US citizens vs. the Grand Canyon

[Timmay 0]

I just KNOW this is gonna cause some arguements!
No offence meant, just a bit of stupidity:

It turns out that lunchtime can be rather boring if you don't want to go outside where there's no air-conditioning.

So, following on from a discussion last night about how cool it would be to live in California and that the place was only let down by the presence of copious numbers of Americans, a couple of us entered into a discussion about the possibility of getting all the Americans in the USA, dumping them in the Grand Canyon and re-populating the country as we saw fit.

We were of course concerned, (as I'm sure you all would be), that there might not be enough space in the Grand Canyon to hold all the Americans in the USA. As a result we considered such possibilities as the application of fire to the resulting pile, leading on to the inevitable debate about whether or not that would actually be a particularly good idea given the fat content of the average American and the known propensity of fat to burn fiercely for long periods of time.

But I digress...

Off the back of this discussion I took it upon myself to conduct an admittedly rather detailed feasibility study to discover whether or not all Americans would indeed fit into the Grand Canyon sufficiently enough for us to simply roof it off to guard against the inevitable smell.

So let's start with a few known facts:

1) The US Geological Survey estimates the volume of the Grand Canyon to be approximately 40 billion cubic meters.

2) The volume of the average human is apparently about 19 gallons (0.076 cubic meters allowing for a slight uplift to account for the average American vs. average Human).

3) There are slightly fewer than 300 million Americans present in the USA.

This means there is approximately 22,800,000 cubic meters of American in the USA. WAY less than the Grand Canyon would take. In fact, somewhere less than 1.8%! And that's without taking into account the likely decomposition or indeed compression of those towards the bottom of the heap.

With this margin of error, it is evident that we need not even concern ourselves with relatively minor issues such as the fact that American's are unlikely to properly tessellate and we can thus dispense with the formerly considered requirement for the use of expensive and time consuming wood-chippers along the top of the Canyon.

In summation; the plan proposed last night to pile up all Americans in the Grand Canyon is entirely feasible and could probably be undertaken with very little preparation and a fairly meager budget. I'm sure all of this will come of great comfort to all present.

[miked10270 0]

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... the place was only let down by the presence of copious numbers of Americans, a couple of us entered into a discussion about the possibility of getting all the Americans in the USA, dumping them in the Grand Canyon and re-populating the country as we saw fit.

Excellent idea!

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... we considered such possibilities as the application of fire to the resulting pile, leading on to the inevitable debate about whether or not that would actually be a particularly good idea given the fat content of the average American and the known propensity of fat to burn fiercely for long periods of time.

Would it be possible to cap 'said Grand Canyon with some form of heat exchanger & steam turbine system? Thus the Colorado River could be used to provide masses of green energy - a sort of diversification into McPower, or Energy-King?

We'd need a condenser system to allow the river to continue to power the Boulder Dam.

[freethefly 6]

I am deeply concerned with the potential enviromental hazard that this may cause in the Gulf of California. Dumping waste in America's waterways is an eviromental crime. Besides, the Grand Canyon is a beautiful place. Can you please find another canyon to destroy? Maybe, Copper Canyon in Mexico as it is far bigger than the Grand Canyon. Just say "All expense paid Mexico vacation" and people will leap like lemmings!!

"...And once you're gone, you can't come back
When you're out of the blue and into the black."
Neil Young

[Timmay 0]

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Dumping waste in America's waterways is an eviromental crime.

... Maybe, Copper Canyon in Mexico as it is far bigger than the Grand Canyon.

It would only still be a crime if there were any Americans in charge to prosecute. If they are all in the canyon then they can't charge anyone.

As has already been proven, the size of the Grand Canyon is already much larger than in necessary to accomodate all Americans, so using the Copper Canyon seems overkill. (pardon the pun)

[iwasinkheson68 0]

though taking good honest american pollution and dumping it in mexico would keep in the spirit of NAFTA.

[rickjump1 0]

Great idea. Just don't forget all the illegal residents or you might find yourself having to learn a foreign language to converse with those left behind. On the other hand, you could include them too for the sake of cultural diversity.

Do your part for global warming: ban beans and hold all popcorn farts.

[happythoughts 0]

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It turns out that lunchtime can be rather boring

Based on the volume of statistics quoted, the math performed, and the length of the post - I'd say that you are taking a 6-hour lunch.

[Gawain 0]

Well, the resulting fermentation would provide quite a bit of useful fuel.

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[miked10270 0]

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...I'd say that you are taking a 6-hour lunch.

A mere "Tea-Break" in the sort of civilised country which takes its Tea HOT, rather than ICED!



Mike.

Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.

Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

[happythoughts 0]

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...I'd say that you are taking a 6-hour lunch.

A mere "Tea-Break" in the sort of civilised country which takes its Tea HOT, rather than ICED!

Mike.

Hot tea? I thought Boston Harbor was cooler than that.

I think that was the last Tea Party that we had here.

Oh, wait. I'll bet they don't celebrate the 4th like we do here.

[Timmay 0]

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Based on the volume of statistics quoted, the math performed, and the length of the post - I'd say that you are taking a 6-hour lunch.

Well you see, the standard of maths in the UK is usually slightly higher than in the States so it didn't take too long thankfully

[miked10270 0]

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A mere "Tea-Break" in the sort of civilised country which takes its Tea HOT, rather than ICED!

