Twoply
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Everything posted by Twoply
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Oh,...I though we were..., uh... nothing.
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I took a syringe and injected the liquid portion of the contents of a can of sardines into the seats of a guy's vehicle once.
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People who eat by slurping, chewing with their mouths open, and belch often. In the construction field where I work, I sometimes am able to take solitude in my truck to have a quiet half hour to do a crossword without having to stomach the babble from other people. By circumstance, a guy ended up in my passenger seat to have lunch. I told him at the end of the day that he can no longer eat in my vehicle. I cannot stand being able to hear each and every motion some slob's jaw makes when he's chewing his fucking balogna sandwich. Please shut your mouth and have some courtesy for others. Think about it, it might be you.
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I never hear of any launches to get a new verizon wireless or Fox news satellite into orbit. Why is that?
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What a terrible idea. Let's get something that has no capability for higher brain function than to decide if it should eat something or not. "Oh but thats the beauty of it. It's simplicity." Yeah, but does anyone consider me "beautiful" for having a focused mind set on satisfying sexual urges and Taco Bell? Noooooo. I get called a "pig" and then she takes her son and leaves my daughter's birthday party right in the middle of the presents being opened. She brought a weird gift anyways. Honestly, who gives a 3 year old a garden hose for a present? People are weird.
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Has anyone here followed through with some kind of meditaion? I'm right on the edge of attending a meditaion practice/ class. Advice? Pm if you like Thanks Miek
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Who knows what things mean in prison? What the hell is a "Bull" queer?
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Man I do sound like an old grouch. Truth is I'm really laughing picturing clipping old grandpa...*thud*
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Why do you have sex? Study released gives 237 answers.
Twoply replied to lawrocket's topic in The Bonfire
When you're in the middle of it and you hear your wife whispering to herself "He's not raping me, he loves me." -
What the hell is with people who walk along the side of the road like they are a bicyclist? And yes there is a sidewalk. On BOTH sides of the road! Is this happening where you live? Stupid people just fuck up traffic for the street. Never a better use for a car door going just about 18mph.
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Totally shit my pants about a month ago at around 6am in a Home Depot after a late night of drinking. I was getting bolts for work in the hardware aisle and it felt like a knife in my ass. My bottom let loose and there was no stopping it. I waddled to the restrooms and cut my undies off and threw them away. Fucking soft tacos.
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I'm so sick of people getting pregnant who aren't ready or wanting to. Don't people know what the hell causes it nowadays? A friend of the family is pregnant again. This one the guy and girlfriend are going to keep. They aborted the last one. She has a 2 year old daughter from another one night stand. I'm not feeling the least bit sorry for them or do I have much respect for their intelligence. He claims "We were really drunk." I have been blitz off my ass, but I've always had that voice in my head telling me to make a mess of the sheets instead of making a person. If it happens once to a couple, I can understand it. It happens. But some people are just flat out stupid. "Banging without protection can and/or will get you pregnant." Put that on the labels of pork rinds. If you're dumb enough to eat those, you probably trust things you read on wrappers.
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Never underestimate the power of cooking to turn women on!
Twoply replied to Twoply's topic in The Bonfire
The best french toast recipe ever! Just made this the other day. www.allrecipes.com/Recipe/French-Toast-Casserole/Detail.aspx The sex afterwards was delightfully maple sticky! -
I have the ability to become severely irritated by distracted drivers and people must verbalize the most obvious things. Example: "Make sure you look behind you before you back up the forklift." Wow buddy, the thought never occured to me. It happens so fast, it's breathtaking.
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What's the purpose of interrupting a movie to tell that it's going to rain? These news channels are jsut going crazy warning me that there's a 40% chance that there will be hail, strong winds and a possibility of lightning. I wouldn't be so irritated except that this warning is right in the middle of Austin Power's Goldmember.
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"Just leave the dishes there and I'll get them in the morning." "Ok honey, have a good time. Call me if you get arrested."
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Tonight was nothing special but yesterday it was A homemade augraten potato casserole with some kind of dark tasty mushrooms, onions, and a seasoned cauliflower. It was fantastic. My wife is a very experimental cook. She makes something new a few times a week. And she's hot!
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I'm looking to contact someone that I'm pretty sure is at your DZ. Please pm me for a name. Its for something good, really. Thanks Mike
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I invented the "Swiffer" about 4 or five years before it was on the market. Not to say the swiffer's owner didnt patent it earlier thatn that... I used a drywall pole sander and put a wiping cloth on the end to clean my hardwood floors. Never occured to me to patent the idea, but I shake my head at the though of it everytime. Since then I've applied for patents on all ideas I have.
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that define who you are.
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Fall asleep while fucking soon-to-be wife. She told the therapist even.
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Aside from Laverne, who really drinks this? Nasty
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901.3 A new record for me Make that 1006.5
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Theres a bloody version?!? Link?
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How is this possibly more important than a discussion about underoos?