Slyde

There is ALWAYS room for improvement. Does anybody know where the Sigma comes from? Me neither, for the most part. Ain't Greek. Never was. From the Greek alphabet. In the context of Six Sigma it refers to the 6th standard deviation (which I think is equivalent to about 1 part per million?). Can't remember for sure though. I've also seen it used to indicate a summing operation, like in Exel. p.s. - Interesting post, in an amusing way. Where you heading with this? Saying we should apply Six Sigma quality analysis to skydiving? Thank you! Very interesting. SIX sd's? Man! That's WAY out from under the bell-shaped curve! I'm not sure where the quality industry has gone as far as applying said principles from mfg. to service. Where I'm heading? Head? Did somebody say Head? I"LL take some of THAT! Voluptuous pilots somehow seem to give us the best heading. But I'm out to steer around a rodeo or two that just ain't got the best stock in the pens out back of the bucking chutes in plain view of the audience. See? Well, it'll come to ya eventually. It's entertainment; show biz; all in all itz all for the curtain call. Please stay tuned. The Sphincter Brothers are ON the air. And they're ridin' HARD in the saddle. Musically speaking: (tap your toes) You? You! Ewe? Eew! U? Ooh! "o"? Eeeww. "ting tang walla eDo bang banggs." I told the witch doctor, I was in love with ewe. my ba-a-a-a-a-d luv, slyde Thank you, Cri-i-i-i-spy. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

In 2003, a company named JHE out of North Carolina produced a 100-way skydiving demonstration as a small part of it's glorius production to celebrate 100 years since Orville & Wilbur took off without wearing a rig. Five guys were tapped to round up 20 skydivers each. Lots of empowerment was built in to the game plan. The plan let the 5 guys design their own components to the performance. There were some crew dogs, some flagit, some belly flyers, some more belly flyers, a cranky dog or 2 ... lots of stuff. According to several accounts, the whole thing was a very successful fiasco which enjoined many of the sharpest tacks from the troughs and the trays. There were so many rules and regulations that were inadvertently broken by the band of merry pranksters that your fearless leaders found themselves catchin' and fetchin' like their asses were on fire. In multiple scrambles to bend, twist and spin, they apparently managed to keep the Feds from having TOO much explaining to do. And they kept their own embarrassment down to a point that the glowing red cheeks didn't quite shine visibly through their Gym trunks. But the glow was obviously there. One lesson an introspective entertainer might ... might derive from the spectacle is that there is a bit of room for improvement in certain circles of self-proclaimed pundits. WELL DUH! There is ALWAYS room for improvement. Does anybody know where the Sigma comes from? Me neither, for the most part. Ain't Greek. Never was. I'm just an a-whole flagit nicknamed Slyde. Six Sigma is a buzz-word now that evolves from an industry we brought home from Japan several years after we began to sprout a clue that our asses were being severely KICKED in automotive manufacturing. The industry was actually delivered TO JAPAN BY US when American Auto-makers turned deaf ears upon a guy named Demming and a few other (I apologize for forgetting in this short writing their names.) The industry of which I speak? The QUALITY Industry. Six Sigma is a mathematical approach that uses statistical process controls that will, more or less, guarantee evolutionary improvements in quality at a maximized rate. The demo at Kitty Hawk was all civilians for the most part and relatively few individuals actually know or understand how badly it was boogered up by the wizards at the helm. The Golden Knights on a separate note, have changed their performances very, very slowly in decades of military-soldier-recruiting practice. If it ain't broke, don't fix it? Well. Maybe there is room ... maybe there is opportunity ... maybe there is need ... maybe there is desire ... maybe there will be growth ... ... and perhaps there can be quality ... ... in the civilian skydiving entertainment industry. luv, slyde let's moon these saxon dogs What's plural for genius? Genii? naaa prolly not us Thank you Joe Smith. Thank you Dave DeWolf. Thank you Shorty Janousek. and THANK YOU J.T. HILL!!! A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Well, I'm not going to take a position on your claim until you post what exactly you were suspended for. However, I would like to point out that your above sentence does you no credit whatsoever. If you're going to appeal USPA's action, you might want to rely on arguments that don't include racist claptrap. Gareth, I'm unfamiliar with the term "claptrap." Encarta's dictionary says: nonsense: nonsense, especially pompous or important-sounding nonsense Didn't intend to sound racist, or pompous. Sorry if you saw that. Nonsensical? Well, this is Slyde Sphincter. Thank you. Claptrap till your fingers bleed. Arab Muslims might easily be thoroughly vetted skydivers. Er ... well ... maybe not as easily as they SHOULD. The muslim family I spent time with last month was delightful; some of the most peaceful folks I have ever had the pleasure to have known. They told me "you will live 100 years." That means I might be almost half finished skydiving. Indians, them. Suni, too. Yikes! Don't tell TSA! They might run to randy. See! see! see sheece I told them that a cowboy once said that if you scratch off the red dot you might win a hotel or convenience store in Amerika. They howled. Allehandro - a world tourist - was selling lottery tickets that night at as clerk for his "brudder cousin's" truck stop. I never quite figured out the "brudder" part of cousin. But oh well. They were great! He's off to Canada for a few months. There's a broadway tune from, I think, Avenue Q (it's that homo-musical) called Everyone's a Little Bit Racist. Skydivers with our open minds and open mouths and frank expressions are easily and often suspect. Love makes the world go round. Don't be too square. Thanks. Hope you peg always fits the whole. Snuggly. m~ hope other attackers will contact me directly and off thread as many have already. This thread has run it's course, me tinkles. Thanks. Rock on, stoners. This ain't no glass outhouse we're dumping in. Or out of. eDo onward. m2 MY iNDY 500 watch for it at a private conversation near you, BigEars. m3 A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Quote***Mark, I really hope you get some professional help. Mental Health counselors can do wonders these days. QuoteI really planned to stop, but your post is just too provocative to resist one more short reply. Ladies and Gentlemen, Please ask your regional director to replace the Head Quarters staff with some folks in behavioral science who have associates degrees - mental health counselors. Professional help is EXACTLY what I need! Thank you Jerry! You're a true sky god. Keep pounding out the progress, sir. Cerulean skies, boyz & ghouls! Nuff said. For now. I'll try and post a new idea about once a week for a while ... for my sanity. Bwoohoohoohooahhahahahaaa! A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Ah communication! Ain't it just a dandy thing! I'll snap to it. Me thinks it's been arrears a while. Rule 53! eDo onward luv, m~ A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

