sasteam 0 #1 September 16, 2003 It seems to me that I may never have what it takes to be a true skydiver. From what I can see, becoming a true skydiver requires a number of attributes, many of which are, possibly, beyond my reach or are things with which I'm simply not comfortable. For example (in no particular order), many of the true skydivers that I see - have and display one or more tattoos - smoke and often require at least one cigarrette between loads - have body piercings (ears don't count anymore) - can drink heavily in the evening and be on the first load the next morning - are ectomorphic or, at least, fall on the ectomorphic side of mesomorphism - have some kind of attitude (doesn't really matter what kind - come across as a bit touched (and by touched, I mean crazy) - live a relatively non-materialistic lifestyle (money isn't good for much except jumps and beer!) - live in the present (can't really execute emergency procedures if you're daydreaming about the future, now, can you?) - live from jump to jump (always thinking about that next fix) - consider themselves good looking (the guys) and have skydiving SOs (the gals) that are good looking - seem to actually live (!) at the drop zone - can easily pack in 10 minutes or less (mostly, it appears, because their canopy is about the size of a trashbag) - have a seemingly unending source of money (maybe something illegal going on here, like in that documentary CUTAWAY about that cop... what's his name... Stephen Baldwin or something) - (some) inexplicably live nomadic lifestyles (how high do you have to exit to actually reach the next DZ?) Now, I don't have any tattoos and no one at the DZ seemed particularly impressed with the lick'em and stick'em type. I quit smoking something like 13 years ago before basic training and I haven't had much of a desire to start back up. I do wear an earring but haven't really wanted to pierce anything else. Well, I don't really want to exhaust the list of my deficiencies... I think you get the idea. So, what's an aspiring skydiver to do? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wiregoat 0 #2 September 16, 2003 - come across as a bit touched (and by touched, I mean crazy) That is the only qualification you really need. The rest just help. You left out the rare but random urge to get naked in front of the whole dropzone but, but, he's a giant chicken! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lazerq3 0 #3 September 16, 2003 Hey dont feel bad ..I'm one ofthe VERY FEW if any jumpers at my DZ thats married with kids and a mortgage!! But the cool thing is all the people that you described that I jump with think its pretty cool when I bring the kids out....and some even say they look forward to someday having a few "brats" running around themselves ..So its all good!! jasonFreedom of speech includes volume Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
slotperfect 7 #4 September 16, 2003 Damn! There's another stereotype I don't fit! Oh well. Arrive Safely John Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #5 September 16, 2003 - have and display one or more tattoos Check! - smoke and often require at least one cigarrette between loads Check! (sigh.) - have body piercings (ears don't count anymore) Not yet... - can drink heavily in the evening and be on the first load the next morning 2 beers and it's nap time. And don't even think about waking me up before the crack o' noon. - are ectomorphic or, at least, fall on the ectomorphic side of mesomorphism Nope. Fat bastard here. - have some kind of attitude (doesn't really matter what kind If the golden rule is an attitude, I'll take it. - come across as a bit touched (and by touched, I mean crazy) Why would anyone want to be normal? - live a relatively non-materialistic lifestyle (money isn't good for much except jumps and beer!) Well, I guess I need to get rid of my motorcycle and my kick ass home theater. Actually, I've never really been that materialistic. - live in the present (can't really execute emergency procedures if you're daydreaming about the future, now, can you?) Damn my investments and my 401k - live from jump to jump (always thinking about that next fix) Check! - consider themselves good looking (the guys) and have skydiving SOs (the gals) that are good looking I am a troll. Children pelt me with stones before they run away screaming in fear. - seem to actually live (!) at the drop zone Does 45 minutes away count? - can easily pack in 10 minutes or less (mostly, it appears, because their canopy is about the size of a trashbag) I can pack my Stiletto 190 (yes, a 190) in about 8 minutes - have a seemingly unending source of money (maybe something illegal going on here, like in that documentary CUTAWAY about that cop... what's his name... Stephen Baldwin or something) Nope, I just have a really good job. But I still had to scrimp so I could order my BirdMan suit this week. - (some) inexplicably live nomadic lifestyles (how high do you have to exit to actually reach the next DZ?) It's all about spreading the love. QuoteSo, what's an aspiring skydiver to do? Be yoursef. And may the devil take the hindmost.Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 20 #6 September 16, 2003 >- can easily pack in 10 minutes or less (mostly, it appears, because their canopy is about the size of a trashbag) I can pack my Stiletto 190 (yes, a 190) in about 8 minutes Kris you take too long, I could do it in 5. No tat's on me yet... I'm almost normal Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #7 September 16, 2003 - have and display one or more tattoos just made the cut! I got 2!!! - smoke and often require at least one cigarrette no way, jose. - have body piercings only ears, but ear cartilage... NEW EVENT! At the ZHills Lovefest we will have "Kris Piercing." For a cash donation to my jump fund, one can pierce kris. - can drink heavily in the evening and be on the first load the next morning Load 1 is for wind drift indicators. Load 2 is a safer bet. - are ectomorphic or, at least, fall on the ectomorphic side of mesomorphism i've been blessed with the crappiest metabolism in the galaxy - have some kind of attitude (doesn't really matter what kind i have the attitude of a boozehag - come across as a bit touched (and by touched, I mean crazy) I've worked with professional lunatics. I consider myself well trained. - live a relatively non-materialistic lifestyle (money isn't good for much except jumps and beer!) i have no money after jumps and beer. my tent is larger than my apartment. - consider themselves good looking (the guys) and have skydiving SOs (the gals) that are good looking I'm a chick, but i've got a nice looking skydiving SO. - can easily pack in 10 minutes or less (mostly, it appears, because their canopy is about the size of a trashbag) Kahn can pack my chute in less than 10 minutes while i attend to important things like lunch and painting my toenails. __ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vertifly 0 #8 September 16, 2003 So what's the problem? They seem like a attainable goals to me; JUST GIVE IT TIME and stick with it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #9 September 16, 2003 QuoteKris you take too long, I could do it in 5. I'm having a pocket put on the back of my D-bag so I can freestow.Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,534 #10 September 16, 2003 Quit whining! I'm sure Bubba's Tattoo'n'Piercin' Parlor is running a twofer -- I think that's ever other week they do that. You can smoke pot instead of cigarettes; just use cigarette rollers and no one will be the wiser. Plus you'll get the cool buzz I drink water heavily -- does that count? You can too if you try hard enough If you're not an ectomorph, there's always liposuction. That'll take care of that too much savings problem while you're at it, too. And with no savings, you won't be able to be materialistic any more, and you won't be able to look too far beyond the next jump, and with all that investment I'm sure you'll be extra good-looking, and you'll be able to jump a much smaller canopy that you can pack faster. Man, that's a lot of items right there! If you get a trailer, you can live at the DZ. And with the trailer, you won't need a pesky mortgage or anything. Endless source of money? I haven't figured that one out yet, but hey -- I've solved all the others, you only have to work on that one! Let me know when you've got it licked, OK? Ummm --- just so's you know, the closest any of those come to fitting me is the "touched in the head" one, and the "not too materialistic" one. And the second is only because I like to travel more than I like to own things. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #11 September 16, 2003 QuoteNEW EVENT! At the ZHills Lovefest we will have "Kris Piercing." For a cash donation to my jump fund, one can pierce kris. *note to self...wear body armor around Stacy*Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #12 September 16, 2003 you can wear body armor. we're already supplying you with a viking hat. __ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masher 1 #13 September 16, 2003 - have and display one or more tattoos no - smoke and often require at least one cigarrette between loads no - have body piercings (ears don't count anymore) no - can drink heavily in the evening and be on the first load the next morning not really. I didn't drink 'til I started skydiving, and I only drink when I'm skydiving... - are ectomorphic or, at least, fall on the ectomorphic side of mesomorphism got me there... - have some kind of attitude (doesn't really matter what kind probably... - come across as a bit touched (and by touched, I mean crazy) no idea... - live a relatively