Scoop 0
Recommended Posts
QuoteYou come to our island and went to Scotland
What were you thinking!
Pub opening hours!!!
Actually, I'm English (always a handy thing to be when you're out in the "former colonies" and somebody asks if you speak English) living in Scotland. Only I've now spent more than half my life in Scotland, so does that make me Scottish? I did try shouting: Och aye... The Noo... Grrr Grrr... English Bastards... Whaur's Ma Claymore... Braveheart... But it just didn't work. Still English.
So now, when somebody asks me: Whit's an Englishman living in Scotland fer?" I just reply that: "My family has a long history of Colonial Service!"
Which doesn't answer the sunburn enigma. My boys have "my" skin. Alasdair now looks like a Seminole Indian after an afternoon in the sun!
Mike.
Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.
Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.
A former girlfriend of mine has told me that she found out she's part Scottish (her mother was adopted & only recently found out she was from a Scottish-American family)
but I still had to explain to her what haggis is. as best I could, because I'm not completely sure myself.
but I still had to explain to her what haggis is. as best I could, because I'm not completely sure myself.
Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
It would certainly be interesting to discover if there actually is a scientific answer to this - I visited the Dead Sea once and a chap mentioned it's much healthier to sunbathe there, as it's far below sea level and the suns rays have to travel that bit further.
Something to do with how it affects the UVA & UVB rays. Apparantly one is more effective in stimulating the chemical which makes you tan while the more damaging rays are filtered out a bit more.
I wonder....
On the Scottish side, here's the best joke I've ever heard;
A Country Gent walks into a local bar in Scotland. He's typically dressed too - tweads, brogues, that kind of thing. The bar's empty except for an old pisshead propped up on the bar in a drunken stupor. Eyeing him disdainfully the gent orders a whisky. As the bargirl turns to get his drink, he quietly says;
"Tickle your arse with a feather..."
Shocked, she spins round, "I beg your pardon!!??"
He answers, "Oh, I'm just commenting on the particularly awful weather."
Looking a bit confused she accepts his answer and goes off after serving him a whisky.
The old pisshead has now sat up by this time. He pokes a finger in the gents chest,
"Whits aw this aboot arses and feathers?" he asks.
"It's a chat up line!" answers the gent, "When her back is turned say 'tickle your arse with a feather.'
If she's interested she'll turn round and smile - otherwise you cover your tracks by saying 'particularly awful weather.' It's splendid - you should try it some time."
The pisshead rubs his chin, then bangs his fist on the bar.
"What is it now Rab?" asks the bargirl. Pointing a wobbly finger at her he demands,
"Geez a' pint o' lager!"
The bargirls stood right in front of him, pulling his pint. Again, pointing a finger he shouts quickly,
"Shove a feather up yer arse!!"
"You bloody what!?"
"......er....It's fuckin' pissin' doon ootside!"
Anyway, sorry, back to UVA/UVB rays.....
'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
Something to do with how it affects the UVA & UVB rays. Apparantly one is more effective in stimulating the chemical which makes you tan while the more damaging rays are filtered out a bit more.
I wonder....
On the Scottish side, here's the best joke I've ever heard;
A Country Gent walks into a local bar in Scotland. He's typically dressed too - tweads, brogues, that kind of thing. The bar's empty except for an old pisshead propped up on the bar in a drunken stupor. Eyeing him disdainfully the gent orders a whisky. As the bargirl turns to get his drink, he quietly says;
"Tickle your arse with a feather..."
Shocked, she spins round, "I beg your pardon!!??"
He answers, "Oh, I'm just commenting on the particularly awful weather."
Looking a bit confused she accepts his answer and goes off after serving him a whisky.
The old pisshead has now sat up by this time. He pokes a finger in the gents chest,
"Whits aw this aboot arses and feathers?" he asks.
"It's a chat up line!" answers the gent, "When her back is turned say 'tickle your arse with a feather.'
