labrys 0 #51 September 11, 2013 QuoteSeriously . . . what would the right thing be. The right thing for him to do is to take responsibility for his own birth control if he doesn't want a baby.Owned by Remi #? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #52 September 11, 2013 labrysQuoteSeriously . . . what would the right thing be. The right thing for him to do is to take responsibility for his own birth control if he doesn't want a baby. You have never been married have you?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,446 #53 September 11, 2013 There isn't a good answer. Frankly, she's such a devious bitch that if she were to have the baby, I'd want to be genetically tested, and if it matched, then I might just talk to my parents about trying to get sole custody, because that would protect the child from her . Giving her something that can impact her health without her knowledge is wrong; two wrongs don't make a right. But boy was she wrong, too, if that's really how it happened. Obviously he didn't pick well for stick-dipping. Wendy P. There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
labrys 0 #54 September 11, 2013 Quote You have never been married have you? Yes, I have. Edit for clarity: And it was even a regular ol' marriage to a guy. Not one of these new-fangled "gay marriages" Owned by Remi #? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #55 September 11, 2013 labrys Quote You have never been married have you? Yes, I have. Edit for clarity: And it was even a regular ol' marriage to a guy. Not one of these new-fangled "gay marriages" So . . . Do you trust your wife?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #56 September 11, 2013 labrysQuoteSeriously . . . what would the right thing be. The right thing for him to do is to take responsibility for his own birth control if he doesn't want a baby. In the example above, it could be argued that he did. Assuming IUDs can only be removed by a doctor, subpoena the medical records, and the man might be able to show malice to limit/eliminate his financial responsibility.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kelpdiver 2 #57 September 11, 2013 turtlespeed I personally know a guy that was under the impression that his SO had a BC Implant. I say "under the impression" because during the "I want a baby" talk, she had it removed without his knowledge. They ended up with a child. Who is at fault there? So you're putting out a lot of hypotheticals that can warrant further discussion, but it's a bit of a drift as these don't apply to what actually happened here. I'm going to ignore Darius's comments entirely, as he seems so far from fucking reality I have no idea what to say. But at the heart of it, implants, injections, pills, and less reliable methods are all known to fail to prevent pregnancy. My sister didn't find out she was pregnant until 5 months in - she naturally presumed the the Depo injection was effective. It mostly is...but even 99% effective means 1 couple in 100 get pregnant each year. (BTW, condoms are in the low 80s, so 1 in 6 couples) So the reality is if you're going to sleep with another person (of the opposite sex), you have to accept the possibility of this situation. If you're not comfortable with the responsibility, you have to be mature enough to not. Or you have to have those awkward conversations. I too know someone who got forced into marriage by a woman who almost certainly sabotaged her BC and got pregnant. It's a pretty shitty situation. But that outcome doesn't remotely justify giving your girlfriend "antibiotics" that actually force a miscarriage. No level of deceit on her end supports poisoning her, which is really what we're talking about. Unlicensed, uneducated prescription of drugs can kill people, and it likely killed the fetus. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 210 #58 September 11, 2013 turtlespeed *** Quote You have never been married have you? Yes, I have. Edit for clarity: And it was even a regular ol' marriage to a guy. Not one of these new-fangled "gay marriages" So . . . Do you trust your wife? Why do I hear the voice of Andy Dufresne? ...or come to think of it, I suppose I could set it up for you. That would save you some money. I'll write down the forms you need, you can pick them up, and I'll prepare them for your signature... nearly free of charge... I'd only ask three beers apiece for my co-workers, if that seems fair. I think a man working outdoors feels more like a man if he can have a bottle of suds. That's only my opinion.Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #59 September 11, 2013 Bolas***QuoteSeriously . . . what would the right thing be. The right thing for him to do is to take responsibility for his own birth control if he doesn't want a baby. In the example above, it could be argued that he did. Assuming IUDs can only be removed by a doctor, subpoena the medical records, and the man might be able to show malice to limit/eliminate his financial responsibility. It was not an IUD, it was norplant.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 220 #60 September 11, 2013 airdvr ****** Quote You have never been married have you? Yes, I have. Edit for clarity: And it was even a regular ol' marriage to a guy. Not one of these new-fangled "gay marriages" So . . . Do you trust your wife? Why do I hear the voice of Andy Dufresne? ...or come to think of it, I suppose I could set it up for you. That would save you some money. I'll write down the forms you need, you can pick them up, and I'll prepare them for your signature... nearly free of charge... I'd only ask three beers apiece for my co-workers, if that seems fair. I think a man working outdoors feels more like a man if he can have a bottle of suds. That's only my opinion. LOL I thought about that - and maybe it was a double On Tahn DraBut I digress . . . If your wife deceived you like I described above, would it still be your fault?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