As a skydiver, do you consider yourself an aviator or aviatrix? I believe that you should. The Random House College Dictionary defines aviator as “a pilot of an aircraft or other heavier-than-air craft.” Is your gliding semi-rigid airfoil a “craft?” Or should we continue calling it a mere parachute? How about your jumpsuit? Are you flying when you pilot your jumpsuit? Is your jumpsuit then a “craft” as well? You do fly, don’t you? Or are you only falling as non-jumpers seem mostly to think? Here’s another important question. Have you ever detected an air of condescension in the face, the tone the inflection or the demeanor of an aircraft pilot, a sailplane pilot, a dirigible pilot, a balloonist or a rotor-wing pilot when they looked at you the skydiver? Have you felt inferior? Have you felt looked down upon? Have you felt disrespected for choosing to fly your own way? Which of them can fly like you fly? Or do you merely fall? The condescension in pilot’s regard for jumpers was described by Pat Moorehead when he was sent to the Riviera Resort and Casino in Las Vegas more than 20 years ago by your national organization (if you are American). USPA believed then that demo jumps were desirable as tools for marketing exposure. The marketing exposure they thought would increase participation – growth – for sport parachuting. They believed that air shows were the preferred venue and they scrounged up the funds to send Pat Moorehead to the International Council of Air Shows convention as an official representative to promote skydivers’ performances at American – no international air shows. Pat’s report back to the board of directors was a dismal unhappy report. In figurative terms, Mr. Moorehead came home with his tail between his legs. He reported that skydivers are held in very low esteem by the air show industry he had just sampled at Las Vegas. He reported that jumpers, even though they are traditional and popular acts at almost every air show on earth, are regarded by industry as necessary evils, annoyances, even nuisances. Those pesky skydivers! This season (2008), it was my pleasure to perform in Canada with a guest jumper on my team. The lady from Ann Arbor is Cindy Irish. Cindy is well known and attends the Las Vegas ICAS convention regularly with her all-woman team Misty Blues. During our 4-hour drive to the Toronto venue where we performed together, we discussed Pat Moorehead’s findings at ICAS in Vegas back in 1985 or so. “Nothing has changed.” She said. Nothing has changed in 22 years!? This needs to stop ladies and gentlemen. We are not Orville’s and Wilbur’s step children. We are aviators too. But WE are the ones who actually fly. “Falling” (shortened to ‘fall’) is defined in Random House twenty four different ways. Each of the 24 definitions has some connotation that can be perceived in a negative light if the thinker (you or any other aviator) so chooses. The twelfth definition is an exception. Fall: to pass into some physical, mental, or emotional condition. For example: to fall asleep. For the remainder of this article we are all aviators like actresses are all actors nowadays. This is a wakeup call. Falling is perceived as a negative experience. We fear it. Roosevelt was on to something when he said: “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” That was Pearl Harbor. This is skydiving. Parachutes and or the concept of parachutes have been around since the earliest thinkers began to conceive of the possibility of flight. Then why is it that skydivers are so disrespected by our fellow aviators? Why is it that we allow ourselves to be looked down upon as persons not deserving of the title aviator? We are older than all of them. Are they afraid of us? Yes, me thinks. They are afraid of us. If we take a lesson from George Bush (and I’m not saying that is a good idea, necessarily) we should now capitalize on that fear. If operating a powered craft in flight is flying, then it follows that operating a powered craft afloat in a denser H2O medium called water should be swimming. It follows therefore that all pilots are swimmers and I believe we should reciprocate the respect and esteem they showered upon us during all these recent 11 decades. Let’s tell them they are no better than pesky skydivers. Why? Because it is true. We ARE created equal. We went to the picnic with our dads. We went home with our mothers. All pilots are swimmers! We need to speak up, speak out and stand tall in the world of aviation. When we meet a pilot from now on, let’s say “Ah ha; a swimmer, eh?!” I CAN fly sir or madam! Can you?!” Pilots, air shows, the FAA, and all other persons, committees or entities need to stop hiding behind their fear and look upon the skydiving community with respect and admiration. We deserve it. Let’s prove it. We are not afraid of dying. We are afraid of not living. So whenever anybody asks “Are you a swimmer?,” the correct answer shall be: “I can fly as well. Can you?” It will be up to you to choose whether the swimmer deserves enough of your time then to explain that the nearby approaching planet is irrelevant but for only the nearest future. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

