Massachusetts: Ban Spanking?

[Shotgun 1]

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years ago when I was living in Boston, I was driving down this street in Allston. A fat lady was walking on the sidewalk with her little boy, about 4 or 5 years old. The boy suddenly ran out into the street in front of my car. I had plenty of room to stop, so it wasn't SO scary, but it was a little.

Anyway, his mama hauled him back up onto the sidewalk & whupped his little behind while scolding him. The boy started crying, but I would not call that abuse. She didn't BEAT him. It was just a normal spanking.

And hopefully it will keep the kid from running out into traffic again.

Well, you'll probably never know whether that was the first or the last time that the kid ran out into a street.

It sounds like the lady and the kid were really lucky that the kid didn't get "punished" by being run over by a car.

[akarunway 1]

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Like I said,
Fine line, and nobody really knows where the line is, and it's a matter of opinion. But, make a law and all the officers discretion is taken away.
Domestic violence is a perfect example. In many states if the cops show up and suspect domestic violence then someone (useally the male) is going to jail. That sucks.

A law would also make every do-gooder, busy-body that thinks spanking is wrong call the cops at the drop of a hat. I've had these people call when they see a kid spanked in a store or in public.

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Wonder why kids are so fucked up nowadays? NO DISIPLINE.

Geez, ya think I agree, but again smacking the shit out of your kid (not talking about you, just in general) isn't really discipline.

Yeah. Well I've I had our conversations of "I KNOW EVERTHING. I told em "leave home while you know EVERYTHING" Kinda like 100 jump wonders eh? "Come back when you figure you know NOTHING"

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[akarunway 1]

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Like I said,
Fine line, and nobody really knows where the line is, and it's a matter of opinion. But, make a law and all the officers discretion is taken away.
Domestic violence is a perfect example. In many states if the cops show up and suspect domestic violence then someone (useally the male) is going to jail. That sucks.

A law would also make every do-gooder, busy-body that thinks spanking is wrong call the cops at the drop of a hat. I've had these people call when they see a kid spanked in a store or in public.

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Wonder why kids are so fucked up nowadays? NO DISIPLINE.

Geez, ya think I agree, but again smacking the shit out of your kid (not talking about you, just in general) isn't really discipline.

Donno. My dad an ex full bird Col in the USAF smacked the fuck outta me (a couple times) too. I sure didn't do whatever I had done again.

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

[skycop 0]

Notice I said really, not isn't. Depends on the situation, teenage boys that decide to physically test dad could fall into that catagory.
That normally only happens once

"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"

[kelpdiver 2]

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years ago when I was living in Boston, I was driving down this street in Allston. A fat lady was walking on the sidewalk with her little boy, about 4 or 5 years old. The boy suddenly ran out into the street in front of my car. I had plenty of room to stop, so it wasn't SO scary, but it was a little.

Anyway, his mama hauled him back up onto the sidewalk & whupped his little behind while scolding him. The boy started crying, but I would not call that abuse. She didn't BEAT him. It was just a normal spanking.

And hopefully it will keep the kid from running out into traffic again.

Well, you'll probably never know whether that was the first or the last time that the kid ran out into a street.

It's been long proven on people and animals that negative associations (if I do this, I will get hurt) lead us to stop doing that.

Not getting spanked (merely yelling at the kid some more) is going to be less effective than getting spanked.

[Amazon 7]

Yeah but you LIKE spankings

[billvon 3,079]

>My dad an ex full bird Col in the USAF smacked the fuck outta me
>(a couple times) too. I sure didn't do whatever I had done again.

Cutting a kid's finger off, or blinding him in one eye, would likely work even better (be a constant reminder.) Doesn't mean it's a good idea.

[kelpdiver 2]

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>My dad an ex full bird Col in the USAF smacked the fuck outta me
>(a couple times) too. I sure didn't do whatever I had done again.

Cutting a kid's finger off, or blinding him in one eye, would likely work even better (be a constant reminder.) Doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Permament damage encourages retaliation of the late night 12ga variety. As whiny as they are, kids still have a sense of fair levels of punishment.

[Andy9o8 2]

72.4% of Americans who favor corporal punishment of children do not have children of their own, or drive pickup trucks, or both. OK, I just made that number up.

Anyhow, the Missus & me managed to raise 2 well-mannered, ambitious kids into their late teens with attentive, frequently strict, discipline and guidance, but without ever using corporal punishment. If that makes us the exception to the rule, well, then, it does. But it is, for what it's worth, one family's story that it can be done.

[skycop 0]

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Anyhow, the Missus & me managed to raise 2 well-mannered, ambitious kids into their late teens with attentive, frequently strict, discipline and guidance

That makes you a good parent, with or without corporal punishment. Hard to do whatever your beliefs are. Take pride!

"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"

[jm951 0]

If they banned it, what's Barney Frank to do for entertainment in his bedroom?



More seriously, I've found that all kids have different personalities (duh!). What works on one kid for discipline isn't necessarily effective on another. On my three, the oldest was fairly normal, maybe two spankings total. My second, a hardened criminal, impervious to all forms of corporal punishment, video game deprivation was much more effective. On my third, no spankings were ever needed, she was quite the daddy's girl and all it took was a stern lecture.

What I'm saying is that a total ban is an dumb idea, but at the same time, spankings don't always work. You have to be on your parenting toes to figure the game out.

[skycop 0]

Yep,
I've got one in college, one in high school, and one in pre-school, yep, I'm a dumbass........

One spanked maybe twice, the other maybe 4-5 times, he's a hard head just like his dad. The little one had gotten some love taps, maybe only one good one.