labrys 0 #61 September 11, 2013 QuoteBut I digress . . . If your wife deceived you like I described above, would it still be your fault? It wouldn't be his fault, but it would certainly be his responsibility. When he chooses to have sex with his wife, he has to also assume the responsibility that a pregnancy may result regardless of her deception. Men also have access to birth control. Most choose not to use any. That choice increases the possibility that his wife might get pregnant. Choosing not to use birth control for himself makes him responsible. It's not rocket science.Owned by Remi #? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 210 #62 September 11, 2013 If only guys had a pill they could take...Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,446 #63 September 11, 2013 Quote If only guys had a pill they could take... Traditionally, isn't that what saltpeter is for Wendy P.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
labrys 0 #64 September 12, 2013 QuoteIn the example above, it could be argued that he did. Nope. In the example, he was assuming that *she* was being responsible about *her* birth control options.Owned by Remi #? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
labrys 0 #65 September 12, 2013 QuoteIf only guys had a pill they could take... If guys only had access to a product that they could use to significantly reduce the chance that they would contribute to a pregnancy... Oh wait...Owned by Remi #? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #66 September 12, 2013 labrysQuoteIn the example above, it could be argued that he did. Nope. In the example, he was assuming that *she* was being responsible about *her* birth control options. It's their birth control option. Quote He pays for the implant because both of them agree that it would not be a good time to have a baby and both agree that it is the best option.. If one party changes their mind, they have the responsibility and duty to let the other party know.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oldwomanc6 52 #67 September 12, 2013 wmw999 Quote If only guys had a pill they could take... Traditionally, isn't that what saltpeter is for Wendy P. lisa WSCR 594 FB 1023 CBDB 9 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Southern_Man 0 #68 September 12, 2013 Bolas Assuming IUDs can only be removed by a doctor, subpoena the medical records, and the man might be able to show malice to limit/eliminate his financial responsibility. This would have no effect on the man's financial responsibility."What if there were no hypothetical questions?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #69 September 12, 2013 Quote But I digress . . . If your wife deceived you like I described above, would it still be your fault? Apparently it’s just me and you who believe woman should be equal and held to the same standards. Everyone else thinks even when she clearly lies it’s still not her fault because you know she is a woman!!!???? Logic save us all. Oh and everyone even if they have been tested and in a long term relationship still use condoms, pills, IUD, Sperm killing gel, and they even have a nun in the room who smacks you on the balls with a stick in case you don’t pull out even with the condom on. Sounds like a good time. I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #70 September 12, 2013 Southern_Man*** Assuming IUDs can only be removed by a doctor, subpoena the medical records, and the man might be able to show malice to limit/eliminate his financial responsibility. This would have no effect on the man's financial responsibility. It's no longer a case of he said/she said or an "accident." Willful, deliberate, and most importantly evidentiary proof. May even be enough to get the woman declared an unfit mother and put the baby up for adoption.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
labrys 0 #71 September 12, 2013 QuoteIt's their birth control option. It's kinda like paying a packer. If you trust someone else to handle the birth control and they do it poorly, it's your ass on the line :-D If men don't want to take personal responsibility for birth control, then they have to take responsibility for the results. Hell, even if they *do* use birth control, they still have to take responsibility. Everyone does. Pregnancy is one of the implicit risks (if you look at it that way) of sex. Even if you take all precautions, you might end up a parent. Not taking *all* the possible precautions means that the risk is higher. Most guys just don't seem to get this. Or they just flatly don't like the idea of getting a vasectomy or using a condom. That's a personal choice and it increases their risk. Like I said before, it's not rocket science.Owned by Remi #? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #72 September 12, 2013 Quote Quite the man. Some day when you have half my balls you might actually learn to be honest. Also you need to get laid more, so you’re not so desperate for a hook up that you will say any thing you THINK woman want to hear. I’ll see you when you get there buddyI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #73 September 12, 2013 BolasPerhaps one could draw up a legal document for a couple for what would be done if the woman becomes pregnant. This wouldn't force the woman to abide with what was in the contract, but might relinquish the man's responsibilities should she choose not to. That would be the way to do it, if deception is not treated the same when committed by a woman. Think about what happens to a man when he commits a deception and the consequences he suffers from. Also I believe the law will not honor such a contract, I have to look it up but a case where a guy was a sperm donor comes to mind; where he was taken to court to pay child support. I believe he had such documentation to exempt him but he lost.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #74 September 12, 2013 Quote In contrast, I understand the frustration of a man if the woman professes to not want children and, only after the birth control methods have failed, changes her mind and decides she will have the baby. That's a problem. I agree and I don't get why everyone thinks it’s ok to lie, and the responsibility is all on the party that didn’t break the contract. Makes no sense.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #75 September 12, 2013 Quote don't have sex with women who you do not want to impregnate. Dude did you become a priest? What now, I will only have sex to procreate? Thank god I am not catholicThat's not a solution, that's a talking point that people who do not understand humane sexuality say. Now i know your a very smart guy but that logic is bull shit.I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
