Skydiving Quotes

[MarcusS 0]

Tandem Instructor to Tandem student just prior to exit- "What's the difference between a hard-on and a Ferrari"

Student - "Umm, Don't know"

TI - "I haven't got a Ferrari"

[chuckakers 425]

My buddy Rick Meyers came up with this one. "Never pull low...unless you are."

And my fav of my own is, "Tommy wasn't wearing a helmet, but at least his Cypres was turned off." Old schoolers will get it.

Chuck Akers
D-10855
Houston, TX

[muff528 3]

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My buddy Rick Meyers came up with this one. "Never pull low...unless you are."

And my fav of my own is, "Tommy wasn't wearing a helmet, but at least his Cypres was turned off." Old schoolers will get it.

BSBD I'm not an old schooler ...I'd only been jumping a year or so when Tommy went in. When word got back to the DZ it was like a dark cloud descended over the place. Just one of the early incidents back then that drove home the inherent dangers.

[airtwardo 7]

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Quote

My buddy Rick Meyers came up with this one. "Never pull low...unless you are."

And my fav of my own is, "Tommy wasn't wearing a helmet, but at least his Cypres was turned off." Old schoolers will get it.

BSBD I'm not an old schooler ...I'd only been jumping a year or so when Tommy went in. When word got back to the DZ it was like a dark cloud descended over the place. Just one of the early incidents back then that drove home the inherent dangers.

Yeah that one kinda opened everyone's eyes to the fact that the reaper doesn't care HOW good ya are.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[sriddy 0]

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Heard before exit on an RW jump:

"Slow is slow, fast is faster.
If you don't get in, you're a rotten bastard."

I liked, "Slow is smooth and smooth is fast." Doesn't have the rhyme but...

And:
In the line up just before the count to the person in front of you, "Did you know this about your reserve? Oh well, it'll probably be OK fot this jump."

I heard something similar on the ride to altitude last weekend.

After fixing something on the rig in front of her, the jumper said, "It's ok. I hid the problem, so it doesn't bother me any more."

[rabel 0]

My favorite story that gets a look of horror from my whuffo friends and a smile from my jumper friends. I'm a casual jumper and after an extended absence I'm packing and about to bag it when I think I might have done something wrong and figure I'll just start over. I grab the lines and am about to pick it up and and shake it out when the woman packing next to me says, "what are you doing?" So I start to explain what I thought I did wrong and she interrupts me and says "Just bag it. It'll open." I start to protest and the entire packing area, about 20 people, erupts into a chant of,

"Bag it! Bag it! Bag it!"

I did. It opened.

[Niki1 1]

If the lines are straight, the brakes are stowed, and the slider is up tha parachute will want to open.

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done.
Louis D Brandeis

Where are we going and why are we in this basket?

[zoobrothertom 5]

This is one my old friend Grett Dalton (RIP) used to say. He was a Cobra pilot and skydiver.

No shit! There I was, out of ideas, altitude and airspeed. One was turning, one was burning and I knew I was upside down because my air medals were dangling in my face!

At the 82nd Airborne Parachute club when he was DZ Safety Officer, his mandatory safety briefing for the experienced jumpers was, "Okay now, you up jumpers listen close. Ya'll be safe now, ya hear?"

____________________________________
I'm back in the USA!!

[Feeblemind 1]

Best one I ever heard between a TI and Student after they were geared up and the TI was explaining the skydive:

He explained were gonna have a great skydive and when the time comes plan A is to deploy the main parachute and fly to the landing area. If something goes wrong with plan A were gonna gonna go to plan B and deploy the reserve parachute and fly back to the landing area. The student looked the TI and said "if there is a problem with plan B what is plan C?" The TI replied "Stand up, dust yourself off and walk into the light!"

Fire Safety Tip: Don't fry bacon while naked

[FallloutboyDAoC 0]

In a c-182, right before i went out and did a bat hang i yelled at my buddy, "I AM THE HERO GOTHAM DESERVES". He didn't hear me but it was epic nonetheless.

[obelixtim 150]

To a (non jump) pilot.

"If riding in a plane is flying, then riding in a boat is swimming."

My computer beat me at chess, It was no match for me at kickboxing....

[mjosparky 4]

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Yeah that one kinda opened everyone's eyes to the fact that the reaper doesn't care HOW good ya are.

---

Rob Harris, Dave Wilds, Tom Piras, Roger Nelson……..They were Gods, World Champions, Icons.

They had natural talent, incredible skills and were hugely current………And yet the ground offered them no concession for their level of skill or experience.

There are few, now or in the future, who will reach their level in this game we play.

Never for a moment become so arrogant as to believe you are the one that has what it takes to avoid their fate.

---

Sparky

My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals

[raftman 12]

Heard an instructor ask a student during a briefing one time: "What do you do if you get a bi-plane?"
His answer: "Get out on the lower wing."

One of my favs:
Better a line over than a ball under,

[5kyd1vergav 0]

hahhaha thats the best idea ever!!

thats pretty much all i have to say.

F me , what a quote!

[champu 1]

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"Skydiving is like cutting your throat and seeing if you can get to the doctor before you bleed to death"

"...in formation."

[bfilak23 0]

Skydiving is like animal porn, its not for everybody

[waveoff5500 0]

after my second jump i asked what the 'tube things on the jumpsuits were for' and i got "OH! those are handles...so we can pick your body up when your parachute doesnt work!"

made me laugh and nervous haha

also right before exit on almost every freefly jump last year "HEY GUYS! IM GONNA RIP THE SHIT OUT OF THIS!"

"its just a normal day at the dropzone until its not"

1653

[crotalus01 0]

Teeshirt: "The restraining order says you can only touch me in freefall..."

As for me and my house, we will serve the LORD...

[mutumbo 0]

Hahaha

Thanatos340(on landing rounds)--
Landing procedure: Hand all the way up, Feet and Knees Together and PLF soon as you get bitch slapped by a planet.

[Yawatuc 0]

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Teeshirt: "The restraining order says you can only touch me in freefall..."

I Love this shirt

[Yawatuc 0]

I was a tragic line student(static line) and I was neverous about climbing out, my instructor Phil Knipp(RIP 2001) told me "Climb out of the plane and just stand there(C-182), Whats the worse that could happen? You fall? Your going to fall anyways so get out there and enjoy it!!"

I still quote him to this day, best advice I ever got!!!

[Yawatuc 0]

1 other quote I rember from him(might not be his but rember him telling me) "Remeber once you leave that airplane you just comitted suiced, the only thing stoping you from hitting the ground is you opening your parachute!!"

[Halfpastniner 0]

"When you die you can't take your money with you, but you CAN take your friends!"

BASE 1384

[CloudOnMyTongue 0]

You have the rest of your life to pull.

[Krip 2]

Hi Mr Sparky

Sorry if this is a repost don't have enough time to read the whole thread.

Who said skydivers are stupid? We invented a whole new way to kill ourselves.

First heard it about 30 yrs ago and it's still true today and for the forseable future.

To bad so sad.

R.