MarkFoster

... but you can get out of this predicament without using your imagination. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

mmm... with those procedures I believe you'd win accolades from the environmentalists and a big squishy hug from mother Gaia. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

mmm... drink decaf already (well mostly sugar with a drop of decaf). ... shouldn't be persecuted for having a bad gel day. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

...as you deploy your pilot chute, due a freak upper air disturbance, the pilot chute flies around and lodges itself in your nose. The bag comes, out but no main. And the bridle wraps around your neck. Meanwhile… a passing bald eagle, seeing you chaotically flaying in an attempt to extricate and unwrap the pilot chute, determines that you’re in heat and attempts mid-air mating, but during the amorous effort, catches a claw in your reserve handle and initiates reserve deployment at about the same time your main exits the bag. Your jump partner, then swoops in close (to capture the video, not to assist) and becomes entangled in the mess of jumper, lines, claws and feathers. The eagle, getting a little pissed at your lack of response and interruption by your partner, starts pecking at your eyes. Audibles are screeching at deafening levels… then it gets weird… strange thoughts flash through your brain, like… I can’t remember where I left my car keys” and “I’ll need to cancel my dentist appointment for tomorrow”… Your partner, cameral still rolling, is screaming “far out dude”, or something about your ancestry, it’s difficult to tell which, over the audible and eagle racket. The eagle, evidently finished wants to cuddle. How would you extricate yourself from this situation? ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

... tell them it belongs to your boyfriend ...that may confuse them long enough for you think of a compelling story about serial burglars who leave stuff instead of stealing. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

... Tandem Master Dicknose or Cheesesniffer... it'd be a difficult choice. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

It is apparent that some type of body art or attachment is a prerequisite to be a real skydiver and, having none, I feel somewhat inadequate. Tattoos and professional piercing seem like a time-consuming process and I’d like to try ways to be totally different. I thought maybe I could try a couple of do-it-yourself things just to see my comfort level before going to the pros. So… I acquired an industrial stapler (way cool, I can shoot insects from across the room… ‘course the wasps got a little pissed… different story). I have a few thoughts about what parts I could attach together or what things I could attach to parts, but other suggestions are appreciated. For example: Staple my tongue to my left nostril. Now I understand this may have some sexual appeal but I’m concerned about the hot-coffee-in-the-lap thing. Staple my forehead to my right knee. This would be unique for sure. But I’m still trying to figure out the logistics of driving. I’m also wondering about the effect this would have on my fall rate as well as even more difficulties with docking. Staple some type of shiny dangly things to my eyeballs. This approach, although probably esthetically the most pleasing, may create problems regarding goggle fit, although I suppose I won’t know for certain until I try. Staple Christmas lights to my groin area. This has a certain festive attraction, but I don’t want to come across as a religious fanatic, nor do I want to offend Buddhists. Also, I worry about electrical issues in the shower and it may be a little too sexually powerfull if used in conjunction with the tongue thing. All of the above or various combinations. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

Looks like you're in Colorado. There's an company at Centennial that does air combat which should include some aerobatics in T6 aircraft (ex-military trainers). Link: http://www.skyfighters.com ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

"Youth in Revolt" by C.D. Payne "Lamb" by Christoper Moore Two of the funniest books ever written. Both are laid-back, flowing and hilarious reads. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

1. Whats your name? Mark 2. How old are you? 51 3. Why did you decide to start jumping out of airplanes? the door was open & they made me 4. Are you single or taken? single evidently 5. Do you have kids? yes 6. What do you drive? Porsche 7. Have you ever done a kisspass? No (unless you count inflatable farm animals) 8. Where do you live? Minnesota 9. Do you have any pets? Do fleas count? 10. How many jumps do you have? 1000ish 11. What color eyes do you have? greenish 12. What is your nationality? US 13. Have you ever dated someone you met off the internet? met & ran... not dated 14. Favorite Movie? many... but like British comedy a lot 15. What do you do when you arent skydiving? write music & do business crap 16. Have you ever BASE jumped? no 17. If not... do you want to? maybe 18. Do you have siblings? 2 brothers, 2 sisters 19. Where do you want to travel to the most? Australia, New Zealand (have done Europe & Middle East) 20. What's your favorite color? plaid 21. Where was the last place you flew to ( not skydiving )? all over the dang place ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

