Lost Motivation

[Thijs 0]

December last year, I decided to take a temporary break from jumping.
I had the feeling that I wasn't getting anything done on my jumps, I didn't feel that I was really progressing.
However, my main reason for taking a break, was that I didn't get along with most of the people at the dz. I didn't find many like-minded people to jump with. A lot of people are laughing with me quite often (especially on the Beglium internet forum) and I have the feeling that most of them never take me serious. Maybe because I'm just 19 people think I can't say anything.

I don't know what to do with jumping anymore. I don't want to go back to my dz.
Should I just stop jumping? Or maybe stop jumping for a few years (maybe untill I'm out of school)?

[rhys 0]

The decision is yours,

Maybe you should try a different approach. You live in Belgium so it is not hard to travel to different places. you can travel to a boogie somewhere or a busy DZ with plenty going on.

I have worked and played at some drop zones where the people are clicky or just completely different to me.

This is not the fault of the sport but the place and people you are jumping with.

I would suggest saving the money you would usually spend on Jumping and go to a boogie or a DZ that runs all week.

My specific Suggestion Is 'Stockholm's parachute club' in Sweden.

The jumps are cheap, the aircraft are cool (twin otter and an Antanov 28) and the people are nice. you will find all disciplines being performed there and you can stay for free on the drop zone in the bunkhouse.

A change is as good as a holiday!

chin up.


Rhys

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[Thijs 0]

Thanks, but I don't think that this is really a solution.
I would like to be a bit current, so I can't really travel that far.

[Marios 0]

Hello my friend,

I checked at the dropzones section and saw that in Belgium there are 8 dropzones. Ofcourse I do not know how many of them are active. You can maybe try some dzs in Holland, France or Germany (it depends where you live).
So maybe if you check out a new dropzone and get some coaching were you are going to set some goals to achieve then you will find that lost motivation).
It is too much of a wonderful sport to quit. Plus at your age with 80 jumps already I would stop for anything in the world.

[Pulse 0]

When you say "like-minded people" what do you mean? How are they not similar to you?

"Any language where the unassuming word fly signifies an annoying insect, a means of travel, and a critical part of a gentleman's apparel is clearly asking to be mangled."

[sparkie 0]

I'd try and get your licences and get qualified to jump with others if you are not already. (guessing no because you dont have your A yet)

I had a bit of s slum (veeerrrry short, like 2 minutes or so) a while back so I started focusing on getting "stuff" done every jump. I now have my A and well on my way to getting B and qualified to jumping with others.

Goofing around with others in FF is loads of fun and can bond you to more people faster than solo-ing all the time.

hth

[Thijs 0]

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I'd try and get your licences and get qualified to jump with others if you are not already. (guessing no because you dont have your A yet)

Here you don't need to have a licence to be able to jump with other people. You just need to be off student status (which I am).
I never bothered getting a license, since I don't need them over here.

[Fast 0]

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I'd try and get your licences and get qualified to jump with others if you are not already. (guessing no because you dont have your A yet)

Here you don't need to have a licence to be able to jump with other people. You just need to be off student status (which I am).
I never bothered getting a license, since I don't need them over here.

From what you are saying, you need a change of scenery. I don't know how things in europe work, but in the US even a year can completely change the vibe of a DZ. People come and go. Getting along with people at a DZ is a push and pull type of experience.

If the place you are jumping doesn't work, look around, find the next closest place to where you live that you can easily get to and try that. If you really want to skydive it won't be a question of "is this too much to deal with." If it is, maybe the sport isn't for you. I do think you should at least give it a try with a weekend or two at another dz.

~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

[Andy9o8 2]

I don't know you, and thus I don't know what type of personality you have, but when I see someone write:

"A lot of people are laughing with me quite often (especially on the ... internet forum) and I have the feeling that most of them never take me serious. Maybe because I'm just 19 people think I can't say anything. "

...it makes me wonder whether your mouth is getting you in trouble a bit, for speaking and giving out unsolicited opinions, when you should be listening and learning. I have seen this happen to many newbie jumpers at your age, who are so enthusiastic about what they think that they shoot their mouths off a bit too much and wind up getting ostracized. It may not be fair, but that's the way it works.

Since you've already got yourself a reputation at your home DZ, going to a new DZ might be a good idea. But remember: a fresh start at a new place will only help you if you watch your own demeanor and act humble. This may require some conscious self-discipline on your part.

