Religion and relationships

[npgraphicdesign 3]

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No that's not the reason. The biggest issue in my mother's eyes is that she is FROM a devout Muslim family.

My family thinks in general it's a mistake to connect your life with that religion

Why is that?

I could understand if they had issues with all religions, but if your singling out just Islam?????? Too much fox news? Too much 24?

Is your grandmother and mother atheists or just think there religion is the “right one”?



Sorry if I sound like a dick! Its not really because of how your family feels about Islam but more about growing up.
Your mom dad whatever are just people and just like people there not perfect there not always right.

You should get married when you realize that the woman in your life that you claim to be the one is number one on the list.

That doesn’t mean you have to be mean or disrespectful to your mom, however it does mean that you live your life the way you and her choose, and not to the standard of others.
I don't think any woman wants to marry a man who is looking for his moms approval more then hers.

You don't sound like a dick...I get what you are saying. My family just thinks that Judaism and Islam don't mix by any stretch of imagination.

And I know I already have her approval, and she has mine. If things get to marriage, then my family will have to deal with it..simple as that.

[Andy9o8 2]

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My family just thinks that Judaism and Islam don't mix by any stretch of imagination.

In eons past, it was not uncommon for royalty of warring tribes and nations to intermarry in order to bring peace between peoples. You might try selling it that way.

Uh, let me know how that works out.

[npgraphicdesign 3]

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My family just thinks that Judaism and Islam don't mix by any stretch of imagination.

In eons past, it was not uncommon for royalty of warring tribes and nations to intermarry in order to bring peace between peoples. You might try selling it that way.

Uh, let me know how that works out.

Yea that'll work out swimmingly...;)

[rhys 0]

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So, what are the chances of her falling back onto her roots later in life, becoming religious, immersing herself back into the culture, etc? Right now, she's the farthest away from that as possible...but what are the chances of that happening later in life?

Pretty fucking slim if you ask me! She may pretend to beleive like most people do to keep thier peers happy and make their lives easier.

Much like any person trying to become the United States Presedent would have to pretend to be Christian to have any chance whatsoever!

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[winsor 236]

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23%

Wiseass :P

What i mean is this: WHen someone has some incredibly strong cultural roots, even though they chose to live and exist away from them...is it still something that lies dormant in one person and can be awakened for one reason or another?

Unfortunately yes, and the likelihood is well better than average - 23% is overly optimistic.

"Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man" is the Jesuit motto, alleged to be attributed to Francis Xavier.

If you have someone indoctrinated one way or another at a very early age, the patterning goes very deep. I have seen all too many apparently modern, sophisticated people who, under enough pressure, made an atavistic reversion to a truly Dark Ages mindset that reflected their early upbringing.

Religions are toxic by nature, and islam in any guise is particularly virulent. If you are willing to bet the ranch that it will remain dormant, go for it; occasionally it works out that way. If, however, she reverts to her roots at some point, you had best buckle up for the ride.


Good luck,

Winsor

[npgraphicdesign 3]

Nice turn of events....

So just finished a lengthy conversation with my grandmother. I'll spare you the details, but she essentially said that if I were to pursue a relationship with this woman, she wouldnt accept her into the family, will not meet her, see her, etc.

Also had a similar falling out with my mother who said that just because I'll get involved with her, doesn't mean she will like her or accept her.



I can't handle my family any more.

[Coreece 190]

It's no different than anything else...we hardly ever listen to our family, but rather our hearts.

Religion ultimately is just a way to show us (or others) who we really are...either good or bad.

I believe the Bible presents us with a choice of good or evil...our hearts will always prevail.

many choose to use the harsh examples of the Bible to either justify they're bigotry or to control others or society.(evil)

...yet others see the benefit of humility presented in the Bible and recognize their own faults. (Good)

To me, it just seems the Bible is testing our hearts.
(eye for and eye, or forgive thy enemy? The choice is yours)

...but this is just me.

not even sure this is relevant or accurate...just wanted to post that....if I'm wrong, I'm wrong.

Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are...

[Andy9o8 2]

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Nice turn of events....

So just finished a lengthy conversation with my grandmother. I'll spare you the details, but she essentially said that if I were to pursue a relationship with this woman, she wouldnt accept her into the family, will not meet her, see her, etc.

Also had a similar falling out with my mother who said that just because I'll get involved with her, doesn't mean she will like her or accept her.



I can't handle my family any more.

OK, so that's where it stands. Now that they've drawn their line in the sand, you need to draw yours. Because the more you keep reaching out to them to try to get them to cooperate humanely, the more it is they who are jerking you around. You need to retain the superior position of strength. And that's because blackmail - which is what this is, it's emotional blackmail - never stops on its own; you must put a stop to it.

So you need to have the inner strength to give them a long silence, as long as it takes. No communication in person, by phone, via e-mail or Facebook, anything. If they mail you a letter, you put it in an envelope, unopened, and mail it back to them. When third parties - mutual friends or relative, probably - inevitably are enlisted to "reach out" to you on their behalf, you simply refuse to speak to them about it.

Ultimately, your mom and grandmother - who certainly realize that they are mortal and are not getting any younger - will be forced to decide which is more important to them: their pride or their son?