jenfly00 0 #26 October 23, 2006 QuoteQuoteNo disrespect to your parents but longevity of a relationship doesn't say anything about love or the quality of the relationship. Just means that, for whatever reasons, they stayed together. Um. Are your parents separated? t Usually only after we throw a bucket of water on them----------------------- "O brave new world that has such people in it". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #27 October 23, 2006 Quoteand boys dont like sleeping with old, loose skin, wrinkled women. (I am just writing what all guys think, and some will probably write and say im wrong.but thats cool. ) and girls don't like sleeping with men who have sagging pectoral muscles, expanding waistlines, drooping butts and nose/earhair. Seriously though, I guess I got lucky. I met someone who loves me, the three children I came with and the baby we made together. I hope we are together forever and we can both be saggy and loose together when we're older. My guess is that you haven't found true intimacy yet and when you do you'll be surprised at what you do for one another and that the physical imperfections in each other are actually perfect. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #28 October 23, 2006 You know if you look at woman as an object you might be right, but believe it or not there not objects but people. Do you replace your best friend when you find one that is better looking, or richer? There has to be more then a materiel reason why you become friends with someone right? What if you meet a great woman who is your best friend? Would you replace her because a “hotter” version comes in to view? Also what is viewed as hot is different for everyone. I have found my self very attracted to woman who are not your average hotties, and have found often what the general public (or what the media wants us to believe) attractive not attractive at all. I guess a big part of it could be I never looked at woman as a ride I would like to take but as a person I would like to know. The essence of a good relationship with anyone is honestly, caring, and loyalty. I am not trying to pick on you I know many people who feel the same way as your do both male and female. They are always looking for the upgrade, and the new model. It's just that not all look at it the same way.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #29 October 23, 2006 Very well said, Darius. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Steel 0 #30 October 23, 2006 QuoteQuoteLove can be forever. I believe it does exist. On 22 Dec my parents will have been married for 50 years. They're going back to where they went on honeymoon to celebrate. I believe love can be forever. t My parents will have been 40 years together in Dec 18. My fathers parents unfortunately will not make their 72nd wedding anniversary because my grandfather just died 3 days short of his 98 birthday, less than 2 weeks ago. Strangely enough my marriage lasted just under 4 years but I have been with my girlfreind living together almost that long. I've have come to have somewhat of a neutral stand on marriage. There is no doubt in my mind that true love does exist, I see that very much in my grandmother's reaction to my grandfather's passing. But I hate the institution of marriage the American way. I do see it as a way for a man to put everything he may have worked for his whole life on the line. A future bride could come along act wonderfully and then 3 years into the marriage change completely, destroy the marriage, take half of his property and most likely his kids (if they have any). What I am saying that that given that the American court system is so generous to the female divorcee, marriage from the male standpoint is a bad risk.If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass. Can't think of anything I need No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound. Nothing to eat, no books to read. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites kbordson 8 #31 October 23, 2006 My thoughts on marraige are influenced by the fact that my parents were married 28 years.... until the day that my Dad died. It was NOT the best for either of them. I honestly think they should have seperated despite having three children. Sometimes "love" isn't what we thought it was, sometimes "love" isn't caring. Then the bond becomes painful and confining. My mother was constantly walking on eggshells and crying. What image does that project. I'm not saying that my Dad should have "upgraded." Just that the relationship wasn't healthy. Sometimes marraige makes it a lot more difficult to be happy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkyDekker 1,465 #32 October 23, 2006 pre-nup Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Steel 0 #33 October 23, 2006 Quotepre-nup I agree that a pre-nup is a must for somebody with assets that they care about. However, a pre-nup can not cover kids and unless the mother is a drug addict or something horrible, she will probably win in the event of a custody battle.If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass. Can't think of anything I need No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound. Nothing to eat, no books to read. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkyDekker 1,465 #34 October 23, 2006 That is a fact prior to having kids. That is not something that changes...unlike women once they say I do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Calvin19 0 #35 October 23, 2006 QuoteThat is a fact prior to having kids. That is not something that changes...unlike women once they say I do. I have a list of 877 reasons NOT to have children. some are politcal, some are humanitary, some are just opinion. but haveing kids, just may be the worse thing you can do for the future of the human race. especialy more than one kid. -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Butters 0 #36 October 23, 2006 Quotebut haveing kids, just may be the worse thing you can do for the future of the human race. especialy more than one kid. For some people, having even one kid is the worst thing they can do for the future of the human race. For some people, having no kids is the worst thing they can do for the future of the human race. I believe that marriage is harder today than yesterday because roles are less defined, people have less long term planning (who do I want to be, where do I want to be, etc...), and culture (get what I want when I want it). PS: I'm not married and have never been married so my opinion is worth ..."That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ROK 0 #37 October 23, 2006 QuoteIt's called pure hypocrisy. Women are human and you are either going accept that or be forever on the lookout for an upgrade. Good luck because no matter how good her hardware is her software could still have some crazy virus. At least with a woman who's older and you've been with and you know which shade of crazy she has already and whether you can handle it or not. Love can be forever. I believe it does exist. There has to be guys out there left who aren't complete assholes. I believe I may even know a couple of them. In my humble opinion... In order to have a long lasting relationship, of any kind, we have to be secure in ourselves. We have to accept our own faults and strengths and believe in who we are. It's very difficult to love someone if we constantly wonder if we ourselves are desirable. Marriage is huge! When you find someone that you want to share everything with, no secrets, no fear, someone whom you don't want to slink away from after sex, someone you can call your best friend, marry them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites livendive 8 #38 October 23, 2006 I imagine most of those statements would ring similarly true if we switched all the gender specific terms. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites justinb138 0 #39 October 23, 2006 Quote When you find someone that you want to share everything with, no secrets, no fear, someone whom you don't want to slink away from after sex, someone you can call your best friend, marry them. Why would someone have to get married to do that? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ROK 0 #40 October 23, 2006 QuoteQuote When you find someone that you want to share everything with, no secrets, no fear, someone whom you don't want to slink away from after sex, someone you can call your best friend, marry them. Why would someone have to get married to do that? You don't have to get married if you have these things, but why not? If you love someone, and they love you, why not follow it up with a commitment? Relationships are hard work, and there are times when that commitment will keep you working, instead of running... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Calvin19 0 #41 October 23, 2006 Quote why not follow it up with a commitment? ... do you really want me to answer that? -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Calvin19 0 #42 October 23, 2006 Quote and girls don't like sleeping with men who have sagging pectoral muscles, expanding waistlines, drooping butts and nose/earhair. . just so all you women out there know, I am 5' 8" (kinda short, but oh well) im 150lbs, (not to skinny, but not sterooided out either) i have an amazing 8 pack, defined arms, etc. but, im balding. im screwed for life. i really wish some girls liked bald guys. whats up with balding when your 22? seriously? this sucks. anyone want to donate hair for my plugs? -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Michele 1 #43 October 23, 2006 Calvin, there's nothing wrong with balding men, nothing wrong whatsoever, even at 22. However, for me to be attracted to someone, I have to be attracted to their attitude. if you really believe some of the things you posted on this thread, you might - just might - look to see if that's the cause (and that's not a personal attack; it's simply an observation. if it is a personal attack and I'm not aware of it, mods forgive me and remove, 'cause it most certainly isn't intended as one...). And just for reference sake, I adore how some men stand there and state how shallow they are, and then wonder why there isn't someone "deep" in their life. Like attracts like, and that's just the way it is... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Royd 0 #44 October 23, 2006 Quotei really wish some girls liked bald guys. whats up with balding when your 22? seriously? this sucks. anyone want to donate hair for my plugs? Damn, man! You're only 22yr. old with an attitude like that. I've been burned by a wife, and a fiance, and now that I know and love freedom, it would take one hell of a woman to start a fire in me that would make me want to change anything about my present lifestyle. I also find that is so much easier carrying on an everyday conversation with the opposite sex when you have absolutely no hopes or expectations toward that person. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #45 October 23, 2006 QuoteI imagine most of those statements would ring similarly true if we switched all the gender specific terms. Blues, Dave Yep, most of them are reversible. In fact, two of my female friends have been dating men their junior. 34 and 27, 37 and 30. That's their bidness. I've heard all of them from both sexes. Except maybe reason 3. "Reason 3: Men want to avoid divorce and its financial risks." Financially, it is still a huge financial risk for guys. I am not surprised to see that guys mentioned it. To get past this, I suggest a bond. Have the woman put up a $200K bond with the proviso that it becomes null after 15 years. The refunded bond money becomes hers again. That way, the guys can't use that excuse. The women would certainly be ok with it because they plan to stay married forever. What could be fairer than that. From both sides, I think that living together has probably saved a lot of heartache. Most people can look back at that SO from 21-23 years old and think, "OMG, I would have slit my wrists if I had married them..." The 26yo with 8 tattoos and blue spikes was fun in a bar at 21, but not good at getting the kids up before going work at 31. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites swedishcelt 0 #46 October 24, 2006 QuoteQuote and girls don't like sleeping with men who have sagging pectoral muscles, expanding waistlines, drooping butts and nose/earhair. . just so all you women out there know, I am 5' 8" (kinda short, but oh well) im 150lbs, (not to skinny, but not sterooided out either) i have an amazing 8 pack, defined arms, etc. but, im balding. im screwed for life. i really wish some girls liked bald guys. whats up with balding when your 22? seriously? this sucks. anyone want to donate hair for my plugs?OMFG, are you saying this chip on your shoulder is cause you've no hair? That doesn't matter in the LEAST. Trust me on that. A lot of women date and are attracted to bald or shaved headed men. What's the difference if the rest of the package is cool. I would be more worried about your low opinion of women and their worth than your looks. Hair doesn't matter, YOU do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Squeak 17 #47 October 24, 2006 QuoteQuote OMFG, are you saying this chip on your shoulder is cause you've no hair? it's a BIG chip tooYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Calvin19 0 #48 October 24, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuote and girls don't like sleeping with men who have sagging pectoral muscles, expanding waistlines, drooping butts and nose/earhair. . ?OMFG, are you saying this chip on your shoulder is cause you've no hair? ] oh, worry not, i fealt like this about gettingmarried when i was 16. 4 years before i lost my hair. and i still get girls. its just a self esteem thing. i loved my hair. i guess immore of a girl than i thought. -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #49 October 25, 2006 The first rule of politics: If someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer, provide an answer to question that you do like. I rest my case. Reason number 11 has been engaged. No one even wants to discuss the original 10 reasons. Instead, we are off to a tangent as predicted in post 1. (I need to start a 1-900 psychic line) If women are concerned about relationships, and the original 10 reasons are the prime issues, it seems like the discussion would center there. I think I need a little validation of my feelings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites georgerussia 0 #50 October 25, 2006 I will try to comment some points. Seeing this study in the past, I found strange that some reasons are strictly related to marriage, and some are related to any long-term relationship. In my opinion those things should not be mixed in topics like "why people do not marry". Let's see it closer. Quote Reason 1: Men can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past. The study author does not define "times past". But it does not look true anyway. It was never a challenge to get sex without marriage. Especially if you were in a long-term relationship. The only thing that changed is the society attitude to sex without marriage. Quote Reason 2: Men can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying. This seems to be the only point where the study author makes a clear delimitation between marriage and cohabitation (long-term relationship without marriage). The only problem is that the author did not list any of those benefits, and I fail to remember any, except tax and inheritance benefits. Quote Reason 3: Men want to avoid divorce and its financial risks. This point is clearly marriage-related, and is correct. It becomes even more important when you look on marriage/divorce statistic. Quote Reason 4: Men want to wait until they are older to have children. This point is not clear. Obviously you can, and a lot of people do have children in their long-term relationships. You do not have to go to marriage to have children. Quote Reason 5: Men fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises. This point is not clear either. If a man is already in long-term relationship, getting married will probably change nothing. If a man is avoiding long-term relationships because it requires too many changes and compromises, this is not marriage-specific point, and should be part of another study. Quote Reason 6: Men are waiting for the perfect soul mate and she hasn't yet appeared. I don't see the point here. Does it mean that in "good old days" men were marrying the first person they saw? There always was, is and will be somebody looking for ideal. The number of such people should not be large though. However this may be a valid point for delimitation between long-term relationship and marriage. Quote Reason 7: Men face few social pressures to marry. This is effect, not cause. If society sees no real benefits to be married compating to long-term relationship (point 2), the result is obvious. Quote Reason 8: Men are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children. Related to both long-term and marriage. It did not really change comparing to past. Maybe the author tried to make a point that the number of women with children is nowadays larger comparing with past? Quote Reason 9: They want to own a house before they get a wife. This point looks senseless for me. Maybe just an excuse, or a way to avoid direct answer to the question. Any clue? Quote Reason 10: Men want to enjoy life as long as they can. This point probably implies that men cannot enjoy life in marriage. Which is not true, and therefore the point is strange at least.* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. * Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 Next Page 2 of 3 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. 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Steel 0 #30 October 23, 2006 QuoteQuoteLove can be forever. I believe it does exist. On 22 Dec my parents will have been married for 50 years. They're going back to where they went on honeymoon to celebrate. I believe love can be forever. t My parents will have been 40 years together in Dec 18. My fathers parents unfortunately will not make their 72nd wedding anniversary because my grandfather just died 3 days short of his 98 birthday, less than 2 weeks ago. Strangely enough my marriage lasted just under 4 years but I have been with my girlfreind living together almost that long. I've have come to have somewhat of a neutral stand on marriage. There is no doubt in my mind that true love does exist, I see that very much in my grandmother's reaction to my grandfather's passing. But I hate the institution of marriage the American way. I do see it as a way for a man to put everything he may have worked for his whole life on the line. A future bride could come along act wonderfully and then 3 years into the marriage change completely, destroy the marriage, take half of his property and most likely his kids (if they have any). What I am saying that that given that the American court system is so generous to the female divorcee, marriage from the male standpoint is a bad risk.If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass. Can't think of anything I need No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound. Nothing to eat, no books to read. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #31 October 23, 2006 My thoughts on marraige are influenced by the fact that my parents were married 28 years.... until the day that my Dad died. It was NOT the best for either of them. I honestly think they should have seperated despite having three children. Sometimes "love" isn't what we thought it was, sometimes "love" isn't caring. Then the bond becomes painful and confining. My mother was constantly walking on eggshells and crying. What image does that project. I'm not saying that my Dad should have "upgraded." Just that the relationship wasn't healthy. Sometimes marraige makes it a lot more difficult to be happy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Steel 0 #33 October 23, 2006 Quotepre-nup I agree that a pre-nup is a must for somebody with assets that they care about. However, a pre-nup can not cover kids and unless the mother is a drug addict or something horrible, she will probably win in the event of a custody battle.If I could make a wish, I think I'd pass. Can't think of anything I need No cigarettes, no sleep, no light, no sound. Nothing to eat, no books to read. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyDekker 1,465 #34 October 23, 2006 That is a fact prior to having kids. That is not something that changes...unlike women once they say I do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin19 0 #35 October 23, 2006 QuoteThat is a fact prior to having kids. That is not something that changes...unlike women once they say I do. I have a list of 877 reasons NOT to have children. some are politcal, some are humanitary, some are just opinion. but haveing kids, just may be the worse thing you can do for the future of the human race. especialy more than one kid. -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Butters 0 #36 October 23, 2006 Quotebut haveing kids, just may be the worse thing you can do for the future of the human race. especialy more than one kid. For some people, having even one kid is the worst thing they can do for the future of the human race. For some people, having no kids is the worst thing they can do for the future of the human race. I believe that marriage is harder today than yesterday because roles are less defined, people have less long term planning (who do I want to be, where do I want to be, etc...), and culture (get what I want when I want it). PS: I'm not married and have never been married so my opinion is worth ..."That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ROK 0 #37 October 23, 2006 QuoteIt's called pure hypocrisy. Women are human and you are either going accept that or be forever on the lookout for an upgrade. Good luck because no matter how good her hardware is her software could still have some crazy virus. At least with a woman who's older and you've been with and you know which shade of crazy she has already and whether you can handle it or not. Love can be forever. I believe it does exist. There has to be guys out there left who aren't complete assholes. I believe I may even know a couple of them. In my humble opinion... In order to have a long lasting relationship, of any kind, we have to be secure in ourselves. We have to accept our own faults and strengths and believe in who we are. It's very difficult to love someone if we constantly wonder if we ourselves are desirable. Marriage is huge! When you find someone that you want to share everything with, no secrets, no fear, someone whom you don't want to slink away from after sex, someone you can call your best friend, marry them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #38 October 23, 2006 I imagine most of those statements would ring similarly true if we switched all the gender specific terms. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justinb138 0 #39 October 23, 2006 Quote When you find someone that you want to share everything with, no secrets, no fear, someone whom you don't want to slink away from after sex, someone you can call your best friend, marry them. Why would someone have to get married to do that? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ROK 0 #40 October 23, 2006 QuoteQuote When you find someone that you want to share everything with, no secrets, no fear, someone whom you don't want to slink away from after sex, someone you can call your best friend, marry them. Why would someone have to get married to do that? You don't have to get married if you have these things, but why not? If you love someone, and they love you, why not follow it up with a commitment? Relationships are hard work, and there are times when that commitment will keep you working, instead of running... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin19 0 #41 October 23, 2006 Quote why not follow it up with a commitment? ... do you really want me to answer that? -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin19 0 #42 October 23, 2006 Quote and girls don't like sleeping with men who have sagging pectoral muscles, expanding waistlines, drooping butts and nose/earhair. . just so all you women out there know, I am 5' 8" (kinda short, but oh well) im 150lbs, (not to skinny, but not sterooided out either) i have an amazing 8 pack, defined arms, etc. but, im balding. im screwed for life. i really wish some girls liked bald guys. whats up with balding when your 22? seriously? this sucks. anyone want to donate hair for my plugs? -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #43 October 23, 2006 Calvin, there's nothing wrong with balding men, nothing wrong whatsoever, even at 22. However, for me to be attracted to someone, I have to be attracted to their attitude. if you really believe some of the things you posted on this thread, you might - just might - look to see if that's the cause (and that's not a personal attack; it's simply an observation. if it is a personal attack and I'm not aware of it, mods forgive me and remove, 'cause it most certainly isn't intended as one...). And just for reference sake, I adore how some men stand there and state how shallow they are, and then wonder why there isn't someone "deep" in their life. Like attracts like, and that's just the way it is... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Royd 0 #44 October 23, 2006 Quotei really wish some girls liked bald guys. whats up with balding when your 22? seriously? this sucks. anyone want to donate hair for my plugs? Damn, man! You're only 22yr. old with an attitude like that. I've been burned by a wife, and a fiance, and now that I know and love freedom, it would take one hell of a woman to start a fire in me that would make me want to change anything about my present lifestyle. I also find that is so much easier carrying on an everyday conversation with the opposite sex when you have absolutely no hopes or expectations toward that person. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #45 October 23, 2006 QuoteI imagine most of those statements would ring similarly true if we switched all the gender specific terms. Blues, Dave Yep, most of them are reversible. In fact, two of my female friends have been dating men their junior. 34 and 27, 37 and 30. That's their bidness. I've heard all of them from both sexes. Except maybe reason 3. "Reason 3: Men want to avoid divorce and its financial risks." Financially, it is still a huge financial risk for guys. I am not surprised to see that guys mentioned it. To get past this, I suggest a bond. Have the woman put up a $200K bond with the proviso that it becomes null after 15 years. The refunded bond money becomes hers again. That way, the guys can't use that excuse. The women would certainly be ok with it because they plan to stay married forever. What could be fairer than that. From both sides, I think that living together has probably saved a lot of heartache. Most people can look back at that SO from 21-23 years old and think, "OMG, I would have slit my wrists if I had married them..." The 26yo with 8 tattoos and blue spikes was fun in a bar at 21, but not good at getting the kids up before going work at 31. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