non-materialistic lifestyle (money isn't good for much except jumps and beer!) most probably - live in the present (can't really execute emergency procedures if you're daydreaming about the future, now, can you?) depends... - live from jump to jump (always thinking about that next fix) not really - consider themselves good looking (the guys) and have skydiving SOs (the gals) that are good looking ummm, no - seem to actually live (!) at the drop zone no - can easily pack in 10 minutes or less (mostly, it appears, because their canopy is about the size of a trashbag) i can pack in ~20-30 - have a seemingly unending source of money (maybe something illegal going on here, like in that documentary CUTAWAY about that cop... what's his name... Stephen Baldwin or something) I'm a student on a scholarship, living at home. I have to spend it on something. - (some) inexplicably live nomadic lifestyles (how high do you have to exit to actually reach the next DZ?) no-- Arching is overrated - Marlies Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rhonda66 0 #14 September 16, 2003 Quote - have and display one or more tattoos NONE - smoke and often require at least one cigarrette between loads NO - have body piercings (ears don't count anymore) NONE - can drink heavily in the evening and be on the first load the next morning NO, DON'T DRINK - are ectomorphic or, at least, fall on the ectomorphic side of mesomorphism DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS - have some kind of attitude (doesn't really matter what kind ONLY ON A BAD DAY - come across as a bit touched (and by touched, I mean crazy) ONLY ONCE IN A WHILE - live a relatively non-materialistic lifestyle (money isn't good for much except jumps and beer!) NOT - live in the present (can't really execute emergency procedures if you're daydreaming about the future, now, can you?) NOT - live from jump to jump (always thinking about that next fix) NOT - consider themselves good looking (the guys) and have skydiving SOs (the gals) that are good looking HUBBY AND I BOTH JUMP - seem to actually live (!) at the drop zone NOT EVEN CLOSE - can easily pack in 10 minutes or less (mostly, it appears, because their canopy is about the size of a trashbag) Well, my husband can - does that count? - have a seemingly unending source of money (maybe something illegal going on here, like in that documentary CUTAWAY about that cop... what's his name... Stephen Baldwin or something) I WISH - (some) inexplicably live nomadic lifestyles (how high do you have to exit to actually reach the next DZ?) No, we both work regular jobs So, what's an aspiring skydiver to do? CHANGE DROP ZONESRhonda PP ASEL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kris 0 #15 September 16, 2003 Quoteyou can wear body armor. we're already supplying you with a viking hat. A FREE VIKING HAT?! WooHoo! That's gonna be AWESOME! ummm...waittasec.... What am I going to do with a hat with a picture of DZ.com's own Arthur on it?Sky, Muff Bro, Rodriguez Bro, and Bastion of Purity and Innocence!™ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveNFlorida 0 #16 September 16, 2003 - have and display one or more tattoos nope - smoke and often require at least one cigarrette between loads only smoke occassionally - have body piercings (ears don't count anymore) ok, i've got my belly pierced:) - can drink heavily in the evening and be on the first load the next morning first load, eeek!@ - have some kind of attitude (doesn't really matter what kind Don't we ALL have attitude, tho? Not just skydivers... I know I had one b4 I started skydiving. - come across as a bit touched (and by touched, I mean crazy) Ok, you got me. - live a relatively non-materialistic lifestyle (money isn't good for much except jumps and beer!) IS there anything else ? - live in the present (can't really execute emergency procedures if you're daydreaming about the future, now, can you?) I think about the future, i'm in school, anyhow. - live from jump to jump (always thinking about that next fix) You'll get there. . . quickly:) - consider themselves good looking (the guys) and have skydiving SOs (the gals) that are good looking I'm a chick... and a single one at that. - seem to actually live (!) at the drop zone nope, 1.5hrs. Sometimes I drive 3.5hrs to go to others. - can easily pack in 10 minutes or less (mostly, it appears, because their canopy is about the size of a trashbag) I just started, so packing isn't really my best talent. I can unpack really fast, tho:) haha. - have a seemingly unending source of money (maybe something illegal going on here, like in that documentary CUTAWAY about that cop... what's his name... Stephen Baldwin or something) HA! I wish! It's gonna catch up with me realll soon. - (some) inexplicably live nomadic lifestyles (how high do you have to exit to actually reach the next DZ?) Man, that would be cool! So, what's an aspiring skydiver to do? Dude, if you want to skydive, do it, stop making excuses. The people i've met in skydiving have been, for the most part, pretty accepting people. I don't think you're required to have tatoos or smoke, you just have to jump out of planes. Angela Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
