Slyde

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o eD A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

You are either WITH the terrorists, or they are without you. Please change the menu right away. A former Frankfort Hot Dog. We need change we can be heaved it. pork r eDo ONWARD! A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

We don't need no stinking airplanes. We already know how to fly. We ARE aviators for fuck sake. Pilots are swimmers who stink up our space. They should be turned down. face down Ask your expert from HEADquarters. If the flight crew is female, is it no longer a cockpit, but a box office? pork r eDo Onward A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

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So are Osteriches. How DO they get under that sand their heads? A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

reply] well put we should change that on a load A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

"What's that one guy's name that came here from USPA?" JS? "Yeah! He's got his hand in EVERYBODY's back pocket." speaker anonymous until proven honest A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Why does Ray call it Dork Zone dot com? A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Caustic humor: Chanelling Frank Zappa on USPA: When now your Uncle asks of You you offer Peter Piper and seldom wonder what he'll do when hunted by the scribers. A loyal soldier, friend and true is capable to cipher. But Peter Piper's mess-kit-stew fermented in Bill's diaper. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

I'm pretty sure that was his last demo. He's a tough act to follow. I'm not optomistic thus far about the near future. But if we keep smiling, laughing and needling the little pair on or about the cheeks and sphincters ... well ... it seems the doctor was OUT for a while there. eDo onward. (Also pictured, DZO Karl Priggee & gymnast Howard Sphincter aboard the illegal flight to honor O & W & 100 years of powered flight.) efdd (do demos) m~ A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

My favorite mentor has said to many skydivers: "If we didn't have USPA we would have to invent USPA." Is that still true? Do we even NEED this mutated outfit anymore? This USs PAy? Has our vessle sailed it's course? Is it floating our sport over and into troubled waters? Waters where we are regulated into oblivion by higher and higher operational costs from excessive regulations? Is there Cancer on the Bridge, doctor? This bridge over troubled waters? Is it a good idea that Federal Government tell you how to spend your weekend at SPORT RECREATION, or is it time to deregulate and get Uncle Sam OUT of our sport? FAA WOULD LOVE TO DEREGULATE. They have tried before. (More on this and WHY it failed later.) FAA knows they have no business regulating sport. USPA labors to change their minds; to fool them into sustaining the rust-bucket, dump-truck-aircraft carrier; the employer and plaything of a small handful of elitists. It is sad but true that USPA must continue its quest to BE your uncle, Sam. Steadily, day by day, Feds are beginning to assume that USPA is not voluntary. This will turn around and you can accelerate the process if you wish to help. Maybe the USs PAy has sailed it's course and maybe it is time that the flat world and global communication marketplace take over where USPA left off. Return to being the once loved Parachute Club of America. Please. It's time. I don't like being pushed around by Uncle Sam after voting and paying my taxes ... or my dues for 31 years. YOU DON't need higher dues or any dues at all in a flat world. Not in America either, if you have some balls. There are SMARTER ways to buy insurance and education. Like, look around. Here you are. USPA is the problem. Not the solution, me thinks. Give it time. I believe USPA will prove it to you American jumpers and global observers. The ship is run agrounded. Check out your new directors. Same old same old. plus randy oh deer! we're in deep doo doo kidz Please stay tuned. The Sphincter Brothers are on the air. eDo Onward. pork r Pick your sphincters from the attached photo in honor of Orville & Wilbur. luv, slyde Spare change you can believe in. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

The requirement to be considered an expert is simply to BE considered. You see what you want to see ~n all that rot. You might learn to trust those who are able to say "I don't know." And you are fortunate when they add: "... but I can find out for you." (It's a hint that the speaker wants you to stick around.) You speak as an expert, I believe, only when you are connected to the origin of the knowledge you share. References, baby. If he can't say where he got it, she can't say where it has been. Better wash your hands. Do not be afraid to ask. "How do you know that?" and/or "Are you sure about that?" or even: "Who told you THAT?!" "Just remember where you came from, Mark." Joe Smith, 1982 A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Beauty is in the eye of the beerholder. Hatred is not in mine. Your other thoughts are respectable. Thanks. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

No worries, Matt. Perhaps you might change your mind one day. USPA has a serious problem on staff. Illuminating such with caustic comedy also reveals some who cannot smile as they look, listen and learn. Thank you, sir. Pork R And that's MY iNDY 500. Your capital I is still automatic, me thinks. The Sphincter Brothers are on the air. eDo onward. The Brewmaster at Sacramento's BrewItUp.com is an extreme sportsman, and exNavy photographer, and has been planning for years to enter our sport with characteristic enthusiasm. His name is John. If we can help him accomplish his goals, I believe he will make ours a better and less thirsty world in which to fly to the center of the earth. rock on Matt hew. hue 2 ... 4Q A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

