skydiver30960 0 #1 September 2, 2004 OK, the topic popped into my head after spending a little time at stainedapron.com, referred there by the "tipping" thread in TB: So, ever have an completely ASSHAT student? We've all had dumb ones, lucky-to-be-alive ones, and ones that have scared the hell out of us to jump with but we did it anyway, although now we can't seem to remember why. What I'm talking about is a downright PRICK. What I want to hear here are the stories of you having to suck it up and smile in the face of outrageous rudeness and maliciousness. Moreso, I would LOVE to hear stories where either circumstance or your actions allowed you to exact a degree of revenge. I must say, I've been lucky. I've had a few not-so-freindly ones, and a couple ones that maybe got so caught up in the moment that they weren't aware of what they were saying, but never had anyone over the top. I think part of this is that while people get complacent about just how much control a waiter has over the contamination of their food, when they come to the DZ to jump they KNOW how important their instructor is to them and tend to be a bit nicer to us. BUT, just like my record of zero tandem cutaways, I KNOW that I just haven't that asshole student YET. So help me plan for the inevitable... Elvisio "ready for the dirt" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crutch 0 #2 September 2, 2004 Many, my alltime favorite though was the Seminole fan I took one time (I am a diehard Gator). As I was hooking him up in the plane for some reason the topic of football came up. When hearing I was a Gator a long slew of curse words started emitting from his mouth, basically saying Gators were the lowest form of life. There was a running bet amongst our tandem masters on number of stand-up landings in a row. One more and I was going to take the pot. Well for some reason as we landed, we landed in the water-filled ditch alongside the landing area with me riding him like a horse. I politely said," guess you shouldn't have been jumping with a Gator."blue skies, art Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dippymoo 0 #3 September 3, 2004 Ok i've got to tell you about my strangest student! he was sent out to me by afellow brit to do the AFF course, i should have known something was wrong when he missed his ride from the airport cos he decided he wanted to go to a bar instead! From then on he would never be where he was supposed to be to jump, he wasn't that bad in the air just very inattentive and more interested in his own agenda than learning to skydive. on the 3rd morning he showed up with a black eye from the night before (from a chick!) he didn't jump that day (oddly enough) the nexxt morning he showed up with a 6-pack in hand (foolish me thought it was to apologise for being an asshat) but he said he wanted to drink for the next 2 days, and not skydive and that its his holiday! later that day i get a phone call from the local cops to pick him up from the hospital, where they'd taken him after pciking him up for being drunk in public. Eventually he was supposed to get on a flight home (no more jumping for him cos he couldn't stay sober!) last i heard was from not so local cops that they'd picked him up for breaking and entering! definite nominee for prick status i feel! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
teason 0 #4 September 3, 2004 Had this one prick who took the course and couldn't jump because of the weather. We knew he was a prick because he kept lighting up and smoking in the indoor packing area after we kept telling him not to and right by our fuel pumps. He kept bugging us to let him jump through cloud and in high winds and rain. Would stop being a dick. He called the next day to jump but the manifestor told him that we were booked up to sunset. He came out anyway and told us that the menifestor said to "come on out" (obviously a lie) and if we didn't let him jump he and his friends should get refunds. He turned white when we told him we were ahead of schedule and could get him up. It was the last load. He was the last IAD student and he knew I was gonna jump too. I looked out the door and said "This is F***in' stupid. I'm not F***in' jumpin'. This is waaaaayyyyy to F***in' dark... Jesus...." I turned him "OK #3 all the way out" The look on his face was priceless I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of me in magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
D22369 0 #5 September 3, 2004 I have had one...... so far this guy was a student at another dz several years prior and took a couple of years off then decided to come back, apparently at the other dz he was on freefall, but putting him out on static line was an adrenaline getting experience for me each time..... he could do the biggest half twisting back/front loop each time...... He looked at me one time as I was hooking up the static line and said " this would be easier if you would just put me on freefall (in a very nasty smarmy voice)........ I reasonably replied "when you can give me a stable exit, we will do that....... He didnt like my reply and one of the other Instructors heard him complaining to another jumper that this dz just doesnt like him and will never let him go to freefall........ I even wore my camera and showed him what was wrong with his exit.... to this day I am sure he considers me a dick.... but his exiting antics were quite exciting.... he's my asshat recipient RoyThey say I suffer from insanity.... But I actually enjoy it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Topcat 0 #6 September 3, 2004 Have you ever had a student bitch to you about everybody who is jumping ahead of him? He took me aside and complained, and I explained there were only a few students and he would jump shortly. He turned purple and said he had seen *dozens" jump all ready. I had to think about it for a bit, then I gently explained to him that they were experienced skydivers, not students, and he would be up shortly. At least he shut up after that. -Sandy (Not really an asshat, but I bet he felt like one) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matthewcline 0 #7 September 3, 2004 I had one who went through a "hybrid" course at another DZ that happened to be closed on this particular weekend. After reveiwing his log book and confering with the DZO I set him up for a SL PRCP jump, he became real upset for the "demotion" as he put it. He did out standing on the exit and we went up on freefall to work through his progression. The DZO and I decided to pick up with things where he left off at his other DZ. At least that was the plan asweread over his log book. Apparently Sit flying is part of the cat D through "A" license program at his home DZ. He was not happy when we wouldn't sign off on his progression since he insisted on sit flying during the 2 freefall jumps hemade before the DZO asked him to leave so he wouldn't keep yelling so loud about how f'd up we, the DZ, USPA and any Instructor within sight was since we "obviously" didn'y knowwhat we where doing. He was and is my gold medal recipient of the ass award.An Instructors first concern is student safety. So, start being safe, first!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimjumper 25 #8 September 4, 2004 I actually paid for it! I was having a problem with trying to treat an AFF evaluator as a real student, so I actually paid one to be play a total a--hole for 3 jumps just to get used to it. I did it just before the AFF cert course and it sure helped! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sneaky 0 #9 September 4, 2004 Mate you should have called me and I would have done it free !!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 643 #10 September 4, 2004 QuoteI had one who went through a "hybrid" course at another DZ that happened to be closed on this particular weekend. After reviewing his log book and conferring with the DZO I set him up for a SL PRCP jump, he became real upset for the "demotion" as he put it. He did out standing on the exit and we went up on freefall to work through his progression. The DZO and I decided to pick up with things where he left off at his other DZ. At least that was the plan as we read over his log book. Apparently Sit flying is part of the cat D through "A" license program at his home DZ. He was not happy when we wouldn't sign off on his progression since he insisted on sit flying during the 2 freefall jumps he made before the DZO asked him to leave so he wouldn't keep yelling so loud about how f'd up we, the DZ, USPA and any Instructor within sight was since we "obviously" didn't know what we where doing. He was and is my gold medal recipient of the ass award. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> In the Canadian program, we ask students to do a ride-the-slide exit between graduating from PFF and their A Certificate. Exiting butt-to-wind is an exercise in regaining stability from unusual attitudes. Unfortunately too many of them enjoy flying butt-to-wind and get seduced by the "dark side" of sit-flying. Where are the youth of the nation headed? Oh, woe is us! Misery, anguish and despair! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 643 #11 September 4, 2004 Recently - at Beiseker, Alberta - a static-line student shit himself on jump run. The funniest part is that he is a big, tough, British soldier. Hah! Hah! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver30960 0 #12 September 5, 2004 QuoteRecently - at Beiseker, Alberta - a static-line student shit himself on jump run. Quote Man, I know I would be calling the "cut" way early. ..."CUT! Okay, get your (shit-covered) legs out and hang... keep hanging... keep hanging... (closing the door and mouthing the words through the window as the pilot vents the cabin from the other window) ...keep hanging ...keep hanging ...keep hanging.... GO! Elvisio "lapsed S/L-I rating" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites ostrich 0 #13 September 8, 2004 My favorite was the student who showed up the night before and got real testy around the camp fire. Its a bad idea to pick fights with the guys who are going to save your life on a tandem the next day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites matthewcline 0 #14 September 9, 2004 Hey Rob, This cat hadn't made it far enough in the progression to consider that yet. He was just being taken care of by a buddy at the other DZ and was a danger to alot of others. MattAn Instructors first concern is student safety. So, start being safe, first!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkySlut 0 #15 September 11, 2004 Well, I got a good one...I had 10 people in my AFF class this evening...guess how many showed up drunk??? 7!!! Can you believe it??? Every once in a while I will suspect someone who has had one beer or two because they watched everyone else drinking one while the sunset load is landing...but these guys were HAMMERED...hows that for asshat??? Needless to say...I postponed the entire class for tomorrow. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Deuce 1 #16 September 11, 2004 Um. In Maryland, is it OK to learn AFF drunK? Boom, shakah, shakah, shakah. Boom. Out of my classroom. How about you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkySlut 0 #17 September 11, 2004 well...according to the "state induced" learning method which states that anything that you learn while drunk you will remember better when drunk...I just have to make sure that they are drunk while they are jumping!!! Just kidding...what a bunch of jackasses. Class should be interesting this morning...I cant wait to see what I get. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skydiver30960 0 #18 September 13, 2004 How'd they turn out? Were they way hung over? Carrying on with the "exacting revenge" idea of the thread, PLEASE tell me you did everything you could to assault their banging heads and stomachs. Stuff like: 1.) HOURS of PLF practice. In the sun. 2.) HOURS of hanging harness time. Put a bucket underneath them, just in case. What did you come up with? Elvisio "let em have it" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites murps2000 86 #19 September 13, 2004 Um. In Maryland, is it OK to learn AFF drunK?*** Yes. Yes it is. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkySlut 0 #20 September 14, 2004 I was a bit harsh, but still nice. The thing that really pisses me off is that they had no regard to their safety or mine, for that matter, showing up with a buzz on...I didnt do anything different. I just didnt have as much patience as I normally do because of their disregard to common sense...needless to say...a couple of the culprits had to do tandems...they just couldnt perform at all...so...off to a Cat A tandem. I never found out how they did because I was doing a demo jump on the beach, but the rest of the class did great...at least the sober ones anyways. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Shark 0 #21 September 14, 2004 Quotejust didnt have as much patience as I normally do because of their disregard to common sense...needless to say...a couple of the culprits had to do tandems...they just couldnt perform at all...so...off to a Cat A tandem. I've had my share...most recently. This dude couldn't get the hand signals even after reviewing them for an hour. The dive flow was just as bad and I recommended a training tandem. Even in the plane his knowledge, or lack thereof, was evident. Another instructor was even pointing out the DZ and my bright student kept nodding in agreement. I asked him if he could really identify it since he did not have his glasses on, which he confessed that it was difficult. Apparently he didn't feel too cool wearing his spectacles. The exit was as I expected; poor count, dearched, etc. I tapped him to do his COA. He checked his altimeter then proceeded to do PRCPs without even touching the handle. I gave him an arch, followed by the practice pull signal at which time he deployed us at 9 grand. I released the brakes and had him take the toggles to perform the canopy check. Heck, the practice flare was lame, but after making him do it correctly a few times his canopy control was much better. I had him look at his altimeter to tell me where we were at. He did on the second attempt. Later I had him grab a toggle and hold it in a spiral for a few turns. We reversed and at that time I think he lost his lunch. Lucky for him he was wearing a jumpsuit. Lucky for me I avoided the hurl. The winds on approach were nearing 20 so we landed at the alternate. I had one catcher whom was very cautious as he grabbed one of the toggles, avoiding the mess on the dudes chest. As I grab the canopy I see him taking off the harness and jumpsuit like he was leaving it in the landing area. (Again, it wasn't cool to walk back past the packing area with url on you.) I yelled at him to bring it back and leave them on the grass. (His dad was there and he didn't want to be embarassed.) During the debrief he couldn't recall what altitude he deployed us at, nor what my signal was. The bowling speech was coming to mind. So this is a guy who tried to convince me that he was okay for an AFF jump. Dumb is one thing, but dumb, blind, and overconfident is dangerous. ...but sometimes you get a good class. Last Saturday I had 5 in my FJC and all were pretty good with typical Level 1 jumps. 3 even had stand up landings with the other 2 flaring a bit high and falling on their butts or PLF'ing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Kjeld 0 #22 September 16, 2004 A few years ago we had some asshole staticline students. Since you see them a bit longer than tandempassengers the annoyance can only be bigger. They were a bunch of very fat (115+ kg) US Marine Corps Sergeants, to old and fat to be operational anyway and in my opinion a disgrace for their unit. Anyway we have a mixed team of instructors at our DZ: males and females. They had a male instructor, but they refused to accept a female jumpmaster for their first jumps. They felt that females were by far inferior, although this jumpmaster had over 2000 jumps and dropped hundreds of loads out of 14+ person aircraft. At the end it was solved with a smile by one of the senior instructors. He dressed himself in a nice pink legging and some other shit and everybody had a great laugh, but those students got the picture. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites riggerrob 643 #23 September 16, 2004 QuoteA few years ago we had some asshole staticline students. Since you see them a bit longer than tandempassengers the annoyance can only be bigger. They were a bunch of very fat (115+ kg) US Marine Corps Sergeants, to old and fat to be operational anyway and in my opinion a disgrace for their unit. Anyway we have a mixed team of instructors at our DZ: males and females. They had a male instructor, but they refused to accept a female jumpmaster for their first jumps. They felt that females were by far inferior, although this jumpmaster had over 2000 jumps and dropped hundreds of loads out of 14+ person aircraft. At the end it was solved with a smile by one of the senior instructors. He dressed himself in a nice pink legging and some other shit and everybody had a great laugh, but those students got the picture. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Reminds me of when I used to do tandems at Hemet, California. Since one of our instructors was a retired marine, he brought plenty of young marines from Camp Pendelton. since those boys where officially homophobic, we used to get our giggles by dropping homosexual hints. BOY! Did those boys ever arch! Young marines are also bright enough and respectful enough not to punch out their tandem instructors. Be careful about trying this with civilians, as some of them are gay or homophobic and WILL punch you out! In conclusion, I am really tired of the anal sex jokes used by some other TIs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites SkySlut 0 #24 September 18, 2004 Man, I dont know what the deal is....but I had 5 in my class last night and 2 showed up to check in with beers in their hand...I really dont think that we should have to tell people that they need to be sober while skydiving. I kicked them out of the class. That is 2 weeks in a row. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skylord 1 #25 October 29, 2004 Shark, What a story! I think all TMs need to write a book about this stuff. You weren't talking about me, right? This embarrasses me, as a beginner. I cannot begin to tell you the respect I have for all of you who put up with just the normal learning stuff and then have to put up with attitude like this. (Shark was my main side JM on my AFF-1, by the way.) There is no excuse for this, and it sucks this happened. All of you at Elsinore are outstanding, and I look forward to wrapping up my AFF and A license requirements without barfing all over you. BobBob Marks "-when you leave the airplane its all wrong til it goes right, its a whole different mindset, this is why you have system redundancy." Mattaman Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. 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ostrich 0 #13 September 8, 2004 My favorite was the student who showed up the night before and got real testy around the camp fire. Its a bad idea to pick fights with the guys who are going to save your life on a tandem the next day. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matthewcline 0 #14 September 9, 2004 Hey Rob, This cat hadn't made it far enough in the progression to consider that yet. He was just being taken care of by a buddy at the other DZ and was a danger to alot of others. MattAn Instructors first concern is student safety. So, start being safe, first!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkySlut 0 #15 September 11, 2004 Well, I got a good one...I had 10 people in my AFF class this evening...guess how many showed up drunk??? 7!!! Can you believe it??? Every once in a while I will suspect someone who has had one beer or two because they watched everyone else drinking one while the sunset load is landing...but these guys were HAMMERED...hows that for asshat??? Needless to say...I postponed the entire class for tomorrow. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deuce 1 #16 September 11, 2004 Um. In Maryland, is it OK to learn AFF drunK? Boom, shakah, shakah, shakah. Boom. Out of my classroom. How about you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkySlut 0 #17 September 11, 2004 well...according to the "state induced" learning method which states that anything that you learn while drunk you will remember better when drunk...I just have to make sure that they are drunk while they are jumping!!! Just kidding...what a bunch of jackasses. Class should be interesting this morning...I cant wait to see what I get. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver30960 0 #18 September 13, 2004 How'd they turn out? Were they way hung over? Carrying on with the "exacting revenge" idea of the thread, PLEASE tell me you did everything you could to assault their banging heads and stomachs. Stuff like: 1.) HOURS of PLF practice. In the sun. 2.) HOURS of hanging harness time. Put a bucket underneath them, just in case. What did you come up with? Elvisio "let em have it" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
murps2000 86 #19 September 13, 2004 Um. In Maryland, is it OK to learn AFF drunK?*** Yes. Yes it is. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkySlut 0 #20 September 14, 2004 I was a bit harsh, but still nice. The thing that really pisses me off is that they had no regard to their safety or mine, for that matter, showing up with a buzz on...I didnt do anything different. I just didnt have as much patience as I normally do because of their disregard to common sense...needless to say...a couple of the culprits had to do tandems...they just couldnt perform at all...so...off to a Cat A tandem. I never found out how they did because I was doing a demo jump on the beach, but the rest of the class did great...at least the sober ones anyways. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shark 0 #21 September 14, 2004 Quotejust didnt have as much patience as I normally do because of their disregard to common sense...needless to say...a couple of the culprits had to do tandems...they just couldnt perform at all...so...off to a Cat A tandem. I've had my share...most recently. This dude couldn't get the hand signals even after reviewing them for an hour. The dive flow was just as bad and I recommended a training tandem. Even in the plane his knowledge, or lack thereof, was evident. Another instructor was even pointing out the DZ and my bright student kept nodding in agreement. I asked him if he could really identify it since he did not have his glasses on, which he confessed that it was difficult. Apparently he didn't feel too cool wearing his spectacles. The exit was as I expected; poor count, dearched, etc. I tapped him to do his COA. He checked his altimeter then proceeded to do PRCPs without even touching the handle. I gave him an arch, followed by the practice pull signal at which time he deployed us at 9 grand. I released the brakes and had him take the toggles to perform the canopy check. Heck, the practice flare was lame, but after making him do it correctly a few times his canopy control was much better. I had him look at his altimeter to tell me where we were at. He did on the second attempt. Later I had him grab a toggle and hold it in a spiral for a few turns. We reversed and at that time I think he lost his lunch. Lucky for him he was wearing a jumpsuit. Lucky for me I avoided the hurl. The winds on approach were nearing 20 so we landed at the alternate. I had one catcher whom was very cautious as he grabbed one of the toggles, avoiding the mess on the dudes chest. As I grab the canopy I see him taking off the harness and jumpsuit like he was leaving it in the landing area. (Again, it wasn't cool to walk back past the packing area with url on you.) I yelled at him to bring it back and leave them on the grass. (His dad was there and he didn't want to be embarassed.) During the debrief he couldn't recall what altitude he deployed us at, nor what my signal was. The bowling speech was coming to mind. So this is a guy who tried to convince me that he was okay for an AFF jump. Dumb is one thing, but dumb, blind, and overconfident is dangerous. ...but sometimes you get a good class. Last Saturday I had 5 in my FJC and all were pretty good with typical Level 1 jumps. 3 even had stand up landings with the other 2 flaring a bit high and falling on their butts or PLF'ing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kjeld 0 #22 September 16, 2004 A few years ago we had some asshole staticline students. Since you see them a bit longer than tandempassengers the annoyance can only be bigger. They were a bunch of very fat (115+ kg) US Marine Corps Sergeants, to old and fat to be operational anyway and in my opinion a disgrace for their unit. Anyway we have a mixed team of instructors at our DZ: males and females. They had a male instructor, but they refused to accept a female jumpmaster for their first jumps. They felt that females were by far inferior, although this jumpmaster had over 2000 jumps and dropped hundreds of loads out of 14+ person aircraft. At the end it was solved with a smile by one of the senior instructors. He dressed himself in a nice pink legging and some other shit and everybody had a great laugh, but those students got the picture. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riggerrob 643 #23 September 16, 2004 QuoteA few years ago we had some asshole staticline students. Since you see them a bit longer than tandempassengers the annoyance can only be bigger. They were a bunch of very fat (115+ kg) US Marine Corps Sergeants, to old and fat to be operational anyway and in my opinion a disgrace for their unit. Anyway we have a mixed team of instructors at our DZ: males and females. They had a male instructor, but they refused to accept a female jumpmaster for their first jumps. They felt that females were by far inferior, although this jumpmaster had over 2000 jumps and dropped hundreds of loads out of 14+ person aircraft. At the end it was solved with a smile by one of the senior instructors. He dressed himself in a nice pink legging and some other shit and everybody had a great laugh, but those students got the picture. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Reminds me of when I used to do tandems at Hemet, California. Since one of our instructors was a retired marine, he brought plenty of young marines from Camp Pendelton. since those boys where officially homophobic, we used to get our giggles by dropping homosexual hints. BOY! Did those boys ever arch! Young marines are also bright enough and respectful enough not to punch out their tandem instructors. Be careful about trying this with civilians, as some of them are gay or homophobic and WILL punch you out! In conclusion, I am really tired of the anal sex jokes used by some other TIs. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkySlut 0 #24 September 18, 2004 Man, I dont know what the deal is....but I had 5 in my class last night and 2 showed up to check in with beers in their hand...I really dont think that we should have to tell people that they need to be sober while skydiving. I kicked them out of the class. That is 2 weeks in a row. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skylord 1 #25 October 29, 2004 Shark, What a story! I think all TMs need to write a book about this stuff. You weren't talking about me, right? This embarrasses me, as a beginner. I cannot begin to tell you the respect I have for all of you who put up with just the normal learning stuff and then have to put up with attitude like this. (Shark was my main side JM on my AFF-1, by the way.) There is no excuse for this, and it sucks this happened. All of you at Elsinore are outstanding, and I look forward to wrapping up my AFF and A license requirements without barfing all over you. BobBob Marks "-when you leave the airplane its all wrong til it goes right, its a whole different mindset, this is why you have system redundancy." Mattaman Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
