vortexring 0 #1 January 25, 2009 Happy Burns night - here's one I like: Fareweel to a' our Scottish fame, Fareweel our ancient glory! Fareweel e'en to the Scottish name. So famed in martial story! Now Sark rins to the Solway sands, And Tweed rins to the ocean, To mark where England's province stands- Such a parcel o' rogues in a nation! What force or guile could not subdue Thro' many warlike ages, Is wrought now by a coward few For hireling traitor's wages. The English steel we could disdain, Secure in valour's station; But English gold has been our bane- Such a parcel o' rogues in a nation! O would ere I had seen the day That treason thus could sell us, My auld grey heid had lien in clay Wi' Bruce and loyal Wallace! But pith and power, till my last hour I'll mak' this declaration:- We're bought and sold for English gold- Such a parcel o' rogues in a nation! Robert Burns (1759-1796) 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryzflies 0 #2 January 26, 2009 The Reels o Bogie by Robert Burns You lads an lasses a’ that dwell In the toun o Strathbogie, Whene’er you meet a pretty lass, Be shuir you tip her coggie. The lads an lasses toy an kiss, The lads ne’er think it is amiss To bang the holes whereout they piss, An that’s the reels o Bogie. There’s Kent, an Keen, an Aiberdeen, An the toun o Strathbogie, Where every lad mey have his lass, Nou that I’ve got my coggie. They spreid wide their snaw-white thies An rowe aboot their wanton een, An when they see your pintle rise They’ll dance the reels o Bogie. A trooper gaun ower the lea, He swore that he wad steer me, An lang before the brak o day, He giggled, goggled near me. He put a stiff thing in my hand, I could not bear the bangin o’t But lang before he went awa I suppled baith the ends o’t. His pintle was o largest size, Indeed it was a banger, He socht a prize between my thies Till it became a hanger. Haed you but seen the wee bit skin - He haed to put his pintle in, You’d sworn it was a chitterlin Dancin the reels o Bogie. He turned aboot to fire again An gie me t’other sally, An as he fired I ne’er retired But received him in my alley. His pebbles they went thump, thump, Against my little wanton rump, But suin I left him but the stump To dance the reels o Bogie. Said I, young man, mair you can’t dae, I think I’ve granted your desire, By bobbin on my wanton clue, You see your pintle’s a’ on fire. When on my back I work like steel An bar the door wi my left heel, The mair you fuck the less I feel, An that’s the reels o Bogie. The Bonniest Lass The bonniest lass that ye meet neist Gie her a kiss an a’ that, In spite o ilka pairish priest, Repentin stool, an a’ that. For a’ that an a’ that, Their mim-mou’d sangs an a’ that, In time an place convenient, They’ll do’t themsels for a’ that. Your patriarchs in days o yore, Haed their handmaids an a’ that; O bastard gets, some haed a score An some haed mair than a’ that. For a’ that an a’ that, Your langsyne saunts, an a’ that, Were fonder o a bonnie lass, Than you or I, for a’ that. King Davie, when he waxed auld, An’s bluid ran thin, an a’ that, An fand his cods were growin cauld, Could not refrain, for a’ that.If you can't fix it with a hammer, the problem's electrical. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryzflies 0 #3 January 26, 2009 The Fornicator by Robert Burns Ye jovial boys, who love the joys, The blissful joys of lovers, And dare avow wi' dauntless brow, Whate'er the lass discovers; I pray draw near, and you shall hear, And welcome in a frater, I've lately been in quarantine, A proven fornicator. Before the congregation wide I pass'd the muster fairly, My handsome Betsy by my side, We gat our ditty rarely. My downcast eye, by chance did spy What made my mouth to water, Those limbs so clean, where I between, Commenced a fornicator. Wi' ruefu' face, and signs o' grace, I paid the buttock hire; The night was dark, and thro' the park, I couldna but convoy her. A parting kiss, what could I less ; My vows began to scatter, Sweet Betsy fell, fal, lal, de ral, And I'm a fornicator. But by the sun and moon I swear, And I'll fulfill ilk hair o't, That while I own a single crown, She's welcome to a share o't. My roguish boy, his mother's joy, And darling of his pater, I for his sake, the name will take, A hardened fornicator.If you can't fix it with a hammer, the problem's electrical. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jerryzflies 0 #4 January 26, 2009 Nine Inch Will Please a Lady A song by Robert Burns Tune:The Quaker's Wife Come rede me dame, come tell me, dame, My dame come tell me truly, What length o' graith, when weel ca'd hame, Will sair a woman duly? The carlin clew her wanton tail, Her wanton tail sae ready - I learn'd a sang in Annandale, Nine inch will please a lady. But for a koontrie cunt like mine, In sooth, we're nae sae gentle; We'll take tway thumb-bread to the nine, And tha's a sonsy pintle; O leeze me on my Charlie lad, I'll ne'er forget my Charlie! Tway roarin handfu's and a daud, He nidge't it in fu' rarely. But weary fa' the laithron doup And may it ne'er ken thrivin! It's no the length that maks me loup, But it's the double drivin.- Come nidge me, Tam, come nidge me Tam, Come nidge me o'er the nyvel! Come lowse and lug your battering ram, And thrash him at my gyvel!If you can't fix it with a hammer, the problem's electrical. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #5 January 26, 2009 My own favourite is: Should Auld Acquaintance be... Err...Hang On... I'll Remember It... Just Give Me A Minute... Mike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Capt.Slog 0 #6 January 26, 2009 The height of Scottish culture! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vortexring 0 #7 January 26, 2009 I take it you're only into his works that include a sexual theme? That's pretty weird. 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vortexring 0 #8 January 26, 2009 Quote My own favourite is: Should Auld Acquaintance be... Err...Hang On... I'll Remember It... Just Give Me A Minute... Mike. It's every year! Then again, do most realise who originally wrote the piece? 'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Capt.Slog 0 #9 January 27, 2009 Quote I take it you're only into his works that include a sexual theme? That's pretty weird. A lot of people are into sex. You'd be surprised. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
