Using the Bible as a mousepad ...

[Andy9o8 2]

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Using the Bible as a mousepad ...

Amateurs. It's much better as a dartboard.

I'd think a bible would probably also stop a pistol bullet.

I dunno. some drunk friends decided to shoot one of them through a phone book with a 38. It made it through 22 letters; definitely bigger than the bible.

Yea, but the Bible is, well .... you know...

[quade 4]

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Using the Bible as a mousepad ...

Amateurs. It's much better as a dartboard.

I'd think a bible would probably also stop a pistol bullet.

Reminds me of one of my favorite Woody Allen bits.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-RoQ9AXERw

quade -
The World's Most Boring Skydiver

[livendive 8]

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Using the Bible as a mousepad ...

would likely result in carpal tunnel syndrome.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Niki1 1]

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Archaic language has been reformatted, numbers like "cubits" have been replaced with "feet" . . .

Which at least proves God really is on America's side and not the French with their godless metric system.

Amen, Brother Quade! Tell it like it is.
Thanks for the laugh.

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done.
Louis D Brandeis

Where are we going and why are we in this basket?

[jclalor 12]

Top Ten Reasons Why Beer Is Better Than Jesus

10. No one will kill you for not drinking beer.

9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

7. They don't force beer on minors who can't think for themselves.

6. When you have beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.

5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured to death over his brand of beer.

4. You don't have to wait 2,000+ years for a second beer.

3. There are laws saying that beer labels can't lie to you.

2. You can prove you have a beer.

1. If you have devoted your life to beer, there are groups to help you stop.

[tkhayes 348]

I get a kick out of how people say that "this version is better than that version". The fact that is has been translated, retranslated, interpreted, re-written and such and STILL gets called the 'word of God' is nothing short of hilarious.

I don't believe in God for the same reason i don't believe in Santa laus or Mother Goose. Any mortal man's interpretation of the 'word of God' is in itself, WRONG.

[rynodigsmusic 0]

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Any mortal man's interpretation of the 'word of God' is in itself, WRONG.

The interpretations without the actions of goodness are worthless. If you only understood what grace actually is, then you would understand everything, but sadly, even people who do read the bible, go to church, and claim the name of Christ still dont know.

The word of God is the spirit behind the words. You can tell someone you love them 1000 different ways, but if they dont believe it, then no matter how many letters you use, they wont get the spirit behind them.

Translation has been used since the beginning of time in many different ways, not just words and letters. I would'nt use that as a sole discount for the revelation of God in a mans heart.

"We didn't start the fire"

[riddler 0]

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The fact that is has been translated, retranslated, interpreted, re-written and such and STILL gets called the 'word of God' is nothing short of hilarious.

That's what I was originally looking for - I've been comparing the most vile parts of King James to this New Living Translation. I thought for sure that they would tone down the evil parts, like when God says it's OK to sell your daughters to slavery. Or lose the contradictions, like whether God gets tired and rests, or not.

But no, they don't try to change the meaning of the wording at all. Those parts are still in there. But they make the Bible sound less like undecipherable Shakespeare, and more like telling a really boring story. It's actually quite readable.

So I would like to congratulate the scholars that put this translation together. They obviously cared a great deal about their work, they didn't compromise the integrity of the King James version. It was very obviously a labor of love, and so far, I think they did a fantastic job.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[Andrewwhyte 1]

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But no, they don't try to change the meaning of the wording at all. Those parts are still in there. But they make the Bible sound less like undecipherable Shakespeare, and more like telling a really boring story. It's actually quite readable.

So I would like to congratulate the scholars that put this translation together. They obviously cared a great deal about their work, they didn't compromise the integrity of the King James version. It was very obviously a labor of love, and so far, I think they did a fantastic job.

Hopefully they translated the Hebrew texts and not the KJV. Why would anyone copy a copy?

[riddler 0]

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Hopefully they translated the Hebrew texts and not the KJV. Why would anyone copy a copy?

In some cases, it's a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy - as the basis of the New Living Translation is the Living Bible, which was done back in 1971, and based on the American Standard Version (1901), which was based on the Revised Version (1800s), and that is based on the King James Version (1600s). But for a lot of the NLV, I guess they went all the way back to Hebrew and Greek.

Of course, I don't think the books in the New Testament were ever done in Hebrew

But since language changes so much, even in a 100 years, it's kinda important to make old books accessible with modern language. I don't think I would have made it through Shakespeare without Cliff's Notes.

Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

[stayhigh 2]

i tried using them as a cigarette papers.. and they do not work..
burns too fast and smoke is very harsh...

Bernie Sanders for President 2016

[tkhayes 348]

WWJS?

(What Would Jesus Smoke?)

[RonD1120 62]

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Hopefully they translated the Hebrew texts and not the KJV. Why would anyone copy a copy?

In some cases, it's a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy - as the basis of the New Living Translation is the Living Bible, which was done back in 1971, and based on the American Standard Version (1901), which was based on the Revised Version (1800s), and that is based on the King James Version (1600s). But for a lot of the NLV, I guess they went all the way back to Hebrew and Greek.

Of course, I don't think the books in the New Testament were ever done in Hebrew

But since language changes so much, even in a 100 years, it's kinda important to make old books accessible with modern language. I don't think I would have made it through Shakespeare without Cliff's Notes.

The Old Testament was written in Hebrew and the New Testament written in Greek.

The King James Version is considered by some to be the most scholarly translation.

The Strong's Exhaustive Concordance is a complete dictionary of every word, in context, in Hebrew and in Greek, based on the KJV.

The American Standard Version (1901) is considered the most accurate translation but it is awkward to read. The New American Standard Version corrected the grammatical syntax for easier reading.

The Living Bible Paraphrased is a translation for children and others that have difficulty reading Old English.

The New International Version is a scholarly work written in modern English but does eliminate a few verses in the NT for translation brevity.

One of my favorites is the Dake's Annotated Reference Bible based on the KJV.

If you are a sincere seeker of truth pick any translation and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

If you are not a seeker none of the versions will mean very much to you. In that case John 3:16 is your starting place.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[rhys 0]

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i tried using them as a cigarette papers.. and they do not work..
burns too fast and smoke is very harsh...

was it a rice paper bible?

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[rhys 0]

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If you are a sincere seeker of truth pick any translation and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

The holy spirit is an asshole, he didn't guide me through shit in high school(presbetarian), i was open to suggestion back then.

I have since become agnostic.

How exactly did the holy spirit guide you?

enlighten us.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[RonD1120 62]

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If you are a sincere seeker of truth pick any translation and ask the Holy Spirit to guide you.

The holy spirit is an asshole, he didn't guide me through shit in high school(presbetarian), i was open to suggestion back then.

I have since become agnostic.

How exactly did the holy spirit guide you?

enlighten us.

Your statement indicates that you lack sincerity and therefore not a truth seeker. That's OK, you chose your life path.

Had you paid more attention in HS you would have at least learned how to spell Presbyterian. You would also have learned that the chief end of man is to glorify God and worship Him forever.

The ministry of the Holy Spirit is to guide you to a closer relationship with Jesus Christ of Nazareth. That is what He has done for me.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[lurch 0]

"the chief end of man is to glorify God and worship Him forever."

Ron, you might have a hard time with this one but I'll say it anyway. I mentally gagged when I read this statement. From your point of view you're one of the good guys, spreading the obvious truth to save all who will listen from certain eternal doom. To people like me, that statement is close to the definition of actual evil. I would go to great lengths to keep my children away from people who would try to teach them stuff like this.
You state your abstract opinions about the origins and purpose of man's existence as if they were fact. Naive and innocent people who don't know any better might actually believe you.
If man has a purpose at all it is to improve himself and his condition... the basic mission of all life forms. Try to stay alive, and improve on it. Time spent worshipping things is time wasted on not improving oneself or the lives of those around you. Worshipping things is degrading. It reduces the worshipper to a slavish subservient role to the object of that worship and whatever religious authority represents it.
You can believe in such rules if you like, just don't expect the rest of us to respect them or consider ourselves bound by them.
Kinda reminds me of another common statement I hear from outraged religious people..."God will not be mocked!"
Oh yes he will. And is. Frequently. All over the world.
The chief end of man, whatever it is, (and it'd be awfully presumptuous of us to claim we know) is a lot deeper and more involved than "worship and glorify forever." YUCK. What a limited imagination you have. Didn't you ever think that maybe, just maybe there might be a little more to it than that? Your idea of the perfect destiny for man is on his knees adoringly. Mine is on his feet exploring, standing tall and proud building a better world for the kids.
-B

Live and learn... or die, and teach by example.

