Instructors dating students???????

[MrJones 0]

Heard of some DZ's having this rule and in light of the recent Media circus it seems to make sense.

What are your thoughts?????

NUR ZUM SPASS

[PhreeZone 20]

Absolutley not. I know more then 1 instructor thats gone down that path. Most the time it ends with the student quiting the sport once the break up happens.

I has started to see one of my old students, I walked away from coaching and instructing her as soon as I asked her out. I know how easy a trap it is to fall into and I wanted nothing to do with it. The student gets lower quality instruction and the instructor gets too many added distractions.

Instructors that use their ratings as a way into someones pants are the worst type of instructors out there in my opinion.

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

[MrJones 0]

I agree with you Phree. Students are only students for so long and attention needs to stay on the training and learing the things that save our ass.

NUR ZUM SPASS

[windcatcher 0]

Just as in if I become a counselor, I will try to eliminate dual relationships with clients ( like dating them), same thing goes for students dating instructors.
Objectivity can get in the way, and think about what would happen if a skydiving student cheated on their instructor and the instructor found out...and that somehow allowed angry feelings to get in the way of training.

IMHO, nothing good can come from skydiving students dating their instructor. ( unless the instructor is teaching them something other than skydiving! )

Mother to the cutest little thing in the world...

[Tenshi 0]

Don't really care.

[pjchis 0]

Romantic relationships in any situation cloud human judgement. Now in an unforgiving sport like skydiving, that's a conflict of roles and interests that could result in a fatality. Using the example of Shayna and her sensationalized "failed main" story that's been in what seems like every paper and every news channel from here to the moon, it makes you wonder how responsible the instructor/boyfriend dynamic was for her poor decision-making that day.

So expanding on this idea, what about two jumpers that meet at a dropzone and start dating? Or a boy/girl getting their significant other into the sport?

Any danger or conflict of interest there or is it only the teacher/student roles that cause the problems?

[Peej 0]

Quote

So expanding on this idea, what about two jumpers that meet at a dropzone and start dating?

Any danger or conflict of interest there?

Only if she's better than you!

Haha, kidding.

My current SO and i have been dating for nearly six months without problems. She's the second jumper i've dated and i must say i really like being able to share the jumping experience with someone i care about romantically.

It's also cool because she understands why i want to be at the DZ all weekend!

I do think it has it's pros and cons though, i've seen skydiver couples that only have jumping in common, take them away from the dz and they have nothing to talk about.

Quote

Or a boy/girl getting their significant other into the sport?

As long as it's for the right reasons i think it's cool.

Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky

[SkymonkeyONE 4]

Quote

Heard of some DZ's having this rule and in light of the recent Media circus it seems to make sense.

What are your thoughts?????

We have no tollerance for this at our dropzone. It is utterly unprofessional.

Chuck

[lisamariewillbe 1]

Most everyone knows it isnt good to mix business and pleasure... Im surprised that so many people think it is OK to date their instructor ... Ive jumped once with my BF... it was NOT supposed to be a coach jump, just a kiss pass... he tried coaching me while in the air by giving me hand signals... the wrong ones I might add... have not jumped together since... until I have better skills I choose to leave him out of my jumps... to much pressure

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[daniel_owen_uk 0]

I am not convinced that work should interfere with person life, if someone tells me that I can't date someone from work, I will tell them its non of their business.

That said if an instructor is going to date a student then they should still maintain all the safety and good advice which go along with this.

The whole Shana media circus probably wouldn't have happened if the instructor in question gave proper advice and put her out on the correct sized canopy (that's the impression I get from what I have read, its my personal opinion and is not gospel).

__________________

BOOM Headshot

[skyfreek 1]

i have seen instructors chase a number of students away from the sport.although there is no real way of knowing if they would have stuck with the sport if they had not been a couple. it is a bit sleazy to use an instructor position to try to pick up chicks!

[Tenshi 0]

The incident made it into a Belgian paper (well...not really a quality newspaper) today. They said the girls fell into the concrete of a parking lot @ 94 km/h ( 59 mph) because both parachutes failed to open.

Quote

if someone tells me that I can't date someone from work, I will tell them its non of their business

Amen to that. I think (yes...think) Belgian Dropzones wouldn't really give a toss. Some of you are surprised there are actually people who don't mind? Frankly speaking it annoys me to see so many that do mind.

But I don't mind being convinced otherwhise. Tell me how this dating thing might interfere with good judgement and create a dangerous situation. I need examples...(This is not a good example. Who says this jackass wouldn't have done the same if they weren't dating? Furthermore...I think his being a jackass had more to do with the accident than the dating)

[Remster 30]

Quote

if someone tells me that I can't date someone from work,

This isnt about dating some one you work with. Wanna shag the manifest chick/boy if you're a TM? Have fun! The DZO? cool! But as an instructor, you really shouldnt date your student. And if you are dating a student, you shouldnt be doing his/her instruction.

Remster

[davelepka 4]

Quote

And if you are dating a student, you shouldnt be doing his/her instruction.

This is generally a good rule. It's also easy to enforce, as it's quite clear when a newbie is a student, and when they are not. The catch is that this transition takes place over the course of one jump, where you go from student to newbie, or you could look at it is going from off limits to fair game.

