Friend dies skydiving... little freaked out to get back in the air?
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NickDG 23
>>The latest fatality at Perris hit close to home, she was my friend. I'm feeling a little bit scared to jump,>>
Hi Chelle,
This will always be tough. Yet, one day some years from now, and for better or worse, you'll probably greet news like this as more natural. Knowing friends who have died jumping won't keep you out of the air in the long run. If it did, there'd be no older jumpers on the DZ.
It always helps, however, to know what happened. It's that unknown factor that's adding to your apprehension. Until the facts are in just have fun, and focus on altitude awareness.
In my own case, a lingering fear while jumping has never been all the things we train for, nor the scary things I've seen or read about happening to others. It's always been that one situation where all of a sudden you are thinking, "What the fu*k is this?"
NickD
BASE 194
Hi Chelle,
This will always be tough. Yet, one day some years from now, and for better or worse, you'll probably greet news like this as more natural. Knowing friends who have died jumping won't keep you out of the air in the long run. If it did, there'd be no older jumpers on the DZ.
It always helps, however, to know what happened. It's that unknown factor that's adding to your apprehension. Until the facts are in just have fun, and focus on altitude awareness.
In my own case, a lingering fear while jumping has never been all the things we train for, nor the scary things I've seen or read about happening to others. It's always been that one situation where all of a sudden you are thinking, "What the fu*k is this?"
NickD
BASE 194
Quote
My friend Sandy was critically injured by a freak windshear accident that crushed her face. She was doing everything right, flying a conservative canopy, and was very nearly killed. Going up to the American Boogie that year, I decided to sell my gear. I was in cold sweats thinking about jumping.
>>I remember that. Dust devil over grass, if I remember, invisible. Last time I saw her her jaw was still wired shut but it looked like the reconstructive surgeries went well. Is she pretty much back to normal? Still jumping?
Deuce 1
QuoteQuote
My friend Sandy was critically injured by a freak windshear accident that crushed her face. She was doing everything right, flying a conservative canopy, and was very nearly killed. Going up to the American Boogie that year, I decided to sell my gear. I was in cold sweats thinking about jumping.
>>I remember that. Dust devil over grass, if I remember, invisible. Last time I saw her her jaw was still wired shut but it looked like the reconstructive surgeries went well. Is she pretty much back to normal? Still jumping?
Jumping very rarely, and has another big surgery coming up. I don't think I could do much better. She wasn't doing anything risky or innapropriate and the sport just about killed her.
My friend Amy vonNovak nailed home that point to me during a conversation. She and Bill have been at this longer than me. Skydiving is dangerous. For everybody. Every skydive. I have mangled my knees and busted an ankle and mashed myself a couple times, but never really thought I was in critical danger.
I fool myself.
MJOfireman really said it best when he said we impose a death sentence on ourselves until we take the actions that are necessary to save our lives when we jump.
It's such a joyous thing for me that I rarely see that aspect of it, or refuse to. But it's true.
Be careful. Even being careful, and doing everything right, you can be maimed or killed.
The gear can't murder you though, so there's that...
jose 0
Chelle,
Hey, sorry to hear that it was a friend. I had the same experience the same day up here in Snohomish. Though I could not classify Spencer as my friend, he was a fellow jumper that I just had gotten to know. As far as that goes, you and I were the same perverbial boat, and it sucked.
Here is what I did that day. Jumping was cancelled at the DZ, for good reason. We hung out for a while as everyone was in shock, but people started to leave after a while. My buddy and I left about 2 hours after it happend. We didn't talk right after we left and I had this pressure in my chest that I could not get rid of. It was a physical pressure, not psycological, and I really felt that the only way I could shake it, was to go to another DZ and make a jump. So that is what we did.
We drove another 2 hours up to Pitt, BC with the hopes of doing a jump. We called another buddy up there as no jumpers were at the DZ due to bad ceiling. He met us there so there was 3 of us for a Cessna load. The ceiling ended up being only 3k. We decided that all this effort was to be for nothing, so we went for it. On the ride to altitude, we noticed some Virga (rain that doesn't make it to the surface) right over the airport. Well, this was going to be interesting. So were on jump run and the rain is definitely not just a mist. I climb out and am literally getting pelted, drop off and take the most beautiful sub-termial opening under my X-fire I have ever had. I enjoyed the canopy flight in the rain very much. It was an unusual experience. We all landed and the smiles were large and the laughs loud. The knot was gone, and it was a memorable jump that I am sure I will remember.
Moral to the story? Just learn from others mistakes, make sure it doesn't happen to you and get back out there as soon as you can. More than likely, you will feel much better than you do now.
