Patkat

slow afternoon - nothing much to do - I work nights, so I'm currently doing laundry, putting off my daily shower, cruising the posts on DZ.com... and listening to Jerry Garcia jam on "Evangeline." Just out of the cd player: Violent Femmes, Jimmy Buffett, and Bach's "Goldberg Variationen." Been kind of an eclectic week. Need jump soon. Soon. -patkat

As told by Handsome Dave - credit where credit is due! A man and his wife are at her doctor's office. The doctor comes into the room and gives them some bad news: the wife is dying of cancer. The husband is really upset, and pulls the doctor aside to ask if there is anything he can do to help his wife. "Oral sex," replies the doctor. "Give her all the oral sex she can stand." So the husband does this. He licks and licks and licks... A month goes by, and at the next checkup, the doctor comes into the room, and says, "I have some amazing news! There's no medical precedent for it, but you're completely cured, ma'am! I don't know how, but the only thing we did different in this case was the oral sex." The wife is of course overjoyed, and so is the doctor, but the husband bursts into tears. "Sir, maybe you misheard me - your wife is cured," the doctor said. "I know, I heard you,"replied the husband. "But you don't understand - I could have saved mother!" Ah, ah, ah -patkat

Wait a second, Shark - I never entered AFF, never mind graduated - I was a static line student - and *ALL* my jumps were solo! Well, not all solo - in the later jumps one practices relative work fundamentals with a JM - and I don't mean to sound too aggressive here - the beer must be talking. Funny, I've never seen the beer type so well.... Anyway, to bring up a point about the original thread topic - I thing that all tandem students are students, even if they think they're just on the ride of the week. Why? Because they have to learn something to make it from 13,000 to 0 AGL without killing themselves and their tandem instructor. And lastly, may I suggest the moniker "How-fo" for 1st-time jumpers - to imply that they know *why* we jump and now wonder how we do what we do in the air. -blues - Patkat

I have noticed very little difference between my chest mounted and my audible altimeters when sitflying. That said, I usually glance at my chest mount at around 6,000 feet AGL and listen carefully for my audible at 4,000 feet AGL, and at ~160 mph any discrepancy would be easy to miss. I imagine that the burble around one's chest altimeter in a good, back straight up and down sit would be a lot less than the burble in a flatter back to earth position, but then, aren't our altimeters always subject somewhat to the vagaries of the wind currents around our bodies? Perhaps Altimaster or some other altimeter manufacturer would be kind enough to do some air-flow tests in a wind tunnel, and recommend optimal altimeter placement for various disciplines. blues - -Patkat

This thread brings up a point that might be of some note, both to UK and other jumpers, and to US jumpers. In the May issue of "Parachutist," USPA Executive Director Chris Needels outlined a reform of the instructional ratings in 'Capital Commentary.' Among the *proposed* changes is the deletion of the the rating "jumpmaster" and its replacement with "instructor." To clarify for anyone not familiar with the USPA, a jumpmaster is currently a rated position - the main privilege of the rating being that a jumpmaster is qualified to instruct and jump with a student skydiver. A jumpmaster is not considered qualified to teach a first jump course, and is only qualified to work with students in the method they are qualified in (i.e., a static-line JM couldn't jump with an AFF student). It was essentially the entry level rating until the "coach" rating was established recently. In the article, Mr. Needels implies that the term "jumpmaster" be removed from the rating hierachy and that DZOs be allowed to appoint JM's more or less in the same capacity as they serve in the BPA system - as a senior jumper, spotter, and safety inspector for the load. So my question to the DZ.com community: What do you all think about this proposed shift in the way the term "jumpmaster" is used by the USPA? blue skies, green bottles -Patkat

One really important factor that some people have alluded to is that people can easily talk themselves into being a lot more scared than they really are. I was on a load the other week with a tandem, who was doing her second jump (her first was a couple years ago). After one jumper got out at 4,000 feet, she started telling the tandem master, and me, and most importantly, herself, that she was scared out of her mind. Before long, she was clearly getting worked into a near panic. Both I and the tandem master tried talking about the safety checks, reminding her to breathe, reminding her how cool it was to make a jump, and telling her jokes - anything to keep her mind off being scared and to keep her mouth from telling her guts to be scared. The important thing with students, especially the nervous ones, is to communicate with them, and give them something positive to focus on - like the dive flow, or a corny joke, or whatever they will pay attention to. -Patkat

Ahh, another static liner. ARCH 1000, 2000, 3000, CHECK CANOPY, LOOK, REACH, PULL! Repeat till hoarse, jump off a table till one half of your clothes are green with grass stains, then take a short ride in a small plane. That's pretty much a S/L first jump course. I think the big thing S/L has going for it is the incentive factor - "Do good, and we might let you freefall soon." -Patkat

Bloke's name isn't Charlie, is it?

