Farting in the airplane

[slug 1]

We seem to be losing a lot of the old time honored traditions of skydiving

What ever happened to trying to see who could cut the nastiest fart on the climb to altitude.

I think Pink Floyd the video dude at the old Z-hill's had to be the world champ on every load.

Then there was the time we were in a cessna and everyone was trying their best to be #1 and a guy let loose a wet one.

From that day fwd his nickname was "Butt Juice". When his mom started jumping we asked her if her son was "Butt juice" was she Mrs Butt Juice. sweet lady just grinned.

So any good stinker stories from "back in the day". You know the ones thatrt could turn your teeth green and water your eye's.

Whenever we cut a good one loose we would immediatly fess up because we wanted credit for it.

These days everyone is way to serious about being PC.

R.I.P.

[skybytch 273]

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These days everyone is way to serious about being PC.

Not everyone. Here in NorCal, farting on the plane is an art. We think it's funny.

[matthewcline 0]

A few years ago the team mates and I happened to be in a 182 climbing to 10K (that was the goal at least).

Well at around 4K (dead of winter mind you so 35ish degrees F) a god awefull smell fills the plane.

The pilot starts gagging and we start weaving all over the sky. The pilot opens the window and starts to yell at us that who ever did it better get out now! We aren't going another foot higher till then.

No one is moving or taking any credit and all of us are looking a bit sheepish. The pilot opens the door and says "he who delt it, better get out, NOW!". It is cold, noisy and we all are trying to avoid jumping and landing out (we happened to be a bit off the DZ).

We orbit a little and the smell doesn't seem to be going away, it maybe even getting stronger! The pilot tells us again his ultimatum and finally a few heads fill the door "for Air".

The pilot says "last time or I am quiting for the day and your not jumping".

One of the Team says "hey dudes take one for the team and get out". The pilot states "no! the one who did get out".

I tell him ok make a pass close enough he can at least land on the airport then he will get out. So I step in as the Team Leader and tell the other three I would jump with the person who did it, but he will jump, final.

I climb out as we aproach the DZ and look back to see all three of the others packed along the strut and step, grinning from ear to ear, one of them yells "it was nickle night and free nachos at the lodge last night, we all went".

OK, ready, set, go!

I missed the exit count and left last and saw the face of the most pissed off Pilot I have ever seen in my life!

Buy the time we walked in the other half of the team had made 3 loads and the pilot had complained to the DZO so much he pulled us aside to "admonish" us for a few minutes.

I didn't feel so guilty about farting after the other three admitted it too.

An Instructors first concern is student safety.
So, start being safe, first!!!

[Zing 2]

Larger airplanes seem to diminish the overall effect but,
Bullit Bob's garlic, fish-heads and rice diet peeled the zinc chromate off the walls of the Twin Beeches we had at Ghoulidge, and
dEd Dugan planned his diet and timed his meals to emit the most ghastly odors at the prime times, like 10 grand on the way up whether he was flying or jumping.

Zing Lurks

[wightout 0]

That was REALLY FUNNY!!! ROFLMAO!!!

Some day I hope to get an all FEMALE load up @ our DZ. That way the plane will smell beautiful...cuase female farts smell like roses!!

Ha!! rRally enjoyed your story though!! It was funny!!

[Zing 2]

Nonsense ... according to Connie Crater, "girls fart butterflies." She's one of my favorite pilots and heas held her own against Bullit and dEd

Zing Lurks

[matthewcline 0]

What is funnier is it IS true. The pilot still flies there and we still jump there.

Now there is abunch of placards that say "no farting in the plane" all over the DZ.

Some time it is cool to influence change, or is that in-flatulance change?

An Instructors first concern is student safety.
So, start being safe, first!!!

[htrammel 0]

Awwww man. I had completely forgotten about Pink Floyd. Dude, he was RANK!

[slug 1]

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Awwww man. I had completely forgotten about Pink Floyd. Dude, he was RANK!

How can anyone forget Pink Floyd. The dude must have eaten korean cabbage 24/7, and could stink out a DC3 . Not sure about the trail plane

He did great video to
R.I.P.

R.I.P.

[monkycndo 0]

I do my best to not pollute the plane. Jumpers who know Raff here in the Bay Area are familiar with his aversion to anyone breaking wind in the plane. His response after smelling the noxious gas would be to ask the offender if they would mind if he went into their office and really let one rip. If not, don't fart in his office.

50 donations so far. Give it a try.

You know you want to spank it
Jump an Infinity

[htrammel 0]

Yes, he was really a great vidiot. I was just going through some vhs tapes from ZHills Turkey Meet late 80s or early 90s. All sorts of really nice videos from him.
Is he still around? anybody know?

[slug 1]

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Yes, he was really a great vidiot. I was just going through some vhs tapes from ZHills Turkey Meet late 80s or early 90s. All sorts of really nice videos from him.
Is he still around? anybody know?

