mnobles

Thanks Melissa for very specific advice and you two guys for some good perspective--it's true that getting out of the plane is a lot better than being in it at this point for me! This forum and some private postings have given me immense encouragement!!! It's also helped me a lot to kind of talk this out in writing. Skydiving is the best thing I've ever done and two miles high is the best place I've ever been. I'm expectant at this point that I'll get past this new guy stuff if I just stick with the sport. Again, again, my very great thanks. Mindy

Thanks, Andrea, and all of you who have made supportive posts here. It helps me to know this is probably just a normal stage. A couple of you ask exactly what it is that makes me fight panic. I'd like to try to describe it and get some feedback about it. It's like this: I jump from a Cessna 182 and ride in the student's position on the floor next to the pilot, back against the front panel. I'm sitting on the floor in this vulnerable little fetal position, kind of looking up at everyone else. I can't see out the window because I'm not quite tall enough. I'm pretty much immobile because of my heavy student's rig. I feel helpless, trapped, or not in control--something like that. Then, when the door opens, I'm RIGHT next to it--not six or even three inches away but right there--and feeling that way. At that point, it just feels like I'm in grave danger, which I know is completely irrational. It starts getting better when we start the exit, maybe because I can finally DO something. But it's not a good frame of mind to be in at the outset. Once I get into the sky, I'm pretty much fine. Does that sound abnormal? I'd appreciate your candid feedback. My instructors tell my exits are good, and that my freefall form is excellent. I've performed the dive flow well except on that bad second jump. I keep my head during freefall, except on that jump. But this panic business takes a lot of energy to control, energy I could be putting into concentration or enjoyment, or both. My instructors have been supportive, BTW, but it's been hard for me to explain this feeling to them as I just did above--maybe I'll print this posting out for them. Again, thanks so much, all of you. Flygirl03 has also sent me some private postings that have been great. Mindy

Thrilled to have found this forum and hope to be a good contributer over time. Help me, please! I've jumped four times. I've got a bad, bad problem that's threatening to stop me cold. First time was perfect--AFF w/o flaws. Visualization mantra stemmed all nervousness in preflight minutes and ascent. Jump was no problem--just do the stuff! 100%. Second jump--new AFF jumpmaster on reserve. An asshole. Two hours late to field, angry, rushed, yelling (no, make that bellowing) at wife while I was getting into aircraft to dive with him. I was so unsettled that I totally, totally blew 2nd jump. Third jump--panic on ascent, but good. Fourth jump--panic on ascent, but perfect. Fifth jump attempt--panicked on runway, stopped plane, got off. CURRENT NEED FOR HELP: I realize that the ascent and door opening scare the life out of me. I'm fine once I get out, but all the way up, I'm scared. It doesn't help that I had a really, really bad jump the second time and had felt the same panic on the way up but ignored it. I think I'm associating. But I also have the ascent and door-opening panic anyway. On my first jump, visualization of the planned freefall was like meditation. How do I overcome this panic? Aggressiveness? Mental logic? Meditation? Pul-leaze provide insight. I jump again next Saturday and am afraid I'll blow it before I ever get to dive. Thanks, Mindy