I will stop now too with a clarification and an apology. I apologize to those who are offended by foul language. I apologize to those who are offended by angry text. I apologize to those who think we should not scream. I apologize to those who think USPA is doing a good job. THEY DO A GOOD JOB FOR ALL OF US! They do the best they can with the limited resources they can milk from your pockets. They only raise your dues every once in a while and hardly EVER do it in a depressed economy. USPA work is costly, mostly volunteer, thankless and frustrating. WE ARE ALL LUCKY to have the members who serve on the board of directors willing to spend their money and time to do all this thankless work. Even the millionaires on the board who do it for personal adgenda purposes. WE ARE lucky to have them. I apologize to persons who are offended by off-color, caustic, vulgar humor or inuendo. I AM NOT saying a homosexual cocain dealer cannot make a good officer. Nothing of the sort. Don't get me wrong. Some of my best friends are homosezual cocain dealers. I'm am sorry. And I'm serious. I apologize. Mark Schlatter A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

QuoteMark, I guess I'm done here but not before adding that if you plan to address your membership issues further with the USPA, recommend you change your tactics and tone asap. And don't expect much support from other members if you continue the rant. Additionally, the continued personal attack against RO is "unbecoming" and, knowing him, probably unwarranted... pms Thanks, Pat. PROBABLY will as PROBABLY does. still & always, m~ slyde sphincter me tok purty one day frankly mc court The office I attack is very poorly manned, Ladies and Gentlemen. Very poorly manned. Very poorly manned. Very poorly manned. m2 A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Maybe you should take your own advice and calm down. YOU are the maniac in this situation with your tantrum and are making us all look bad. And basicly I view this whole thread as nothing more as a personal attack on Randy Ottinger and should be locked or removed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All skydivers are maniacs and all pilots are swimmers. I would like nothing more than to calm down and concentrate on other projects like MY iNDY 500. And believe it or not, that's is exactly what I am up too. But let's stay on topic for now. Thanks. It's not personal, except that I thought the boy was my friend. Nobody ever told me how loyal he is. If you think I'm making us all look bad, I hope you will consider how you are preparing to look when I set out on my own as an outcast. Hoo boy. You are REALLY gonna love your BOD then. I mean REEELY love it! Thanks Randy. Nice representation ol' Pelican pal. Bill would bow down if he could. Facing away. Take it home, snowman! C: enter ### A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