prepheckt 0 #17 September 16, 2003 QuoteThat is the only qualification you really need. The rest just help. You left out the rare but random urge to get naked in front of the whole dropzone Doesn't this usually involve alcohol in one form or another?"Dancing Argentine Tango is like doing calculus with your feet." -9 toes Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #18 September 16, 2003 QuoteYou left out the rare but random urge to get naked in front of the whole dropzone i only get naked in front of the DZ for free T shirts. I'm A Herd Member, Who the @*!$ are you? __ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 273 #19 September 16, 2003 Quote- have and display one or more tattoos Nope. Not yet anyway. Haven't been able to afford the one I want. Quote- smoke and often require at least one cigarrette between loads Well, yeah. Gotta have something to do while my parachute is being packed. Quote- have body piercings (ears don't count anymore) Had to take my eyebrow piercing out back in 1997. Too many guys were talking to my eyebrow instead of my breasts. Quote - can drink heavily in the evening and be on the first load the next morning Not anymore. Depending on how late in the evening I'm drinking heavily of course. Quote - are ectomorphic or, at least, fall on the ectomorphic side of mesomorphism I'll consider that a compliment. Quote - have some kind of attitude (doesn't really matter what kind I do not have an attitude!!! Say that again and I'll kick your ass!! Quote - come across as a bit touched (and by touched, I mean crazy) I'm not crazy. A bit wierd yes. But not crazy. Quote - live a relatively non-materialistic lifestyle (money isn't good for much except jumps and beer!) Someday I hope to own a vehicle that is worth more than my rig. Doesn't that make me materialistic? Quote - live in the present (can't really execute emergency procedures if you're daydreaming about the future, now, can you?) Instant gratification is a good thing. Only boring domestic type people plan for the future. Quote - live from jump to jump (always thinking about that next fix) For the first few years I was jumping, yeah. Now it's like, should I jump or should I spend that money on beer and cigarettes? Quote - consider themselves good looking (the guys) and have skydiving SOs (the gals) that are good looking You must be from California. Quote - seem to actually live (!) at the drop zone Yeah? So??? Quote - can easily pack in 10 minutes or less (mostly, it appears, because their canopy is about the size of a trashbag) Real skydivers pay packers. Quote - have a seemingly unending source of money (maybe something illegal going on here, like in that documentary CUTAWAY about that cop... what's his name... Stephen Baldwin or something) No comment. Quote - (some) inexplicably live nomadic lifestyles (how high do you have to exit to actually reach the next DZ?) Dude, there's like so many cool places to jump and so many cool people to jump with. Not gonna meet 'em all if you don't get outta Podunk. QuoteSo, what's an aspiring skydiver to do? Follow the examples that have been set before you, young Jedei. It is the path to true happiness. *I really shouldn't post after three beers* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jimbo 0 #20 September 16, 2003 QuoteLoad 1 is for wind drift indicators. Load 2 is a safer bet. Load 2 may be a safer bet, but I figure they've usually got things pretty well sorted out by load 15 or so. That's more my speed. - Jim"Like" - The modern day comma Good bye, my friends. You are missed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stacy 0 #21 September 16, 2003 yeah, and yer loud mouth keeps everyone awake until 7 AM when you go galavanting around the tent area endlessly... __ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aero04 0 #22 September 16, 2003 No tattoos, absolutely no need for one. Don't smoke, never will. Piercings? I'm going out of this world with the same number of holes I came in with. Drink heavily? Alcohol is nasty. IMHO, of course. Give me a Dr. Pepper any day. No ectomorph here. I only have two food groups. Cheeseburgers and pizzas. Attitude?? What attitude?? Touched? Crazy? Nope. I'm as sane as anyone who is involved in a sport that used to be an emergency procedure... Non materialistic lifestyle? I'd have to agree. Live in the present. Absolutely. Live from jump to jump. Yep. Live at the drop zone? Nope. Live in a dorm. Pack in 10 minutes? HAHAHAHAHAAHAH I wish. After one packjob I'm ready to call it quits for the day and go home. Unending source of money? Trust me, my source of money most definitely has an ending. Nomadic lifestyle? Nope. Lived in Houston for 20 years and College Station, Tx for 3 years. Probably head back to Houston when this whole school shindig is over. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyskydiver 0 #23 September 16, 2003 - have and display one or more tattoos Yep - smoke and often require at least one cigarrette between loads Nope - have body piercings (ears don't count anymore) Only ears...but hey...they're double pierced...does that count? - can drink heavily in the evening and be on the first load the next morning 2 wine coolers and I'm buzzed. 4 and I'm toast. - are ectomorphic or, at least, fall on the ectomorphic side of mesomorphism where does hourglass figure fall, again? - have some kind of attitude (doesn't really matter what kind Everyone's got attitude...just matters what kind of attitude. - come across as a bit touched (and by touched, I mean crazy) Why would anyone want to be normal? - live a relatively non-materialistic lifestyle (money isn't good for much except jumps and beer!) Well...piano, motorcycle, new car - live in the present (can't really execute emergency procedures if you're daydreaming about the future, now, can you?) Nice size IRA, savings account (not much, but hey...I got one), will have a 401K when I get another job - screwed that one up - live from jump to jump (always thinking about that next fix) Nope...tons of things that I do and enjoy besides jumping. As much as I love it, my life does not revolve around it. - consider themselves good looking (the guys) and have skydiving SOs (the gals) that are good looking I consider myself to be average looking. - seem to actually live (!) at the drop zone Used to be 45 minutes away - now 1 1/2 hours away - can easily pack in 10 minutes or less (mostly, it appears, because their canopy is about the size of a trashbag) No way! Packing my Silhouette 170, it takes me about 10-15 minutes. - have a seemingly unending source of money (maybe something illegal going on here, like in that documentary CUTAWAY about that cop... what's his name... Stephen Baldwin or something) Nope, just had a really good job and would scrimp on stuff that didn't matter. Now...time in between jumps will get a bit longer. - (some) inexplicably live nomadic lifestyles (how high do you have to exit to actually reach the next DZ?) Have an apartment...no nomadic lifestyle here. Damn! I keep breaking sterotypes. Ah..well...gotta love it!!! Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
michaelflying 0 #24 September 16, 2003 Very funny Like your description.www.skydivekzn.co.za Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phonics1981 0 #25 September 16, 2003 - have and display one or more tattoos Got 2, only small ones tho - smoke and often require at least one cigarrette between loads Nope. Never smoked and never will, less money for jumps! - have body piercings (ears don't count anymore) Ive got piercings but stopped filling them long before jumping - can drink heavily in the evening and be on the first load the next morning Probably - are ectomorphic or, at least, fall on the ectomorphic side of mesomorphism Nope. - have some kind of attitude (doesn't really matter what kind Not sure.. - come across as a bit touched (and by touched, I mean crazy) After a few beers, definately! - live a relatively non-materialistic lifestyle (money isn't good for much except jumps and beer!) No No No. I always want things. Normally skydiving related but also DJing / Music / Technology etc." - live in the present (can't really execute emergency procedures if you're daydreaming about the future, now, can you?) I live in the present but think about the future all the time - live from jump to jump (always thinking about that next fix) True, but I try to stay in touch with my non jumping mates an equal amount of time - consider themselves good looking (the guys) and have skydiving SOs (the gals) that are good looking I AM good looking mate - seem to actually live (!) at the drop zone I'm not there nearly as much as i'd like - can easily pack in 10 minutes or less (mostly, it appears, because their canopy is about the size of a trashbag) Try 1 hour and a half! Getting quickr though! - have a seemingly unending source of money (maybe something illegal going on here, like in that documentary CUTAWAY about that cop... what's his name... Stephen Baldwin or something) Hell no!! Its either food or jumps! - (some) inexplicably live nomadic lifestyles (how high do you have to exit to actually reach the next DZ?) Sounds good, but no ------------------------------------------------------ "Ive given up on sigs cos I make a mess of them!" ------------------------------------------------------ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
