Non-competitive activities for children.

[Darius11 12]

After a long talk with a friend who has children this thought came to my head.

All of the parents I have talked with in regards to the fazing out of all competitive sports and activates in schools for young children feel the same way. They all agree that we need to keep score, we need to have winners and losers, as we must teach our young how the real world operates so when they are adults they can survive.

We all agree that we are all not the same and some have gifts that others don’t, we all have different strengths and weaknesses. School is one way of finding out what your strengths and weaknesses are. If you suck at football then you suck at football. You have to find something else about your self that you feel good about, or here is a new idea work hard and get good at football.


Sorry for the long ramble but here is the question. If all the parents I have talked to feel the same way the majority of parents must feel the same. So why is this being done?
This is the gradual retardation of our youth which will be adults before you know it.

The last time I checked in real life the more pampered and sheltered you keep your children the easier they fail at the slightest things that didn’t go there way.

So why are we letting this happen?

How do you feel about it?

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[ExAFO 0]

Life is competition. Get used to it.

The trick is finding the kind of race you excel in and sticking to that one.

Lebron James didn't try out for the NHL...

Wayne Gretzky didn't try out for the NFL...

Find your niche.

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[Royd 0]

You know what's ironic? Those who push this mamby pamby, no winners, no losers mentality, wind up in positions of authority over the children.

You've got to wonder, how many of them got tagged out on the first go around.

[Andrewwhyte 1]

Give Lebron a pair of skates and he is in the NHL in 2 years.

[ExAFO 0]

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Give Lebron a pair of skates and he is in the NHL in 2 years.

Is Lebron the next victim of those lameass "Chuck Norris"-isms?

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[CanuckInUSA 0]

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Life is competition. Get used to it.

Lebron James didn't try out for the NHL...

Wayne Gretzky didn't try out for the NFL...

Find your niche.

But that didn't stop Michael Jordon from thinking he was a baseball player.

PS: The notion of non-competitive activities for children is a joke. The sooner people learn how to handle the highs of winning and the lows of losing, the sooner they will be able to handle all the curve balls life throws at us.

"You can't always get what you what. But if you try some time, you might just find, you get what you need" - The Rolling Stones

Try not to worry about the things you have no control over

[KelliJ 0]

I can't help but think of the hypocrisy of the situation. Those who make the decisions to do away with winner-loser competitions got into the position to make that decision though the natural process of winner-loser competition. They weren't just plucked off the turnip truck and given their job. (Ok, maybe some were, but you get my drift.)

[billvon 3,008]

>How do you feel about it?

Let kids do what they want. Do they want to compete with other kids? Fine. Do they want to learn to play a guitar? Fine. Do they want to build stuff? Fine. All of those things - whether competitive or not - are better than sitting in front of a TV.

There is no inherent value in competition that you can't get in a dozen other ways. It should not be pushed OR discouraged, just offered as a choice.

[rushmc 23]

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>How do you feel about it?

Let kids do what they want. Do they want to compete with other kids? Fine. Do they want to learn to play a guitar? Fine. Do they want to build stuff? Fine. All of those things - whether competitive or not - are better than sitting in front of a TV.

There is no inherent value in competition that you can't get in a dozen other ways. It should not be pushed OR discouraged, just offered as a choice.

I almost completly agree but, I do think there is value being involved in some kind of competion. Winning and loosing are lessons best learned early and winning and loosing are the only ways to fully understand it but, I also agree that one should not push a child into something.

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[Andrewwhyte 1]

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But that didn't stop Michael Jordon from thinking he was a baseball player.

Actually Michael Jordan was a professional baseball player; he just wasn't good enough to make it past double A. Considering he was over 30 when he started it is a testament to his athletic prowess that he was better than almost everyone else. The overwhelming majority of professional baseball players never get past double A; most don't get past single A.
I think it is safe to say that if he had pursued baseball with all his heart after high school he would have progressed further than he did by taking more than a decade off the sport to play basketball.

[CanuckInUSA 0]

Without a doubt Michael Jordan was an elite athlete (arguably the best ever basketball player) and I'm sure he would have done better in baseball had he concentrated on the sport from the get go. Not that I would know, but it has been described that batting at the MLB level is one of the hardest things to do in sports. These guys are considered heros when they "only" fail at 7 out of every 10 attempts at bat. Too bad baseball is such a slow sport when the ball is not in play, because it is a pretty cool sport when the ball is in play. Plus as much as many people didn't like Deion Sanders, you have to acknowledge his ability to play in the elite levels of the NFL as a star and then play at the elite levels of MLB the next day (Bo Jackson was another one who did played both sports at such a high level).

Anyway I am off track ...

Like others have said, the children should not be pushed into competitive activities. But to deny them access "because it's politically correct to not let them experience the agnoy of defeat" will only turn us into a society of dysfunctional lemmings willing to be controlled by others. One must learn to deal with winning and losing since life has no shortage of winning and losing.