If she's interested she'll turn round and smile - otherwise you cover your tracks by saying 'particularly awful weather.' It's splendid - you should try it some time."
The pisshead rubs his chin, then bangs his fist on the bar.
"What is it now Rab?" asks the bargirl. Pointing a wobbly finger at her he demands,
"Geez a' pint o' lager!"
The bargirls stood right in front of him, pulling his pint. Again, pointing a finger he shouts quickly,
"Shove a feather up yer arse!!"
"You bloody what!?"
"......er....It's fuckin' pissin' doon ootside!"
Anyway, sorry, back to UVA/UVB rays.....
'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'
dorbie 0
QuoteYeah... It's that "time" of year again... "Summer" time (which in Scotland rarely lasts more than two hours 12 seconds including the sumer-time adjustment of 2 hours)
In Scotland it's freezing despite the sunshine so you don't feel the radiation cooking your skin and stay out in the stuff too long. Getting burnt whilst freezing your peely-wally ass off is definitely part of the Scottish experience.
Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
The weather Gods are punishing the Scottish for no other reason than being Scottish (or living in Scotland in your case). The weather God overseeing AZ was obviously unaware of who you were but I've put him straight now
On a serious note the atmosphere does filter out harmful UV rays .... so the more sky the rays travel through the least harm they do. This means the lower in altitude you are the greater protection you have - aircabin crew receive the equavelent radiation of 80,000 x-rays per year apparently. The atmosphere is also thicker at the equator and thinner at the poles so sunbathing up north could be more harmful.... however the solar beem at the equator is more concentrated and the higher latitudes receive the suns energy over a greater area so it's not as powerful......... how this answers your question I have no idea I suspect the sun rises earlier in Scotland than AZ as well as setting later so you would get more sunshine hours which might account for the sunburn. Did you wear a jumpsuit whilst in AZ that would have protected you? The humidity in Scotland would probably make you want to wear less clothes and expose more skin perhaps.
On a serious note the atmosphere does filter out harmful UV rays .... so the more sky the rays travel through the least harm they do. This means the lower in altitude you are the greater protection you have - aircabin crew receive the equavelent radiation of 80,000 x-rays per year apparently. The atmosphere is also thicker at the equator and thinner at the poles so sunbathing up north could be more harmful.... however the solar beem at the equator is more concentrated and the higher latitudes receive the suns energy over a greater area so it's not as powerful......... how this answers your question I have no idea
I suspect the sun rises earlier in Scotland than AZ as well as setting later so you would get more sunshine hours which might account for the sunburn. Did you wear a jumpsuit whilst in AZ that would have protected you? The humidity in Scotland would probably make you want to wear less clothes and expose more skin perhaps.
QuoteThe weather Gods are punishing the Scottish for no other reason than being Scottish (or living in Scotland in your case). The weather God overseeing AZ was obviously unaware of who you were but I've put him straight now
Actually, you've got is completely backwards.
Britain DOES NOT suffer from earthquakes, hurricanes, typhoons, tornados, massive floods, sandstorms, excessive heat, excessive cold, etc... for the simple reason that God is, in fact, Scottish.
That's also why Y'All use the "King James Version" of the Bible. Scottish God... Scottish King of Britain sets British Bible. Thus, peace & prosperity is achieved as people throughout the world become more Scottish.
Hence, British weather is largely calm, temperate, reasonable, moderate, in control, etc... God, being a Scot, knows better than to $hit on his own doorstep.
Mike.
Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.
Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.
kallend 2,106
QuoteQuoteThe weather Gods are punishing the Scottish for no other reason than being Scottish (or living in Scotland in your case). The weather God overseeing AZ was obviously unaware of who you were but I've put him straight now
Actually, you've got is completely backwards.
Britain DOES NOT suffer from earthquakes, hurricanes, typhoons, tornados, massive floods, sandstorms, excessive heat, excessive cold, etc... for the simple reason that God is, in fact, Scottish.