[Thijs 0]

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...it makes me wonder whether your mouth is getting you in trouble a bit, for speaking and giving out unsolicited opinions, when you should be listening and learning. I have seen this happen to many newbie jumpers at your age, who are so enthusiastic about what they think that they shoot their mouths off a bit too much and wind up getting ostracized. It may not be fair, but that's the way it works.

I think that this might be a factor.
I rarely say anything at the dz (they simply don't let me speak there, or they just ignore me).
However, on the internet forum I used to speak a lot (not anymore since I'm permanently banned there). However, the other dz's from Flanders are also on the same board, so just changing dz might not help

[DougH 270]

Why don't you just own up to what ever trouble you caused on the message board, and apologise to the people who are giving you a hard time.

"The restraining order says you're only allowed to touch me in freefall"
=P

[Legs 0]

How much do you want this?

If the answer is not very much then your relationships with others may not seem like something you should work on............However, if the answer (like mine) is so much it hurts when Im not jumping then you can work hard to put the past behind you, find ways around the negativety and progress. One day it will be you that everyone looks up to, just be sure that you remember your own experiences as a newb.

One idea is to stay at the DZ on a friday and buy some beers, share some leisure time. I dont know many skydivers who turn down a beer.

Good luck with your decision,

With love in Christ

[MortalWombat 0]

firstly, try not to worry too much.

it's easy to say silly things or wahtever on tinternet, maybe after a few drinks, heh, we all do it...

try another DZ if it's really bugging you. Most people are alright and they'll not have made their minds up over a few forum posts.

isn't there a natural thing about getting left out a bit when you're a 100 jump wonder? like, you're not really that experienced that epople wanna jump with you but you're bored with jumping on your own...

isn't that something that happens to a lot of people?

*edit*

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One idea is to stay at the DZ on a friday and buy some beers, share some leisure time. I dont know many skydivers who turn down a beer.

Good luck with your decision,

^^^ very good idea! beer ftw tbh!

The only thing stopping you is all the people that want to stop you!

[fonz 0]

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I don't know how things in europe work, but in the US even a year can completely change the vibe of a DZ. People come and go. Getting along with people at a DZ is a push and pull type of experience.

Over here (Belgium/Holland) it's not that easy. Of course occasionally somebody changes home-DZs but in general there's not much of a come and go situation. People tend to stick around. Also, because both Holland and Belgium are very small countries, many people know each other. Even across dropzones. The jumping community here is pretty closely-knit.

To the OP:

Going to another DZ is at least worth a shot. You'll probably bump into some of the people who are not accepting you at your current home-DZ but different DZs have different vibes and if you can work your way into "the gang" at one DZ, it might lead to the people who are rejecting you now accepting you after all.

Also, since you mention the valschermsport forum, it's my experience that some people's behaviour significantly differs between the Internet and real life. People can be a real pain in the butt on forums but much more friendly in real life. So if I were you I would take the beating you get on the belgian forum (I read it so I know what you mean) with a grain of salt and only worry about how you are treated in real life.

To conclude, I somehow feel like adding my own personal story to this.

First of all, I have a speech impediment. I was born with a ruptured palate and although it was surgically corrected in my childhood, the speech impediment is permanent and cannot be helped. Some people seem to hardly notice it, some people can hardly understand a word I'm saying, a very few people like to make fun of it (if it's a good joke in good taste I'll certainlly laugh about it and if it's meant to be mean, just f*** the bastard) and even fewer people treat me like an idiot or a freak. I never ask for pity. I was born with this "malfunction". so to say, it is not my fault and it simply is the way it is. I've learned to not make a big deal of it and to differentiate between people who can see past it and people who can't or won't. Behind the funny-sounding dude there's a normal person with normal feelings, normal opinions, normal desires, normal interests and normal whatever.

Obviously, when I took up skydiving, my speech impediment made me worry about being accepted. But fortunately, I found most skydivers to be very open-minded. Most people I've met at various DZs seem to realize that my speech impediment doesn't make me less a skydiver. Of course some jumpers act(ed) nastily, but an overwhelming majority treats me just like they would any other skydiver. That is the case over here in Holland and it was even more so at Perris. Perhaps being a foreigner helped, but when I was at Perris for my AFF not a single person treated me badly or made me feel unwelcome. And if they had done so, I guess that Claude (rest in peace my old friend) probably would have kicked their asses. As would some of the others. Even skygods such as Jim Slaton and Eli Thompson were very friendly and treated me just like they would anybody else.