READ MY LIPS: O S A R!!! say it out LOUD!! brevity is the soul of wit shake your spear thank you willy bill A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

You are a VERY lucky person. I wish EVERYBODY could feel those. Oh sure. Most Americans have their own version of the heebes. But then ... when you think about it, doesn't everybody? Even the bugs? Do you see dead people? This is nice. Thank you. Would you be surprised to learn that I wrote several pages for the jumpers here in Texas and have been characterising that document as my unabumbermanifesto? Yup. Sure enough. Most of 'em haven't seen it yet. "Screamin pissed is as screamin pissed does." (m~, today) It's generally discouraged in our society because rage can be such a dangerous thing. But rage is perfectly normal. It's how we DEAL with rage that gets us in trouble. Yup. I'm in trouble cuz I'm screamin pissed. But you needn't look under your bed for explosives. It's OK to get angry and you don't need a pill. Long as you remember the rules from kindergarten. Share your crayons. Don't hit girls. Raise your hand ... the pen is mightier than the sword ... or seretonin inhibitors. Write, rite, write right. Right, Orville? Wilbur? Can you hear me Wilbur? Willllllburrrr?!! Roll over Ottley. Randy's gotcher back. ted musta became a Democrat or sumpin he gets free meals for life ta daaa m2 A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

great quote...very true. I have been following this thread and i seems like the OP's anger and venom are greatly due to a lack of an immediate response and "correction" of the perceived issue. I think a tempered response and willingness to work with the system instead of raging against it may have produced better results. ... uh, gee Wally, ... work within the system ... uh, I wonder what THAT's like? Let's go ask dad! Good idea, beeve A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

It wasn't an attack, Bill. It is part of the message that we are perceived as low lifes by too many aviation leaders and too many ordinary people. Bird shit and fools? Droppings? I don't poop where I eat? All pilots are swimmers? Get the fuck out? We can make an attack of almost any characterization, San Diego boy. But it ain't necessarily so. We are all in this together. So let's stay off the high-horse and just get on down the trail. Sticks and stones will break my bones. Share your crayons. Read Robert Fulgum. All we really need to know, we learned in kindergarten. Sorry if I struck a nerve, I generally only aim for the head and heart. It's easy to envision an apple on the Directors' heads, I must admit. But I'd prolly miss and hit randy in the knee. Away from the bonfire? Where's the keg? Thanks Bill. You do good work ... for the most part. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

The Sphincter Brothers had a minister of Silver, Snow and Cohesion. J Paul was his name. We see what we want to see and we hear what we want to hear. We must be careful what we wish for. If the student didn't learn, the teacher didn't teach. ***I read about half of the volumnous 'information' you sent and grasped the position of the USPA within the first two pages./quote] Thank you for your stamina, soldier. Good luck on your next swim across ... A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Thanks to you all, The new BETA site went online abruptly in March of 2008. There were encourging aspects. It is very user friendly, and for the first time, skydivers existed in the system. (Previously, you had to enter yourself as a pilot and explain in the comment section that you were a different life form.) But now when you click the submit button, you get a pop-up that says "must include at least one pilot." I got their attention by putting myself in BOTH places. TSA knew I would call and were waiting for me. "HOW"D YOU GET THIS NUMBER??!!" Was the first question out of Kerry Flemming's mouth at FAA Security. To paraphrase the famous movie line I cannot cite from memory; I'M MAD AS HELL and I'm NOT going to take it any more. All that needs to change is to allow the "submit" button to operate for a skydiver alone. Pilots must comply as pilots must comply. I have no problem with that and have assisted many HUNDREDS of pilots to stay legal within the system. Folks, if we continue to behave like the maniacs we are perceived to be by ... ordinary people ... we deserve to expect our sport to reside where it has stagnated for decades. All pilots are swimmers and EVEN ordinary people are assholes. The Sphincter Brothers are on the air. Let's kick a little ass and get some dad-blamed-respect. Let's start with a panty-waist who cannot conjuer the professional courtesy to say "Hey. You might be onto something but I'm a little busy here." Pick up the fuggin telephone Randy you peck-of-pickled-pepper-picking-peter-piping-pussy! Shit happens. We could imagine a veritable plethora of scenarios for how pilots screw up and violate controlled airspace. They are all irrelevent here. Help Randy fix his ... uh submit button ... or get somebody else. I firmly believe that Mr. Ed should get somebody else for I do not forsee Randy ever being less than the Randy I met 30 years ago ... and prolly not much more either. Sorry, Frosty. TSA's Reggie Rhodes and Ada Johnson have been delightful for many years and many events to work with. Kerry Flemming and Brian Throop are first class Big Brother gustapo pricks as far as I'm concerned. They should be Chevy Chase's dog in Family Vacation when he accidentally left the pet leashed to the back bumper and drove off to Jellystone. "I AM FAA!" Throop barked in my ear. There's a big mouthful! Thank you!! USPA is being USPA JUST BECAUSE THEY DON'T VIEW THE ISSUE They have spent all their time and YOUR ELEVATED DUSE money TRYING to shoot the messenger. DING DING DING HELLLLLLLOOOOO Randy. "I don't think there's anybody back there." "Where's the beef!!!" pork r BETA generally means deadlines. Nice and friendly? You want nice and friendly? I'll SHOW you nice and friendly. YOU CAN"T HANDLE nice and friendly. Boy & Girls ... er, well boys. Randy & Ed are ... uh, nice & friendly. Unless you send 'em stuff that resembles work. Then they're nice and invisible. Then they shoot the messenger ... in the back. Maybe I should try that ... again someday down the road. Right now: "I'm screaming pissed." A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Sheeer profundity! I'm speechless. Thank you your activist highness. You make the world go ... well ... uh ... good enuff around. You should send your resume to Mr. Ed. Of Course. I'm speechless. It's Dog Fish Head time. See ya tomorrow ... me tok prety one day A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

I have a 3-day performance then. The 14th annual appearance. They'd be seriously disappointed if I didn't show up. Maybe I'll send a spy, if I can find one who cares. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

