Having a bad day?
Don't take that bad day out on someone you know, take it out on someone you DON'T know.
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A woman answered saying, "Hello?"
I politely said, "This is Mindy Durbin and could I please speak to Rod Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Rod's correct number and called him. He had
transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Rod, I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You're
a bitch!" and hung up.
Next to her phone number I wrote the word "bitch," and put it in my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call her up.
She'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a bitch!"
It would always cheer me up. Later in the year the Phone Company introduced caller ID.
This was a real setback for me; I would have to stop calling the bitch.
Then one day I had an idea. I dialed her number and when I heard her voice, "Hello?"
I made up a name. "Hi. I'm with the Telephone Company and I'm just calling to see if you'd be interested in our caller ID program?"
"No!" she shouted and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called her back and said, "That's because you're a bitch!"
The next day an old lady at the shopping center really took her time pulling out of a parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to
move and she started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out. "Great", I thought, "she's finally leaving."
All of a sudden this black BMW comes flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space. I hit the horn and started yelling, "You can't do that. I
was here first!"
The woman climbed out of her BMW completely ignoring me. She walked toward the shopping center as if I didn't even exist. I thought to myself, "This lady's another bitch."
Then, I noticed she had a "For Sale" sign in the back window of her car.
I wrote down the phone number. Then, I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling the first lady and yelling, "You're a bitch!"
I noticed the phone number of the girl with the black BMW there on my desk and thought I'd better call this chic, too. After a couple rings, someone answered the phone
and said, "Hello."
I said, "Is this the woman with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front." I said, "What's your name?" "My name is Donna Hansen." "When's a good time
to catch you, Donna?" "I'm home in the evenings." "Listen, Donna, can I tell you something?" "Sure..." "you're a bitch!" And I slammed the phone down.
Then, I added Donna Hansen's number to my speed dialer. I must say, for a while things seemed to be going much better for me. Now, when I had a problem I had two
bitches to call.
Then, after several months of calling and hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious thought and came
up with this solution:
First, I had my phone speed dial bitch #1. A woman answered nicely, "Hello?" I yelled, "You're a bitch!" but I didn't hang up. The bitch said, "Are you still there?" I
said, "Yeah." She said, "Stop calling me." I said, "Make me bitch". She said, "What's your name,?" So I told her, "Donna Hansen." She said, "Where do you live?" "1802
West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black BMW's parked out front."
"I'm coming over right now, Donna. You'd better start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, bitch!" and I hung up.
Then I called bitch #2.
Donna Hansen answered, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, bitch."
She said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your ass."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, Bitch!." And I hung up.
After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious satisfaction! Watching two bitches kicking the crap out of each other was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
Now you know what to do if you have a really bad day.
Wow!
