US Government justifies spying on Santa Claus.

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PETERSON AIR FORCE BASE, Colo. — The North American Aerospace Defense Command is again getting ready to track Santa! On Dec. 1, the NORAD Tracks Santa (NTS) Web site, www.noradsanta.org will go live.

On Dec. 24, Christmas Eve, NORAD will begin tracking Santa Claus' journey via live video feeds that begin at the following times:
• 3 a.m. Pacific Standard Time
• 4 a.m. Mountain Standard Time
• 5 a.m. Central Standard Time
• 6 a.m. Eastern Standard Time
• 11 a.m. Greenwich Mean Time

The combination of spy satellites, ground radar stations and high speed fighter aircraft will allow the US Government and other interested parties to get up-to-the-minute reports and streaming videos from key stops on Santa's trip around the world. Google software will output live images from NORAD's high-speed digital “Santa Cams," and Google Maps and Google Earth will follow Santa as he travels around the world.

The activities of the North American aerospace Defense Command first came to public notice on Dec. 24, 1955, after an errant phone call was made to the Continental Air Defense Command (CONAD) Operations Center in Colorado Springs, Colo. The call was from a local youngster who dialloed a misprinted telephone number in a local newspaper advertisement. The commander who answered the phone that night gave the youngster the information requested – the current whereabouts of Santa Claus.

A State Department spokesperson has defended using the entire resources of NORAD in this way stating; “It is well established that an individual, sometimes known as ‘Mr. Kringle’ controls a very effective intelligence organisation largely dedicated to establishing who is naughty and who is nice. As such, his activities, particularly which world leaders he does and does not visit on the night in question, is a very important tool of statecraft and has been relied on to a greater or lesser extent by a number of US Presidents.”

Suggestions that during the 1980’s, President Reagan only agreed to meet Mikhail Gorbachev after being shown satellite photographs of Santa stopping at the Kremlin have never been confirmed. Similarly, it is possible that imagery of Santa flying straight past Baghdad in earlier years may have been faked.


Further defending the massive cost of this operation, the State Department Spokesperson said; “This represents excellent value for the US Citizen’s Tax-Dollar.” Muttering; “A lot better value than the other shit the military’s been doing”.

Further information may be obtained from http://www.norad.mil


This is a must for kids of all ages.

Mike.

Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.

Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

[kallend 2,108]

I think anyone that spies on Santa deserves to get coal in their stocking.

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

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I think anyone that spies on Santa deserves to get coal in their stocking.

Maybe. But it's a small price to pay to know for certain if Santa stops off at The Tehran Presidential Palace (& other places of interest).

Mike.

Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable.

Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode.

[Skyrad 0]

LOL... He might end up getting his rolly polly backside Rendered if he does i can just see him in a orange jumpsuit.

When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

[shropshire 0]

But ... but ... Santa only likes Mincespies

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[riddler 0]

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I think anyone that spies on Santa deserves to get coal in their stocking.

Definitely worth it. With today's sat-tech, combined with the height that Santa must fly, I'll bet they can get a good pic of his Plumber's Crack.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD