Man Already Knows Everything He Needs To Know About Muslims

[Darius11 12]

http://www.theonion.com/articles/man-already-knows-everything-he-needs-to-know-abou,17990/

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SALINA, KS—Local man Scott Gentries told reporters Wednesday that his deliberately limited grasp of Islamic history and culture was still more than sufficient to shape his views of the entire Muslim world.

Gentries, 48, said he had absolutely no interest in exposing himself to further knowledge of Islamic civilization or putting his sweeping opinions into a broader context of any kind, and confirmed he was "perfectly happy" to make a handful of emotionally charged words the basis of his mistrust toward all members of the world's second-largest religion.

"I learned all that really matters about the Muslim faith on 9/11," Gentries said in reference to the terrorist attacks on the United States undertaken by 19 of Islam's approximately 1.6 billion practitioners. "What more do I need to know to stigmatize Muslims everywhere as inherently violent radicals?"

"And now they want to build a mosque at Ground Zero," continued Gentries, eliminating any distinction between the 9/11 hijackers and Muslims in general. "No, I won't examine the accuracy of that statement, but yes, I will allow myself to be outraged by it and use it as evidence of these people's universal callousness toward Americans who lost loved ones when the Twin Towers fell."

"Even though I am not one of those people," he added.

When told that the proposed "Ground Zero mosque" is actually a community center two blocks north of the site that would include, in addition to a public prayer space, a 500-seat auditorium, a restaurant, and athletic facilities, Gentries shook his head and said, "I know all I'm going to let myself know."

Gentries explained that it "didn't take long" to find out as much about the tenets of Islam as he needed to. He said he knew Muslims stoned their women for committing adultery, trained for terrorist attacks at fundamentalist madrassas, and believed in jihad, which Gentries described as the thing they used to justify killing infidels.

"All Muslims are at war with America, and I will resist any attempt to challenge that assertion with potentially illuminating facts," said Gentries, who threatened to leave the room if presented with the number of Muslims who live peacefully in the United States, serve in the country's armed forces, or were victims themselves of the 9/11 attacks. "Period."

"If you don't believe me, wait until they put your wife in a burka," Gentries continued in reference to the face-and-body-covering worn by a small minority of Muslim women and banned in the universities of Turkey, Tunisia, and Syria. "Or worse, a rape camp. That's right: For reasons I am content being totally unable to articulate, I am choosing to associate Muslims with rape camps."

Over the past decade, Gentries said he has taken pains to avoid personal interactions or media that might have the potential to compromise his point of view. He told reporters that the closest he had come to confronting a contrary standpoint was tuning in to the first few seconds of an interview with a moderate Muslim cleric before hastily turning off the television.

"I almost gave in and listened to that guy defend Islam with words I didn't want to hear," Gentries said. "But then I remembered how much easier it is to live in a world of black-and-white in which I can assign the label of 'other' to someone and use him as a vessel for all my fears and insecurities."

Added Gentries, "That really put things back into perspective."

This is so funny and at the same time so true. How many crazy Extremists rightwingers on here sound like this guy?

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[Skyrad 0]

Dude, sounds like the last two weeks of threads condensed into one post.

When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy.
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

[Darius11 12]

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[rushmc 23]

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Circle jerk, get your cicle jerk here......

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[Amazon 7]

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Circle jerk, get your cicle jerk here......

My co-worker wants to know how much you want so he can join in at Couch Freaks

[rushmc 23]

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Circle jerk, get your cicle jerk here......

My co-worker wants to know how much you want so he can join in at Couch Freaks

Your co-worker??

ya

right

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[Amazon 7]

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Circle jerk, get your cicle jerk here......

My co-worker wants to know how much you want so he can join in at Couch Freaks

Your co-worker??

ya

right

The dude is crackin up.. really

[rushmc 23]

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Circle jerk, get your cicle jerk here......

My co-worker wants to know how much you want so he can join in at Couch Freaks

Your co-worker??

ya

right

The dude is crackin up.. really

In any event
YOU are going to have to ask the owner operators of the circle-o-fun

It is there self feeling holly than thou ring of fire

I am sure they will let you join in

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[Amazon 7]

Nah Marc... I leave all the CORN fun to you guys. You are so expert at it

Others.... well.. they want to get in on your action...

[mnealtx 0]

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This is so funny and at the same time so true. How many crazy Extremists rightwingers on here sound like this guy?

Keep this article in the front of your mind and go re-read some of your posts about Israel.

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[rushmc 23]

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This is so funny and at the same time so true. How many crazy Extremists rightwingers on here sound like this guy?

Keep this article in the front of your mind and go re-read some of your posts about Israel.

Your post seems to indicate that this is a serious thread???
Damn, if so forgive me
It was so stupid, ridicules and self stroking I thought they were make a joke thread. So I went along with it

Sorry if I miss read their intent

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln

[Darius11 12]

It is very relevant when I have people here constantly tell me what my religion is. When they make general statements about Islam and they HAVE NO CLUE ZERO DUMB AS SHIT ON THE SUBJECT....ect I can keep going.
Its funny because people on here like to talk for 1.6 billion people and generalize.

Remember the threads about the Masque in NYC?

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[rushmc 23]

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It is very relevant when I have people here constantly tell me what my religion is. I have no idea what you are talking about or what your religion is. I dont care and I have never taken that path that I remember When they make general statements You mean like the general statements about those with whom you do not agree with in this thread? Ok, I see your point then about Islam and they HAVE NO CLUE ZERO DUMB AS SHIT ON THE SUBJECT.... But you got it nailed down right? Ok, I get that you think that too ect I can keep going. You usually do
Its funny because people on here like to talk for 1.6 billion people and generalize. Generalize again, like you do in this thread about those with whom you disagree with on this point? Ya, I got that earlier

Remember the threads about the Masque in NYC?

I do, and I remember those threads Mike posted about here earlier too. DO you?

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln