Sletzer 3 #1 May 29, 2008 I just spoke with someone at USPA and my B license is in the mail! Boooyaaaa! Night jumps, here I come! BTW, I feel that I have now mastered every aspect of skydiving, even the ones I know nothing about. If you have any questions I will gladly answer them with some kind of snazzy quip. As a matter of fact, I will now be roaming the DZ passing out advice to everyone, whether they want it or not. I will also be weighing in on other people's conversations, and constantly refer to my "mad skillz" whenever someone questions my canopy size or descision to do large headown formations with 3 freefly jumps to my name. Yes, you are now all beneath me, and if you're lucky I might check your pin, but maybe not. Come to think of it, I will no longer check my own pin, or handles prior to exiting the aircraft. If something goes wrong, my skillz will save me. I have removed my AAD, RSL, and will no longer be wearing goggles or a helmet in freefall. My skillz will now allow my head to recover from a mid-air impact before I myself impact the ground. I've sewn a pouch inside my jumpsuit where I will now be keeping glass beer bottles for consumption under canopy, and have purchased a butane lighter so I can now smoke under canopy as well. I will now be landing cross or downwind on every jump for "fun," and to make it a little more exciting for the students I will be impressing. With my mad skillz I will now be carrying pepper spray to keep all the DZ girls off of me. Come to think of it, forget the pepper spray, I will bed them all before the night is through. If you need to talk about something, I will pretend to listen untill I find someone cooler to talk to, leaving you standing there in mid sentence. I have decided to mount a camera on a ringsite-like attachment aimed at my face so I can capture images of my incredible self skydiving. Who cares about the others on the jump? I only care about me. So should you. I am now a god of the sky, or should I call it skygod? Yes, that has a nice ring to it. From this day forward I will now be referd to as the skygod. Now get out of my way while I hit on your girlfriend. Seriously, JUST KIDDING!!!!! Thanks to everyone who's helped me to not suck quite as bad at everything skydiving related. Time to keep learning!I will be kissing hands and shaking babies all afternoon. Thanks for all your support! *bows* SCS #8251 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DougH 270 #2 May 29, 2008 Every one knows that you need Shoe-view to get proper sky god self portraits. Thanks for the laugh. "The restraining order says you're only allowed to touch me in freefall" =P Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scoop 0 #3 May 29, 2008 Very funny, well done! I'm going to try and get these pesky landings sorted a bit more accurate and do some water training and try to get my B soon too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grimmie 186 #4 May 29, 2008 If you ever come out West can I PLEASE have the honor of your presence? To hang with a skygod of your mad skillz would be epic! I'll bring the Mt. Dew and we'll do some Xtreme stuff!!!! I hope the moonlight is bright enough to see your 720 carve with your velocity over the swoop pond and into some looser's girlfriends arms on Youtube!!! Great post! Thanks for the laughs!!!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydemon2 0 #5 May 29, 2008 Congrads!! So can you explain "relative gravitational wind " in a scientific way so I can understand it?Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pilot-one 0 #6 May 29, 2008 Very nice..All kidding aside, although exagerated, there is some truth to what you write. We've got one at our DZ right now. What a PITA Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Orange1 0 #7 May 29, 2008 Skydiving: wasting fossil fuels just for fun. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
countzero 7 #8 May 29, 2008 your forgot- "packers will fight over who get to pack my rig just to be able to touch the gear of a skygod. and other jumpers will find it an honor to cover the skygod's slot when they go low or otherwise c=screw up the dive the skygod so graciously allowed them to bo on with him."diamonds are a dawgs best friend Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
firstime 0 #9 May 30, 2008 87 jumps and you are that perspective.... good job... it was a funny piece Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #10 May 30, 2008 Does this mean you won't be fondling MY gear anymore? My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tmaricle55 0 #11 May 30, 2008 VERY funny stuff.... see you in a few days! Muff Brother # 3883, SCR # 14796 ICD # 1 - Pres. Yeah, I noticed and I think it's funny! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micduran 0 #12 May 30, 2008 Wow, I hope you keep that perspective and sense of humor. We could all use a dose it every now and again. Be patient with the faults of others; they have to be patient with yours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #13 May 30, 2008 Quote Does this mean you won't be fondling MY gear anymore? Prolly not...the 1st line said 'Night Jumps here I come!' ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jumpin_Jan 1 #14 May 30, 2008 Your quest for perfection is not over yet, When you get your C license you can start wearing a helmet again provided it is purple. AND You can become a SASTA (no minimum requirement) Self Appointed Safety & Training Advisor Don't forget to add your title to your sig!!! PULL! jumpin_Jan"Dangerous toys are fun but ya could get hurt" -- Vash The Stampede Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sletzer 3 #15 May 31, 2008 Quote Does this mean you won't be fondling MY gear anymore? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prolly not...the 1st line said 'Night Jumps here I come!' From now on the only gear I will be fondling will be my own, or maybe Mouse's, but that's about it. And night jumping? I'll jump just about anything at night I will be kissing hands and shaking babies all afternoon. Thanks for all your support! *bows* SCS #8251 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtval 0 #16 May 31, 2008 Damn I knew someone would eventually knock me out of contention. at least its someone as new as you. I'd hate to be replaced with someone who was half way through their career.Congrats on the "B" But you ain't no skygod til youve jumped without a rig. My photos My Videos Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The_Don 0 #17 May 31, 2008 Hey "SKYGOD" ..... I think your altimeter is stuck! I am NOT being loud. I'm being enthusiastic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davadikian 1 #18 May 31, 2008 Skygods don't wear altimeters, they just use their keen skillz to "know" how high/low to pull... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #19 May 31, 2008 cute writeup... here's to your first night jump http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeZcsPAZOXA&feature=related _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sletzer 3 #20 May 31, 2008 Quote Hey "SKYGOD" ..... I think your altimeter is stuck! Ohhhhhh, now that one stung a little Quote Skygods don't wear altimeters, they just use their keen skillz to "know" how high/low to pull... But what he said, with my superior EeEXXTTReeeEEMMEee mad skillz I will no longer be using an altimeter, stuck or not. I will now simply pull "when I feel like it." I wouldn't advise that to anyone else. Please rememeber, I am the skygod. Don't try this at home I will be kissing hands and shaking babies all afternoon. Thanks for all your support! *bows* SCS #8251 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lastchance 0 #21 May 31, 2008 Good stuff. You can walk away from me in mid sentence anytime. I would be honored. I now bow down before you and graciously kiss your toes. Oh yes. I almost forgot. My girlfriend screams your name every time we have sex. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I may be getting old but I got to see all the cool bands. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rynodigsmusic 0 #22 May 31, 2008 this is by far the funniest thing I have read on this site. Great skillz!!!! Come to think of it, why do you even need a parachute with skillz like these??...JUST KIDDING THERE"We didn't start the fire" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #23 May 31, 2008 Is this what you look like demonstrating your skygod skillz? _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rynodigsmusic 0 #24 May 31, 2008 Quote Is this what you look like demonstrating your skygod skillz? "We didn't start the fire" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #25 June 1, 2008 Quote Is this what you look like demonstrating your skygod skillz? The SKYGODS were so much easier to recognise in the old days! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