[RonD1120 62]

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"the chief end of man is to glorify God and worship Him forever."

Ron, you might have a hard time with this one but I'll say it anyway. I mentally gagged when I read this statement. From your point of view you're one of the good guys, spreading the obvious truth to save all who will listen from certain eternal doom. To people like me, that statement is close to the definition of actual evil. I would go to great lengths to keep my children away from people who would try to teach them stuff like this.
You state your abstract opinions about the origins and purpose of man's existence as if they were fact. Naive and innocent people who don't know any better might actually believe you.
If man has a purpose at all it is to improve himself and his condition... the basic mission of all life forms. Try to stay alive, and improve on it. Time spent worshipping things is time wasted on not improving oneself or the lives of those around you. Worshipping things is degrading. It reduces the worshipper to a slavish subservient role to the object of that worship and whatever religious authority represents it.
You can believe in such rules if you like, just don't expect the rest of us to respect them or consider ourselves bound by them.
Kinda reminds me of another common statement I hear from outraged religious people..."God will not be mocked!"
Oh yes he will. And is. Frequently. All over the world.
The chief end of man, whatever it is, (and it'd be awfully presumptuous of us to claim we know) is a lot deeper and more involved than "worship and glorify forever." YUCK. What a limited imagination you have. Didn't you ever think that maybe, just maybe there might be a little more to it than that? Your idea of the perfect destiny for man is on his knees adoringly. Mine is on his feet exploring, standing tall and proud building a better world for the kids.
-B

The statement above is key in the Reformed Church and is actively expressed in the Presbyterian Church.

The rest of your opinion I respectfully categorize as staunch secular humanism. If that is where you place your faith that's OK with me.

My faith lies in my relationship with Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[Andy9o8 2]

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The rest of your opinion I respectfully categorize as staunch secular humanism. If that is where you place your faith that's OK with me. My faith lies in my relationship with Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Not all personal philosophies are based on faith. Religion is predicated on faith. Secular humanism, on the other hand, is not predicated on faith; it is also known as "scientific humanism", and its core reasoning is based principally on evidence and the scientific method.

[Andrewwhyte 1]

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The Old Testament was written in Hebrew and the New Testament written in Greek.

It seems curious to me that (for example) the Mark the evangelist, a Jew born in Judea would write in Greek. Matthew certainly was later translated from Hebrew to Greek as the apostle would have written the gospel for the Hebrews.

[RonD1120 62]

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The rest of your opinion I respectfully categorize as staunch secular humanism. If that is where you place your faith that's OK with me. My faith lies in my relationship with Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

Not all personal philosophies are based on faith. Religion is predicated on faith. Secular humanism, on the other hand, is not predicated on faith; it is also known as "scientific humanism", and its core reasoning is based principally on evidence and the scientific method.

Within the evangelical community, secular humanism is referred to as faith. That is to say, man's faith in man's ability.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[Andy9o8 2]

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Within the evangelical community, secular humanism is referred to as faith.

Well, any orange can be re-defined "apple", but that doesn't make it one.

[RonD1120 62]

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Within the evangelical community, secular humanism is referred to as faith.

Well, any orange can be re-defined "apple", but that doesn't make it one.

Uhh! OK.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[maadmax 0]

The holy spirit is an asshole, he didn't guide me through shit in high school(presbetarian), i was open to suggestion back then.

I have since become agnostic.

How exactly did the holy spirit guide you?

enlighten us.

[RonD1120 62]

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The Old Testament was written in Hebrew and the New Testament written in Greek.

It seems curious to me that (for example) the Mark the evangelist, a Jew born in Judea would write in Greek. Matthew certainly was later translated from Hebrew to Greek as the apostle would have written the gospel for the Hebrews.

I am researching this one. Standby.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.