religious joke of the day

[RMK 3]

If we are all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

"Pain is the best instructor, but no one wants to attend his classes"

[winsor 236]

RMK

If we are all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

He was the Magic Jewish Zombie.

[SkyDekker 1,465]

BIGUN

For the love of God

SC has degenerated so much that even the same (and possibly last) ten active people on here cannot take even exchange jokes without trying to shred the skin off of each other.

We used to talk WITH each other - Not AT each other.

Course we used to see each other at boogies. Sit around the bonfire and discuss things. Now we just launch insults and petty attacks from hundreds or thousands of miles away.

Would the last one to leave SC; please turn out the lights.

Apparently polarization is a natural outcome, even when everybody acts in good faith.

https://www.acsh.org/news/2018/11/28/polarization-society-even-scientists-become-tribal-13628

[BIGUN 1,297]

SkyDekker

***For the love of God

SC has degenerated so much that even the same (and possibly last) ten active people on here cannot take even exchange jokes without trying to shred the skin off of each other.

We used to talk WITH each other - Not AT each other.

Course we used to see each other at boogies. Sit around the bonfire and discuss things. Now we just launch insults and petty attacks from hundreds or thousands of miles away.

Would the last one to leave SC; please turn out the lights.

Apparently polarization is a natural outcome, even when everybody acts in good faith.

https://www.acsh.org/news/2018/11/28/polarization-society-even-scientists-become-tribal-13628

And, I agree that it may be a natural outcome, but shouldn't we be able to identify it and not act on it; once it's brought to our attention?

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[BIGUN 1,297]

normiss

If God really made everything…

He’s Chinese, right?

OKAY!!! That cracked me the fuck up.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[normiss 798]

Why is it that when you talk to god, it’s called praying?

Yet when god talks to you, they call it schizophrenia.

[normiss 798]

What is Jesus' favorite gun?

A nail gun.

[normiss 798]

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that god doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

[NewGuy2005 53]

billvon

>The ship shook mightily, and the Lawyer ran into the room. "We've hit an iceberg
>and we're sinking! Head to the lifeboats!"

And the swedish doctor said "you are . . . sinking? Uh - what are you sinking about?"

Which reminds me of this funny commercial:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmOTpIVxji8

[NewGuy2005 53]

Bumper sticker on car:

"In case of rapture...
Can I have your car?"

[normiss 798]

At a man's funeral, the priest offers the compliments:
"The deceased was a good husband, excellent Christian, and an exemplary father!"
The widow turns to one of her children and whispers in her ear:
"Go up there and see who is inside the coffin...."

[normiss 798]

How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just sit in the dark and demand you accept that the light is still on.

[normiss 798]

Jesus tried to give a Roman a high-five before he died.

They left him hanging.

[normiss 798]

Jesus loves you are three very comforting words...

Unless you're in a Mexican prison.

[SethInMI 174]

normiss

Jesus loves you are three very comforting words...Unless you're in a Mexican prison.

It's flare not flair, brakes not breaks, bridle not bridal, "could NOT care less" not "could care less".

[normiss 798]

What exercise does jesus love doing most?

CrossFit.

[normiss 798]

Teacher asks the class, “Where is Jesus today?”
Steven raised his hand and says, “He’s in heaven.”
Mary answers, “He’s in my heart.”
Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurts out, “I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom…’cause every morning
Daddy bangs on the door shouting ” Jesus Christ, are you still in there?”

[motionscribe 0]

Niki1

You maybe should talk to Ron. I don't agree with most of what he says but he expresses himself clearly and intelligently without the foul language.

Yes, Ron is an inspiration to us all. . .

Personally, I have no problem with using foul language as an emphasis since I'm a walking and talking adult human being.

But If I were to call you a "fucking asshole," then ya, that might be a problem. . .

[motionscribe 0]

GeorgiaDon

When he died he left $1.2 million dollars[/url] to the geology department to support grad students, and a significant part of that endowment was funded by picking up empty bottles.

Ya right, what's your definition of a "significant" part of $1.2 million dollars?

GeorgiaDon

Given a choice between Dr. Danner's "rambling" and your pretentious bullshit, I know who I prefer to support.

Ya, well that choice wasn't given.

[Niki1 1]

motionscribe

***You maybe should talk to Ron. I don't agree with most of what he says but he expresses himself clearly and intelligently without the foul language.

Yes, Ron is an inspiration to us all. . .

Personally, I have no problem with using foul language as an emphasis since I'm a walking and talking adult human being.

But If I were to call you a "fucking asshole," then ya, that might be a problem. . .


I'm from the South and down here we say, "Well, bless your heart."

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done.
Louis D Brandeis

Where are we going and why are we in this basket?

[billvon 2,990]

>I'm from the South and down here we say, "Well, bless your heart."

"Bless your heart" can also be used to forgive any attack in the first part of the sentence.

"Well, isn't she just a little whore, bless her heart."
"That fat blob went low AGAIN. Bless his heart."

[ryoder 1,590]

billvon

>I'm from the South and down here we say, "Well, bless your heart."

"Bless your heart" can also be used to forgive any attack in the first part of the sentence.

"Well, isn't she just a little whore, bless her heart."
"That fat blob went low AGAIN. Bless his heart."

So are you saying we can engage in personal attacks, as long as we add "bless his heart" at the end?

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[normiss 798]

Aww, bless your little heart.

[Niki1 1]

billvon

>I'm from the South and down here we say, "Well, bless your heart."

"Bless your heart" can also be used to forgive any attack in the first part of the sentence.

"Well, isn't she just a little whore, bless her heart."
"That fat blob went low AGAIN. Bless his heart."

You must be from the South also.

And I didn't go low. You guys floated. But bless your heart anyway.

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done.
Louis D Brandeis

Where are we going and why are we in this basket?

[normiss 798]

Three nuns die and go to heaven.
St. Peter says to them “These days you have to pass a test to get into heaven.”
Peter asks the first nun, “Who was the first man on earth?”
“Adam” answers the first nun, who is admitted to heaven.
“Who was the first woman on earth?” St. Peter asks the second nun.
“Eve” she answers correctly
St. Peter asks the third nun, “What were the first words Eve spoke to Adam?”
The third nun says “That’s a hard one!”
Bells ring, lights flash, people clap.
Right answer!