swedishcelt 0 #46 October 24, 2006 QuoteQuote and girls don't like sleeping with men who have sagging pectoral muscles, expanding waistlines, drooping butts and nose/earhair. . just so all you women out there know, I am 5' 8" (kinda short, but oh well) im 150lbs, (not to skinny, but not sterooided out either) i have an amazing 8 pack, defined arms, etc. but, im balding. im screwed for life. i really wish some girls liked bald guys. whats up with balding when your 22? seriously? this sucks. anyone want to donate hair for my plugs?OMFG, are you saying this chip on your shoulder is cause you've no hair? That doesn't matter in the LEAST. Trust me on that. A lot of women date and are attracted to bald or shaved headed men. What's the difference if the rest of the package is cool. I would be more worried about your low opinion of women and their worth than your looks. Hair doesn't matter, YOU do. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #47 October 24, 2006 QuoteQuote OMFG, are you saying this chip on your shoulder is cause you've no hair? it's a BIG chip tooYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Calvin19 0 #48 October 24, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuote and girls don't like sleeping with men who have sagging pectoral muscles, expanding waistlines, drooping butts and nose/earhair. . ?OMFG, are you saying this chip on your shoulder is cause you've no hair? ] oh, worry not, i fealt like this about gettingmarried when i was 16. 4 years before i lost my hair. and i still get girls. its just a self esteem thing. i loved my hair. i guess immore of a girl than i thought. -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #49 October 25, 2006 The first rule of politics: If someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer, provide an answer to question that you do like. I rest my case. Reason number 11 has been engaged. No one even wants to discuss the original 10 reasons. Instead, we are off to a tangent as predicted in post 1. (I need to start a 1-900 psychic line) If women are concerned about relationships, and the original 10 reasons are the prime issues, it seems like the discussion would center there. I think I need a little validation of my feelings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites georgerussia 0 #50 October 25, 2006 I will try to comment some points. Seeing this study in the past, I found strange that some reasons are strictly related to marriage, and some are related to any long-term relationship. In my opinion those things should not be mixed in topics like "why people do not marry". Let's see it closer. Quote Reason 1: Men can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past. The study author does not define "times past". But it does not look true anyway. It was never a challenge to get sex without marriage. Especially if you were in a long-term relationship. The only thing that changed is the society attitude to sex without marriage. Quote Reason 2: Men can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying. This seems to be the only point where the study author makes a clear delimitation between marriage and cohabitation (long-term relationship without marriage). The only problem is that the author did not list any of those benefits, and I fail to remember any, except tax and inheritance benefits. Quote Reason 3: Men want to avoid divorce and its financial risks. This point is clearly marriage-related, and is correct. It becomes even more important when you look on marriage/divorce statistic. Quote Reason 4: Men want to wait until they are older to have children. This point is not clear. Obviously you can, and a lot of people do have children in their long-term relationships. You do not have to go to marriage to have children. Quote Reason 5: Men fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises. This point is not clear either. If a man is already in long-term relationship, getting married will probably change nothing. If a man is avoiding long-term relationships because it requires too many changes and compromises, this is not marriage-specific point, and should be part of another study. Quote Reason 6: Men are waiting for the perfect soul mate and she hasn't yet appeared. I don't see the point here. Does it mean that in "good old days" men were marrying the first person they saw? There always was, is and will be somebody looking for ideal. The number of such people should not be large though. However this may be a valid point for delimitation between long-term relationship and marriage. Quote Reason 7: Men face few social pressures to marry. This is effect, not cause. If society sees no real benefits to be married compating to long-term relationship (point 2), the result is obvious. Quote Reason 8: Men are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children. Related to both long-term and marriage. It did not really change comparing to past. Maybe the author tried to make a point that the number of women with children is nowadays larger comparing with past? Quote Reason 9: They want to own a house before they get a wife. This point looks senseless for me. Maybe just an excuse, or a way to avoid direct answer to the question. Any clue? Quote Reason 10: Men want to enjoy life as long as they can. This point probably implies that men cannot enjoy life in marriage. Which is not true, and therefore the point is strange at least.* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. * Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 Next Page 2 of 3 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. 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Calvin19 0 #48 October 24, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuote and girls don't like sleeping with men who have sagging pectoral muscles, expanding waistlines, drooping butts and nose/earhair. . ?OMFG, are you saying this chip on your shoulder is cause you've no hair? ] oh, worry not, i fealt like this about gettingmarried when i was 16. 4 years before i lost my hair. and i still get girls. its just a self esteem thing. i loved my hair. i guess immore of a girl than i thought. -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #49 October 25, 2006 The first rule of politics: If someone asks you a question that you don't want to answer, provide an answer to question that you do like. I rest my case. Reason number 11 has been engaged. No one even wants to discuss the original 10 reasons. Instead, we are off to a tangent as predicted in post 1. (I need to start a 1-900 psychic line) If women are concerned about relationships, and the original 10 reasons are the prime issues, it seems like the discussion would center there. I think I need a little validation of my feelings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
georgerussia 0 #50 October 25, 2006 I will try to comment some points. Seeing this study in the past, I found strange that some reasons are strictly related to marriage, and some are related to any long-term relationship. In my opinion those things should not be mixed in topics like "why people do not marry". Let's see it closer. Quote Reason 1: Men can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past. The study author does not define "times past". But it does not look true anyway. It was never a challenge to get sex without marriage. Especially if you were in a long-term relationship. The only thing that changed is the society attitude to sex without marriage. Quote Reason 2: Men can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying. This seems to be the only point where the study author makes a clear delimitation between marriage and cohabitation (long-term relationship without marriage). The only problem is that the author did not list any of those benefits, and I fail to remember any, except tax and inheritance benefits. Quote Reason 3: Men want to avoid divorce and its financial risks. This point is clearly marriage-related, and is correct. It becomes even more important when you look on marriage/divorce statistic. Quote Reason 4: Men want to wait until they are older to have children. This point is not clear. Obviously you can, and a lot of people do have children in their long-term relationships. You do not have to go to marriage to have children. Quote Reason 5: Men fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises. This point is not clear either. If a man is already in long-term relationship, getting married will probably change nothing. If a man is avoiding long-term relationships because it requires too many changes and compromises, this is not marriage-specific point, and should be part of another study. Quote Reason 6: Men are waiting for the perfect soul mate and she hasn't yet appeared. I don't see the point here. Does it mean that in "good old days" men were marrying the first person they saw? There always was, is and will be somebody looking for ideal. The number of such people should not be large though. However this may be a valid point for delimitation between long-term relationship and marriage. Quote Reason 7: Men face few social pressures to marry. This is effect, not cause. If society sees no real benefits to be married compating to long-term relationship (point 2), the result is obvious. Quote Reason 8: Men are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children. Related to both long-term and marriage. It did not really change comparing to past. Maybe the author tried to make a point that the number of women with children is nowadays larger comparing with past? Quote Reason 9: They want to own a house before they get a wife. This point looks senseless for me. Maybe just an excuse, or a way to avoid direct answer to the question. Any clue? Quote Reason 10: Men want to enjoy life as long as they can. This point probably implies that men cannot enjoy life in marriage. Which is not true, and therefore the point is strange at least.* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. * Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 Next Page 2 of 3 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
