I am just starting AFF, and I am still at the stage where that apprehension on the ride to altitude is still palpable. However, you have touched on the very thing that keeps me going--I know that some day (perhaps soon) that "metal clarity" will kick in. From my very first jump, I realized that this sport, unlike any other, could provide that sense of complete focus, of being entirely in the moment. (Has anyone ever written "Zen and the Art of Skydiving"?) It is the anticipation of that moment, not the adrenaline rush, that keeps me going. Thanks for letting me know that it is out there...and, hopefully, only a few levels away!