Shell666

Southernisms Gun Control Laws Don't Work 'Shell 'Shell

Glad I don't have Lutraphobia- Fear of otters 'Shell 'Shell

LOL ... thanks, Skymama ... I absolutely cracked up when I read that. Snorting and all! My co-workers think I have completely lost my mind ... 'Shell 'Shell

Try again ... the questions change ... And I can't BELIEVE you admitted you only got 50%! 'Shell 'Shell

Okay, Ivan ... I searched and didn't find this so please don't slap my fingers if it's been posted before ... http://www.cbc.ca/chillybeach/trivia/trivia26.swf 10 questions ... they change each time you play. Good luck! 'Shell 'Shell

Damn you're good ... 'Shell 'Shell

Searched and didn't find this so I hope it hasn't been posted before ... advance apologies to Ivan if it has!! 1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often. 3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. 4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat. 5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. 7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. 8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission. 9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program. 10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip. 11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. 12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good. 13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway. 14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it. 15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes. 16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. 17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places. 18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming. 19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it. 20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on. 21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. 22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends. 23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator. 24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

Martha's family placed her in a lovely old folks home that was known for giving great care. Martha's sitting on the patio one day and she slowly starts leaning over to the left. A nurse rushes up and sits her upright. Then Martha slowly starts leaning over to the right. The nurse rushes up again and sits her upright. Martha's family stops by and asks how she's enjoying the new home and if they're taking care of her. Martha says "Yes, but they won't let me fart." 'Shell 'Shell

One of my former co-workers, when asking to use the department's lap top, would always ask for the lab top ... for the life of me I couldn't figure out how she'd put that dog on her desk ... 'Shell 'Shell

Flashdance before it was fashionable ... 'Shell 'Shell

The Kamloops May Meet is over the Victoria Day long weekend in May. Check out their website at http://www.skydivekamloops.org/maymeet.htm. It's still showing the 2003 dates. 2004 should be May 21 to 24 but check with them to be sure. 'Shell 'Shell

Never EVER go to Canada then. Up here it's Right on, eh Sheesh ... get it right ... 'Shell 'Shell

See ... giving you the chance to say "repost" was my gift to you ... Jackass ... and happy birthday ... 'Shell 'Shell

QuoteHay this is Ivan were talking about. Birthday greetings are good. Boobs are better. If you do not have any on your hard drive. Post your own (girls!)Quote No boobs but will this do ... 'Shell 'Shell

Very different viewpoints on what happened, who was at fault, etc, etc. You know, that whole finger pointing thing. If you've read "Into Thin Air" you'll definitely want to read "The Climb". 'Shell 'Shell

There's another one about it called "The Climb" by Anatoli Boukreev. Tells a pretty different story than "Into Thin Air" does. Both are really great reads. 'Shell 'Shell

The holiday season is a time to enjoy family dinners, office parties, and get-togethers with friends. Festive drinks and tasty punches often contribute to the holiday revelry, so here are some tips to help you celebrate sensibly: If you are a woman, remember: Women are more sensitive to the effects of alcohol. If you are a man, remember: Women are more sensitive to the effects of alcohol. Always drink from the bottle labelled "XXX." The bottle with the skull-and-crossbones on the front is poison. Drinking alone is a telltale sign that you know better than to put up with anybody's bullshit. Drinking more than seven nights a week is not just irresponsible, it's impossible. If someone you know is too drunk to drive, demand that he let you have his car keys. If he refuses, pull out a gun and demand the car keys again. This also works with people who are not drunk, and whom you do not know. Never drink with Tyler Schneeklov. While standing in the middle of the road at 3 a.m. yelling expletives at your ex-girlfriend, wear light-colored clothing so motorists can see you. Once you get married and have kids, stop drinking tons of whiskey and switch to drinking tons of wine. Always re-cap your flask between swigs. This lengthens the amount of time between drinks. Don't mix alcohol with stereotypes. If you are Irish, drink rum. If you are a pirate, drink whiskey. Don't drink and drive. Disregard this if you happen to be one of those people who drive better drunk. If you suddenly find yourself impaired by alcohol, prevent any social awkwardness by informing all those present that you profoundly love them, and that you never get this drunk. Never use alcohol to escape feelings of failure and loneliness. Use Vicodin. Before heading out to the office holiday party, tape a handcuff key to the inside of your watchband. Just trust us on this one. Merry Ho Ho everyone! 'Shell 'Shell

The Talented Mr. Ripley There's 3 hours of my life I'm not getting back. 'Shell 'Shell

http://www.wedu.com/sledrun/index.php And if this has been posted before, my humblest Christmas apologies ... I searched and didn't find it. 'Shell 'Shell

A woman goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists. 'Shell 'Shell

Probably not us. That was taken in LP about 5 years ago. It was WAY too fun!! 'Shell 'Shell

Some of my faves ... Shell & Me+Suzanne by Jean Guy Meilleur UofA-Dive & Mel+Me by George Morgan 'Shell 'Shell

Favourite shot ... from the wonderful OrangeKids in LP ... Upside Down Apple Pie Shots Lay back ... vodka ... apple juice ... whipped cream ... cinnamon ... sit up ... shake ... swallow ... flash .. They are THE BEST! 'Shell 'Shell

Does falling off the bed count as "free fall" ... 'Shell 'Shell

From what I hear...it's the type of thing to be done to say you did it....not because you enjoyed doing it. Yep, been there, done that ... and it was tough ... but fun! 'Shell 'Shell