Dealing with Flirting students

[USPA 0]

I just started to ignore all the avances, it's tiresome but you'll get used to it...


narf...

The trouble with skydiving; If you stink at it and continue to jump, you'll die. If you're good at it and continue to jump, you'll see a lot of friends die...

[pilatus_p 0]

Hi all

Really interesting thread. I just took an AFF course and had two instructors who were in a relationship with each other. She was blonde, slim and very attractive.

Of course, she got an awful lot of attention from guys there, including students. I think she handled it very well - she would very rarely react to obvious flirting and would usually stick to the topic of skydiving. She was personable, but the way she spoke professionally about the sport and the way her enthusiasm came across, meant that distance was maintained. The fact that her man was there made no difference - she created the distance herself and she set that up from the beginning. She never really pretended to be 'friends', though she was amicable.

I agree that 'having a man there' is not an effective deterrent. Many guys would actually find it more thrilling to have 'competition' in the way as having a girl respond to you in front of her man can be a buzz if he gets miffed

When a guy hits on a girl, he's expecting either reciprocation, embarrassment (from her) or outright rejection (hostile). The first two will definitely encourage further attempts, the last will either harden a guys resolve, or totally shame him (which may make teaching harder) - depending on the ego involved. Give a reaction and its likely he will carry on.

What REALLY deflates a man is the complete lack of reaction to the sexual content of his language and a turn towards topics thoroughly unsexy. Almost pretend that you don't know what flirting is, or make him feel like he's hitting on his sternest maths teacher.

So when he looks at your chest strap and says "would you like me to loosen it for you" (nudge wink) you maintain eye contact, no smile, pause and ask "so, what were the weak points of your jump last time?" or "OK - talk me through your equipment safety checks". Keep doing this repeatedly and it simply will not be fun for him to flirt - unrewarded behaviour does not continue. Don't give him any rewards - no smiling, nothing - unless its skydiving related. All conversation remains professional.

You sound like a naturally bubbly person, and no-one likes being rude to others. I don't think you need to be rude, just don't give anything they can bite on.

That said, some nationalities have very different attitudes towards women - they have the "see it and go for it" attitude when they're near a beeyootifull laydeeee. In this case I recommend looking as ugly as poss, burping, laughing like a horse and blowing your nose a lot. The odd proud fart could help too.

And of course - maintain the right to substitute another instructor.

Ross

http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/troll.htm

[ZigZagMarquis 9]

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...I agree that 'having a man there' is not an effective deterrent...

Unless he takes the guy stalkin' his woman out into the parking lot and kicks the crap out of him. May be wrong... and illegal... but effective.

[Squeak 17]

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...I agree that 'having a man there' is not an effective deterrent...

Unless he takes the guy stalkin' his woman out into the parking lot and kicks the crap out of him. May be wrong... and illegal... but effective.

Or not as the case may be, no one is invincible

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[Tonto 1]

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Or not as the case may be, no one is invincible

Absolutely. Plus, we're vulnerable when we jump from aircraft, and we're very gear dependant. We are very easy to kill. Best to smile and be nice. There are a lot of strange people out there who need a lot less provocation than being beaten up in the parking lot. Some people don't need much reason to kill or maim at all. I find no surprise in the 5000 murders a year within 60 miles of where I live. Piss people off here, and you may well die.

If you don't fight, you don't lose.

t

It's the year of the Pig.

[cruzit 0]

I usually completely ignore the ardent student's advances. Not play dumb, just look at them as if they are another species, and not a bright one at that. As another poster brought up, it's hard to feel romantic with a stern math teacher. Believe it or not, that approach will work on about 90%.

Of course, there are always the ones that take that as a challenge. But since I work in a male prison, I'm not afraid to look a guy in the eye and tell him I'm not interested. If either of those things fails to do the trick, then it is time to pass the student off, because they definitely are not concentrating on the skydive and they are a menace to themselves, you, and any other skydiver.

(edited to correct spelling)

[AFFI 0]

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If either of those things fails to do the trick, then it is time to pass the student off, because they definitely are not concentrating on the skydive and they are a menace to themselves, you, and any other skydiver.

This ia a very good point.

I have to admit something:
I once instructed someone I was so incredibly attracted to physically, it might have impeeded me from doing my best as an instructor. I did my best to not be flirtatious or show outwardly that she was the hottest chick I had ever seen - but in hindsight what I should have done was pass her off to another instructor.

-

Mykel AFF-I10
Skydiving Priorities: 1) Open Canopy. 2) Land Safely. 3) Don’t hurt anyone. 4) Repeat…

[JohnMitchell 16]

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I once instructed someone I was so incredibly attracted to physically, it might have impeeded me from doing my best as an instructor. I did my best to not be flirtatious or show outwardly that she was the hottest chick I had ever seen - but in hindsight what I should have done was pass her off to another instructor.

Naw, sounds like you did a good, professional job. Do you think another male instructor would have been less affected by her? I doubt that. Maybe a female instructor would have been a good choice, but I don't know if you had one available. Practicing self control is good for the soul.

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[Beverly 1]

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In this case I recommend looking as ugly as poss, burping, laughing like a horse and blowing your nose a lot. The odd proud fart could help too.

ah, tempting - but no.

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And of course - maintain the right to substitute another instructor.

I have made a deal with Tonto with this dude when he comes back to complete the course.


So thanks everyone for all the input, I have taken lots out of it.

Cheers
Bev

I think true friendship is under-rated

Twitter: @Dreamskygirlsa

[AFFI 0]

[Beverly 1]

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Guess that nulls out sleeping with flirting students as a way to deal with them?

Except if they are rock stars, then it is expected!

I think true friendship is under-rated

Twitter: @Dreamskygirlsa

[JohnMitchell 16]

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Guess that nulls out sleeping with flirting students as a way to deal with them?

Well . . . if you absolutely have to, but only as a last resort.

[ZigZagMarquis 9]

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Guess that nulls out sleeping with flirting students as a way to deal with them?

Except if they are rock stars, then it is expected!

Damn!! I knew I should have learned how to play guitar rather then go to college...

[icarusfx99 0]

You simply must become more like me, I am too oblivious to such advances and thus can't even recall if I have been hit on. Makes the whole issue go away immediately