We are working on the full disclosure of that language as we speak. For Bush's John Q Public - THERE IS NO LANGUAGE. It's "not your need to know, citizen." Are you beginning to sprout a clue here? To "change" what is secret and enforced without opportunity for challenge ... well, do you think Randy knows how to do that. Ed? The board? Do you think they even have the courage to try? Do you think they even have the vision to see why it is imprtant? if we only had a brain great Wizards? Speak carefully, grasshopper. Dropping? Dropping WHAT? Are you more than a dropping, son? Or are you comfortable where USPA squats? A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Here's another snippet that USPA does not like. This lends itself to a reason I'm a better friend than enemy. USPA is making an enemy of me, I believe. (yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear you. self inflicted. I know.) When the first instance occured where I was able to challenge FAA on their unauthorized reversal of TSA Waiver conditions regarding jump pilots who will not penetrate, I initiated the challenge by placing myself in BOTH places on the application - PILOT AND JUMPER. As expected, TSA rejected the application and I called instantly. "It's NOT US. It's FAA. Here's the number." I called the number. It is available to you in an earlier post. Kerry Flemming will answer. When I called that number, the first question I got was: "How did you get this number? You're not suposed to have this number." tee hee Well I got my ass chewed by Kerry Flemming and next by his boss Brian Throop. But I stoon my ground. As their voices escalated in amplitude, mine did too. Next thing I know, I am being investigated as a terrorist. Strange vehicles are passing my secluded home and unmarked aircraft are making 90 degree banks taking pictures above my house at 400 feet. My 16th performance at Bristol Motor Speedway was recently denied by FAA citing "security concerns." tee hee I might be a giant flagit, but I'm no terrorist. Waving the flag for a living has been recently disallowed by your loving leaders in Washington. USPA is on their side. Way to go boyz! I was contacted by Special Agent Jon Santee and asked to rendezvous in Dallas and sign a sworn statement regarding emails I had been sending to Brian Throop. Here is that statement. STATEMENT I, Mark Schlatter, make the following statement freely and voluntarily to Jon SANTEE, who has identified himself to me as Special Agent of the Federal Aviation Administration. No promises or threats have been made to me and no pressure or coercion of any kind has been used against me. I make this statement with full knowledge that it may be used against me in any administrative proceeding. This statement is being provided at the request of Agent SANTEE. It is an accurate representation of answers to questions he posed regarding an investigation he is conducting. I am self employed as a Skydiving Entertainer. I was born on September 19, 1954, in Watseka, IL. My address is 3904 County Road 4040, Whitewright, TX 75491. I hold FAA Certificates as a Private Pilot, Mechanic and Master Parachute Rigger. My certificate number is xxxxxxxxx. I am also a Designated Parachute Rigger Examiner for the FAA. I have routinely made skydiving appearances at public sporting events, such as the races at the Texas Motor Speedway and average about 60 performances per year since 1988. In addition to that, when I jump at certain events, I am required to apply for a Certificate of Authorization from the appropriate FSDO, using a FAA form 7711-2. On that form I am required to provide the name, address and certificate number of the Pilot that is flying the plane that I am skydiving from. The FSDO then authorizes a Certificate of Authorization in accordance with Part 105.21, which covers jumps into congested areas or open-air assemblies of persons. In addition to that, I am required to complete an application for a waiver to enter the Temporary Restricted Airspace that exists over certain outdoor events. This waiver is applied for using a website that is operated by the TSA. One of my issues is that the website is a BETA website. The fact that it's a BETA website means it can be changed to fix easy problems. The website requires me to provide the name and certificate number and sensitive personal data of the pilot. My issue is that the pilot is not flying into the the restricted airspace. He is flying far above it. I am the one skydiving into the restricted airspace. In the past, I dealt with two employees at TSA and explained to them that there was no need for me to provide the pilot's name if he was not going to be entering the restricted airspace. The restricted ceiling is 3000 feet. The pilot takes me up to 4500 feet for me to make the jump. The TSA employees agreed with me, however the process has since been transferred over to the FAA for final vetting of the process. I submitted a waiver request and put myself as both the pilot and skydiver because I was unable to exit the system without pilot data being included. The waiver request was rejected and as a result I had a lengthy conversation with Brian THROOP of the FAA. He barked at me and said "I AM THE FAA." I tried to explain to him that he didn't need to know the pilot's name and there was no need to conduct a background check on a pilot who was not going to fly into the restricted airspace. I have not been provided with any source or regulation that requires the FAA or TSA to ask for this information nor do I see or understand that there would be a need. I have sent several emails from my email address mschlatter@msn.com to Brian THROOP, and included members of the US Parachute Association as courtesy copies on some of those emails. I never intended to threaten anybody with those emails, and have since sent an email to Brian apologizing to him for any misinterpretations which may have been perceived as threats. I don't have any intention of causing any harm to anybody in this process. The last time I called the TSA, they gave me the number to the FAA and told me "they are handling it." This is why I called Brian THROOP. He got testy with me on the phone and that is why I raised my voice to him. I am angry over this issue but am not going to cause any harm to anybody. My only reason for sending the emails was to have my voice heard regarding this issue. I don't feel that the USPA employee, Randy OTTINGER, who is the Director of Government Relations is responding to my concerns. I have expressed my concerns over this issue to him but he has ignored my pleas and concerns. The emails I sent were only intended to express my frustration over the requirement to provide the pilot's name and other sensitive data when I do not feel it is necessary. The website needs to be changed so that I am not required to list the pilot's information. ================================ Lilly Tomlin as Edith Ann: " ... and that's the truth. tthptthptthptth!" A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

