SkyDekker 1,465 #1 February 7, 2007 Some of these are kind of funny, something for everybody.... HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029 Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped. Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon ). Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica. Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17 .89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036. Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts. IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #2 February 7, 2007 Noice!!! QuoteMassachusetts executes last remaining conservative. I guess this means I won't live past 2029...unless I move. Chris _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
narcimund 0 #3 February 7, 2007 Oh, the whining. The WHINING! First Class Citizen Twice Over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Buffs303 0 #4 February 7, 2007 " I liiike" This is the best post I have seen thus far. Keep them coming.Swoop and Poop....my favorite things to photograph Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #5 February 7, 2007 QuoteOh, the whining. The WHINING! Shred your US Passport.Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shermanator 4 #6 February 7, 2007 mexifornia.. you mean it is not that already? heehe.CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08 CSA #720 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #7 February 7, 2007 Quotemexifornia.. you mean it is not that already? heehe. Or Mexas? "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
narcimund 0 #8 February 7, 2007 QuoteQuoteOh, the whining. The WHINING! Shred your US Passport. Your vitriol amuses me. First Class Citizen Twice Over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dorbie 0 #9 February 7, 2007 QuoteQuoteQuoteOh, the whining. The WHINING! Shred your US Passport. Your vitriol amuses me. You arriving in America to bitch that it's not to your liking despite the shithole you left amuses me. A lot of places wouldn't be shitholes if people got off their duff and made them better instead of bitching constantly about unrealized fantasies. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
narcimund 0 #10 February 7, 2007 QuoteYou arriving in America to bitch that it's not to your liking despite the shithole you left amuses me. A lot of places wouldn't be shitholes if people got off their duff and made them better instead of bitching constantly about unrealized fantasies. Facts are important and should be checked before drawing conclusions. First Class Citizen Twice Over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #11 February 7, 2007 QuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteOh, the whining. The WHINING! Shred your US Passport. Your vitriol amuses me. You arriving in America to bitch that it's not to your liking despite the shithole you left amuses me. A lot of places wouldn't be shitholes if people got off their duff and made them better instead of bitching constantly about unrealized fantasies. Just drop it. It's not worth it.Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
narcimund 0 #12 February 7, 2007 QuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteOh, the whining. The WHINING! Shred your US Passport. Your vitriol amuses me. You arriving in America to bitch that it's not to your liking despite the shithole you left amuses me. A lot of places wouldn't be shitholes if people got off their duff and made them better instead of bitching constantly about unrealized fantasies. Just drop it. It's not worth it. No no no! I want to hear more from Dorbie about this. It's very educational. I especially want to hear his opinions on the shithole I left before I came to america to start my new life.* * Everyone, just smile and nod. This will be amusing. First Class Citizen Twice Over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #13 February 7, 2007 QuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteQuoteOh, the whining. The WHINING! Shred your US Passport. Your vitriol amuses me. You arriving in America to bitch that it's not to your liking despite the shithole you left amuses me. A lot of places wouldn't be shitholes if people got off their duff and made them better instead of bitching constantly about unrealized fantasies. Just drop it. It's not worth it. No no no! I want to hear more from Dorbie about this. It's very educational. I especially want to hear his opinions on the shithole I left before I came to america to start my new life.* * Everyone, just smile and nod. This will be amusing. No one cares that you left the US for Canada because of personal/business reasons unbeknownst to most, except for you getting angry at the USA not recognizing your Void-at-the-start marriage license. But please, get over yourself already.Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
narcimund 0 #14 February 7, 2007 QuoteNo one cares that you left the US for Canada because of personal/business reasons unbeknownst to most, except for you getting angry at the USA not recognizing your Void-at-the-start marriage license. I don't know about that. You seem to care a LOT. You snipe at me repeatedly. I take that as a very strong caring. Even if you deny it -- even to yourself! -- the rest of us see it clearly. First Class Citizen Twice Over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dorbie 0 #15 February 7, 2007 Quote No one cares that you left the US for Canada because of personal/business reasons unbeknownst to most, except for you getting angry at the USA not recognizing your Void-at-the-start marriage license. But please, get over yourself already. Oh come on even I appreciate the irony of that one. I didn't realize he was in a shithole bitching from across the border. It explains the self-loathing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #16 February 7, 2007 QuoteQuoteNo one cares that you left the US for Canada because of personal/business reasons unbeknownst to most, except for you getting angry at the USA not recognizing your Void-at-the-start marriage license. I don't know about that. You seem to care a LOT. You snipe at me repeatedly. I take that as a very strong caring. Even if you deny it -- even to yourself! -- the rest of us see it clearly. Care? No. Irritated at the incessant sniping at my country and the equally incessant whining? Yes.Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
narcimund 0 #17 February 7, 2007 QuoteCare? No. Irritated at the incessant sniping at my country and the equally incessant whining? Yes. By the way, I think your WHINING about being irritated by me and the WHINING in the original post are really funny. Keep it up, man. Keep it up. First Class Citizen Twice Over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
narcimund 0 #18 February 7, 2007 QuoteI didn't realize he was in a shithole bitching from across the border. It explains the self-loathing. Vancouver BC? Shithole??? Excuse me though. I'd love to write more but I'm about to go on a ten mile walk along the seawall in Stanley Park. Afterwards I think I'll have some fresh sushi before returning to my 2000 square foot loft. Either that or grilled buffalo steaks and a bottle of burgundy from my 500 bottle collection will be nice. Tomorrow I'm heading up the Sea to Sky highway along the ocean to visit a client in Whistler and do a little skiing. Otherwise I'd hang out here and listen to you tell me about how shitty things are here. Yeah, it's a shithole alright. *loathe* *loathe* Hahaha! First Class Citizen Twice Over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #19 February 8, 2007 QuoteNo one cares that you left the US for Canada because of personal/business reasons unbeknownst to most, except for you getting angry at the USA not recognizing your Void-at-the-start marriage license. Incorrect. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
willard 0 #20 February 8, 2007 Welcome to SC, where even the funny papers lead to insults and feverish exchanges. Anybody want some popcorn? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gene03 0 #21 February 8, 2007 Thanks. Oh and grab me a beer while your up.“The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him. Stanislaw Jerzy Lec quotes (Polish writer, poet and satirist 1906-1966) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yourmomma 0 #22 February 8, 2007 Dude! Your gay. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
narcimund 0 #23 February 8, 2007 QuoteDude! Your gay. I am? Huh?? Oh wait ... hmmm... oh my god, you're right! I can't wait to tell my mom. And my husband too. Shit, won't he be surprised!?! First Class Citizen Twice Over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
