People who talk shit (lie) about making jumps

[wolfriverjoe 1,523]

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like hitting a swarm of bees @ 7K.....

Don't laugh. You think hitting the pointy tips of raindrops at terminal is bad? Try stingers.

I was thinking the same thing.

But the bee would have to be going head-down in order to hit the stinger.
And I think bees tend to be more towards the conservative side, not the edgy, aggresive, cutting edge kind of stuff like freeflying.

At least every bee I've ever seen was on it's belly.

"There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy

"~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo

[stratostar 5]

Now wasps on the other hand.... those cats are total freak flyers!

you can't pay for kids schoolin' with love of skydiving! ~ Airtwardo

[Krip 2]

Hi Dude

Did the owner of your company ever jump, After you called BS on the barbie doll.

Or did you wait until he became a tandem skydiver before he figured out she was a wanna be skydiver.

Pencil wipping a persons logbook. That should be easy to spot with a trained eye.

Pencil packing a reserve was not unheard of almost back in the day. But things change over the yr's and once I got sloppy showed up at the LP boogie a long time ago and forgot I had used LP as the DZ with my std BS sig.

Fred Sands DZO at LP checked my reserve looks at the packing card it was signed by a rigger at his DZ that didn't exist.

It worked in florida but it wouldn't work at LP. Fred was his usual self.

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Sorry RIP gotta get this repacked before you can jump

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Why

Fred shows me the packing card

After that I got a couple of spare reserve packing cards.

R

One Jump Wonder

[Jumpdude 0]

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Hi Dude

Did the owner of your company ever jump, After you called BS on the barbie doll.

Or did you wait until he became a tandem skydiver before he figured out she was a wanna be skydiver.

Nope, neither have jumped, and every time I see them, I invite them, more specifically her to come out to the DZ and jump with me, but so far, both have declined and she has still yet to prove there is a DZ in Ridgetop. I explained that there are only 4 DZ's in Tennessee, and she still, to this day, swears that there is one in Ridgetop, but will not say where it is. I've called Bullshit so many times that she tries to avoid all contact with me now, but I almost always make an effort to fuck with her about it.


BTW, She's definitely NO Barbie Doll! Not bad looking, but no Barbie!

Refuse to Lose!!!
Failure is NOT an option!
1800skyrideripoff.com
Nashvilleskydiving.org

[Krip 2]

Hi Dude

IMO Your confusing the women with the facts. And women know how to get even

You and her know both know she got busted. Show the poor women some kindness.

I've got a bad case of OLD. Whats the diff between a barbie doll and not bad looking? At the DZ if she's got boobs and can breath she's a keeper.
R.I.P.

One Jump Wonder

[jrmrangers 0]

And as long as there's no stink yet the breathing may be optional!

Wait , I pull what first?

[Jumpdude 0]

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Hi Dude

IMO Your confusing the women with the facts. And women know how to get even

You and her know both know she got busted. Show the poor women some kindness.

I've got a bad case of OLD. Whats the diff between a barbie doll and not bad looking? At the DZ if she's got boobs and can breath she's a keeper.
R.I.P.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! If she were someone else, perhaps someone I met at a bar (if I were to go to one), maybe so, but no kindness to her! She lies about everything and the only one who can't see it is the company owner, I guess he is pussy whooped! Ya think?

Refuse to Lose!!!
Failure is NOT an option!
1800skyrideripoff.com
Nashvilleskydiving.org

[BrokenR1 0]

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Also had this girl I worked with tell me her uncle was addicted to skydiving so bad he is handbuilding a plane so he can jump anywhere. I didnt call her out on it because of work but I wanted to ask her what that has to do with skydiving and how it would get back to the ground after he jumped.

Couldn't this one be true? I've thought it would be cool to do similar. Either buy my own little plane or to build one. It would be fun to fly and when I wanted to jump my brother or someone else could fly it.

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Rap is to music what etch-a-sketch is to art.

[jurgencamps 0]

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So I was reading an on line newspaper from my old home town yesterday and ...