A forum for discussing demos is past due. After 33 years skydiving, 28 years doing demos including the past 13 years doing demos as a full-time occupation, after more than 1100 performances and an average of 50 performances per year since 1987, I can tell you that there is an uninvented industry, the effect from which I believe, once nurtured into existence, can have a very positive long-term influence on the growth of the sport parachute industry. Witness: Uncle Sam's marketing efforts for recruiting and making soldiers, sailors and airmen include the Blue Angels, the Thunderbirds and the Golden Knights. The word "demo" evolves from those old demonstration teams. BUT: We need a huge paradigm shift. We need to stop thinking about the short term gain from our entertainment services. Entertaining audiences as professional entertainers will eventually cause event producers to begin trusting a new industry - the skydiving entertainment industry. Producers today do NOT trust skydivers. For most intents and purposes, the skydiving entertainment industry DOES NOT exist today except for a very scant handful of elitist skygods and soldiers who like their tighty niche left alone. And except for me. I need seedlings so this entertainment industry can sprout, grow and spread. Don't be a recruiter. Don't think like a grunt. Don't demonstrate anything. Entertain according to the first rule of the entertainment business: always leave them wanting more. Ask most seasoned DZO's and they will tell you that "demos" don't pay for themselves and are NOT effective marketing tools. I can see clearly that this is only a problem of attitude and perception. It is not likely to change however, from the DZO's perspective. The DZ biz and the skydiving entertainment biz need to exist independently from one another. Don't ever let a performance slow down a DZ's service. The return on any single performance is not a short term gain for the DZ (or a very small one at best.) The goal instead: show the event production industry that there is a population of entertainers they can trust. Build it and they will come. Trust me. They will come. The demo market is vast and virtually untapped. It must be tapped not by fun jumpers and DZO's. It will grow and expand when the demand can be serviced by our new supply of entertainment professionals who happen to be experts at aerial delivery. Trust me. Producers are waiting while we sit on our hands. Let's get this discussion underway. Please. m~ "The rest of them are all a bunch of cowboys." Michael Verlatti, JHE Event Productions, 2000 producers of Wright Brothers Centennial, 2003 I see a 500-way performances ... someday. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Does ANYBODY know whether ANYBODY - an American Military Veteran - has yet been able to draw VOCATIONAL TRAINING benifits from Uncle Sam for vocational training in the field of sport parachuting? Say a rigger's certificate or an AFF rating perhaps? If not, what's taking so long? Other countries have done it for more than a DECADE. USPA's president and Vice President are both grunts. Shouldn't they have figured this out long ago? No. Wait. It's USPA. Nevermind. They're too busy with beginners and amateurs. eDo onward luv slyde A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Deer Dr. J, Smoke 'em if ya got 'em. Are you an elitist? Do you enjoy the smallness of your sport? Do you have something to gain by keeping it all for yourself? Are you USPA? Isn't it nice that you can do anything you like in your tidy, tighty little universe? O?! Oh! But, but, butt!?? What if there were a MILLION of us, not just a pathetic 34K as you boast? Two million? Just imagine it. Disposable, single use canopies that pack up smaller than a carton of cigarettes. Sure! Why not? We have the technology. But no! That won't do. We have an image to uphold. WE can't have THAT! We can't encourage just ANYBODY to enter our compact little sphere. Our little sphere is TIGHT! It's clenched! Puckered even! Don't loose your grip, Eddie. eDo Onward! Don't let crazy people participate. Been there. Done that. No! No! No! We are BETTER now. Quite right. Won't do. Quite right. Won't do. Quite right. Won't doo. Smoke 'em if ya got 'em. Good for biz; C? Should it not be the ambition and the dream of every physician to eliminate the need for his profession? Not in America. Not today. Heal thyself, bambi! It doesn't work like that. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Is that even possible? Do we have 500 skydiving entertainers? How long will it take to make 500 of them ... from scratch? Got an itch. m~ A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

No, in this new day and age the buzz words are "professional exhibition" (unless it's really a stunt, dressed as a demo) (or you hit the tuba player some people never get to live it down, but you can make the flying Elvis team so it's all good dude.) The idea is to get across the fact: Demos or Professional Exhibitions are services provided for the sake of entertaining audiences. Advancement and evolution of the profession, I think requires an understanding of the mission - a professional entertainment service. There might need to be a discussion on how to effectively dodge a tuba. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

I have written via email to "editor@dropzone.com" to ask that a new heading be added to the sight where topics specifically related to skydiving entertainment can be discussed. I promise to WRITE, write, write profusely for that site. The ideas and their evolution will become the textbook for Demo Academics. Much of it is already written. You need to tweak me. I believe in credit where credit is due btw. Please help me persuade the site manager to allow this new "Skydiving Entertainment" heading in Forums. And let's stop calling them "demos." (I'll change the name of the course, eventually. I promise.) m~ A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

