bigtexan 0 #101 March 1, 2007 Quote Are you saying you would be fine with your daughter being the neighborhood slut? And that this would somehow benefit your daughter? your equating being a slut with using birthcontrol, having sex etc... I want my daughters (note plural) to grow up with a healthy and happy sex life - not a tormented guilt ridden view of sex .. I cannot help but to think you have the latter. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NCclimber 0 #102 March 1, 2007 Are you familiar with the concept of projection? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #103 March 1, 2007 I'd sooner my daughter have a bad reputation than a litter of babies at age 16... But some people are more worried about what others will think when they go to their megachurch on sunday, than their childrens' welfare...Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #104 March 1, 2007 Quote I'd sooner my daughter have a bad reputation than a litter of babies at age 16... I don't think those are your only two options. And those two are collinear anyway, typically - except in medieval times. Or some parts of Utah. ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #105 March 1, 2007 Quote Quote I'd sooner my daughter have a bad reputation than a litter of babies at age 16... I don't think those are your only two options. You cannot with 100% confidence, prevent your daughter from having sex. You can make it difficult, but if she really wants to, she will. So, that being said, bad rep, or babies?Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NCclimber 0 #106 March 1, 2007 Quote I'd sooner my daughter have a bad reputation than a litter of babies at age 16... And then there is the overwhelming majority of teenage girls, who don't get pregnant and have a decent reputation. Why do so many on this board seem to look at this as a simple "either... or" scenario? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #107 March 1, 2007 Quote Quote Quote I'd sooner my daughter have a bad reputation than a litter of babies at age 16... I don't think those are your only two options. You cannot with 100% confidence, prevent your daughter from having sex. You can make it difficult, but if she really wants to, she will. So, that being said, bad rep, or babies? ahhh, "100%" is your confidence factor... Your under the assumption that 100% of kids will have sex before adulthood. Even assuming that, why does birth control result in having a bad reputation? Now, even not considering girls that do abstain, and girls that are on BC that also abstain, you equate pre-marital sex with being a slut? or just taking the pill as equating to sluthood? Wouldn't having 16 kids also result in her having a bad reputation? ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NCclimber 0 #108 March 1, 2007 Quote Quote Quote I'd sooner my daughter have a bad reputation than a litter of babies at age 16... I don't think those are your only two options. You cannot with 100% confidence, prevent your daughter from having sex. Nor can you guarantee, "with 100% confidence", that she will use the condoms you gave her. These absolutes crack me up. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #109 March 1, 2007 Put the kid on BC. If they have sex, no matter how much you dissuade, at least they won't get knocked up. The alternative is much riskier. As far as reputation--It's best to not have a rep. If the rep happens, better just to have the bad rep, than to have a rep and a baby.Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bigtexan 0 #110 March 1, 2007 NC - can you explicitly state your view on this matter - I'm not sure what your saying. what is your view on this matter again? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NCclimber 0 #111 March 1, 2007 Buying your child birth control is tacit approval. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #112 March 1, 2007 Quote Buying your child birth control is tacit approval. Ok, Then please do not seek public aid for any babies of your teenage children. You refuse an ounce of prevention, pay for your own damn pound of cure.Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
georgerussia 0 #113 March 1, 2007 Quote Yeah - I wonder how many teen pregnancies can be attributed to "My parents wouldn't buy me birth control!" I wonder how many teen pregnancies can be attributed to "All I heard about sex from my old fart parents was 'just say no'". It looks like you are more concerned about your own reputation (i.e. your actions) than real decisions made by the children. Quote Just because you think it's okay if your daughters are the neighborhood sluts, that doesn't mean everyone else agrees. I fail to see the connection between having pre-marital sex and being the neighborhood slut. Could you please explain? Quote And yet, so many happily married people have done so. Is it a fact or just your opinion? Quote I'd guess that most people who have married, throughout history, have made their vows before sampling the goods. Are you saying they all are/were morons? A lot of things happened throughout history. While some of them were the best decisions at the time made, making such a decision nowadays does not necessary mean that it is still the best. Fortunately, the society has changed, and women who had pre-marital sex are only reated as sluts by religious nuts, which I definitely do not want my daughter to marry. BTW could you explain what's wrong with pre-marital sex without bringing anything you cannot prove (and this includes all the religious bullsh*t)? Quote You say you know lots of people who decided not to get married because the sex was bad? That's rich. Most of the time people just understood that it was not love; just sexual desire they confused with love.* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. * Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NCclimber 0 #114 March 1, 2007 Quote Quote Buying your child birth control is tacit approval. Ok, Then please do not seek public aid for any babies of your teenage children. You refuse an ounce of prevention, pay for your own damn pound of cure. I thought this thread was about buying your child birth control, not giving your child government funded birth control. Also, you seem to be saying any parent that doesn't give their daughter birth control will soon have an unplanned grandchild. I wonder how we avoided such situations, before parents bought their daughters birth control. It's amazing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #115 March 1, 2007 I did not mention govt-paid for BC. Just don't go for public funds if your kid squeezes one out because you wouldn't give them BC.Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NCclimber 0 #116 March 1, 2007 Quote I did not mention govt-paid for BC. Just don't go for public funds if your kid squeezes one out because you wouldn't give them BC. What are you implying? that any unmarried teen who has a child is automatically a welfare recipient? No stereotyping there. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #117 March 1, 2007 Quote Quote I did not mention govt-paid for BC. Just don't go for public funds if your kid squeezes one out because you wouldn't give them BC. What are you implying? that any unmarried teen who has a child is automatically a welfare recipient? No stereotyping there. Not stereotyping. I could give less than a shit if some kid squeezes one out in High School, but once they use my tax $$ to raise the little bastard, I have a right to be angry that they didn't use BC when they got knocked up.Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bigtexan 0 #118 March 1, 2007 so you would or would not provide 'your child' with BC..? we know your view on it, but would you do it any way? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
