hozomeen

^^ That's part of the problem I guess. I was hired to do mouse husbandry and experiments on the side, but it has evolved to the other way around. I'm copping out - but I can't get away from the fact that I hate coming home with the smell of mouse excrement on my hair and clothes.

Anyone in biomedical research? I've worked as a technician for current boss for over 2 years. The people in the lab have an amazing dynamic (young, fun, very close knit team). Problem 1: For 8 months or so I've tried to convince boss to hire 2nd technician to take care of a rapidly expanding mouse colony, but no luck. We don't have money currently, and he hasn't included extra salary in any of the grants he's submitted recently. It's going to be the equivalent of 2 full time jobs soon (mouse stuff + experiments & administrative), but I'm not sure he grasps how much work it is. And frankly I neither like mouse husbandry nor am good at it. Problem 2: the work we do in lab is very academic and very scatterbrained. Seems like I've just been making reagents that get filed in the freezer & never used. Partly due to boss being like a little kid on Christmas morning when we get an unexpected result - his "let's chase that down!" attitude has turned into 5 years with no papers published. I'm interested in public health and solving human health problems, not the ins and outs of a receptor. I feel like both I and the lab have been spinning wheels. Problem 3: two of the 3 job interviews I've had are with researchers who collaborate with my current boss. Question 1: Is there any graceful way to transition from current boss to collaborator without ruining the rapport with the boss, or is "moving to the dark side" simply a no-no? I babysit his kids, he's talked me through personal problems, etc. I don't want to make him bitter, and he's already stressed about grant funding. I have no idea how much or how little to tell him, how frank or how conservative I should be when negotiating this resignation. Question 2: As a technician & lab manager I've become kind of "lab mommy" - I take care of a lot of things before anyone else notices they need to be done. I enjoy keeping things running behind the scenes, but should I worry about the lab's stability if I leave and haven't been able to find a replacement? People keep telling me "it's not your problem," but I can't 100% accept that. Thanks for any input. Totally random, I know. --- (My husband is the jumper; I just love to watch!)

It's not important - I would welcome his company, but I'm totally OK with him not coming. I like Skymama's idea of having a get-together after the wedding. "My husband's the jumper - I just love to watch!"

You're right - I hate the idea of dragging him along just to appear as a couple, then leave him to fend for himself among my friend's parents' rich friends, and stand by the wall waiting for it to be over. I hate being in that position myself, especially if I don't know anyone at the ceremony or reception. Neither of us are very active socially and my friend knows this. The fact that he's willing to suffer for me is more than enough for me to be willing to let him skip the wedding and go to the DZ instead. "My husband's the jumper - I just love to watch!"

Thank you all for excellent advice - I appreciate hearing both sides. By "bored or worse" I mean that he is not a people person, and says what is on his mind, so there is a chance that if my friend's wealthy-snob parents say the wrong thing to him, he would tell them off ;-) (I would find it hilarious) One other thing is that he doesn't drink, so we can't take your advice to let him "bag a bridesmaid" (too bad, eh?). The thing to do is probably to just ask her opinion. I'll keep y'all posted. "My husband's the jumper - I just love to watch!"

Is it bad form to come to a friend's wedding without my husband, if our excuse is "he doesn't want to come"? I am a bridesmaid at the May wedding of a relatively close college girlfriend. My husband has never attended any of her parties or gatherings with me, both because he isn't interested and because he is uncomfortable in crowds. She has hinted at disappointment (or maybe disapproval) that I don't force him to come, but we don't subscribe to making appearances for the sake of appearing as a couple. Now I am wondering if I should bring him to the wedding. He says he will come if I want him to, but I am concerned that he will be bored or worse. On the other hand I don't want to offend my friend. Any advice? I'm too laid back to put myself in her high maintenance shoes! "My husband's the jumper - I just love to watch!"

Hi everyone, this is Sarah... About the fondue thingy tonight, some questions - The chicken is marinating in a balsamic-herby vinaigrette, does anyone have requests for dipping sauce for this? I'm getting BBQ and A1 for the steak. Does the person who has the extra pot(s) have extra fondue forks also, or should i get some skewers at the grocery store for the mob of people we know are going to be there? I think the kit we have has 12 skewers. Color-coded no less. See everyone tonight! "My husband's the jumper - I just love to watch!"