If you can't get to it right away, that's fine, but make sure you do. I will be there the week of the 23rd to the 30th, and would be more than happy to go up with you to get your butt back on the horse. The jump's on me.
Hey, sorry to hear that it was a friend. I had the same experience the same day up here in Snohomish. Though I could not classify Spencer as my friend, he was a fellow jumper that I just had gotten to know. As far as that goes, you and I were the same perverbial boat, and it sucked.
Here is what I did that day. Jumping was cancelled at the DZ, for good reason. We hung out for a while as everyone was in shock, but people started to leave after a while. My buddy and I left about 2 hours after it happend. We didn't talk right after we left and I had this pressure in my chest that I could not get rid of. It was a physical pressure, not psycological, and I really felt that the only way I could shake it, was to go to another DZ and make a jump. So that is what we did.
We drove another 2 hours up to Pitt, BC with the hopes of doing a jump. We called another buddy up there as no jumpers were at the DZ due to bad ceiling. He met us there so there was 3 of us for a Cessna load. The ceiling ended up being only 3k. We decided that all this effort was to be for nothing, so we went for it. On the ride to altitude, we noticed some Virga (rain that doesn't make it to the surface) right over the airport. Well, this was going to be interesting. So were on jump run and the rain is definitely not just a mist. I climb out and am literally getting pelted, drop off and take the most beautiful sub-termial opening under my X-fire I have ever had. I enjoyed the canopy flight in the rain very much. It was an unusual experience. We all landed and the smiles were large and the laughs loud. The knot was gone, and it was a memorable jump that I am sure I will remember.
Moral to the story? Just learn from others mistakes, make sure it doesn't happen to you and get back out there as soon as you can. More than likely, you will feel much better than you do now.
If you can't get to it right away, that's fine, but make sure you do. I will be there the week of the 23rd to the 30th, and would be more than happy to go up with you to get your butt back on the horse. The jump's on me.
Of course it's normal. I still get freaked out after 10 years.
I have always decided to continue jumping so far.
If you decide to keep jumping, ask yourself if you are doing everything you can to keep yourself alive. What changes might you make?
I've always found, the place I like to honor and remember my lost friends is at altitude, under canopy at sunset.
Good luck with your internal questions. I feel ya!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace and Blue Skies!
Bonnie ==>Gravity Gear!
I have always decided to continue jumping so far.
If you decide to keep jumping, ask yourself if you are doing everything you can to keep yourself alive. What changes might you make?
I've always found, the place I like to honor and remember my lost friends is at altitude, under canopy at sunset.
Good luck with your internal questions. I feel ya!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peace and Blue Skies!
Bonnie ==>Gravity Gear!
Quote
Jumping very rarely, and has another big surgery coming up. I don't think I could do much better. She wasn't doing anything risky or innapropriate and the sport just about killed her.
>>Yeah it was weird, like a giant hand just swatted her out of the sky.
Quote
...Skydiving is dangerous. For everybody. Every skydive...we impose a death sentence on ourselves until we take the actions that are necessary to save our lives when we jump...be careful. Even being careful, and doing everything right, you can be maimed or killed.
>>Amen to that brother. I made 3 today and I was thinking of Sandy. Triple checked everything and had fun. Yahoo.
Jeth 0
Chelle,
I am just wondering how it went for you this weekend. I hope you got back up there and had an awesome skydive in Michele's memory.
I am just wondering how it went for you this weekend. I hope you got back up there and had an awesome skydive in Michele's memory.
"At 13,000 feet nothing else matters."
PFRX!!!!!
Team Funnel #174, Sunshine kisspass #109
My Jump Site
PFRX!!!!!
Team Funnel #174, Sunshine kisspass #109
My Jump Site
Chelle,
I know exactly how you feel. I lost my DZO who was a dear friend four months ago. I say "I" lost him, but we all lost him.
I've made less than 20 jumps since he died. I have definitley had to ease back in to it. I listen to my gut a lot more. If I've made a couple of jumps and dont feel like making any more that day, then I dont.
I have no intention of quitting the sport at this time. But I'm not over his death. A few weeks ago I went to jump at the DZ where I was visiting when I found out that he died. I felt very squirrley about jumping there, even though there was no realistic reason.
All I can say is take your time. Don't let people pressure you to jump jump jump. Jump when it feels good to you, and sit out when you feel scared but remember that you are not alone.
I know exactly how you feel. I lost my DZO who was a dear friend four months ago. I say "I" lost him, but we all lost him.
