Shell666

C'mon ... admit it ... you got a little hot when they were yelling HURRY ... HARD ... 'Shell 'Shell

First Grade Proverbs A first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She had twenty-five students in her class and she presented each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with he remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading these keep in mind that these are first graders..... 6-year-olds, because the last one is classic! 1. Better to be safe than ..................... punch a 5th grader. 2 Strike while the ........................... bug is close. 3. It's always darkest before ..................... Daylight Saving Time. 4. Never underestimate the power of ................termites. 5. You can lead a horse to water but ..............................how? 6. Don't bite the hand that ........................... looks dirty. 7. No News is .......................... impossible. 8. A miss is as good as a............................ Mr. 9. You can't teach an old dog new ..................... math. 10. If you lie down with dogs, ........................... you'll stinking the morning. 11. Love all, trust ......................... me. 12. The pen is mightier than the ........................... pigs. 13. An idle mind is the best way to ..........................relax. 14. Where there's smoke there's ......................... pollution. 15. Happy the bride who ............................ gets all the presents. 16. A penny saved is.......................... not much. 17. Two's company, three's ......................... the Musketeers. 18. Don't put off till tomorrow what ............................you put on to go to bed. 19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and........... you have to blow your nose. 20. There are none so blind as ............................ Stevie Wonder. 21. Children should be seen and not............................spanked or grounded. 22. If at first you don't succeed ........................ get new batteries. 23. You get out of something only what you .................see in the picture on the box. 24. When the blind leadeth the blind ............................ get out of the way. And the WINNER and last one! 25. Better late than ............................ pregnant. 'Shell

Altimaster 2 'Shell 'Shell

I do have cats and both of them were very curious as to what was in the big pan that LOOKS like their bathroom! Luckily they didn't jump up on the table! But that would have made a great picture! 'Shell 'Shell

PLEASE take pics of their faces when they see it and post them here! That is the PERFECT group for it! Have fun! 'Shell

Yes please! That was freaking hilarious!!!! Here it is: Here is a recipe for the next time any of us have to take dessert to a gathering. CAT LITTER CAKE RECIPE WANT TO HAVE FUN AT A PARTY? PREPARE THIS RECIPE AND WATCH YOUR FRIENDS FACES !! *NOTE: THIS CAKE CONTAINS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT IS NOT EDIBLE!!* CAKE INGREDIENTS 1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix 1 box of white cake mix 2 packages white sandwich cookies 1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix (or 2 small ones) A few drops green (or blue) food coloring 12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS" 1 NEW cat-litter box 1 NEW cat-litter box liner 1 NEW pooper scooper Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor Add a few drops of green (or blue) food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs. Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside. When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl - I used a LARGE roasting pan ... there's a lot of cake!. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the mixture moist but not soggy (about 3/4 of the bowl of pudding). Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture. Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape the blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green (or blue) crumbs lightly over top. Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper. Note: if you're making this for kids, put in lots of "poop"! They LOVE it! Enjoy! 'Shell

Would you like the recipe??? It's very yummy! 'Shell

Nope. It was the right picture. The OTHER litter box has a lid on it so I know I took the correct one to the party. 'Shell 'Shell

Here's a birthday cake I made for my nephew for his 9th birthday this past weekend ... it was a hit with the kids !

Treat or Treat! A little boy and girl go trick or treating. They knock on the door of this house and the man who answers it says, "Well, you two are awful cute. Who are you supposed to be?" "We're Jack and Jill", they reply. The man says, "You can't be Jack and Jill, you're black!" So, they go off and a short while later they come back dressed differently. They ring the doorbell and once again the man opens the door. "Well now, you're just darn cute. Who are you this time?" "We're Hansel and Gretel," says the little boy. "Well, I hate to disappoint you son, but you can't be Hansel and Gretel because you're black!" Heads hung low, they leave. Not too much the later, the man hears the bell ring again. This time when he opens the door, there stand the two children but this time they are BUCK NAKED. "Oh my! And just who are supposed to be now?!!", he asks. "Chocolate M&M's," says the little girl. "I'm plain, he's got nuts. 'Shell 'Shell