QuoteMark, Not sure I understand your complaint yet, in part because you seem to add lots of hyperbole and angry rant with many communications. True. And should heartfelt, persistent exaggeration be quashed by exile? This is Slyde Sphincter speaking. What I do know however is that insults, taunting, arcane challenges, flaming e-mails and acting infantile is not a good way to get anything accomplished in the real world. True! A quick phone call should be all it takes. Personally, I don't mind background checks and have gone through many in my profession. Not sure the purpose in this case so am interested in more detail however. Personally, I don't mind them either. That is not the point. The point is 2-fold: jumpers are discriminated against and this SHOULD be a quick and easy baby-step in the RIGHT direction to change that. It's a freakin' BETA site for cryin out loud! Pay attention USPA. FAA said "yeah but if he's dropping something into the TFR ..." SOMETHING?!! DEFINE SOMETHING!! "I am NOT a something!" That pissed him off. And here we are. He's still pissed. Me too. I'm also interested to hear more detail about your USPA expulsion because I'm not convinced acting obnoxious should be grounds for USPA disciplinary action. In fact, that could describe the average weekend at many drop zones... I love you, man!! Actually there are many parts to the obnoxious rants for my pals Ed & Randy. Much of the tenor has to do with sinking a ship that has run aground. "If this cowardice is all I have to work with then the vessle belongs at the bottom of some distant past ocean." and on and on and on Sphincter Brothers are on the air ... old buddies. Finally, don't expect to make many friends participating in lawsuits against the skydiving industry... One of my favorite mentors, the late Joe Smith told me in 1980 (and Dave carries the torch): "If everybody likes you, you're not doing it right." Long live the HERD! This place could use more bullshit ... especially at headquarters. It's no place for sissies. Remember where you come from Randy. We will. Facts are the stuff of litigation. Helping them to be made, and to remain clear is not a crime. Thanks Pat! Hope to meet you one day. still & always, m~ A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Jefe: Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect and education. But could it be that once again, you are angry at something else, and are looking to take it out on me? You are wise, Heffay. Do not belittle my friend. What would you possibly accomplish with my plethora when you have, butt, such one tiny stick? A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

I will suggest, tdog that you avoid witness stands and lawyers. It's an old tactic to shift gears mid-paragraph and ask a question the is unlikely to be recalled accurately in an instant. It is also a tactic to mislead a room full of DZO's in characteristic style. The correct answer is "Not that I recall at the moment." Thank you sir. May I have another. There will always be witnesses. Pray they are honest. Dan Poynter was of course CHOCK FULL of answers when I wrote to him many months earlier to ask about how to get paid. He wrote a book on how to maximize compensation as an expert. The short answer, charge what you're worth. You'll get it. Be worth what you charge and you'll get it again. It's the same advice I provide budding entertainers who also want to earn a living as a skydiving entertainer. I've done that since 1996. First question I asked Dan the moment the gavel fell in the Sunpath case: "Have you ever worked for the dark side?" I already knew the answer, many times over. I also knew the purvasive sentiment in the industry. I was a DZO in that symposium audience many times. Sadly, many of the speakers were of similar poor quality to the one you admire. This might be the only time I will brag about the two cases lately where grieving parent's lawyers paid me to effectively help them explain to the agonal folks that they simply did not have a case. At my own peril, I will add the irony (knowing you probably will misunderstand as usual.) One of those cases was against a Skyride DZ. "Great!" I thought. "A dark side case where I can use my full enthusiasm." How rare! Pray the experts are honest, tdog. The system depends on it ... unless you are an attorney. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

So are you interested in right and wrong, or just money? Right, TK. It is pleasant to be paid to answer questions. As an expert for a plaintiff, that is all we should do. As an expert for the defense of our bretheren, we can get into the game and be creative. There will always be experts for both sides. Pray they are honest. This is off topic. Sorry. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Your diplomacy skills might need some improvement. That's hard to argue. I'm no politician. A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!

Calm down Bill, I flamed out with harmless back ally absurdities and arcane streams of consciousness from the good old bad old days when sex was safe and skydivers were dangerous. When the Directors continued to ignore me I taunted them and sent dozens of arcane challenges to goad any sort of reaction. They remained silent. Yes. very much of those emails will not make sense to younger readers, and readers who don't share much of the background. We are a tiny community and many have been through a lot together. It would take hours to reconstruct the thoughts and or inspirations behing all the silly emails. We take ourselves WAY too seriously, sometimes. If "come out and fight like a man Bambi boy, you peck-of-pickled-pepper-picking-peter-piping-pussy" strikes you as threatening, then maybe you don't like VietNam era hayseeds from the corn belt. I quoted lots of song lyrics like "the little faggot with the earing and the make-up." I don't mind such insanity among friends. When you're pissed, say so, for cryin' out loud. We're all dogs and we gotta bark, figuratively speaking. When you go to Washington and get a brass plaque on your desk, don't forget where you came from. Somebody will remind you. Like TK A Peace Prize within minutes of Bombing the Moon. Coincidence? "Beware the Military Industrial Complex." You GO Ike!