Sadly it happens not only with skydiving. Wannabees bragging about a 18/20 wall they climbed (indoor climbing) (duh, never knew the existence of that ranking system for climbing routes) or some not so good motor bikers trying to swap their brand new, unscratched knee protection pads for used ones with some markings on them from a good motor biker.

[Krip 2]

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Hi Dude

IMO Your confusing the women with the facts. And women know how to get even

You and her know both know she got busted. Show the poor women some kindness.

I've got a bad case of OLD. Whats the diff between a barbie doll and not bad looking? At the DZ if she's got boobs and can breath she's a keeper.
R.I.P.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! If she were someone else, perhaps someone I met at a bar (if I were to go to one), maybe so, but no kindness to her! She lies about everything and the only one who can't see it is the company owner, I guess he is pussy whooped! Ya think?

Hi JD

Score!!!!

Great way to start the weeek off. with a LMAO.

There are many ways to get even with folks by being "kind".

We worked with a junk yard dog (bitch) that was trying to lose weight (slim fast for lunch). So we would lurk dounkin donutes ads for the 2/1 doz special.

The bitch couldn't resist donuts , 2-3 donuts and slim fast for lunch

That was to slow so we added mass qty's of M&M's. Big bags 75% off after the holidays. Had a big ass cookie jar in the form of a pig when someone would lift the lid the pig would go Oink oink.

Everyone caught on to what I was doing except for the slim fast diet bitch. I had mystery donars leaving big ass bags of Holiday M&Ms on my desk. My bottom drawer was full of that crap.

All day Oink Oink Oink, week after week, The slim fast liquid diet never worked for the bitch she was actually gaining weight.

Meeting women at bars Think Tiger Woods.
IMO Your boss is definately doing her, he just doesn't know it yet he's getting screwed more ways than one.
Be subtle, and show no mercy. Pay back is a bitch

Enjoy!!
R.I.P.

One Jump Wonder

[Jumpdude 0]

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Hi Dude

IMO Your confusing the women with the facts. And women know how to get even

You and her know both know she got busted. Show the poor women some kindness.

I've got a bad case of OLD. Whats the diff between a barbie doll and not bad looking? At the DZ if she's got boobs and can breath she's a keeper.
R.I.P.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! If she were someone else, perhaps someone I met at a bar (if I were to go to one), maybe so, but no kindness to her! She lies about everything and the only one who can't see it is the company owner, I guess he is pussy whooped! Ya think?

Hi JD

Score!!!!

Great way to start the weeek off. with a LMAO.

There are many ways to get even with folks by being "kind".

We worked with a junk yard dog (bitch) that was trying to lose weight (slim fast for lunch). So we would lurk dounkin donutes ads for the 2/1 doz special.

The bitch couldn't resist donuts , 2-3 donuts and slim fast for lunch

That was to slow so we added mass qty's of M&M's. Big bags 75% off after the holidays. Had a big ass cookie jar in the form of a pig when someone would lift the lid the pig would go Oink oink.

Everyone caught on to what I was doing except for the slim fast diet bitch. I had mystery donars leaving big ass bags of Holiday M&Ms on my desk. My bottom drawer was full of that crap.

All day Oink Oink Oink, week after week, The slim fast liquid diet never worked for the bitch she was actually gaining weight.

Meeting women at bars Think Tiger Woods.
IMO Your boss is definately doing her, he just doesn't know it yet he's getting screwed more ways than one.
Be subtle, and show no mercy. Pay back is a bitch

Enjoy!!
R.I.P.

Yup! He is definitely getting screwed by her in ways he never thought he could. I LMAO every time he whines about money now days!

Also, I was in the grocery store one day with my kid back near the end of the beeper days, and there was a fat lady in the checkout line, buying a bunch of them slim fast drinks and eating a Milky Way, when her beeper started beeping, My kid yelled "Look out Dad! she's backing up!"

And I don't go to bars. I hate drunks!