That's also why Y'All use the "King James Version" of the Bible. Scottish God... Scottish King of Britain sets British Bible. Thus, peace & prosperity is achieved as people throughout the world become more Scottish.
Hence, British weather is largely calm, temperate, reasonable, moderate, in control, etc... God, being a Scot, knows better than to $hit on his own doorstep.
Mike.
But surely Sir Ralph Richardson is The Supreme Being?
...
The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.
The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.
Quote
In Scotland it's freezing despite the sunshine so you don't feel the radiation cooking your skin and stay out in the stuff too long. Getting burnt whilst freezing your peely-wally ass off is definitely part of the Scottish experience.
I spent two years in Edinburgh. During my first "summer" over there, I recall going out drinking with some other skydivers. I had on my leather jacket, and was wearing a scarf. They all had short sleeve shirts on. One commented, "We don't wear our jackets during the summer". I thought, "This is summer?"
We are all engines of karma
bch7773 0
particularly NASTY weather.
its not awful.... nasty sounds closer to ass then awful.
MB 3528, RB 1182
its not awful.... nasty sounds closer to ass then awful.
MB 3528, RB 1182
kallend 2,106
I went on a fishing vacation in Scotland (Skye) in 1968, and they had a five-week drought and all the trout streams had dried up!
...
The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.
The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.
QuoteGod, being a Scot, knows better than to $hit on his own doorstep.
Then how do you explain haggis?
Speed Racer
--------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------
dorbie 0
QuoteQuoteGod, being a Scot, knows better than to $hit on his own doorstep.
Then how do you explain haggis?
That's the Ambrosia.
Quote
I went on a fishing vacation in Scotland (Skye) in 1968, and they had a five-week drought and all the trout streams had dried up!
It's OOR
or did you try a little Shark-Fishing?
Speaking of sharks, another classic example of God not $hitting on his own doorstep. Y'All have Great White Sharks, Tiger Sharks, stuff that'll have your leg off if Y'All go paddling.
Sharks in Scotland..? Partial to algae and perhaps the occasional shrimp.
And as for Haggis... Don't have to explain it. Just have to export it to folk who'll buy it as a delicacy!
Mike.
PS: Real Haggis is delicious - just don't ask about the ingredients.
Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.
Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.
"So now, when somebody asks me: Whit's an Englishman living in Scotland fer?"
Stock answer should be...
Improving the gene pool.
Stock answer should be...
Improving the gene pool.
--------------------
He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson
He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me. Thomas Jefferson
kallend 2,106
Quote"So now, when somebody asks me: Whit's an Englishman living in Scotland fer?"
Stock answer should be...
Improving the gene pool.
In both countries!
...
The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.
The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.
pirana 0
QuoteStrangely, we were far more comfortable in Az temperatures of 35-40C than Scotland's 25-29C. There's a lot of truth in the old "It's not the heat, it's the humidity" thing.
As for sun angle, Az sun in May or September is higher than Scotland ANYTIME!
Believe me, we weren't cowering indoors. Today (when Iona & Lauren burned), wasn't unlike a typical day when we were in Az, only it wasn't as "sticky" in Az.
Another thing was that I didn't tan as well as in Az (being a former 'desert-dweller' I can turn black in a day - right before your eyes). This suggests to me that the sun just isn't as strong here.
I wonder if it is a humidity thing - sweat not evaporating here as well as in a desert.
Mike.
Then it is settled. You are simply a freak of nature.
Next science question please.
" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley
crwtom 0
Quote
Does ANYONE have any idea why they burn in Scotland, but simply tan in Az? Surely it should be the other way around, shouldn't it?
Perhaps the anticipated Arctic Ozone Hole is already much further along than we think.
Cheers, T
*******************************************************************
Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true
Fear causes hesitation, and hesitation will cause your worst fears to come true
Share this post
Link to post
Share on other sites