thedude325 0 #101 May 25, 2010 On my first tandem. My Instructor hooks up, spots, leans back in and says "Hold on to your balls, son, it's gonna be one helluva blowjob!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airathanas 0 #102 May 25, 2010 When my tandem students ask about what to do for the landing, I say, "We will go over what to do for the landing when we are under the parachute. If there is no parachute, then we don't have to worry about the landing."http://3ringnecklace.com/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vanair 0 #103 May 25, 2010 Sometime depending on how the student is, when I hook them up for a tandem. I shake the four attachment points and say "Your hooked up here, and your hooked up here. So there's no way you can die alone" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
roostnureye 2 #104 May 26, 2010 to tandem student: you know your instructor gets to jump by himself after 2 more jumps!Flock University FWC / ZFlock B.A.S.E. 1580 Aussie BASE 121 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
beowulf 1 #105 May 26, 2010 QuoteSkydiver to pilot right after the engine quit: "Hang in there, man. I'm going for help." Damn!!!! wish I had thought of saying that the one time the Caravan lost it's engine! All I could think of is getting out of that plane as fast as I could!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 3 #106 May 28, 2010 Some of these would make great tshirts! In fact... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #107 May 28, 2010 The tricky part is throwing yourself at the planet...and missing! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybill 22 #108 May 30, 2010 Hi 126, Snivler:,"Snivle,snivle,snivle!!!" Jumper #1,"Ah' go soak yer socks in gasoline." Snivler:, "Why??" Jumper #1,"Ta' keep the ants from crawlin' up yer' legs and eatin' yer' candy ass!!!!!" SCR-2034, SCS-680 III%, Deli-out Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
E-Lo 0 #109 February 23, 2011 In the hangar, to a tandem rigging up, "listen son, this is where you have to watch your junk." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MrKotter 0 #110 February 23, 2011 A static line instructor to his student, explaining the importance of the attachment point: "There are 3 people responsible for making sure you are hooked up properly. 1) The pilot. It's his plane, and he's in charge. 2) Your instructor. I am responsible for ensuring your safety. 3) YOU. It's your ass out there." "Of these 3 people, in the event you get out and are NOT hooked up, 2 of them will be really sorry, and 1 of them will be REALLY sorry!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Douggarr 6 #111 February 23, 2011 It's bad form to go in without all of your handles pulled.SCR-442, SCS-202, CCR-870, SOS-1353 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coreefdiver 0 #112 February 23, 2011 QuoteQuoteSkydiver to pilot right after the engine quit: "Hang in there, man. I'm going for help." Damn!!!! wish I had thought of saying that the one time the Caravan lost it's engine! All I could think of is getting out of that plane as fast as I could!! lol... I got out after my student in a SLJM course, the engine died shortly therafter.. the Instructor and pilot remained and the pilot did his thing and things went ok from there... but I could just imiagine him saying that and jumping out (oh, C182).DS#727, DB Cooper #41, POPS #11065, SCR #13183, FA #2125, SCS #8306, HALO #309 SRA #5930 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkeenan 14 #113 February 23, 2011 Heard before exit on an RW jump: "Slow is slow, fast is faster. If you don't get in, you're a rotten bastard."_____________________________________ Dude, you are so awesome... Can I be on your ash jump ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BMichaeli 1 #114 February 23, 2011 Quote When the people look like ants-PULL When the ants look like people-PRAY HAHAHAHA!!!!! a lot of these are really really funny "where is my laundry? which on of you idiots grabbed the wrong rig?" this is a BASE one but funny none the less "all of a sudden i was back in the building and said 'dude your back in the building'" a conversation between a tandem student sitting next to me and her TM Student: "have you ever fucked during free fall?" TM "no" Student "are you down to DTF?" TM "ummm.... wait what?" Student "are you down to DTF?" a few min latter TM "ok sit on my lap" Student "With pleasure" when they landed she again asked "are you DTF?" he walked away Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 8 #115 February 23, 2011 Quote a conversation between a tandem student sitting next to me and her TM Student: "have you ever fucked during free fall?" TM "no" Student "are you down to DTF?" TM "ummm.... wait what?" Student "are you down to DTF?" a few min latter TM "ok sit on my lap" Student "With pleasure" when they landed she again asked "are you DTF?" he walked away I don't buy it."I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Niki1 1 #116 February 24, 2011 Quote Quote " HEY ASSHOLE! " Hi Jim, and everybody within shouting distance on the DZ stops what they are doing, turns and looks at "YOU!!?" (I guess they know who they are!!) At my drop zone, EVERYBODY turned around and said, "WHAT?"Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done. Louis D Brandeis Where are we going and why are we in this basket? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Niki1 1 #117 February 24, 2011 QuoteThere I was, no shit. Thought I was gonna die... Wendy P. goin' through a thousand feet with nothing but a silkworm and a sewing machine.Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done. Louis D Brandeis Where are we going and why are we in this basket? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
toffeepoppet 0 #118 February 24, 2011 On my RAPS course I was told to 'push the bush' in order to arch properly. One example was - 'there's a massive penis coming through the letterbox especially for you. You can't open the door. You can't turn around. What do you do? PUSH THE BUSH' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #119 February 24, 2011 Quote Quote There I was, no shit. Thought I was gonna die... Wendy P. goin' through a thousand feet with nothing but a silkworm and a sewing machine. ...needle on my altimeter was right between 'Oh Shit' and 'You're Fucked' ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Niki1 1 #120 February 24, 2011 Quote Sometime depending on how the student is, when I hook them up for a tandem. I shake the four attachment points and say "Your hooked up here, and your hooked up here. So there's no way you can die alone" I always had the idea that if I kept myself safe, the student would be safe. If the student got hury, I was gonna get hurt. Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done. Louis D Brandeis Where are we going and why are we in this basket? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rick 67 #121 February 24, 2011 "Look good, have fun, safety third!" Very Important safety briefing:DON'T FUCKIN DIE!You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Niki1 1 #122 February 24, 2011 QuoteHeard before exit on an RW jump: "Slow is slow, fast is faster. If you don't get in, you're a rotten bastard." I liked, "Slow is smooth and smooth is fast." Doesn't have the rhyme but... And: In the line up just before the count to the person in front of you, "Did you know this about your reserve? Oh well, it'll probably be OK fot this jump."Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done. Louis D Brandeis Where are we going and why are we in this basket? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rick 67 #123 February 24, 2011 "If you see me scared it's already too late." PipYou can't be drunk all day if you don't start early! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Niki1 1 #124 February 24, 2011 Quote"Look good, have fun, safety third!" Very Important safety briefing:DON'T FUCKIN DIE! "This is real dangerous shit so for God's sake, be careful. Get your gear on and I'll see you at the plane in 5 minutes."Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done. Louis D Brandeis Where are we going and why are we in this basket? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
faulknerwn 38 #125 February 24, 2011 Better is - seen on a CRW team t-shirt - Slow is smooth and scared is fast! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