In 1959, some big ass-hole from Texas said we should all "beware." I won't mention his name just yet, but his initials are I.E. He is from Dennison. It's up there on top a Sherman. This is a thought. It is a thought which compares your USPA with the military industrial complex. It will doo this comparison with questions. Questions like: Does USPA seek to represent YOU? Or does USPA seek to CONTROL you? Or: Does USPA make your sport bigger and more prosperous? Or does USPA concentrate on making ITSELF bigger and more prosperous? Well, aren't they one and the same? You ask. Isn't my sport bigger and more prosperous if USPA is bigger and more prosperous? Maybe so; maybe not. They just raised your dues. That should cause more skydives to occur. Right? You should hope so. Right? Causing more skydives to occur would seem rather fundamental. No? USPA would never strive to stop skydives from occurring. Right? And how about regulations? Adult entertainment should be regulated. No? There should be limits on how much fun you should have. Right? And the Federal Government REALLY should limit your entertainment in the name of public safety. Right? Is YOUR USPA responsible for restricting your weekend fun? FAA thinks that it IS. I can tell you with absolute certainty, ladies and gentlemen that FAA EXPECTS USPA to be the police. I can tell you with absolute certainty ladies and gentlemen that USPA LOVES being the police. And I believe they will deny it when you ask. Please ask. Please ask. Please ask. And while you're at it. Ask them about deregulation. FAA would LOVE to deregulate your sport. What business should the FEDS have in regulating a bunch of high-spirited, highly affluent, highly educated, fun-loving and spiritual humans in the practice of their chosen form of relaxation? Ike said beware. Are your higher USsPAy dues chipping in to the military industrial complex? Is USPA under the current care, custody and control of 2 soldiers and 2 sissies? Maybe so. Maybe not. Sale on good ship USsPAy. There's may be a need for more frequent soundings aft. You've a crack astern. m~ slyde that's sphincter as in sssfugguuu A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

As overpopulation kills, is a bear in the woods roman over red poop? luv, slyde let's MOON these saxn dogs!! too, toot, toot, pork r sew our toyz m1 tow eeze R US!! A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

What would you have done with the USPA investments, and when? I WOULDN'T HAVE. I'M UNDERQUALIFIED. How much do you think they deserve to be paid? TELL US THE NUMBER. WE SHALL KICK IT AROUND. Should being wealthy be a disqualifying factor for board members? ASK OBAMA. Does being an inactive jumper make someone incapable of serving jumpers? THE LONGER I GO WITHOUT A BATH, THE LESS I LOVE MYSELF. You don't think that employees have the right to move to newer, better jobs? YOU WILL CONTINUE TO SEE WHAT I THINK. GET GLASSES. FILL 'EM WITH HOMEBREW. How much money can be saved by printing "Parachutist" on cheaper paper? What will that do to the quality of the photos? GOOD QUESTIONS! Thank you Bobo! Thank you Schultz! Nice buzz jobs!! A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

In the interest of full disclosure and American transparency, does ANYBODY really know what's going on with your USPA? And would anybody be offended if I characterize the private exclusive-bod club as a vessle? May I please call it the USsPAy? I mean can you even figure it out? Like: Have you EVER seen so much WHITE space on the column as when PARACHUTIST gave farewell credit to Mike Truffer and SKYDIVING MAGAZINE? What's up with that? Or: Like, HOW did nobody see those BIG cash reserves turning south and inadvertently "causing" your dues to go up THIS MONTH in this economy? Who's minding THAT store? (And how does one become ADvertent? Is that even a WORD that leads to inadvertent?) OR: Like, HOW much do you pay those employees? OR: Like How many millionaires with private aircraft for transportation are ELECTED by you and do they even SKYDIVE while they SIT on you bored? OR: Do you like how they solve problems when people complain too much? Does this administration remind you of the LAST administration, and the 1 before that and the 1 before that? And that? AND: Did you notice that it has taken them FOUR months to publish the election results in that deceptively slick and expensively produced PARACHUTIST mag? How many organizations of a mere 34 thou, publish a stiff-spined rag. One of your rank employees not too far back, left headquarters in a hurry and went to work as Executive Director for an outfit with almost SIX times as many members and THEY use affordable papers and binding methods with THEIR members' dooze money. What a doozey. And like, doesn't it seem like the paper ballot system the good ship and crew (USsPAy) perpetuates for Board Elections reflects something about our technological condition and election trustworthiness? Do you have any phone numbers and email addresses saved on paper up near the front of your latest issue of the deceivingly slick and expensively produced PARACHUTIST mag. Come on! Send it in! If the food's not right? Don't eat it. Talk to your server. He wants your tip money after all, before you slip out the back without paying, Jack. luv, slyde bangs, bang max-well's silver coffee pot cooks it for your heads paper hangers need more glue to stick stripes around your bed A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!