... jumped a beaver a few times (no pornography intended). ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

...mmm ...broke an ankle & tore ligaments a number of years ago playing basketball. ... wanted to go skiing, so after 3 weeks took a hatchet and tried to chop off the cast. ... 10 stitches. ... doctor dropped me as a patient, said he should have amputated (from the neck up). ... more or less agreed with him. ... so three weeks... sorta. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

... so should I expect to be hearing from the SPCA or Pat Robertson? ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

My friends dog has been demonstrating amorous intentions on my leg recently. I'm concerned. Is it wrong that I'm flattered by the attention. Is this reaction simply a result of my dating drought... or a reflection of deeper and more disburbing issues? ... since it's a male, does this make me gay or just ambiguous? It's all quite confusing. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

... thanks, but kinda frightened by the clicky noise keyboards make. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

roflmao ??? ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

Dear Ex1: I understand the house thing, but what possible use do you have for my underwear? Uncomfortably yours, Mark ------------------------------------------------------ Dear Ex2: No, I don’t think your attorney needs a new car and Porsche’s are more practical than Ferrari’s anyway. Recalcitrantly yours, Mark ------------------------------------------------------ Dear mushrooms on my steak: Are you truly closely related to the fungus on my feet? Disgustedly yours, Mark ------------------------------------------------------ Dear guy in the restroom: Thanks, but I don’t do that anymore and no, I have not been surgically enhanced. Embarrassedly yours, Mark ------------------------------------------------------ Dear packer: Ouch. Spiraling yours, Mark ------------------------------------------------------ Dear Earth: Do I ever get to win an argument? Fragilely yours, Mark ------------------------------------------------------ Dear rash: Have we met before? Do you come here often? Irritatingly yours, Mark ------------------------------------------------------ Dear nose: Thanks for storing all the hair that fell through my brain and now resides with you. Hirsuitedly yours, Mark ------------------------------------------------------ Dear food poisoning: Thanks for the memories. Torrentially yours, Mark ------------------------------------------------------ Dear girlfriend (ex) during food poisoning episode: Sorry about that. I know that you’d flush me from your heart if the drain wasn’t clogged with my nose hair. Sympathetically yours, Mark ------------------------------------------------------ Dear self: Other than… displaying the charm of an armpit, being as financially responsible as an Enron exec, having the personality of a tapeworm and the creativity of an intestine… other than that, you don’t have a lot going for you. Except maybe your ability to retrieve olives from a jar with your toenails… thankfully something… and that’s impressive. Optimistically yours, Me ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

Jumped a PC1000 this weekend (about 10 jumps). Perfect video, saturated colors, zero blurring, zero artifacts. Recorded in 16:9 and tried a couple of jumps with the "Cinematic" mode. Haven't had a chance to compare the standard clips vs. "Cinematic" yet. Next weekend (Rantoul) I'll use 4:3. Still learning though. Very pleased with the ergonomics and quality, especially compared with my pc350. Sure wish these folks would put the video out on the left side though. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

for self-protection I cannot answer that question ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