"Just 'cause I'm simple, don't mean I'm stewpid!"

[jm951 0]

Empty nest here. The youngest two are still in their "what the heck do parents know" stage. The oldest is starting to realize the old guys may be a bit further up the curve than he thought. Reality baths can be quite the experience.

[2fat2fly 0]

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I dont htink kids shuold be spanked anywhere else but there butt.

When i reached for the hot stove as a small child I got my hand popped. When I lied to my parents as an older child I got my rear end worn out. When I bowed up at my mom as a 12 0r 13 year-old, Dad jacked my jaw. Age appropriate and effective.

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[CornishChris 5]

I was spanked maybe 4/5 times - open hand to back of leg. Never did me any harm and I never did whatever it was again, I think.

I have always been in favour of spanking as a last resort - have one kid and one en route but a little young to hit. I heard a radio interview last week on the subject and the anti spanking person made a surprisingly good point. In the UK it is legal to spank your child which means that they are the only members of society that can be legally hit. Doesn't seem fair does it?

CJP

Gods don't kill people. People with Gods kill people

[2fat2fly 0]

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In the UK it is legal to spank your child which means that they are the only members of society that can be legally hit. Doesn't seem fair does it?

No, there's probably a lot more people that it should be legal to hit

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[crozby 0]

I voted 'Bad idea' because I'm sick of the state getting involved in things that don't concern them.

However I think the distinctions presented here between spanking and hitting are bullshit.

No matter how cutsie one dresses it up by using words like spanking, batting, etc it is basically inflicting physical pain on your child by hitting them.

I would bet money that the same people here who consider hitting their children to be ok would not be supportive of middle-eastern cultures where it is acceptable to 'spank' ones wife.

The stupidest double standard I've witnessed is a parent hitting their child because he hit one of his friends.

If parents feel the need to resort to physical violence towards their children in an effort to teach them something then thats their right, but I don't do it and I suggest those that do have a little more imagination - there is always another non-violent approach available to them which will acheive the same or better results.

And finally, to those of you who mock 'time-out': try it - i don't know why it works, but administered properly it genuinely does.

[2fat2fly 0]

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I would bet money that the same people here who consider hitting their children to be ok would not be supportive of middle-eastern cultures where it is acceptable to 'spank' ones wife.

Apple, orange...Orange, apple-now that you've been introduced, lets not the differences. Using appropriate corporal punishment on a child is not the same as swatting an adult-heck, spankings aren't effective on older children either. Past a certain maturity level, it just doesn't work. The problem with a lot of alternative punishments is that they depend on reasoning skills that are beyond a small child's developmental stage. After 3 minutes of time out-the child may have very well forgotten the original issue.

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[JohnRich 4]

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>My dad an ex full bird Col in the USAF smacked the fuck outta me
>(a couple times) too. I sure didn't do whatever I had done again.

Cutting a kid's finger off, or blinding him in one eye, would likely work even better (be a constant reminder.) Doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Are you really trying to suggest that spanking is the equivalent of maiming and mutilation?

[Shotgun 1]

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>My dad an ex full bird Col in the USAF smacked the fuck outta me
>(a couple times) too. I sure didn't do whatever I had done again.

Cutting a kid's finger off, or blinding him in one eye, would likely work even better (be a constant reminder.) Doesn't mean it's a good idea.

Are you really trying to suggest that spanking is the equivalent of maiming and mutilation?

I think he's exaggerating, but trying to point out that while "smacking the fuck outta" a kid may change their behavior, it's not necessarily a good idea.

And I'm guessing that it's people who think "smacking the fuck outta" a kid is a good idea, and that it equates to "spanking," they are likely the reason that a ban on spanking is even being considered.

[billvon 3,079]

>Are you really trying to suggest that spanking is the equivalent of
>maiming and mutilation?

Nope. Are you suggesting it's OK to "smack the fuck" out of kids?

[wmw999 2,548]

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When i reached for the hot stove as a small child I got my hand popped

When I did something like that as a smaller child, my parents turned the stove on to a hot-but-not-dangerous temperature (parent-tested), and let me touch it. Natural consequences.

I used to work as a child abuse investigator. The defining line was whether it left marks that were still there when I showed up (welts, bruises, burns, etc). But in general, using objects to hit your children shows that it's your intent to inflict pain, and not just to surprise them and shock them into paying attention.

If they're old enough that surprise and shock aren't enough, then a more natural consequence might help them learn the lesson instead. It takes more thought than a swat, but kids are smart, and can figure things out.

If the parent is always the instrument of punishment, then they can learn that all they have to do is fool/beat the parent. If it turns out that physics, society, school and nature are all included, then they have to think about it a little more.

As a child, I was swatted a few times; I swatted my son a few times (one swat each time). I seem to have turned out just fine without severe discipline.

Probably would have without the swatting too. But kids generally do what their parents did. Because nearly everyone thinks they "turned out just fine."

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[Zipp0 1]

If I'm vacationing in Boston, can I still spank my wife if she has been a bad girl?

--------------------------
Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups, he pushes the Earth down.

[Lucky... 0]

He, kids are for beating, right? If my wife/GF bears a child, I have the inherent right to beat the shit out of him/her.

Let's see, child exhibits bd behavior, beat him, teach him that that is the way to curb bad behavior; bet it out.

BRILLIANT

[Andy9o8 2]

Speaking purely clinically, and not judgmentally, the simple fact is that corporal punishment is a form of physical violence and is done to inflict some degree of physical pain. Generally speaking, most acts of corporal punishment considered permissible if done to a juvenile would be deemed to be criminal assault if done to an adult.