In addition to this, I am very curious, investigative, consider myself to be fairly intelligent, am very much interested in gear and how and why it works, often have opinions on things and am not afraid to voice that opinion. I probably talk and post too much for a person with my jump numbers, but when I have a question or think I know an answer I'm generally quick to respond. This character trait sometimes aggrevates people. The most obvious example is when some people at my home-DZ were not happy and decided to start their own DZ with their own plane, their own gear, their own name, their own dogs and whatnot, but at the same airport. I never made a secret of how I thought about their endeavor and even got asked as a columnist. Being very outspoken has made me some enemies here and there and has cost me a few friendships. But fact of the matter is that I feel that people should accept me for who or what I am and what I think. If they won't, it's their problem. Not mine.

I'm not sure why I'm telling all of this now, except that I think that maybe I can somehow relate to the OP's feeling of being an outcast.

Alphons

And five hundred entirely naked women dropped out of the sky on parachutes.
-- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

[FallingDuck 0]

It sounds like your best bet is to find a different DZ. I don't know if there is another one near you that you can try. One that is near a university would be better because there will probably be more young skydivers there. The other option, if you don't want to take a break, is to just jump. Once you get some higher numbers there should be less trouble at the DZ. Probably around 250-300 jumps.

[Fast 0]

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...it makes me wonder whether your mouth is getting you in trouble a bit, for speaking and giving out unsolicited opinions, when you should be listening and learning. I have seen this happen to many newbie jumpers at your age, who are so enthusiastic about what they think that they shoot their mouths off a bit too much and wind up getting ostracized. It may not be fair, but that's the way it works.

I think that this might be a factor.
I rarely say anything at the dz (they simply don't let me speak there, or they just ignore me).
However, on the internet forum I used to speak a lot (not anymore since I'm permanently banned there). However, the other dz's from Flanders are also on the same board, so just changing dz might not help

That right there is an important factor. Like others have said, own up to the mistakes you have made. People seem to forget that you can't be an asshole on the internet and expect it to not affect you when you step away from the computer. I am not saying that is what you did, but my guess is you pushed the limits of what is acceptable. The question now is how badly do you want to skydive.

~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

[Belgian_Skygirl 0]

Hi Thijs,

We know each other a little bit and I don't think there is anything wrong with you. I used to jump at your dz (I am having a break due to personal matters), but people at you dz are fun and so are you.

Maybe, just maybe you should accept (and so do the fellow jumpers) that people are unique and have different characters... and even on the forum, it is not always about being right or not... sometimes people just have to watch themselves first. It happens that people do not match together, and maybe this should be accepted by everybody.


I like most people and get along with most people... serious people but fun people as well... and yes, when I read on our forum, you sometimes have a point (I think, but as I haven't jumped for a while, I don't know what things are like right now at our dz), but other people are sometimes right as well... and when you say things maybe the wrong people take it personal?

However, I like you, and I like the other jumpers as well and I hope to see all of you very soon.

I agree with what is told here... maybe you should change dz... maybe you should change your behaviour to make sure that other people's behaviour will change along. Maybe it is nobody's fault that you feel bad and unaccepted, but maybe it just happened and I am sure it is all due to misunderstanding each other...

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No dive, like skydive... wanna bet on it?

[elias123 0]

I second

"In a mad world, only the mad are sane"

[Thijs 0]

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That right there is an important factor. Like others have said, own up to the mistakes you have made. People seem to forget that you can't be an asshole on the internet and expect it to not affect you when you step away from the computer. I am not saying that is what you did, but my guess is you pushed the limits of what is acceptable. The question now is how badly do you want to skydive.

It is easy for them to ignore me at the dropzone, but on a public board it is much harder to do this.
I think it is best for me to keep a low profile at the dropzone if I go back.

[Andy9o8 2]

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... maybe you should change dz... maybe you should change your behaviour to make sure that other people's behaviour will change along. Maybe it is nobody's fault that you feel bad and unaccepted, but maybe it just happened

Or maybe you're just weird. Some people are just plain weird. Maybe you're one of them. Could be worse. At least you're not an axe murderer.





Are you?

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I think it is best for me to keep a low profile at the dropzone if I go back.

Damned good idea.