georgerussia 0 #119 March 1, 2007 Quote Your under the assumption that 100% of kids will have sex before adulthood. No, but the good chance is still there. Note that "having sex once" is still having sex. Your chance of requiring AAD to save you are much lower, but still almost everyone who can afford it jumps with it. Because when shit happens you definitely do not want to belong to this statistical 0.1%. Quote Even assuming that, why does birth control result in having a bad reputation? Who gave them bad reputation? Catholic church? Quote Now, even not considering girls that do abstain, and girls that are on BC that also abstain, you equate pre-marital sex with being a slut? I'd also ask what "being a slut" is, because for someone having two partners in a year, or even using a vibrator is enough to label person a "slut".* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. * Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,076 #120 March 2, 2007 >Are you saying you would be fine with your daughter being the >neighborhood slut? And that this would somehow benefit your daughter? Personally I don't care what other people think. I do care that my kids make good decisions and that they are able to stand up for what they want in the face of other people calling them sluts, nerds, jerks, squares, homos etc. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiva1998 0 #121 March 2, 2007 It's funny how your children remember things a bit differently than how they actually happened... ------------------------- My mother and I had a great relationship growing up, and she always made me feel that I could come to her about anything, even sex. She taught me about pregnancy and STD's and how to be safe and use condoms and birth control pills. -------------------------- Yes, we had a great relationship (although rocky at times during those rough teen years), and I did talk to her about sex and being safe, but mostly the responsibility that comes along with having sex - birth control pills were never in my vocabulary. -------------------------- And when I was a teenager she told me that when I was ready to have sex I could tell her, and she would make sure I was on the pill and had condoms and everything. -------------------------- Again, the pill was never in my vocabulary. -------------------------- Then a couple years later I got a boyfriend, and there was no way in hell I was going to tell her I was going to have sex with him. I just couldn't do it. So we finally did have sex, and used a condom, but I wasnt on the pill. And when my mom finally asked me if we had been having sex and I told her, she FREAKED OUT. I told her we use condoms and her reply was "That's all you're using???" So I suggested she take me to get on the pill. And she said, "there is no way in hell I am putting you on the pill and encouraging this kind of behavior" and I was like, what? you just complained that all we used were condoms, but yet you wont take me to get on the pill?? I am already having sex. How does that make sense? I was able to get on the pill with out her consent anyways, so it didnt matter, but it was really messed up. --------------------------- Was I happy that my 16 year old daughter was having sex (especially with a boy who had a whole other set of problems), absolutely not! But I wouldn't use the words "freaked out", more like "concerned" and "worried". did I tell my daughter that I would not take her to get on the pill, absolutely! I did not condone the fact that she was having sex, nor was I going to do something that would make it easy for her to continue to have sex. What I did provide her with, should she "make the choice" to continue to have sex, was an alternative form of birth control - a box of condoms and a box of Encare contraceptive inserts. Whether or not she used them was her choice. Most importantly, I provided my daughter with a message that having sex is a personal choice, and when you make that choice, it is your (and only your) personal responsiblity to make sure that you are protected against pregnancy and std's, as well as being ready for the emotional effects that go along with it. Having Mom take you to get on "the pill" (in my opinion) is a cop-out. It's putting the "choice" on Mom, and relieving the daughter of the responsibility. "Mom put me on the pill, so it must be ok for me to have sex now." And the minute something negative happens, it's Mom's fault - she's the one who put me on the pill in the first place. We can't hold our children's hand through life. We teach them responsibility, respect, and right from wrong. We can only hope that when it comes time for them to make a choice (especially with something as important as sex), they make the right choice for themselves. And to my daughter, I say - let's have this conversation again when you have your own teenage daughter. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
quade 4 #122 March 3, 2007 Quote Is buying your child birth control supporting/encouraging sex? I know that a lot of analogies have already been used in this thread; some are valid some are a little far fetched. Here's mine; Q: Is buying your child birth control supporting/encouraging sex? A: No more so than buying a reserve parachute would encourage them to have cutaway. If a person is predisposed to perform an activity (and let's be realistic here if you're talking about young adults and their hormones), then to me it only makes sense to encourage them to be as safe as reasonably possible, because sooner or later, like it or not, they're going to perform the activity.quade - The World's Most Boring Skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sundevil777 102 #123 March 3, 2007 This is perhaps the most crappy analogy riddled thread ever. Analogies aren't needed, and aren't useful for this subject. Analogies should be reserved for subjects that are hard to understand because of a technological complexity or something like that. I think giving a child birth control explicitly lets the kids know you have lowered your expectations, assuming you expect them to not have sex. That doesn't mean that giving it to them isn't the right thing to do, but parents should realize what message the kids will take from it.People are sick and tired of being told that ordinary and decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I’m certainly not, and I’m sick and tired of being told that I am Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
georgerussia 0 #124 March 3, 2007 Quote I think giving a child birth control explicitly lets the kids know you have lowered your expectations, assuming you expect them to not have sex. Then it again depends on assumption. What if you do expect them to have sex (and I'd say it is a reasonable expectation), and just want it to be safe?* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. * Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sundevil777 102 #125 March 3, 2007 Quote Quote I think giving a child birth control explicitly lets the kids know you have lowered your expectations, assuming you expect them to not have sex. Then it again depends on assumption. What if you do expect them to have sex (and I'd say it is a reasonable expectation), and just want it to be safe? If you let the kid know you expect them to have sex, then this thread has no meaning. I had expected that a parent would not admit that to their kid.People are sick and tired of being told that ordinary and decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I’m certainly not, and I’m sick and tired of being told that I am Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
