I am sick and tired of reading how much better women are.

[Darius11 12]

I understand you are specking from your experience here is a little bit about my personal experience.

I know guys who woman lied to them and got pregnant. Yes I know it is both people’s responsibility but when one person lies to get her claws in to you I hold them responsible.

One of my best friends. They used protection but the they got pregnant any way (condom ripped). She kept the baby even though she knew they were nothing more then fuck buddies. She is pro choice.
My friend is a great guy she didn’t need to yell at him or even ask him he took on the financial responsibility right away before the baby was born. I drove with him 1.5 Hr each way 1-2 times a week so he could hand deliver her cash. He lent her a car he had so she had a way to get around. He basically said no matter what’s going on with him and the child’s mother it is his responsibility.

He is a really nice guy as he helped her with more then he should have. He went to file for child support so what he pays gets recognized, as the mother is one of the very few people who deserve to be called the C word IMHO. They said he can not file for child support the mother has to complain and then there can be a court herring. The only way she would have goon to court is by him not giving her any money. There is no way he was going to sacrifice a second of hardship for his child so he kept on giving her cash. The car he lent her she got so many parking tickets and just thrown them away that it was impounded and lost. There is so much more but my post is already longer then I wanted it to be.

My point: The system regarding family affairs is designed and favors woman. Simple men are not treated equally in the judicial system when it comes to family affaires.

When a woman goes to court she is always viewed as the poor victim until proven wrong and the man is viewed as the evil MAN until it is proven otherwise.


There is nice guys who get screwed by shitty woman every day, just like there is woman who get stuck with shitty guys. I don’t understand why in this country men are always viewed as inferior or stupid.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[rehmwa 2]

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I don’t understand why in this country men are always viewed as inferior or stupid.

Television. The Simpson's mostly I hear.

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[Darius11 12]

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I don’t understand why in this country men are always viewed as inferior or stupid.

Television. The Simpson's mostly I hear.

You know what your right dude.
Even the commercials the guys are always the dumb ass and the woman are always the ones who have the bright idea! How many women have invented something again?

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[RhondaLea 4]

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I don't feel as though I deserve any special praise, but again, thank you. Keep up the great work you yourself are doing.

Today, both you and lawrocket get to be my heroes.


rl

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[rehmwa 2]

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I don’t understand why in this country men are always viewed as inferior or stupid.

Television. The Simpson's mostly I hear.

You know what your right dude.
Even the commercials the guys are always the dumb ass and the woman are always the ones who have the bright idea!

I'll delete the last sentence in quoting you. I see quite a bit of invention in my business and it's not split by gender or any other demographic other than IQ and, mostly, job description. now to the rest of your statement.....

I know, you make a commercial or a sitcom where the roles are reversed, you'll get picket lines and complaints and boycotts.

Plus, it's just not as funny.

But remember, TV is not targetted to the higher thinking crowd. So at least we know that PC bullshit is just pandering to the TV watching crowd. (excepting Simpson's fanatics of course)

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[Darius11 12]

I shouldn’t have even mentioned who invented what as that goes against what I am trying to say.


There should not be a gender war we men and woman have to work together to take on any task that might come to us easier and that we can do better. So as a team we do better

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[lisamariewillbe 1]

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She kept the baby even though she knew they were nothing more then fuck buddies. She is pro choice.

Im glad she kept the baby, just because they made a mistake and had casual sex does not mean that the baby should have been aborted. Being fuck buddies and then getting pregnant is not a reason to kill a baby. She choose to keep the kid.

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He went to file for child support so what he pays gets recognized

I dont understand why it needs to be recognized in a court system if he pays her and she accepts what he pays her. Alot of people do not have specfic C.S. and visitation. They choose to agree to the terms. Paying for a child is not something that should be recognized, hes just doing what he is supposed to.

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He basically said no matter what’s going on with him and the child’s mother it is his responsibility.

Hes right, once it involves a child, no matter what it is about that child. He did the right thing and is sharing responsibility.

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The system regarding family affairs is designed and favors woman. Simple men are not treated equally in the judicial system when it comes to family affaires.

I disagree. And if it was not acceptable to your friend why did he only go for child support and not for custody? I know several single custodial men.

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When a woman goes to court she is always viewed as the poor victim until proven wrong and the man is viewed as the evil MAN until it is proven otherwise.

I dont agree with this statement either. I dont want to argue with it though. I feel you are set in this thinking because of pain you and those around you may have suffered and I dont want to negate your feelings.

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[Darius11 12]

I dont understand why it needs to be recognized in a court system if he pays her and she accepts what he pays her. Alot of people do not have specfic C.S. and visitation. They choose to agree to the terms. Paying for a child is not something that should be recognized, hes just doing what he is supposed to.

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Hi Lisa
The reason he wanted to have it recognized was because she is the type of person to claim he didn’t do anything and lie so she could hurt him in any way she could.

The reason she decided to keep the baby was not like yours. You have your beliefs and I respect you for that. She wanted to force him to marry her or be in his life some how.

Trust me now when I see my Goddaughter she brings nothing but joy to my heart. I am glad she did not have an abortion either.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

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[lisamariewillbe 1]

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The reason he wanted to have it recognized was because she is the type of person to claim he didn’t do anything and lie so she could hurt him in any way she could.

Well if there is still not an order, he needs to start getting reciepts or write checks to prove he pays. It is wrong for any parent to hurt the other one in these kinds of ways... its the kids who suffer in the end

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[lawrocket 3]

I understand your friend, and he is doing things in a fairly right way. And, seeing your story of it, (from the second post) I am gleaning that she is letting your friend spend time with the child. Which means she's a lot cooler than you may know, in that regard.

The parking tickets and things are BS. That's a given.

But, she was cool enough not to take him to court. If he keeps receipts of what he paid, then he'll be in good shape should support be ordered.

Still, I wonder why he hasn't taken HER to court. Why hasn't he filed a parentage action? Why has he not requested custody and visitation? Sounds like he's getting it, but she can cut him off at any time and await a court order. It would be in his best interests to maintain a reltionship, and court orders set up rules of the game.

There are some other interesting things:

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They used protection but the they got pregnant any way (condom ripped)

So use a condom plus foam. Pull out. Finish yourself off. I've seen so many "condom broke" cases that either condoms have an atrocious failure rate, or the condoms aren't breaking and it's a cover by someone.

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The system regarding family affairs is designed and favors woman

The system favors the primary caregiver. Look at Chris Cowden and tell me what a court would do in his situation. Who's giving the nurturing and the bonding? The more nurturing the guy gives, the better off he'll be.

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When a woman goes to court she is always viewed as the poor victim until proven wrong and the man is viewed as the evil MAN until it is proven otherwise.

I've found a couple of things: 1) it's not about the reltive evils. It's about the best interests of the child; 2) If the woman is a fuckup, the court with give the baby to the man. If the man is a fuckup, the court will give the child to the woman. If both are fuckups the child goes to foster care or a famil member. If neither are fuckups, the court works something out for both of them. Good parents will be given lots of time with the kids. It's that simple.

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There is nice guys who get screwed by shitty woman every day, just like there is woman who get stuck with shitty guys.

Yep. Every day. And every guy knows it. So, do you all wanna have that really fun night in exchange for dealing with that shitty woman for the next 19 years? Damn, I'm so glad I did it right in my 20's.

Aren't you?

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I don’t understand why in this country men are always viewed as inferior or stupid.

Because we know the consequences and do it, anyway. We will not see past our pea-brained testosterone and go for something, despite the risks. Your friend is an example of the stupidity. Trust me, it wasn't ignorance.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[RhondaLea 4]

In the early years, I had no order--just a written agreement that I had drafted by my attorney, signed by both of us. It wasn't necessary to have a DNA test--he had no doubt she was his. The agreement provided for acknowledgment of paternity, custody, support and visitation. Later, when he wanted the amount reduced, we negotiated the terms and allowed an order to be entered pursuant to the agreement.

It seems to me that your friend had a back way in by demanding a DNA test.

For the sake of argument, I'll allow that his girlfriend was whacked. Nonetheless, that's not an indictment of the family law system. Some states are behind in recognizing fathers' rights, but we're getting there--and that pendulum has continued to swing with all the others.

People do some crazy shit when it comes to their kids. I remember filing motions about socks and underwear on behalf of one of our clients.

Judges will go a long way toward ruling in ways that will foster a healthy relationship between both parents and children--in most states, the law says that one parent cannot act in a manner that will negatively affect the relationship between the child and the other parent. But it's difficult to decide such things when it all comes down to "he said, she said."

In the end, the courts are pretty fair these days, but it's up to the mother and father who are rearing the child to make it work.

rl

P.S. Men who don't want to be fathers either need to take full responsibility for their own birth control or give up having sex with women they would not want to be the mothers of their children. Whining about how "she tricked me" or "she wouldn't have an abortion" is for pussies. If you know you don't want a child and you still want to engage in sex, have a vasectomy.

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[wmw999 2,446]

At least in my somewhat limited experience (that being mine), the court did nothing that we didn't tell them to do. But it took my ex-husband and me getting together to talk about what was best for all concerned, and hammering out an agreement.

Who do you want making decisions for you -- yourself and other people concerned, or a judge? Judges won't necessarily see things "your" way. Neither will lawyers.

Not everyone can be worked with, that's true. But pride can be awfully expensive.

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)