Help with whuffo spouse

[Surf 0]

Thanks for the replies, pretty much what I had already worked through.

Discussions of mals is what got me where I am now-Like most skydivers I would read and discuss any malfunctions in parachuting to see what I might learn. She learned that even the most experienced of skydivers die (rarely, but it does happen). The motto "Prepare for the worst, live for the best"

There were a few TM's I'd trust with my wife (Turoff, Pietrese, come to mind) think we might get to that stage in a decade or so :)

For now I'm going to try to get her to the DZ and find some people there who she'll like (crosses fingers)

Meanwhile I'll also work the insurance angle, more to demonstrate responsibility to her than to give her incentive.

Quote

Statistically you will find that the same idiots who get killed in motor vehicle accidents would be killed if they where skydiving.

Dave I think you'll have a hard time proving that. but if you have statistics on the probalility of fate, go for it:)

"Nothing is written"- T.E. Lawrence

[darrenspooner 0]

I do take your point that my statistics might not be correct. However, my point really, even if I wasn't very clear about it, was to say that a whuffo's panic about skydiving is irrational. Panic = fight vs. flight response, and this suggests the panicker has a belief that serious injury or fatality is a certainty. Its not. It is very very far from that, and the chance of injury can be minimised even further by being safety conscious, wise, well-balanced and mindful.

The chance of a fatality if you and your planeload do everything right is exceedingly small. So thinking accurately about risks is an important judgment for all skydivers and their loved ones.

[EflyzLOW 0]

"...wife says skydiving must go!
FOR SALE: One slightly used wife..."
~
(hey, it worked for me...twice!)
-e

[Dumpster 0]

Dude, take it from me, (I'm married to the worlds' #1 Ground-Hugging-Whuffo. ) She absolutely REFUSES to do a tandem or even an observer ride and it has become a major issue between us.

She does know I have no intention of quitting, and my daughter (From Marriage #1) packs on weekends and will start AFF in the spring.

You may be in a tough spot, or it may not be as bad as you think- If she's willing to come hang at the DZ while you jump, that's a step in the right direction. (My lady has been to the DZ ONCE all summer.)

Take it from there.


- - "My wife says if I don't quit jumping, she's gonna leave me......DOOR!!!"

[Luv2Fall 0]

Dude, our wives must be related......I have yet, however, to have my wife to visit the DZ. Maybe your wife is my wife's long lost sister lol.

[rainman 0]

I've managed to convince eight of my friends and colleagues to do a tandem....not my wife though. She's taken up skiing and (motor)bike riding......sheesh!

Rainman

[lobo 0]

My son saw a TV show about skydiving when he was 10 and wanted to go jump. 6 days after he turned 16 we both did our first jump. My wife, his mom, used to have to take tranquilizers before taking a trip in a plane so you can imagine what a basket case she was that day. But she came out to the DZ and watched us both jump for the first time. She tried to take video but she was shaking the camera so much a friend of mine offered to shoot the video. She had no idea we'd be taking up the sport...hell, we didn't know we would...until we did that first jump and we were both hooked! She's only been to the DZ a handful of times, including watching me get out of a canopy wrap at about 300'...but she didn't know it was me until after the fact. Our son is now a jump pilot and plans to become a tandem master. I'm a coach now. I've never suggested that my wife do a tandem. She doesn't even like riding in small planes with our son as the pilot! She knows how passionate we both are about the sport and she knows "forbidding" us to jump wouldn't be in any of our best interests. Married or not, you and the Mrs. are still individuals and you both have to allow each other to remain individuals. Even more than that...you have to share in each others passions and encourage each other to be the best in what YOU EACH choose to do. No, my wife doesn't jump and she doesn't frequent the DZ...but she and I are hosting this year's DZ Christmas party and I guarantee she'll party with everyone as if she jumped with them every weekend!!!

Sunshine, Blue Skies & Light Breezes

<==LOBO==>

[gremlin 0]

I reckon that the wind tunnel is the way forward - freefall without the problems of falling.

If that fails I saw a great bumper sticker the other day.
LOST - Wife and dog.
Reward for return of dog.

I'm drunk, you're drunk, lets go back to mine....

[Shindagrl 0]

This subject hits very close to home for me....except it's my hubby that isn't really too keen on my jumping (although he doesn't hyperventilate when we discuss it). You have quite a dilemma.

I firmly believe that a couple needs to be comprised of two individuals with personal freedom, and I think it strengthens a marriage. She doesn't really sound like a tandem candidate, but I do think if you can just get her to the DZ so she can meet the other folks and see a bunch of people (you included) land safely, it might give her some relief from her fears.

If she refuses to allow you to jump, you could always by a cheap set of clubs and "take up golf" . Actually, that's a bad idea.......she'd probably offer to drive the cart one day and you'd be BUSTED!!!

Blue skies (with you in 'em)---

Shinda

An audience of 35 head of cattle was not exactly what I had in mind for that last landing.........

[deronde 0]

Quote

I have had gf's in the past on whom logic works wonders.

Dude, you gotta tell me where to find one of those!

[goose491 0]

Quote

Lead a bizarre double life thats what i do!

Hear Hear!!!

That's what I do!

Yeah, and so do I!

My Karma ran over my Dogma!!!

[whuffowife 0]

Why do you people think your wife or significant other should "hang out" at the DZ? Skydiving is without a doubt the most boring (so-called) sport to watch. Stand around and watch skydivers oooh that's my idea of a fun afternoon. Give me a break.

[jsaxton 0]

A support group for non-skydiving spouses?

[Dumpster 0]

I muat admit it's not much of a spectator sport, and that's probably the biggest reason it's not a "mainstream" sport such as other andrenaline rushes like snowboarding, mountain biking, etc. So I can understand a non-jumping spouse or SO being bored.

