huffermoose

ahha got your attention this time! right i am fairly new to the sport (18 jumps & cat A) but am planning to travel anywhere in the world and find a place that for a solid 3 weeks (between 10th july and 31st of july) i can jump my arse off and party till i drop each night, with out the hinderance of bad weather and lack of beer, (i can see everone mumbling the words "only place you get that is heaven") but i'm open to ideas i am from the u.k and am willing to travel anywhere any ideas and is anyone interested in coming along??? cheers Allan

prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrp! "excuse me"

this made me chuckle when i read this one blue skies and amber liquid Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 1. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane." 2. Pilot: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land. It's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern." 3. After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." 4. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. Whoa!" 5. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell verything has shifted." 6. From a Southwest Airlines mployee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more." 7. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but they'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money more than Southwest Airlines." 8. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. In the event of an emergency water landing, please take them with our compliments." 9. "As you exit the plane, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. please do not leave children or spouses." 10. "Last one off the plane must clean it." 11. From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately none of them are on this flight." 12. This was overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach, the captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the flight attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" 13. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." 14. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a, "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny,did we land or were we shot down?" 15. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the flight attendant got on the PA and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt up against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal." 16. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go sting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."

a huffer moose is a well do you know what a woman is like when you call her a moooooooose? well i went skydiving got incredibly drunk and once the beer goggles came on i thought she did not look to bad well lets just say i had to gnaw through my arm the morning after on the basis that i wouldn't wake her up thus calling my self a huffer moose

gday gus the photo's a bit vague so am not sure but hey no worries if your free lets carve up the skies for a while, as for the helo's on the rigs they are old belle 34's i think they are called? a bit like the hueys (the flying and not the puking kind) and it's a miracle they fly at all let alone get up to a height above 1000 ft, but will be back in 4 weeks time (roughly) so i'll drop you a line Cheers Allan

Right just a big high to anyone from langar, yep allan here have just completed my aff and consols and just want to say thanks to all down there i had a blinding time (steve i'm sure you'll manage to learn how to do sambucas without getting third degree burns) the only mishap was me disapearing off with a right huffer moose (hence the name) on the wednesday night, i didn't half get some ribbing for that! But alas i am once again stuck on an oil platform 40 miles off the coast of west africa looking at blue skies and am once again anxious to get up there again. i'll be over there hopefully in 4 / 5 weeks time, anyone who knows me drop me a line cheers Allan