stringtheorygal

Well, I'm wading through the fear stuff myself. As I wait for the winds to cooperate so I can continue my AFF jumps, I've been reading Brian Germain's Transcending Fear. Highly recommended! Also concur about the Skydiving Duck cartoons! http://tailotherat.blogspot.com/2011/06/sky-diving-duck.html

I am very lucky in this respect. Even as an independent adult, disappointing the parents is rough on me. Yeah, I'm working on that ... For my tandem, I waited until after (wanted to spare him the worry) and then sent the link to the video to my Dad over email. He was thrilled and proud! I just returned home from a visit during which I revealed my intentions to pursue jumping beyond the "bucket-list" experience. I wasn't sure how that would go over as my sweet Dad is a big worrier. However, he was very excited, full of questions, and put up with me chattering on about it the whole time I was home. Probably helps that he has a background in aviation, but most importantly, I think it made him happy to see me so happy. Orangechicken, regardless of whether or not you have anyone's approval, there are things we may feel strongly compelled to experience in this short time we have on the planet. Ideally you can find a way to enjoy an activity with the support of those you love. Maybe that will mean waiting a bit, continuing to educate your parents, demonstrating that this is a thoughtful decision and not a young person's antics, etc. Whatever it may be, I do wish you luck! If you're anything like me, once you've started (I'm still in that wide-eyed, brand-new stage), it will be difficult to even think about anything else! You're not the only one who "feels odd going against their parents' wishes"

Glad to hear the thrill never dies! Had a couple of non-skydivers (I'd call them whuffos, but hey, I'm still one of those!) roll their eyes saying once the "new" wears off, it will be like anything else. I don't see them jumping, though Interesting, from most I've spoken to, it seems somewhere between jumps 20 and 40 that the exit fears appear to dissipate. It really is so odd to see other jumpers "dozing" on the way to altitude. I feel like standing up and shouting, "how can you sleep???! Do you realize what you're about to do??!!!!" Thanks for your thoughts, 377. I'll remember to trust my gut, even if it keeps me off the "cool" list . Hey, I'm throwing myself out of a plane...last thing on my mind is "cool". Ha!

Here here!

Oh my! I feel like a celebrity just commented in my thread...wowee! I love your blog and think of it often- especially when I hit those rough spots along the journey. Thank you so much for your inspiration- you have an incredible gift. Hope your recovery is moving along swiftly.

Revvy, thank you for your thoughtful and encouraging post! I'm so pleased to hear of the support you received re: "not now, not today". You know, it's funny...I've gotten both flack and words of commendation for my refusal. Guess which age group gave me the most support? If you guessed the older, been-jumping-for-20-years group, you'd be right. Hmm....maybe that's why they've made it to that 15 thousand+ jump mark :)

Thanks shore! No videos yet but hopefully this weekend's jumps will yield a couple. Will definitely post up!

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/well-intentioned :)

Well, I'll just have to discuss whether or not the sport is for me with my instructors who seemed quite pleased with my AFF3 yesterday. Super clean exit, got stable right away and fell right down the tube with a smile on my face! It was pretty AWESOME (still smiling) and I'm headed back for more this weekend. Definitely getting that nervous anticipation on the way up, but as soon as the door opens, it's all laser-focus. So, while I appreciate your surely well-intentioned advice, I'll keep jumping, learning, smiling and enjoying until my instructors give me the heave-ho. Thanks again all! Blue skies!

Thanks all! BLUE SKIES :)

Not this time! Wanted to thank everyone who posted in my previous thread: http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=4383828;page=unread#unread The jump was wonderful. Did the visualizations, smiled, took a couple of deep breaths, and just said f*ck it and let go. When I initially got everything on, the leg straps again were floppy- perhaps even moreso as I seem to have lost a couple of pounds since last week. After some discussion amongst the instructors about what to do, one of them just took an extra few minutes to work on the harness and was able to adjust the leg straps so they weren't hanging off of me. Instant confidence! Winds picked up in the afternoon preventing me from doing the next level jump; hoping the weather will cooperate this weekend. Cannot wait to get up there again. I am so addicted... THANK YOU all for your messages of support!!

You know, Ryan, you may have hit on something significant there. On my "refusal" day, I kept a bottle of Diet Mtn Dew (hey, it's a southerner's caffeinated drink of choice ) in my hand all morning before I got on the plane. Being nervous anyhow, I wonder if that didn't help the situation... I usually stick to water but I barely got any sleep the night before (nerves, again) and tried to compensate with the caffeine. Poor decision on my part, but then again, I'm jumping out of an airplane...my decision-making seems kind of questionable these days In all seriousness, I think I'll put away the Dew and chill out. Great stuff, Ryan- sounds like you had some good folks working with you.