But I to try to include her in this sport, which can be very taxing on a relationship. I try not to "pressure" her into coming to the DZ. and I leave it at that. Like our club Christmas party, she doesn't want to go, because she doesn't enjoy the company of skydivers, so I am not going to drag her somewhere she isn't going to have a good time.

By the way- Judging by your screen name you're married to a skydiver - Could you share with us where you're from and perhaps whom you're married to?

[goose491 0]

Quote

By the way- Judging by your screen name you're married to a skydiver - Could you share with us where you're from and perhaps whom you're married to?

I think it was a joke.

My Karma ran over my Dogma!!!

[judedre 0]

have your wife call my wife ive been jumpin 10 years married 9 wifes been to dz once in that time email me at judedre@dropzone.com ill reply with phone number she really is very good at this she is also a counceler and manager at louis vuiton ..chat soon dre

[redshift 0]

1. Take up a relatively safe sport that your spouse isn't interested in. Do it long enough that he/she gets used to it being just something you gotta do for/by yourself.

2. Next, take up a moderately risky sport like scuba diving. Do that long enough for your spouse to realize that it's not that dangerous if done well (remember to do it well).

3. Then start doing something that's definitely risky, like motorcycle riding (or even racing). Do it until your spouse's fear diminishes (if you get injured or killed, you'll have to start over from the top).

4. Finally, take up skydiving. If your spouse's response is "yeah, whatever...", congratulations. If not, rinse & repeat.

This is only partly about dulling your spouse's interest in your well-being; it's also about your credibility as to the real risks involved. So don't lie.

[Dumpster 0]

Quote

By the way- Judging by your screen name you're married to a skydiver - Could you share with us where you're from and perhaps whom you're married to?

I think it was a joke.

[flyhi 24]

Quote

she is also a counceler and manager at louis vuiton

I'm thinking a nice $400 LV key chain ought to be just the counseling for this type of problem. If you are aware of any good "Coach" handbag counselors, let me know. I'm sure that's just what my wife needs.

BTW, does Lou know you're not showing the correct level of reverance by not capitalizing his name? My god man, it's Louis Vuitton we're talking about here!

Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics.

[Surf 0]

Update on the wife visiting the DZ...

She came out and watched a few loads. On the second load there was a 3 way that she was able to see against the broken cloud cover. Actually seeing them in freefall kinda freaked her out, she hyperventilated and started crying.

Not the best outcome-but she knows now that her fear isn't based on anything but phobia, so she (and I) have a reasonable path to fix the problem.

Her goal is to do a tandem sometime in the next year (Her idea, not mine)

Thanks for the good ideas.

Aaron

"Nothing is written"- T.E. Lawrence

[JohnRich 4]

I think the solution is fairly simple. Just keep bringing her out to the DZ with you. Even if you only get one jump in before she becomes uncomfortable - that's a start. The more she hangs around and sees how ordinary jumping is, the more she'll be able to get over thinking of it as something death-defying. Just hang out and talk with the people, and watch load after load of uneventful landings. Over time, she'll come to accept that this really is fairly ordinary stuff, and not be feared. And best of all, hang out at the end of the day, have a few beers, and get to know the people - she'll realize they're not crazy. They are just ordinary people, with jobs and families, like anyone else. After a while, the time she is willing to spend on the DZ will increase, and sooner or later, she'll accept it completely.

[IamAdam 0]

My wife is fine with me diving, and even went up on an observation ride before I did my tandem (with an agressive pilot who beat all the divers down, I might add). But for some reason, she has no desire to dive herself. I'd really like it if this is something we could share, but don't know how to get her to try it. She gets scared of things too easily, so this would be good for her to conquer her fears, open up new horizons, etc. etc.

Also, I was wondering...we were talking about how jumping is much more dangerous than skiing or horse riding. How does it compare to motorcycle riding or hang gliding? Anybody know?

[StearmanR985 0]

I am selling my motorcycle in order to pay for my skydiving. I don't compare the statistics but I feel the street bike is much more dangerous for me than skydiving. Though skydiving has its own risks, I feel that I have much more control over my fate when jumping. With my bike, it is the other drivers of which you have no control over that you have to worry about. I just stopped enjoy riding because of my worries.

Some of my whuffo friends think I am looney trading my motorcycle for skydiving. Maybe I am.

Oh yeah, in the last seven months there have been 4 motorcycle fatalities within a 20 mile radius of where I live....

[whuffowife 0]

yep, I'm married to a skydiver. I support his skydiving but skydivers like you are very annoying. You make unkind comments regarding your wife as if she is less than you are because she isn't interested in the thing that YOU DECIDED to make a bigger part of your life than anything else and then you come on this group and talk about stuff that's inappropriate much less discussing your marital problems and I think how you talk and behave on this group (including your tag line) is disgusting. You have broadcast to everyone that your skydiving is more important than your marriage.

[lowie 0]

Quote

yep, I'm married to a skydiver. I support his skydiving but skydivers like you are very annoying. You make unkind comments regarding your wife as if she is less than you are because she isn't interested in the thing that YOU DECIDED to make a bigger part of your life than anything else and then you come on this group and talk about stuff that's inappropriate much less discussing your marital problems and I think how you talk and behave on this group (including your tag line) is disgusting. You have broadcast to everyone that your skydiving is more important than your marriage.

I can agree with some of what your saying but at the end of the day this is a skydiving forum - naturally everything is going to be about the sport. It can be pretty hard to fit your life around such a time consuming (not to mention dangerous pastime) and it's good for us to blow off a bit of steam. I'm sure most comments were tongue in cheek and no insult intended.

cheers