[fredjelagrange 0]

hey Thijs...

don't worry about it too much...
I've been in your situation, and most of us do
experience the same, whether after one year or after 300 jumps
a lot of people get a burn out and quit the sport at this point (seen it over the last 10 years)

I see it this way
you live for your parachute and get the FUN out of it,

OR you live for the dropzone (which you shouldn't,)
They will continue anyway whether you are there or not

Keep this in mind...
There are good friends and bad friends...
and maybe your good friends you think they are, might just be the ones who talk bahind your back and put you in this unfortunate situation...

I've been there, and every year I meet new friends and I loose friends just because that's the way it goes...

The only advise which remains :

Stay "low profile", don't hang around on forums too much but stick to your studying during the week, change to ANOTHER DISCIPLINE and be ready to do some more funjumps with people arriving this new season (don't forget that)
and most of all... know your friends

you know me...
good luck

[Belgian_Skygirl 0]

Maybe you should just stand up and say... I can be fun too! You shouldn't keep a low profile at the dz, just give people the oppportunity to see another side from you as well and maybe it is better to keep a low profile on our Belgian forum. And maybe just go with the flow... I know you are cool, OK maybe you think too much about some things but that makes part of who you are. But on the internet sometimes you sound like a teacher... this has got nothing to do with you being right or not,... I think people don't like that... and I know your concern is to jump. The reactions are not fun, I know... but maybe you should judge a little bit less... I think everybody has an opinion, but spreading it... sometimes it is not worthed... maybe you still don't have the authority and it is not accepted.

I repeat, I haven(t jumped for a while, I don't have much experience and it is not about being right or wrong... it is just about: what can we do to help you to regain motivation...

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No dive, like skydive... wanna bet on it?

[PeterB 0]

I mean it's just ordinary group dynamics but in a DZ setting. The extraordinary thing about DZs is that you get exposed to a lot of people you wouldn't otherwise meet because of how we select the people we want to be surrounded by. How well people get along has a lot to do about how well people are able to assess the situation and find workarounds.

Sure, your normal behavior might be teh winnar. Could also be that the same thing that makes you endearing to your normal homogenous group of friends just pisses off the majority of the heterogenous group of jumpers at the DZ.

The thing about the small European countries is that the DZs there usually are small with tight knit communities. Just like every other DZ I've visited around the world, there's a pecking order.

If a newbie shoots his or her mouth and is full of doo doo it doesn't take much for everyone to know and for the word to spread.

Basically don't lecture people with 100 times more experience than you. Don't be a smart ass, don't pretend you know everything and don't challenge the alphas unless you know you're gonna win. You only need to lose a couple of fights with the alphas and your reputation and credibility is toast. Pick your fights and ignore the bullshit. Realize that you ain't got a right to be heard and respect is earned, not given.

Then after a couple of years things will have settled and you can tell everyone to go fuck themselves. I do this almost every weekend, it's a much appreciated service rendered to the needy.

It might not be everyone else that's the problem. Maybe it's the OP. Then again, the world is full of assholes who tell people to go fuck themselves.

[tbrown 26]

Well Thijs, I used to feel the same way a lot when I was a 19 year old struggling newbie. All talk about "the great people" aside (and there really are SOME great people), there are a lot of merciless egomaniacs in this sport. On a certain level it really is a jock culture.

But I guess the question I have for you is whether you only feel this way about jumping, or is this a more general feeling you have about life and the things and people you're involved with. Friendships, relationships, and so forth. I was very awkward with all of those at your age and very much a loner type.

I really wanted to skydive though and stuck with it and somehow started getting the hang of it inspite of myself. And I just kept showing up and that alone earned me some kind of respect and I started making more friends at the dropzone. To this day, and I'm over fifty now, I'm still no social butterfly and fairly comfortable with being something of a loner most of the time. But skydiving more than anything else helped me crawl out of my shell and gave me more confidence with people because it was fun and I had to work at making friends with other jumpers.

You're not ever going to make friends with everybody, nobody ever does. Some people in life just aren't going to like you ever and there's nothing you can do about it. But that's nothing to worry about, because the people who will like you and respect you (and even go to bed with you and love you) are out there - but YOU have to find them.

Whether the path to finding those people includes skydiving or not is up to you, but the path is out there somewhere for you to find. Good luck & happy hunting.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[Jumpinjojo 0]

No don't give up, you have as much right as any1 to learn the sport. Don't let these people put you off!! Could you not find a new DZ if things are that bad at your current DZ.

Good luck & don't give up, i wish i started skydiving at 19 then i would have got 11 more years in the great sport, don't let them people take that away from you.