I've made less than 20 jumps since he died. I have definitley had to ease back in to it. I listen to my gut a lot more. If I've made a couple of jumps and dont feel like making any more that day, then I dont.
I have no intention of quitting the sport at this time. But I'm not over his death. A few weeks ago I went to jump at the DZ where I was visiting when I found out that he died. I felt very squirrley about jumping there, even though there was no realistic reason.
All I can say is take your time. Don't let people pressure you to jump jump jump. Jump when it feels good to you, and sit out when you feel scared but remember that you are not alone.
mustard 0
QuoteSomeone told me when I first began jumping that if I jumped long enough, I would know someone who went in. I did, and I think that statement still holds true today (unfortunately). I chose to make my next jump the same day to "get back on the horse." I'm sure some chose to quit and that's ok, it's a personal decision.
Most of us who have been jumping a while know someone who goes in. I only had 100 jumps when I first saw it happen, and it was a student on his Level IV. I said that day I would never ever take that kind of responsibility for another person.
But I did -- when I got to the place where I wondered what I could offer skydiving, which had given me so much, becoming an instructor seemed to be the way to go. I have never forgotten that student, and I make sure that my students know what to do in any circumstance and then trust them to do it.
The thing is, if we live long enough, we will all know someone who dies... and as much as it hurts, we move through it, because it's part of life. Grieving is a learned process, and unfortunately, we get to learn it the hard way.
We held Safety Day at my DZ yesterday, and we talked about AADs, how they work, and why they need to be understood in all their complexities. It was a great conversation by 50-some skydivers of all abilities, including students. What might have happened to this young woman (possibly turning on her AAD at home) need not happen again, and we took steps down that path yesterday. When you get close to the ground, and something goes wrong, KNOW about that silver handle, and pull it.
Complacency (and lack of knowledge) kills. We sat around yesterday while the wind blew and shared our fears and concerns about skydiving, as well as our knowledge with each other. It was very healing.
***
DJan
Just a little update:
I jumped on Saturday and I feel much better. I made 2 4-way jumps then Michele's memorial jump at sunset. It was beautiful. Didn't go as planned really, but it felt like my goodbye to her. I cried the whole way up and while under canopy and it felt good because I felt like I had her with me the whole time. I get teary eyed just thinking about it. There were Rose petals dropped over the landing area and I picked some up when they landed and put them in the inside pocket of my jumpsuit.
Thank you everyone for being here to listen and share your stories and feelings. It really has helped me.
I jumped on Saturday and I feel much better. I made 2 4-way jumps then Michele's memorial jump at sunset. It was beautiful. Didn't go as planned really, but it felt like my goodbye to her. I cried the whole way up and while under canopy and it felt good because I felt like I had her with me the whole time. I get teary eyed just thinking about it. There were Rose petals dropped over the landing area and I picked some up when they landed and put them in the inside pocket of my jumpsuit.
Thank you everyone for being here to listen and share your stories and feelings. It really has helped me.
tdog 0
QuoteSomeone told me when I fist began jumping that if I jumped long enough, I would know someone who went in. I did, and I think that statement still holds true today (unfortunately). I chose to make my next jump the same day to "get back on the horse." I'm sure some chose to quite and that's ok, it's a personal decision.
If you motorcycle with enough friends you will know someone who dies. If you scuba with enough friends you will know someone who dies. If you make friends, you will know someone who dies.
We just all have a tight knit community here - and that makes it more personal, doesn't it...
QuoteQuoteSomeone told me when I fist began jumping that if I jumped long enough, I would know someone who went in. I did, and I think that statement still holds true today (unfortunately). I chose to make my next jump the same day to "get back on the horse." I'm sure some chose to quite and that's ok, it's a personal decision.
If you motorcycle with enough friends you will know someone who dies. If you scuba with enough friends you will know someone who dies. If you make friends, you will know someone who dies.
We just all have a tight knit community here - and that makes it more personal, doesn't it...
I never scuba dived but I rode with a large group of sport bike riders for 13 years and never knew anyone who died, I have been a competative water-skier since 1989 and never knew anyone who died, I was a skydiver for 8 years and knew 5 people who died....
-----------------------
Roger "Ramjet" Clark
FB# 271, SCR 3245, SCS 1519
One of the hardest facts to get through to new jumpers is sooner or later you are going to know somebody who died in this sport. Skydiving is a mind game and the only way you can play is if your mind is stronger than the game. Sometimes it is a good idea to take some time off and get your head straight For others its getting back on the horse. I can't tell you what to do just rember one thing complacency kills in this sport and if you can't answer the question"ARE YOU READY TO SKYDIVE?"
with a resounding "HELL YES!" Then you might want to think about it.
with a resounding "HELL YES!" Then you might want to think about it.