Hot tea? I thought Boston Harbor was cooler than that.

I think that was the last Tea Party that we had here.

Don't you see!!?

From Boston Harbour right through to your modern equivalent perversion; Iced Tea [vomit], the root cause of The "American-Problem" (as it's referred to in all those countries you've never heard of & can't spell, let alone find) is your inability to take your tea at a proper temperature!

I'm sure that were Dubbie to start the day with a nice, HOT cup of tea (Fair trade, Earl Grey, Milk in first), instead of perpetually "Going for a cheeseburger" (and no doubt Coffee(), then I'm sure that he'd be a better, calmer, more intelligent national leader.

I'll bet that Sir Ronald Reagan, KGB (Knight Grand Cross of the most noble order of the Bath) was a tea drinker in the proper, British sense. He'd have had to be since he regularly took Tea with The Queen and Lady Thatcher... And look at what a superb leader he was. I'd go as far as to say that even today, he'd make a better President than the present incumbent, or even any of the likely 2008 niminees!

Mike.

PS. "Niminees" is not a typo.

Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.

Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

[Jaden 0]

Whoa...That is some truly sick shit, man. I actually had a dream about this lately from a different perspective. Faced with the End situation...The GC could potentially be a safer place for some of us Americans. We aren't all bad. Regardless of your very sick & twisted opinion.

Selective reading, I'm a dumbass. What are you?

[Timmay 0]

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I've actually had a dream about this lately. Faced with the End situation are you sure that you would wan't to bring all Americans.
There are some very sick people out there.

I might be able to understand what you meant better if you put your punctuation in the right places!

(you're not a Yank are you?)

[miked10270 0]

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I might be able to understand what you meant better if you put your punctuation in the right places!

(you're not a Yank are you?)

I may be more able to understand your meaning if you were to use punctuation correctly!

Perhaps Timmay is actually an American? (struck out under "Personal-Attack" Rules) has a part American ancestry? (again!) was educated, or actually originated, somewhere "West of Ireland"?



Mike.

Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.

Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

[Timmay 0]

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Perhaps Timmay is actually an American? (struck out under "Personal-Attack" Rules) has a part American ancestry? (again!) was educated, or actually originated, somewhere "West of Ireland"?



Mike.

I'm not, don't have, and wasn't (in that order)

Otherwise, why would I want to shovel them all into the Grand Canyon?
Dumbass

[christelsabine 1]

..........


Dumbass

[neil_swann80 0]

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I'm sure that were Dubbie to start the day with a nice, HOT cup of tea (Fair trade, Earl Grey, Milk in first)...

Earl Grey should be served with lemon not milk... tut tut!

[miked10270 0]

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I'm sure that were Dubbie to start the day with a nice, HOT cup of tea (Fair trade, Earl Grey, Milk in first)...

Earl Grey should be served with lemon not milk... tut tut!

We're talking about Dubbie here... One step at a time! Hence the suggestion to put the milk in first.

I do prefer a little milk in mine rather than Lemon, which I feel brings a competition of flavours to Earl Grey. Plus... Lemon is ever so slightly "Lower-Middle-Class", something which is more economical because it doesn't turn.

Mike.

Edited to add: I really thought I'd draw Flak for suggesting Fair Trade rather than milk!

Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.

Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

[miked10270 0]

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Perhaps Timmay is actually an American? (struck out under "Personal-Attack" Rules) has a part American ancestry? (again!) was educated, or actually originated, somewhere "West of Ireland"?



Mike.

I'm not, don't have, and wasn't (in that order)

I'm not, haven't, wasn't, and didn't (in that order)!

Between the grammar and your proven prediliction for using an "Americanism" when roused, you will surely concede that my suspicions, while possibly unfounded, do have some prima-facie basis?

Mike.

Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.

Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

[happythoughts 0]

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as it's referred to in all those countries you've never heard of & can't spell, let alone find) is your inability to take your tea at a proper temperature!

True. It's all a matter of priorities. There is oil and hot babes. The remaining countries are barely noteworthy. No sense wasting time.

So, there is Sweden, following the map down through the Big Empty Spot area, to Spain.

The proper temperature of tea is, of course, relative to climate. I'm sure that in any sub-artic region, that anything hot drink is a welcome respite from the permanent grey overcast gloom.

However, in a tropical climate, it is necessary to have cool, refreshing beverages while we happily wait between loads on our clear, sun-shiny days.

[miked10270 0]

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The proper temperature of tea is, of course, relative to climate....

With India, Ceylon Sri Lanka , Burma, Etc... ALL being so frickin' cold!

The problem with ladies who are native to hot countries is that they tend to cover up to protect against the climate! Burkhas & Gandouras, etc... were originally more a climate thing than a religion thing It's the "Sub-Arctic" girlies who are suddenly warmed up that're most interesting!

Be honest! You got it wrong dumping all that tea into the cold waters of Boston Harbour... ANd "Iced-Tea"[vomit] is nothing more than a refusal to admit your original mistake.

Mike.

Edited to add: IF we MUST discuss Iced-Tea[vomit], then may we have the appropriate emoticon please?

Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.

Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

[Timmay 0]

Although I accept that I may have gotten my past-participles mixed up I still say 'Fuck You' (Nicely) to all those that may express their opinion as to my nationality.

Here endeth the sermon.