In case anyone missed it we're talking about Pink Floyd.
Who knows with his abilities he may be working on weapons of mass destruction....... Farts

[itllclear 1]

A bunch of us went through the high-altitude training at Edwards AFB. The instructor was warning the class that as the gases in the gastrointestinal tract expanded, they could press against the diaphragm and make it difficult to breath.

The solution to the problem was to let the gases out. The two whuffos in the group had this quizical look on their faces, while the instructor "politely" tried to explain what was necessary.

Finally the DZO said "Not only are most of these people familiar with the concept, many of them have turned it into an art form."

"Harry, why did you land all the way out there? Nobody else landed out there."

"Your statement answered your question."

[Amazon 7]

If it gets too bad in the plane.. I just have my little spritzer bottle of " ASS BE GONE" I prefer the Pina Colada scent....

[airout 0]

Roasted Garlic - three or four pods pealed, w'onions, butter, olive oil, lemon pepper and a little hot sauce baked in the oven for about an hour at 350. This will produce one of the most disturbing smells ever made by man or women.


So now that you know what I ate.... I was in the back of a Beech 99, three or four minutes from exit. My buddy is on his hands and knees looking out with the door resting on his neck in a full face factory diver.

I dropped a biscuit that made its way up front, I thought we might be having problems with the plane with all the yelling in the cockpit.

A sick sense of pride came over me as I was viewing the destruction, heads in helmets all the way up and the pilot flying with face pressed to the little window on the side which was now open. But the best part of the whole event was when my buddy ( outside) looked like he had been hit with a baseball bat. He threw the door open and scream at me "how did you do that?" I explained to him it was like bumper pool, you got to play the angles.

Of course you know the rest of the story .......exit , exit , exit Where are we?

[slug 1]

Some folks cut a real good one and then try and look innocent.

If it was a good one and it was mine I took full credit and was proud of it.

Some folks forgot about some of the things that made fun jumping fun.

Now a DRCP "dummy ripcord pull" is a PRCP "Practice ripcord pull" a logbook isn't good enough a jumper needs an A liscense $$ then a b liscense$$. $50 for packing lessons

Later with that shit Fart On!!!!! Boobies are nice though keep the boobies

R.I.P.

[jdobleman 0]

Last year at Lost Prairie, Tall Guy let one go at about 4k and within seconds the pilot had the "Open Door" light on. He was referred to as Shit Guy for the next couple of days.

Our motto at Byron is "We're from Byron, we think it's funny"
and have several "leaders" over the past years. It's a constant source of conversation and competion on most loads.

old school.

madjohn

Main goals in life: Be on the "Jumpers Over Eighty" (JOE) World Record and attend the Lost Prairie Boogie once after I'm gone.

[jaymundo 0]

Sorry yall....the king of the world was Sonny Gros!!! He even had a referance book on the subject.

[drjump 0]

Aggie Dave, in Texas, is trying to keep this old tradition alive! He and the DZO are some of the best I've smelled in over 30 years......

[slug 1]

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If it gets too bad in the plane.. I just have my little spritzer bottle of " ASS BE GONE" I prefer the Pina Colada scent....

Amazon

I'm that you carry alittle sissy bottle to hide the small. How can you tell who got the best (stinkiest) one. Your such a priss

Don't hurt me.

R.I.P.

[airtwardo 7]

Ah...the memories of my misspent youth!

Late nights drinking Hubers Beer...2.69 a CASE, it only came in bottles cause it would eat THROUGH a can....and slamming down a dozen hard boiled eggs.


I could actually "Blast" inflate my Balloon Suit on the climb to altitude!!!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[bozo 0]

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Ah...the memories of my misspent youth!

Late nights drinking Hubers Beer...2.69 a CASE, and it only came in bottles cause it would eat THROUGH a can....and eating hard boiled eggs.


We always made it a tradition to hit Macayos Mexican restaurant on Friday nite Dos XX beer and Rosaritas Refries......lots and lots of refries.'
We were rank and putrid smelling and to this day I am so ashamed.

bozo
Pain is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. Chicks dig scars.

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[mjosparky 4]

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We were rank and putrid smelling and to this day I am so ashamed.

Sure, I believe that.

My idea of a fair fight is clubbing baby seals

[slug 1]

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We were rank and putrid smelling and to this day I am so ashamed.

Sure, I believe that.

I was proud of my farts Just like hot mex food. a burning taste that stays with you for days.

Couldn't hold a candle to pink floyd. The all time stinker champ and great photo dude. His pics almost made it worth the climb to altitiude.


Young ones don't let us old "farts" down and keep the old tradition's alive after we're gone. If it starts to stink in the big DZ in the sky than your real skydivers and made us proud
R.I.P.

[Lastchance 0]

I was told that women don't fart, they fluff.

I may be getting old but I got to see all the cool bands.