Accurate parody of news reports and police statements

[funjumper101 15]

Canadian, but still nails it perfectly -

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Newmarket, ON -- On Monday, an unarmed male black bear roaming through Newmarket backyards was shot dead after police claimed the bear made a distinct motion for a responding officer’s gun.

“It’s always unfortunate when a police officer is forced to use their firearm in the line of duty.” explained Chief Gordon Tompkins of the York Regional Police. “But we strongly believe that in this case the use of force was warranted.”

In the interest of a fair investigation, police have publicly released a document detailing the personal failures and legal troubles of the now deceased bear. Chief Tompkins explained that if the public knows that the bear was homeless and never completed high school then maybe, somehow they will think the slaying was justified.

“Additionally, we have reason to believe the black bear may have been involved in gang-type activities, and was possibly armed and on drugs," explained Tompkins. "As always, the important thing to remember here is that when someone is shot by the police it is never our fault.”

Tompkins was responding to mounting criticism over the use of deadly force against the animal and father of two. The York Regional Police have received significant flak on social media for not making attempts to subdue the bear before resorting to deadly force.

The officers were originally tipped off to the black bear’s presence in the neighborhood by a concerned area resident who claimed to have seen the bear stealing a pie. Police arriving on scene stopped the bear and asked it for identification. It was at this point the officers allege the animal became erratic and were forced to shoot him 18 times in the face.

“I wholeheartedly disagree that this shooting had anything to do with species.” said Joliffe. “Our mascot Bobby the Bear is a black bear.”

[JohnnyMarko 1]

Source if anyone kers

[rushmc 23]

thisis a better parody

http://www.wnd.com/2015/06/barney-franks-hubby-give-blacks-watermelons/



or maybe not

Good video huh........

"America will never be destroyed from the outside,
if we falter and lose our freedoms,
it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
Abraham Lincoln