Unexpected fear getting a hold of me before my AFF cat. B jump

[chemist 0]

If it's any consolation, I am an AFF student. Never bailed out but I get similar feelings as you, that is on the climb up I'll think "This is the last skydive i'll ever do this is so stupid", or "I really don't want to do this". Of course afterwards it's like awesome! again, again!

The key is to recognize these negative thoughts will pass rather quickly, just sit through them. It's pretty natural for your mind to start rationalizing it's way out of jumping out of an airplane. Just remember that the anxiety will go away once you get to the door. It's like public speaking, you're nervous before but once you start talking it goes away completely. Same with the plane ride up, you're nervous on the ride up but once you are walking towards the door all the anxiety goes away and turns into excitement.

[vincenzo57 0]

I went through anxiety on all of my jumps but after the last few I knew it's gonna be my sport for good. On each and every one it was,"I'll just finish the course, then I've proved it to myself", then half an hour after I landed it was "no, I'll go and buy a couple more". ?This went on and on and I've got 19 jumps now, only my hop and pop to do and I've got my BPA A licence.
I came back from doing my AFF in Spain knowing that it had been a massive turning point in how I was going to look at life from then on. I came back with lots of confidence and only after a couple of months I've made loads of new friends.

[DrDom 0]

I would like to weigh in on a few bits here.

First "Just relax" doesn't work. I'll come back to this. But it doesn't.

Your reality is that you have some mental blocks to deal with. The first is your comparison to sex. This is not sex. Sex is ingrained into our psyche as a survival mechanism. Even just fantasizing about sex increases dopamine and noradrenaline in our brain (and serotonin). On the other hand, as a flightless animal we have a NATURAL fear of heights. If anyone says they weren't nervous on their first skydive they are full of crap. It is COMPLETELY unnatural and from a survival perspective it is contradictory to what we are. Our primitive "frog brain" certainly was not ready for 14,000 feet of altitude with two pieces of fabric on our back. We weren't designed to fly, so our brains reject it. We go into fight-flight mode.

The fear is natural. Embrace it.

Anxiety is "fear of fear". It is what you experience at your keyboard. Its what I get when I think of ladders and water (afraid of heights and drowning... and spiders). Anxiety is what you get BEFORE you get to the door. In the door it is fear.

So how do we deal with this? Xanax (and other benzodiazepines) are a bad mix. You do not want your judgment clouded when you need to make split second decisions. Xanax and its related drugs work on the same GABA receptor as alcohol. You wouldn't drink and skydive, you shouldn't medicate and skydive. Beta Blockers are hard to chew on as well. They can blunt the effect of catecholamines (adrenaline and the like) but they also decrease your boy's response to change. If you start spinning and generating positive G forces your body will compensate by "shunting" blood to the brain by squeezing arteries in the extremities to "push" blood to the brain. Beta Blockers can undo this.

Where DO we go then? That's hard to say. First, identify your fear. WHAT specifically are you afraid of? Is it the fall, is it death, is it equipment failure, is it letting the team own? What do you fear. I fear a few things: death (boo), being injured (breadwinner for the family), and I fear that sensation of "drop" when I go out the door because it reminds me I'm no longer safely cocooned in the aircraft. Warm, fuzzy, airplanes.

So what do I do? First I start with "knowledge is power", I learn EVERYTHING. Read. Watch. Go to youtube and watch videos (not people's stupid "look at my hard landing", but go to skydive websites and their pages and watch AFF students. Watch tandems (so many online). Watch FUN jumps and people enjoying themselves. Realize they ALL had (and some have) the same fear YOU do!

Next, as a frog-brain mammal we all are more willing to follow others. In my tandem I was first out. It is MUCH more scary to be first out. You also have fear of the unknown and fear you're the "only one". Get someone to go first. Maybe even an experienced jumper. Watch them cool as a cucumber go out the door. Remember you have 2 instructors going with you and they want to live as much as they want YOU to live. Everyone has a good time when you're packing canopy at the end of the day :)

Remember to breathe. Remember to visualize. Ask questions. Give yourself tasks. Talk to your instructors. Ask them to check your gear again. Tell them about your fears. Tell them what you're thinking. getting it out is the foundation of therapy. It works.

If the door is scaring you, ask about spotting and if you can help. Get close to the door and focus on a task. Learn about what they are doing. Be in control and REMIND yourself you are in control. Occupy your brain. Breathe.

As for "why" you skydive. Only you can answer that. I've heard plenty of people say its not "fun". Fair. My wife feels the same way. Doesn't get it.

I did my first jump tandem about a month ago. Before that I had been working my ass off at a great paying job, burning myself out, buying exotic sports cars, expensive houses, trying to find what made me happy. On a whim I went to the DZ and saw people who lived to skydive, had not care about exotic cars, pricey clothes... and they were HAPPY. Life there was SIMPLE. I jumped, and I understood. Instead of waiting on a list to buy a new Ferrari, I cancelled my order, cut back my hours (still gotta live), simplified my life, and now am going to do the AFF course. Why? Because I transcended my fear on that jump. I learned self reliance. Simplicity. The joy of something unusual, scary, and the caress of soft ground on my landing. My dinner never tasted that good (ate at some crappy taco hut.... the food was awful... but awesome), the first sip of water after my jump was amazing, and you notice things others don't just because you realize you just DID something You weren't a passenger, a bystander, you ruled your own destiny. You and a piece of nylon just conquered gravity, evolution, fear, anxiety. And the single best thing you can do is to turn around and get right back up there again.