Knowing that males are more than shameless about when and where and how body odor is distributed (it is obvious that women are more courteous by far), I was wondering if any men had experienced any interesting moments with their partners (this poll could be reversed easily and I’m sure more accurately from a female perspective, reflecting I suppose a more frequent occurrence. But since it should be an immeasurably less frequent occurrence from a male’s perspective that is the one we’ll take for this poll and damned the political correctness. In order to protect the innocent(?), disclosure as to whether or not the idea for this poll was derived from actual events will be withheld. So… The background… You are in a budding relationship. You know... that stage when you’ve disclosed to each other a limited number of your more endearing “quirks”, but not yet those that may result in restraining orders. She is confident and independent yet delicate, feminine and gentle. In your eyes she is too attractive to be with you, yet she is. You both desire a progression in the relationship. All is fresh and exploratory and good. The scenario… You are engaged in pleasing her with mouth and tongue… her favorite time of intimacy. A few minutes into the endeavor, she involuntarily (you hope and pray) releases intestinal atmosphere. This release is not one of those minor little puffs of odorless effervescence that we imagine are all that is possible for these angelic creatures… …no, this is one of those “truck-driver-after-a-week-of-beer-and-chili” liberations. This is the big bang that seems to last as long as the age of the universe, where time slows down and each second seems to be a year. This is the one where you are immediately rendered deaf and are positive that the damage is permanent. This is one where you begin to think about finding a plastic surgeon for grafting new skin over the 3rd degree burns you feel you must have suffered. Your tear ducts produce fluid like fire hydrants… and it’s not enough. You know the foundations of buildings for miles around the epicenter have been compromised. If you could still hear, there is no doubt that car alarms for blocks are screaming in outrage. She looks down at you, smiles demurely and responds in a sweet, somewhat strained voice “Oops. Sorry” (you garnered this from lip-reading of course). Questions bounce around in your head, orbiting the ringing from non-functional ears… Was it deliberate, and if so was she being malicious or being playful? If she was being playful, could I survive malicious? Will my eyebrows grow back? On a more positive note, will I ever have to trim my noise hair again? Could I have suffered irreparable DNA damage due to immersion in what may be radioactive molecules with eon-spanning half-life? Is her voice strained because there’s another on its way…. my god, could the next one be bigger? The poll questions how you would react to this life-changing (if not life threatening) event. Do you: 1. tell her you like it and thank her for giving so much of herself to you? 2. die immediately? 3. wish you were dead? 4. think about it and then die? 5. see dead people? 6. compliment her about her knees? 7. have a religious epiphany and join a Tibetan monastery? 8. recite biblical passages in Latin? 9. open the windows (or roll down the windows if you’re that cheap), crawl back and finish the activity as if nothing happened? 10. begin singing the Hungarian national anthem? 11. leap up so hard you crack the ceiling plaster, change into all black clothing, run from the room to the nearest freeway and lie down in the high speed lane? 12. offer your own personalized scent so she knows you’re comfortable in sharing? 13. wonder if the next time her stomach growls, you will suffer a massive seizure? 14. look for solids? 15. check to see if you’ve lost any fillings? 16. compliment her about her eyes? 17. stick fingers from both hands up your nostrils to the elbow and continue without the use of those hands? 18. recall that you do this on a fairly continuous basis and finally come to understand that this may be one of the reasons why she cries after sex (not necessarily the only reason)? ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

It seems like a few points were missed (unless I missed them in the threads)... First, wind direction, exclusive of gust/sheer, has nothing to do with canopy performance. Period. It is only relevant to path over the ground. Second, assuming the landing zone is not as narrow as a runway, a carving turn from crosswind across the ground can mitigate the restrictions that an aircraft has requiring cross-controls (slip) to maintain heading on the runway. Under canopy you can have a curved landing. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

John, thank you for your thoughts and help on the link. The link doesn't appear to work however and I don't know how to fix. Thanks again, Mark ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone

Eric Wagar, a friend who jumped with us frequently in Baldwin and Hutchinson was killed November 17 during a BASE jump. I'm posting the link below to the "Base" forum thread because many of Erich's friends may not typically go to that forum and may be unaware of the event. BASE Forum Thread Edited by slotperfect to make the link clicky

It seemed like he lived life more fully than most of us are capable. Everyone that knew him will miss him... more than these inadequate words can express. Gretchen, Max... be well. Mark

First jump 20 months ago, AFF, at 54. ------------------- ...if ignorance is bliss, I'm in Nirvana... you don't know what you don't know 'til you don't know it. GravityGone