Refuse to Lose!!!
Failure is NOT an option!
1800skyrideripoff.com
Nashvilleskydiving.org

[Mikeal 0]

I guess it could be, but coming from this girl I doubt it. She lied about everything from her car to her house. She kept telling us her car had 20,000 dollar rims on it when they were stock cadillac rims.

[Abedy 0]

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And as long as there's no stink yet the breathing may be optional!

As we're already deep in disgusting jokes... reminds me of an old Startrek tagline (good ol' days of Usenet groups):
"She's dead, Jim. But still warm. Let's flip a coin."

The sky is not the limit. The ground is.

The Society of Skydiving Ducks

[Abedy 0]

Some years ago I student of mine told me she was also skydiving. I asked her where, about her rig etc pp. And yeah, she also started by just jumping out of the plane. "I'm jumping with my uncle, but mainly on my own."
She told me, her uncle sometimes practices "Rescue jumps". "They throw dummies out of the plane and jump after them to catch them in the air, ya know!"
Couldn't tell about the equipment of hers, nor the typical altitude or plane. Couldn't even read the altimeter when I brought it in class the next week. That was the kiss of death.
Still wonder why she didn't like me and pulled a face in my classes... But at least I had to admire her stubbornness, she kept to it till the bitter end and told her classmates now and then that she had jumped with her uncle at the weekend, in Bavaria.

(In German, one of the first words that gives the game away is "Reißleine". Only whuffos use it. It's "ripcord" translated literally, but the correct term in German is "Aufzugsleine". She used the whuffo word in one of her first sentences.)

The sky is not the limit. The ground is.

The Society of Skydiving Ducks

[Inspired 0]

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Hi Dude

IMO Your confusing the women with the facts. And women know how to get even

You and her know both know she got busted. Show the poor women some kindness.

I've got a bad case of OLD. Whats the diff between a barbie doll and not bad looking? At the DZ if she's got boobs and can breath she's a keeper.
R.I.P.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!! If she were someone else, perhaps someone I met at a bar (if I were to go to one), maybe so, but no kindness to her! She lies about everything and the only one who can't see it is the company owner, I guess he is pussy whooped! Ya think?

Hi JD

Score!!!!

Great way to start the weeek off. with a LMAO.

There are many ways to get even with folks by being "kind".

We worked with a junk yard dog (bitch) that was trying to lose weight (slim fast for lunch). So we would lurk dounkin donutes ads for the 2/1 doz special.

The bitch couldn't resist donuts , 2-3 donuts and slim fast for lunch

That was to slow so we added mass qty's of M&M's. Big bags 75% off after the holidays. Had a big ass cookie jar in the form of a pig when someone would lift the lid the pig would go Oink oink.

Everyone caught on to what I was doing except for the slim fast diet bitch. I had mystery donars leaving big ass bags of Holiday M&Ms on my desk. My bottom drawer was full of that crap.

All day Oink Oink Oink, week after week, The slim fast liquid diet never worked for the bitch she was actually gaining weight.

Meeting women at bars Think Tiger Woods.
IMO Your boss is definately doing her, he just doesn't know it yet he's getting screwed more ways than one.
Be subtle, and show no mercy. Pay back is a bitch

Enjoy!!
R.I.P.

You seriously need to get a life.

[billvon 2,991]

>All day Oink Oink Oink, week after week, The slim fast liquid diet never worked for
>the bitch she was actually gaining weight.

You and Shah definitely need to meet up.

[Zlew 0]

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LOL yea I left it alone but so wanted to say/post something..... a swarm of bees @ 7K, yea right, must be the only guy I've ever heard of in 35 plus years of skydiving experience hitting a swarm of bees in free fall......

This might not be total bullshit. A "swarm" seems unlikely, but I have seen lots of things up high that I didn't expect.

We had a really bad grasshopper problem in TX in the late 90's. Every step in the landing area would make 20 of them jump..damn things were everywhere. Anyway, I opened on one jump, and looked around and saw hundreds of small "dots" all around me. As I started to fly around I passed several close enough to see what they were. I was in a virtual cloud of grasshoppers at over 2500ft up.

That same year my friend hit one in freefall at about 7,000 FT. Had the guts and parts on her googgles when she landed, and a red face. She said it felt like getting hit in the face with a baseball at close range.

Obviously they can't fly that high... But in the summer in TX we get all sorts of thermals and dust devils that can, and do, lift all sorts of things way the hell up into the sky. I've seen Wal-Mart bags at 7K feet, bugs, grass, and all sorts of other things that take the free ride up. If A grasshopper can make it up that high...I'm sure bees could too.

We had a big slow dust devil roll through the landing area of skydive dallas weekend before last. It was probably 100 yards in diameter, and sucked up corn clippings from the fields they just plowed. From the ground, you could clearly see the clippings were in a "cloud" going up at least to 1K.

[rehmwa 2]

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Actually, I think these threads (and there are many of them!) speak volumes about our insecurities .

Why do we get so wound up about people masquerading as skydivers? I think it's because they're trying to clamber onto the pedestal with us, the Elite Of Humanity. And if they can pass themselves off as our peers - then what's left that makes us look special?

got down to this post and was thinking the same thing


the 'posers' might just be lonely or want to be interesting - or at least they think this will make them more interesting - I don't see a lot of harm in this (exception is the up story where a guy was posing about 'saving' himself and the lead instructor at a local DZ - that's bad for business - slanderous to the instructor)

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

[MikeJD 0]

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>All day Oink Oink Oink, week after week, The slim fast liquid diet never worked for
>the bitch she was actually gaining weight.

You and Shah definitely need to meet up.

I actually think that's a little unfair to Shah! There's stuff in that post that would make even him blush.

[billvon 2,991]

>We had a really bad grasshopper problem in TX in the late 90's.

Yeah, same problem in Montana around that time. I remember hitting about a dozen of the things landing one summer. (Ground level there is 3500 feet.) They'd hurt even under canopy, and they'd get in your parachute and make an ugly stain when they got packed in the main. And they'd wait until you were planing out before they'd take off right in front of you, so there was no way to avoid them.

Hit a swarm of bees at Perris once under canopy at about 2000 feet, so 3000 MSL. I could see them coming but it was too late to avoid them. Fortunately I had a fullface on, and none of them got stuck in my jumpsuit or anything. No stings although again a few wound up in the canopy. They looked like regular honeybees but I'm not an expert.

[Zlew 0]

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nd they'd wait until you were planing out before they'd take off right in front of you, so there was no way to avoid them.

I remember that too! You knew it was a good swoop ("surf" back then) when the little fuckers were playing the drums on your jumpsuit as you hit them as they jumped up in front of you mid swoop.

[JohnRich 4]

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Obviously they can't fly that high... But in the summer in TX we get all sorts of thermals and dust devils that can, and do, lift all sorts of things way the hell up into the sky.

A while back I jumped at Clewiston, Florida, which is surrounded by sugar cane fields. After the cane is harvested, they burn off the stubble to make room to plant the next crop. I once encountered hot glowing embers of cane leaves drifting along in the wind while under canopy. Those things rose way up in the heat of the burning field, and if they touched your canopy, would surely melt a gash in it.

[Squeak 17]

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So I was reading an on line newspaper from my old home town yesterday and ...

Sadly it happens not only with skydiving. Wannabees bragging about a 18/20 wall they climbed (indoor climbing) (duh, never knew the existence of that ranking system for climbing routes) .

We use those sorts of route rankings here in OZ for our indoor climbs
I currently climb 15/16s with a rare (very rare) 17, an 18 0r 20 would be impossible for me but loads of folks here are climbing them and 22s

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[lekstrom10k 0]

We have a guy that claimed to make 6 or 700 jumps last year the computer said 138

[Krip 2]

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>All day Oink Oink Oink, week after week, The slim fast liquid diet never worked for
>the bitch she was actually gaining weight.

You and Shah definitely need to meet up.

Hi Mr Bill and groupies

PA PA, stop picking on me whine whine whine

I'll report your sorry ass to a green hat

PM to follow Don't like it do your thing!

R.I.P.

One Jump Wonder