That's awsome I didn't catch that! It changes everytime you load the page but I loaded it about 6 times and got the same company advert ... just a different one each time. Maybe it's trying to tell me something ... 'Shell 'Shell

Anyone else find the advertisement placement a little "strange" ... 'Shell 'Shell

Ain't that the truth. My brother's company manufactures jacuzzi bathtubs. The company name is "Niagra". Their logo is an oval with the word "Niagra" in it. The "N" is stylized. They received a letter from Pfizer's legal department asking that they cease using their logo because the stylized "N" looked too much like a "V" and people would get their product confused with Viagra. Hmmm ... confusing a jacuzzi tub with a tablet for impotence. Someone has bigger problems than impotence if they do that ... 'Shell 'Shell

Yeah yeah yeah ... I just saw that. 'Shell

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue. anonymous If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went. Will Rogers There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. Ben Williams A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. Josh Billings The average dog is a nicer person than the average person. Andy Rooney We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare, and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It’s the best deal man has ever made. M. Acklam Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. Sigmund Freud I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. Rita Rudner A dog teaches fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down. Robert Benchley Dogs need to sniff the ground; it’s how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard. Dave Barry Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog. Franklin P. Jones If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. James Thurber If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise. unknown My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That’s almost $21.00 in dog money. Joe Weinstein Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we’re the greatest hunters on earth! Anne Tyler If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. Mark Twain You can say any foolish thing to a dog and the dog will give you a look that says, "Wow, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’“ Dave Barry Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. Roger Caras If you think dogs can’t count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. Phil Pastoret My goal in life is to be a person as good as my dog already thinks I am. unknown BONUS WISDOM: Dogs have owners. Cats have staff. 'Shell

I do ... 'Shell 'Shell

It's been over a year ... cut me some slack buddy! 'Shell Ok...how about this one God you have too much time on your hands ... 'Shell 'Shell

It's been over a year ... cut me some slack buddy! 'Shell 'Shell

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas. Ray always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them home, walking proudly. He walks into the house and says to his wife: "Notice anything different about me?" Bessie looks him over, "Nope." Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room completely naked except for the boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?" Bessie looks up and says, "Ray, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow. Furious, Ray yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT IS HANGING DOWN, BESSIE? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!" To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat!!" 'Shell 'Shell

Not much of a story as I'm sure James will tell you. And please razz him as much as you can ... and then some. And just when you think he's been razzed enough, razz him again just to be sure. And then get people like Mahoney to razz him some more. I don't want James to think we've forgotten about him. And if he's forgotten the limerick, here it is as a reminder: There once was a pilot named James Who liked looking at Canadian Dames They showed him their tits Then the tent blew to bits No more tent No more tits for poor James Edited to add ... Actually, start out with the limerick and then ask him what it means? Tell him you heard it somewhere ... THAT'LL get him! 'Shell 'Shell

Thanks! ... and the tent thing isn't what you think ... he took out my shade tent with the Skyvan one day ... ask Shawn Hill about it too while you're at it. I told them both they'd never hear the end of it so any chance you get to bug them about it would be mucho appreciated!! Ask James if he remembers the limerick I wrote for him. 'Shell 'Shell

When you see James, tell him the folks from Camp Canada in LP hope he heals up! He hung out with us at the Boogie. Oh, and ask him where my tent is ... 'Shell 'Shell

Believe it or not, white vinegar takes the sting out of sunburns (and burns in general). Pour some on a paper towel and blot the sunburnt area with it. 'Shell 'Shell

Hey, Remi ... if you want me to pick a couple up for you, I drive by Chachka's every day on my way home from work 'Shell 'Shell

That is exactly what i was thinking when i wondered what the hell you were looking for when you found this. Wouldn't you like to know ... 'Shell 'Shell