The problem area is that once off student status, the newbie is still very much a student, and the expereicned jumper SO will have alot in influence over how things progress from there on.

What even worse is when the newbie hooks up with the 100 jump wonder. Let the misguiding and bad habits begin!

[mattyblast 0]

Okay by me, as long as they fall head-over-heels.

(Well, somebody had to say it!

"DOOR!!!"

[tso-d_chris 0]

Quote

But as an instructor, you really shouldnt date your student. And if you are dating a student, you shouldnt be doing his/her instruction.

I, too, have seen cases where a student jumper needed an instructor instead of a boyfriend with an instructor rating.

For Great Deals on Gear

[PhreeZone 20]

Lok at your HR manual at work. Almost every place I've ever worked managers are not allowed to date their immediate workers. If they wish to someone has to change departments to avoid conflict of interest situations.

If you don't think it happens... stick around a DZ for 2-3 more years and see how many instructors try and hook up with a different student every weekend. They use the whole overwhelming experience of a skydive as a way into someones pants too often.

Yesterday is history
And tomorrow is a mystery

Parachutemanuals.com

[Icon134 0]

I don't like the idea of it either. There needs to be a seperation between a teacher and a pupil in order to ensure that there is no bias in the instruction.

Scott

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[EricTheRed 0]

Not this again.\

It's a BAD idea.

illegible usually

[SkymonkeyONE 4]

Quote

I am not convinced that work should interfere with person life, if someone tells me that I can't date someone from work, I will tell them its non of their business.

That said if an instructor is going to date a student then they should still maintain all the safety and good advice which go along with this.

You are describing two different things here. Dating someone from work is entirely different than fucking your students. Like Remi said, nobody gives a shit if you and a fellow staff member want to have sex or have a real relationship.

A student is not a "co-worker"; they are your pupil. Your underling. You simply cannot ethically use your position as "instructor" to get laid on the dropzone. Once a person is out of the student pipeline and integrated into the regular dropzone community, then they are fair game.

Chuck

[jlmiracle 7]

Quote

Amen to that. I think (yes...think) Belgian Dropzones wouldn't really give a toss. Some of you are surprised there are actually people who don't mind? Frankly speaking it annoys me to see so many that do mind.

But I don't mind being convinced otherwhise. Tell me how this dating thing might interfere with good judgement and create a dangerous situation. I need examples...(This is not a good example. Who says this jackass wouldn't have done the same if they weren't dating? Furthermore...I think his being a jackass had more to do with the accident than the dating)

I dated my first JM. I ended up way behind the curve, simply because I didn't know better. Thank god I moved 2000 miles to get away from him so I could still jump. I learned alot when I moved away. Like how to pack, the good the bad and the ugly on RSL's, AAD, other gadgets and so many more things. It is a really really bad idea for an instructor to date a student.


j

Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

[riggerrob 643]

Bad idea!
Many skydiving schools specifically forbid instructors dating students.
Perris Valley Skydiving School fired at least one instructor because he phoned too many students. Later I worked with him - at another school - and it was just embarrassing the way he hit on every female student.

It is similar the the old US Army policy that forbid dating/shaging/marrying anyone at a different level in your chain of command. The Pentagon feared that a supervisor would promote her/his lover ahead of other more qualified soldiers.

Far more mature to handle it the way "J" did. He got the hots for one of his first (IAD) jump students. She did the requisite two or three IAD jumps (school policy) - then as soon as he could - he handed her off to freefall instructors.
"J" was professional enough to wait until after she had done a PFF dive before he started dating her. They dated for a while, lived together for a while and have been happily married for a couple of years now.

[NelKel 0]

It would be unethical for a colledge professor to date a student, the student will probably be dating the porfessor for a good grade. an "A" if you will.

In skydiving, the grade is your safty. So it would be unethical for an Instructor to date a student. The student won't mind because they don't have a full understanding of everything that can happen. But once the Student has an "A" lisence then it would be ethical IMO

_________________________________________

Someone dies, someone says how stupid, someone says it was avoidable, someone says how to avoid it, someone calls them an idiot, someone proposes rule chan

[sundevil777 102]

I've seen it work out really well, and the woman got super great instruction 'cause the guy cared about her so much, and now they're married with a bunch of kids and still jump. He posts here but would rather not have his head bitten off by those that think an instructor should be fired for dating a student.

I think that many might not think it so bad if it was a female instructor - double standards and such.

I think it comes down to how it is done.

People are sick and tired of being told that ordinary and decent people are fed up in this country with being sick and tired. I’m certainly not, and I’m sick and tired of being told that I am

[Beverly 1]

Quote

Heard of some DZ's having this rule and in light of the recent Media circus it seems to make sense

Could you post a thread or link or let us (The rest of the world) know what happened.

I am very anti JM's and Instr dating new people on the DZ. We have seen them shagging a different chick every night of the weekend. You are seen as a bitch if you try warn the girls, they are getting attention and they think the guys are hero's.
It would be nice to know how many DZ's have the "No dating rule" how it works and what are the repercussions on the guys breaching this.
By the time the student is A licence, they then know who is the shark and who is really interested in them as a person and not a one night shag.

I think true friendship is under-rated

Twitter: @Dreamskygirlsa