Twoply
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Everything posted by Twoply
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She's had some strange aversion to clipping her toenails ever since she was little. They have grown very long and have curled down over the ends of her toes. She's a bit heavy and but loves to chase our pug Steve around the house. I've tried to trim them while she was sleeping but she gets really mad.
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I just spent the last 4 hours with a belt sander sanding out the scratches in my new hardwood floors from my wife's toenails. By the looks of things, it's going to take me all weekend.
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My saturday night question.
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I just leaned over to take a swig of beer and spilled it on my newborn. I feel like white trash.
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Why do soft drink cans have expiration dates and beer cans have born on dates?
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I dont really know if I purposely count things but there are a lot. I know exactly how many pairs of shoes I've had since I was around 13. 24 pair
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I worked over at Heinz in glorious Fremont, Ohio for a while tearing down a building. Almost the whole town smells like ketchup and everything you eat tastes like a hotdog. My jacket and bibs smelled like that for a long long time after the job was over. I worked at Smuckers in Orrville, Ohio too for a few days taking down an old conveyor belt system that would handle the jars of jelly. All my clothes and tools were sticky and smelled like strawberries for months afterwards. I couldn't really complain about that. It was funny. Somewhat related to your post but fun nonetheless.
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I just opened the 548th bar of soap since I was 12. I have always kept track of bars of soap for some reason. My brother used to put new bars in when one was getting low and then replace a new bar with an old saved one just to mess with my count. I got him back though. I'd get the address of every girl he ever dated and send them closeup pictures of his face while sleeping. I would type on the envelopes so he'd never know it was me. He moved away years ago and we dont talk much.
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Did you have them put in an extra stitch or two? I don't know if it's true, but I heard you can ask for that. Best said in a loud hillbilly voice..."Yeah, or leave a stitch out to make it a little bigger for me! Heh heh heh!" *big knee slap*
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Actually she had a level 2 tear which means her hoo ha tore open while trying to stretch out to let my daughter's whale of a head come out. So momma's got stiches there and she's being stubborn about it. Typical woman.
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They say a gentleman waits at least until the placenta is out.
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All of you, knock it off. How rude to take my post about a woman's flower, hijack and defile it with slander and insults. Honestly....
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My wife had a baby awhile ago. As of this coming Tuesday, it will be 6 weeks. She has a doctor's appointment to get her hoo-ha checked out to see if it's back to good-to-go mode. Let us all pray. It's been over 5 months....
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I have a dog and I'm a dog person, but I hate it when people bring dogs to the dz and let them run loose. I've brought my pug and had him tied up far away from the active areas but still able to play with the kids. When I'm packing and a big ass whatever dog comes up and blows snot all over the side of my ear really pisses me off.
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I like to put some dish washing liquid soap in the toilet then pee really hard. You'd be surprised how huge you can make the bubbles. Edit to add: Go on try it!
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What would your first move be if you won the $294 million lottery?
Twoply replied to Twoply's topic in The Bonfire
"You dont need a million dollars for that." "You do to have the kind of girls to double up on a guy like me." -
What would your first move be if you won the $294 million lottery?
Twoply replied to Twoply's topic in The Bonfire
I'd think I'd have to get an attorney and cpa team to brain out a way to keep as much as possible instead of giving half of it to taxes. Then go collect it. Then I'd pork my wife in the front yard. -
I saw a guy in our crew ask another guy in the crew for a gear check. The guy giving the gear check just waited a second, then gave him the pat on the back. Later that night I asked what they thought constituted a gear check. The guy who asked for the gear check said "Just for someone to pat me and say 'you're all good." I fucking loved it.
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How old were you when coffee started tasting good? Right about the time I started to wear a robe.
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That's just a typical A here in Cleveland.
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give the finger right before giving their picture taken? Seems that people that do that are prone to a life of heavy lifting.
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Phil Cazzone?
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Why do people still sport the old kentucky waterfall haircut? Don't they know it's been long, long over?
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Depending if it's woven together or just one continuous roll, one can just cut it, separate it, gain access, then re-weave it back together giving the illusion that it's been untouched. I know I never really investigate our security fence anymore than a glance when it looks good. Just be intelligent about making it look good afterwards. Although just staying away from jumping all together is the best bet.
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Our crew has been known to get several pieces of pipe, like one inch stuff. Pieces being around 3"-0" Put the pipes through the corner of the chain links in the fencing fabric itself at intervals like a ladder. It gives you a ladder up the outside and down the inside. Pull the pipes and throw them off to the side. Help to get over the razor wire without having to look for a footrest.