Good to know there are other "overthinkers" out there It's positively puzzling to read about these super smooth, "no big whoop" AFF students out there (of course I'm sure they see me and think damn girl, just JUMP!) I'll try to upload the video and add some pics of my tandem to my profile page. I'm thinking of enlarging my profile shot and hanging it up somewhere in my house. It's a pretty special picture to me; I feel like it captures a life-changing experience (or at least marks the beginning of an addiction ) Thanks for your thoughts, shore :)

Skyrad- I love this idea. I'll put it to use tomorrow when I hear the pilot cutting the engine back (had a little door fear the other day). You are correct about the fear going away once I'm out the door. Bizarre little mental block I have to get over in order to get to the good stuff. But so worth it.

DDog- These are helpful words. I'll certainly keep them in mind going forward. Notwithstanding the inherent risk of the sport, I would like to make it as safe as I possibly can. And then go and enjoy!!

Update: Went out to the DZ this morning- it was quiet and the weather was beautiful- nice, high ceiling and temperatures around the mid-80s. I did a working tandem which, aside from clawing at the air on exit (HA!), went well. The initial "droppy" feeling from the 206 was a bit of a shock (I don't remember that from my first tandem) but all in all, I made it to the ground in one piece and remembered why I'm terribly in love with this craziness. Going back later this week to continue on with AFF - and in the meantime will go enjoy my "high" Thank you all so very much for your support and encouragement. I'm on my way (and having a great time)...

FJB- Wonderful to hear how you pushed through! I'm excited to get over the initial tough stuff stuff- I know great things lie ahead. With a sport that carries the risk skydiving does, I want to go in eyes wide open. Not a lot of room for error; I want to be on my game every time. If I've taken care of those things, then I can take advantage of the reasons I became interested in jumping- the sheer, unadulterated JOY of it all. Thank you for your vote of confidence, and thanks for your story.

Thank you so much, pops, that means a lot to me. I'd rather feel like a wuss (safe on the ground) than make a jump when I'm not mentally ready. Many things to think about- the last of them "saving face". Very much appreciate your support.

This is very comforting to hear, Scrumbles! And you're here to tell your story - i'd say that's a good sign! I figured the harness would probably be ok, but to a brand new student, you dont know whats right or wrong and are placing a tremendous amount of trust in others. Thanks for making me feel much better about it all- and congrats on getting your A!! Hopefully I'll be joining you very soon.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience, Lukasz. I'll give the breathing exercises a go. Positive visualization is a fantastic idea. I get so stuck on the bad that could happen that I forget how GOOD it could be! "...fuck it, smile and just let go of the plane..." Yeah, I think that's my new mantra.

EFS- I can certainly relate to the "senses in high definition". I think that feeling of being the most alive I've ever felt is what has attracted me so strongly to jumping. It's like doing a legal drug, I guess! It's been two weeks since my tandem and I'm needing a fix Viewing the fear in the manner in which you describe is pretty clever. I wonder if an MRI image during a skydive (pleasant!) and an image taken while running away from a hungry bear (UNpleasant!) would essentially show the same areas of the brain "lighting up". I suspect it might- the major difference being our perspective. Fascinating stuff. As far as the studying bit goes, if I am totally honest, I know I tend to go overboard. *However*, it is A LOT of information...much of it pertaining to saving your own life. As someone who is generally NOT an adrenaline junkie, it was important for me to be as well-versed as possible prior to going to the DZ so that I could use ground school as a review, a time to ask questions, verify my understanding of EPs and practice in the hanging harness. (To be clear, I was studying my dropzone's particular curriculum -so I was not exposing myself to potentially erroneous information that would need correcting in ground school). If I don't feel fully prepared, it won't be fun. I'm a type-A planner. Doesn't always serve me well- indeed it may have kept me from enjoying a great AFF1 jump on Friday. But there's nothing wrong with preparedness. I personally just tend to take it to the extreme end. Not healthy or conducive to engaging in any activity- regardless of risk. And now if you'll excuse me, I'll be in the other room kicking my fear in the balls.

Thanks, Ken, for your post. It put a smile on my face! I will check out your posts about AFF. It's wonderful to get another perspective on things. I absolutely cannot wait to get back and do this for real. Enjoyment is the key, isn't it?!

Lazarus- Oh, I think you're right-on. Was I nervous about my gear? Yes. Was it also a "convenient" excuse to ride down? It was. Being around the dropzone with all of these seemingly "normal" people having zero problems jumping is, well, a mindf*ck! I suppose I got myself thinking the fear was a sure sign of unpreparedness or weakness. You begin to wonder...what is my problem? But you're right- the very act of skydiving IS unusual and frightening! And admitting the fear is pretty freeing; good to know that even the old pros get the jitters. Ah well, moving forward! Thanks so much for your input

TD- Voices will be getting a talking-to and put in their proper place!

Shore- I LOVE the TOTR blog!!! It needs to be published in book form and available at every dropzone. Funny, in "real life", there aren't too many people you can turn to and ask "so, how did you get through your first SKYDIVE?" It's so wonderful to have this community for reassurance. "Someone told me to have faith in myself and in my instructors, faith in my training and faith in the fact that the parachute wants to open.... " ^That's fantastic. I'll remember that for sure!