But honestly, if you can not find a reason to jump... maybe its just not what drives you. There are other ways to get a high being outside the box. SCUBA, mountain climbing, skiing, motorcycles... make sure this is the one you want to do, because life IS awfully short.

You are not the contents of your wallet.

[chemist 0]

^ riding a motorcycle blows compared to skydiving

[DrDom 0]

chemist

^ riding a motorcycle blows compared to skydiving

Not to people who like riding motorcycles. :)

You are not the contents of your wallet.

[Squeak 17]

DrDom

***^ riding a motorcycle blows compared to skydiving

Not to people who like riding motorcycles. :)and not to people who ride motorbikes on the "razor's edge"

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[DrDom 0]

Some of you find getting out the door "boring". Whereas I find it intensely full of fear and dread. It's all about what you like and are comfortable with.

You are not the contents of your wallet.

[SFBayArea 0]

Just few weeks ago I was posting same thoughts as you are :-). You can search by my user name.
While I never landed with the plane, I was terrified and psyched so much after Category C and then later after category D2 that I thought I will never do it again. All the jumps I did up to E1 category I pushed myself out of the plane. And yes, every-time I am riding plane to 14k feet I think to myself why the heck I am doing this. However, I think I finally had a fun jump. My last jump E1 was unassisted exit from the plane with head first diving. I was once again very nervous about this jump, but it ended up my best jump so far and gave me an idea that I will be doing more jumps. I really, really enjoyed it as I got stable so much quicker then my last jump and most important I finally relaxed during the fall. My biggest problem in my D2 jump was that I was fighting the air just like I did in every other earlier jump. I could not understand what instructors mean by saying that I have to relax, I mean wind pushing you at 120m/hr. What helped is tunnel. I went to the tunnel and tried to relax there and realized that I don't actually have to fight the air, but if I relax my muscles I am more stable and can enjoy it more.
Spend some good time in tunnel, its not going to eliminate door fear for good, but it will help.
Fear will ride with you for a while, it is normal, everyone will tell you this. What helped me a little is that I kept saying to myself, hey these guys or these girls doing it, why can't I.

[Trev_S 0]

Halfway through my AFF I remember sitting in the caravan on the ride up looking at the blank stares on experienced sykdivers faces and thought to myself they just looked like addicts waiting for their fix. I wondered to myself, "Why the fuck am I doing this? Why are they doing this?" But as soon as I'm out that door I understand why :).

I guess it varies from person to person but I still had elevated heart rate and heavy breathing at the 1 min light up until about jump 10-15 and wondered if it'd ever go away - it does, well turns into excitement rather than anxiety. I dunno about other people but getting my own rig and packing myself made a massive difference, less unknowns (what ifs) going through your mind.

Anway, I'm still noob and it's fresh in my mind, try stick with it if it's something you know you want to do. I don't think there's many people (sane people) who weren't anxious for the first 5,10,20 jumps.

[dthames 0]

Quote

you're nervous on the ride up but once you are walking towards the door all the anxiety goes away and turns into excitement.

I don't really recall any anxiety at all on my first jump. But what I do recall is the instructor saying, "Get on your knees and start backing up toward your position at the door (Caravan). My heart started pounding for about 4 or 5 seconds and by the time I was on my knees, it settled down and I thought, "THAT WAS IT?". That was the "excitment" of my first skydive? Yes, that was it. When she said, "Take your position in the door", I announced each step as I had practiced many times. The setup, exit, and dive went just like we had practiced.

On some later dives the waiting for plane and the ride up were often uncomfortable. If I could manage to nod off for 2 minutes it was like someone hit Reset and all the stuff thrashing around in my head would go away. As Chemist said, when the door opens it seems to go away. Many times I wished I could get out low (HnP) just so the waiting would be over. If we made a low pass, I really wanted to go.

Instructor quote, “What's weird is that you're older than my dad!”

[Croc 0]

What he said.

"Here's a good specimen of my own wisdom. Something is so, except when it isn't so."

Charles Fort, commenting on the many contradictions of astronomy

[MSK 0]

I always told myself that riding the plane back down wasn't an option....the only way down is to jump. Exits are my favorite part now. My fear is landing. I almost throw up every time.

[glorious_alien 0]

I completed my AFF yesterday! Got over that "door monster" and onto coach jumps now! It did take a lot of work on the fear, though, some unorthodox techniques...

[DrDom 0]

glorious_alien

I completed my AFF yesterday! Got over that "door monster" and onto coach jumps now! It did take a lot of work on the fear, though, some unorthodox techniques...

Awesome!
On my Level3 (CatC) I had some unreal dread from when I woke up until we got to altitude. I actually considered riding the plane down. NO IDEA why. I was like "what am I doing? this is just STUPID". Door opened and I got my head out and was like "YES! YES YES! THIS IS WHY I'M HERE!" and had a blast. Level 4 was all excitement.

I get butterflies on the flight up, but instead of the swarming mess, I think they are doing relative work now.

I am excited about Level 5, and hope the remainder of the 3 weeks of our season in New England hold out. I would dearly love to get some coach jumps in...

Congrats on your cleared to coach... every jump gets more fun and less angst. AS for being an addict waiting for a fix... yep... we pretty much are. But instead of drugs, we are addicted to LIFE. And a little dopamine/adrenaline ;)

You are not the contents of your wallet.