Hello Chelle,
Glad to hear you were able to make your jumps and honor your friend. From your posts, I think you're the kind of person that Michele was proud to be friends with.
Take care and blue skies,
Glad to hear you were able to make your jumps and honor your friend. From your posts, I think you're the kind of person that Michele was proud to be friends with.
Take care and blue skies,
"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it"
RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?"
RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?"
Designer 0
Oh it's normal.Sometimes it takes as long as it takes to get back into jumping again.Some of us have taken as much as a year off from the sport to recover from the loss of friends.Just do what ya gotta do to get it clear from your head.Some recover faster than others,some never recover.Good Luck,part of this sport is getting over the loss of others.
Antidote 0
QuoteMy friend Sandy was critically injured by a freak windshear accident that crushed her face. She was doing everything right, flying a conservative canopy, and was very nearly killed. Going up to the American Boogie that year, I decided to sell my gear. I was in cold sweats thinking about jumping.
Good people make mistakes and die. I have gone to more cop funerals than skydiving ones, but the circumstances are similar. People we love who have made a split second mistake and have died.
Skydiving may not be worth the risks.
Niether may be working in the military or policework.
What do you want? How much are you willing to pay for it?
Well put. I wonder though why generally students aren't graphically told about the potential outcome - not just that it's potentially dangerous, but more details about just what can go wrong. Maybe it's bad for business to scare away potential customers but I think most DZOs have enough conscience not to think solely about money.
I know there are some instructors who are really good at laying out the risks in a factual way, but most students I've talked to have little real understanding of the risks. One said I was being macho when I answered his question about how I perceived the risks. Another stopped completely after hearing the 1/1000 a year number.
The more I jump, the more I understand the risks. As a student I thought it was more of a freak thing, but that is sadly not the case.
labrys 0
There's a passage in one of my favorite books that speaks to fear:
I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true
opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever,
treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no
decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy.
It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with
unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One
moment you are feeling calm, self possessed, happy.
Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered
doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets
disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But
disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does
away with it with little trouble. You become anxious.
Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured.
Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons
technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior
tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is
laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your
anxiety becomes dread.
Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already
aware that something terribly wrong is going on.
Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your
guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue
drops off like an opossum, while your jaw begins to
gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles
begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees
shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains
too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so
with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the
manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes
work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.
Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last
allies: hope and trust. There, you’ve defeated
yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has
triumphed over you.
The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear,
real fear, such as it shakes you to your foundation,
such as you feel when you are brought face to face with
your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a
gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words
with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to
express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of
words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear
becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps
even manage to forget, you open yourself to further
attacks of fear because you have never truly fought the
opponent who defeated you.
From "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel
I must say a word about fear. It is life’s only true
opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever,
treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no
decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy.
It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with
unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One
moment you are feeling calm, self possessed, happy.
Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered
doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets
disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But
disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does
away with it with little trouble. You become anxious.
Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured.
Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons
technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior
tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is
laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your
anxiety becomes dread.
Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already
aware that something terribly wrong is going on.
Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your
guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue
drops off like an opossum, while your jaw begins to
gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles
begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees
shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains
too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so
with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the
manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes
work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.
Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last
allies: hope and trust. There, you’ve defeated
yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has
triumphed over you.
The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear,
real fear, such as it shakes you to your foundation,
such as you feel when you are brought face to face with
your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a
gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words
with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to
express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of
words upon it. Because if you don’t, if your fear
becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps
even manage to forget, you open yourself to further
attacks of fear because you have never truly fought the
opponent who defeated you.
From "Life of Pi" by Yann Martel
Owned by Remi #?
This is extremely good advice, you should know all there is to know about the equipment you jump.
A comment about AADs in the old days was made that probably still applies. The old Sentinel AAD had to be calibrated before the jump at the drop zone to be jumped. I remember an instructor who didn't fully understand what that meant and having forgotten to calibrate his students AAD, did so on jump run. The student found themselves under a reserve soon after exiting the aircraft. This could have been much worse if the student had been deploying the main at the same time...
Someone told me when I fist began jumping that if I jumped long enough, I would know someone who went in. I did, and I think that statement still holds true today (unfortunately). I chose to make my next jump the same day to "get back on the horse." I'm sure some chose to quite and that's ok, it's a personal decision.
-----------------------
Roger "Ramjet" Clark
FB# 271, SCR 3245, SCS 1519
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