Try not to worry about the things you have no control over

[Shawndiver 0]

Two sides to this in my opinion. If the kids are only allowed to pursue passive options, sure makes the adminstrators job a whole lot easier, and they can crow about how new age and touchy feely good they are in making the children non aggresive and feel good. Until they get to the real world of course...

I would also bet that a good percentage of those parents who say they want their kids to be in competition and active play would not hesitate to slap a massive lawsuit on the school district the first time Chucky or Susie comes home with a chipped tooth. So perhaps the administrators who set these policies are simply looking out for their jobs, not what they actually feel is "best for the children". Plenty of blame on both sides!

_________________

[shropshire 0]

...but forceing them to be competitive is also wrong. Guide them to find their own path.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[kelpdiver 2]

Most players take years in the minors, so if the millionaire Jordan really really wanted it, might have made it. Maybe he just needed a challenge.

For kids keeping score isn't just about competition, but also needing some measure of performance. Where the competition aspect benefits most is giving experience with risk taking - changing your strategy and risk tolerance when you're behind.

[nerdgirl 0]

"Competitive activities" ... does that mean academic performance or does that mean 'field day" & athletics?

My speculation is that performance in the latter two may be valued too much and in the former, valued too little.
Maybe academic performance by children should be treated more like competitive athletics?

VR/Marg

Act as if everything you do matters, while laughing at yourself for thinking anything you do matters.
Tibetan Buddhist saying

[lawrocket 3]

The reason it is being done is because too many believe that it detrimentally affect the self-esteem of kids if they get defeated. A kid may have his or her feelings hurt by a loss.

Of course, there is no reward for doing things well, either. There is no recognition that getting beaten is a part of life, and that the effort made, even in defeat, is effort made.

We are all imperfect and will fail from time to time. It is the fear of subjecting the kids to failure.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Darius11 12]

It looks like most agree actively removing any competition is not a great idea.

So why is this happening? And why are parents allowing it to happen (assuming they have a way to stop it)?



Maybe I am a bit paranoid but I think this is something we should worry about. For one most kids are getting thought in a method that according to my experience (and here on line) most parents do not agree with.
Two what are these kids going to be like as adults. I know a few they seem so fragile.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[lawrocket 3]

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For kids keeping score isn't just about competition, but also needing some measure of performance.

Exactly. For a kid, making that assist for a goal is important. For that goalie, blocking that shot hurt! And it hurts far less when they know that it meant something for the team - a success.

Take out the incentive to do well, and it is up to them to figure out that there is some benefit to being the hamster on the wheel.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Darius11 12]

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I would also bet that a good percentage of those parents who say they want their kids to be in competition and active play would not hesitate to slap a massive lawsuit on the school district the first time Chucky or Susie comes home with a chipped tooth. So perhaps the administrators who set these policies are simply looking out for their jobs, not what they actually feel is "best for the children". Plenty of blame on both sides!

Good point i ddin't even think about that.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[lawrocket 3]

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So why is this happening?

Because there are some problems with competition. Too many kids - AND TOO MANY PARENTS - view winning as the most important thing. Too many kids, if defeated, are having problems coping. Too many parents are showing hostility toward losses.

This problem is being addressed by "take the competition out of it and we won't have that problem anymore." Much the same as a flood will cure the problems of a drought - no. It just creates a different problem.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Darius11 12]

That’s what the teacher had told my friend it is about self-esteem.
IMHO if you keep the children in a bubble so they have no tools or experience dealing with failure they will have a catastrophic failure when they join the real world. We all fail at something sometime

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[skydyvr 0]

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So why is this happening? And why are parents allowing it to happen (assuming they have a way to stop it)?

As Kallend would point out, those decisions are made by school boards that parents vote in. So it's the parent's own damn fault.

For some reason, education attracts more from the left than the right. Not sure why, but in any case, schools that eliminate competition are run by liberals so far left, they're off the map. Their goals obviously don't match the views of the very folks who vote them in.

. . =(_8^(1)

[lawrocket 3]

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I would also bet that a good percentage of those parents who say they want their kids to be in competition and active play would not hesitate to slap a massive lawsuit on the school district the first time Chucky or Susie comes home with a chipped tooth.

Most places, like California, provide protections against lawsuits like this. There are inherent risks associated with most sports. A kid who breaks a nose in soccer? Yeah, that happens and there will be no liability.

This is a sociological experiment, above all.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[AWL71 0]

The PC attitude in public schools is so counter-productive. I have three kids in elementary school and you can't have winners and losers because someone might get their feelings hurt. Oh no! For example, you are not allowed to have winners and losers in field day but everyone gets a "participation" ribbon.

The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

[nigel99 504]

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..but forcing them to be competitive is also wrong. Guide them to find their own path.

I disagree with this if you mean forcing them to compete is wrong.

The problem is that of balance. In general most of us are good at something. Our daughter is extremely bright and realises that she is way ahead of most of her peers - as a result she struggles with arrogance. If there were more competitive sports she could then realise that she is non-athletic and the class dunce whips her ass at sport. We see the same thing in other bright "nerds" and the sport would help knock them down a peg or two. Similarly a child who struggles academically could get a boost of self esteem from doing well at sport.

Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived.