How old is Tom Dolphin?

[popsjumper 2]

From Missouri River Valley Skydiving web page:

"After a dare by friend Tiny Broadwick, Tom made his first jump static line in 1913 out of a hot air balloon. He's been in the air ever since. In 1940 after a brief stint as a paratrooper General in World War II, he moved to Kansas City and earned several World Records in Canopy relative work competition. Since no one wanted the job of being the asshole dropzone owner, Tom volunteer, signed his soul over to the devil, and bought Missouri River Valley Skydivers drop zone. He has managed it ever since, occasionally unlocking his ball and chain to make a skydive in a pink jumpsuit with fellow dzos."

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[Unstable 9]

lol Tom's a cool guy. I never went to his rigging course, but I've seen his riglets come out of there knowing a trick or two. He's probably in his 60's, not too old. I'll dig around and see if I can't find a picture of Tom.



**edited for a good reason*** Sorry folks!

=========Shaun ==========

[stratostar 5]

I've met that asshole, he's older then dirt and looks gay as hell in that neon pink jumpsuit of his.

you can't pay for kids schoolin' with love of skydiving! ~ Airtwardo

[Unstable 9]

Man, I'm in the wrong thread---- I'll let you two grandpa's battle out who's older....

=========Shaun ==========

[airtwardo 7]

Quote

I've met that asshole, he's older then dirt and looks gay as hell in that neon pink jumpsuit of his.

Sure...pick on the OLD GUY!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Gato 0]

His actual past is shrouded in mystery - we do not speak of it.

I do know that Chuck Norris would never mess with him, though.

T.I.N.S.

[Unstable 9]

Quote

I do know that Chuck Norris would never mess with him, though.

Let's put it this way.

If You have 5 jump tickets, and I have 5 jump tickets; then Tommy Dolphin is about to make 10 jumps.

=========Shaun ==========

[popsjumper 2]

Quote

lol Tom's a cool guy. I never went to his rigging course, but I've seen his riglets come out of there knowing a trick or two. He's probably in his 60's, not too old. I'll dig around and see if I can't find a picture of Tom.

I'm highly impressed that he made his first jump at the prompting of Tiny Broadwick in 1913. He wasn't even a gleam in his Daddy's eye then.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[Unstable 9]

Quote

I'm highly impressed that he made his first jump at the prompting of Tiny Broadwick in 1913. He wasn't even a gleam in his Daddy's eye then.

Dude - you don't understand. Let me put it this way. Once death came for old Man Tom Dolphin, and Tom Round-house kicked death in the face so hard that death swore that day he would never take Tom Dolphin. Ever.

=========Shaun ==========

[chutejump 0]

"I am not old"!!! Just because I started jumping when dirt was white and rocks were soft! Doesn't make me old!!!
The dare with Tiny was later on in life, I got my start assisting Napoleon in Europe with battle plans, until he got the stupid Idea of the march to Russia through the snow! Dumb Ass!
Did I hear mention that some of you fuckers have in your possession some jump tickets? Ok! OK! don't make me hurt you! Just hand them over before the old guy gets PISSED!!! or i send my second in command the "Grim Reaper" to do my light work!!!

"Old age and treachery will always overcome Youth and enthusiasm

"

[chutejump 0]

Dude - you don't understand. Let me put it this way. Once death came for old Man Tom Dolphin, and Tom Round-house kicked death in the face so hard that death swore that day he would never take Tom Dolphin. Ever.

"DEATH" HA! Death is way overrated! In fact I can say from personal experience! Death is a PUSSY!

[Unstable 9]

If you can see Tommy Dolphin, Tommy Dolphin Can see you. If you cannot see Tommy Dolphin, then you may be just moments away from death.

=========Shaun ==========

[airtwardo 7]

Chuck Norris checks under his bed every night for Tom Dolphin!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Unstable 9]

Tom Dolphin can make minute rice in 30 seconds.

=========Shaun ==========

[Hue-janus 0]

At World Freefall one year Tom Dolphin Decided to have a private orgy between himself and six women, (one being my wife!) I dare not protest from fear for my life! The next morning I met Tom Dolphin on a lift and inquired how he enjoyed sex with all those used married women, He responded that it was very good once he got in past the used part!

[fireballgrl 0]

Tommy Dolphin frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

[MrHixxx 0]

It is a dubious question really. You see, Tom is an expert machinist, savant, who actually succeeded in machining and replacing all of his body parts back in the industrial revolution and swapped out his blood with a curious mixture of scotch and antifreeze. So, he has hasn't been human for a couple centuries, or rather organic.

The question of his birth is also in question since most would agree he is of demonic origin. Demon's, being supernatural, originally existed outside of the arch of time.

However, there are widespread accounts of Tom's emergence on this plane of existence from midevil times. As the tale goes, the Devil caught Tom in bed with his wife and daughter, one on each fist. Tom remarked to the devil "You are in time for the matinee, watch these bitches talk". Enraged by the ladies' moans of pleasure, the devil shot fire at Tom who quickly grabbed the bed sheet at all four corners (yes, Tom has opposable toes which he keeps hidden from mortals, another clue to his demonic origin and the devil's bed sheets are known throughout hell for their fire retardant properties) and road the swell of the devils breath up to earth. Today he still walks among us and mocks the devil by shaking both fists at him and manipulating the weak better than he can...

So, I hope this kinda clears things up for everybody.

-Hixxx

death,as men call him, ends what they call men
-but beauty is more now than dying’s when

[chutejump 0]

Quote

It is a dubious question really. You see, Tom is an expert machinist, savant, who actually succeeded in machining and replacing all of his body parts back in the industrial revolution and swapped out his blood with a curious mixture of scotch and antifreeze. So, he has hasn't been human for a couple centuries, or rather organic.

The question of his birth is also in question since most would agree he is of demonic origin. Demon's, being supernatural, originally existed outside of the arch of time.

However, there are widespread accounts of Tom's emergence on this plane of existence from midevil times. As the tale goes, the Devil caught Tom in bed with his wife and daughter, one on each fist. Tom remarked to the devil "You are in time for the matinee, watch these bitches talk". Enraged by the ladies' moans of pleasure, the devil shot fire at Tom who quickly grabbed the bed sheet at all four corners (yes, Tom has opposable toes which he keeps hidden from mortals, another clue to his demonic origin and the devil's bed sheets are known throughout hell for their fire retardant properties) and road the swell of the devils breath up to earth. Today he still walks among us and mocks the devil by shaking both fists at him and manipulating the weak better than he can...



Well that explains alot for me! Hell! when I had that bad dream, I thorught it was from all the Beer, Crown Royal, and Mexican food from the night before!! Whewu! Devil and Demon stuff? Hummmm? Come to think of it maybe it "Was" the Mexican Food! Still feeling the hot breath of Satin on my ass this morning!

• Quote

[mpohl 1]

Some time ago, Tommy Dolphin had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. It has since become known as Red Bull.

[Unstable 9]

On Valentine's Day, Tommy Dolphin gives his wife the still beating heart of one of his enemies. Being very romantic, Tom believes every day should be Valentine's Day.

=========Shaun ==========

[Gato 0]

If you owe Tommy Dolphin your life, you may be able to pay the debt with beer, but you should expect to pay with blood. I'm one of the lucky ones - a case of beer and a quart of blood.

I spent the weekend learning the finer points of his black art, and I can tell you, when you hear his voice over the radio, you will pee a little.

"The bottom is always big, the bottom is always big, the bottom is always big. And while you're wrapping your mind around that, remember that the bottom is always big."

T.I.N.S.

[Unstable 9]

From the MRVS Website....

Quote

At MRVS Tommy Dolphin once brought a dying lamb back to life by nuzzling it with his beard. As the onlookers gathered, the lamb sprang to life. Tom then roundhouse kicked it, killing it instantly. This was just to prove that the good Tom giveth, and the good Tom, he taketh away.

=========Shaun ==========

[Gato 0]

It is a little-known fact that the curved closing pin we use today was actually developed by Tommy Dolphin in the latter half of the 1700s. Its original design was intended as a chastity device he used to keep his harem in line.

I'll let you figure out how it was used.

T.I.N.S.

[Gato 0]

Tommy Dolphin cured his arthritis by drinking rainwater from a wolverine’s footprint.

T.I.N.S.

[freefalling01 0]

Won't that anorexic bastard that keeps trying to run YOUR DZ for you take offense to being demoted? Or are we calling "Oh for the love of god" the grim reaper now?