Ya know, I have a feeling there will be a spate of "back in the saddle" posts soon, what with spring springing and all. Had a hella fun day myself - slept about 9 hours this weekend between work and jumping, and boy was it worth it! I demo'd a Crossfire (a big ol' 129, loaded about 1.3 - not too radical) and geez it was cool. Lands like a dream. Golly. Too bad I can't quite afford it yet... Had some really fun jumps, including a spectacular diving exit which turned briefly into a head-down, transitioned to a sit until I was vertically relative, and then went through a front layout to a perfect dock. Very unconventional, but it worked! Next time I try it will be on purpose. Hope lots of other folks are getting ready to post about their fabulous weekend, too! -blue skies, green bottles - Patkat

Absolutely! (sing along if you know the words) Free beer, free beer, that's my favorite brand If I didn't have to buy it it's the best beer in the land Warm, flat, funky, it don't matter to me My favorite beer in all the world is the one you buy for me! What I learned in college, by PATKAT But seriously, folks, if I'm buying, it'll likely be Yuengling, Porter if possible. Helluva good brew for a mass-produced product. -Patkat

P'rhaps I can shed a bit of light - I jump at a dz which has not yet adopted the new ISP, but have taken a course recently at a dz which is adopting it. Essentially you have to demonstrate the same skills as before to get your A license. The new little card you may have seen or heard about is basically a checklist - as you develop and demonstrate these skills, you get your card signed off by your instructors. The idea is that the learning process is a bit more formalized than before, and that there is less of a gap between "off student status" and "A -license qualified." In fact, with the ISP, there is no more gap. Is this much different in practice than older student programs? Not necessarily. For instance - I went through a static - line program at a small dz. Lots of the stuff on the ISP progression was taught to me in a very informal manner. For example, packing. I had no packing class, per se. I just repacked a student rig a half-dozen times on a windy day, and repeated the process a few times till a rigger told me to go ahead and jump my pack job. Did I get signed off for packing? Not as such, but it being a small dz, the formal process wasn't necessary. In larger student programs, the increased formalization of the ISP is a definite boon for instructors and students alike. A quick glance at your card, along with a perusal of your logbook, will fill any instructor at your dz in on what you know and what you need to learn. To use the example of packing again, at a large dz, you may take an actual packing class, and then be signed off. Or, you may spend a couple of rainy/windy afternoons packing under supervision and then get your card signed. The only difference between the old way and the new way is that now after demonstrating a degree of proficiency at a skill, you get your card signed. There is one difference - the testing is now oral. You get an oral quiz towards the end of each level, and a final oral quiz to go with your final check-dive. Previously, all you had was a written multiple guess test you had to pass before you could send off the check for your license number. Whether the oral quizzing will be tougher or not depends on how you handle different sorts of testing, how tough your instructors are, and so on. BTW, the instructors have an array of questions to choose from, so the quizzes aren't totally random. All in all, you won't miss much either way you wind up learning. Good luck, and lots of blues skies and light winds! -Patkat

I realized that if God meant for us to jump out of airplanes, He would have put doors on them. And here it is, the first really nice weekend day out since January. I hear there's some airplanes with doors down at the DZ. -Patkat

And a little later.... "Hey, you wanna hit? You might need it." And how come my FJC took five hours when that guy covered everything in about 45 seconds? -Patkat

Ok, so the universe is fundamentally flawed... I'm more than ready to believe that, Douglas Adams or no. But he did get one detail right: the secret to flying is to hurl yourself at the ground and miss. Too bad we still need parachutes to accomplish that critical "miss." -Patkat

Actually, the rule used to be no door on jump planes at all. The powers that be felt that a door designed to open in flight might open on takeoff. If that were to happen on a small plane like a Cessna 182, the open door would act as a huge air scoop, effectively hooking the plane into the ground. So check that door before takeoff roll, kids! -Patkat

Super jump, Froggie!!! I love hearing stories like that. And you know, you didn't say it exactly, but I think your story gets right to the heart of what is so cool about this sport for me - the sense of accomplishment you get from taking care of business and saving your own life three or four times a weekend. You got in the plane, you jumped into the situation, and you did real good. And even when you were on your own, with a lot of sh** going on, you took care of yourself, and reacted appropriately. What a feeling! I know I love it! -Patkat P.S. X-Keys is on my list for this summer, so keep up the good work and get that A license so we can jump when I get down there!

Y'all need to check out "Fandango." Sure, it's not entirely a skydiving movie, but neither is "Point Break." Sure, it stars Kevin Costner, but look at the stars in those other skydiving movies: Keanu Reeves, Wesley Snipes, Charlie Sheen, Stephen Baldwin... not Hollywood's finest. Not the worst, but not the finest either, IMHO. And it is by far the most amusing yet accurate depiction of skydiving instruction ever committed to film. And by the way, my endorsement of the skydiving portion of this movie in no way carries over to the rest of this film. I'm gonna let you all decide for yourself whether you like that sort of late-seventies dreck. Blues, Patkat

Yo, froggie, y'all need to post whenever you start getting a DZ.com get together going in X-Keys. I'm only about 3 1/2 hrs away, and you all are on my list this summer. Only trouble is, I generally work weekends and nights, so a little lead time would help. Plus, I have yet to jump the FrankenOtter - but don't worry, I'll bring a case of beer! -Patkat P.S. bang out those student jumps so we can make a jump together!

Oldest gear I ever jumped was an early-eighties vintage Wonderhog, with a Unit 2 main and 28 foot Navy conical for a reserve. The Unit 2 is a big old seven cell, and the end cells didn't open for th first half of the jump. Why did I jump this monstrosity, you may ask? River Jump!!!!! For my wet training, after hopping in the Susquehanna and having a T-10 thrown over my head, I got to make an actual jump into the river. Cool as hell. Blues - Patkat

an excellent point, Av. I believe the FAA's viewpoint is that even if they (the jumpers) are not paying you, they are paying for the ride, and carrying them requires a commercial rating. At my DZ, we require a commercial rating plus 50 (I think) hours in type (Cessna 182). Otherwise, no flying jumpers. Why? We don't want pilots to have their ratings yanked, and we want pilots who are comfortable and capable in our planes. It ain't exactly normal flight procedures, mushing along just above stall speed with four guys hanging off one strut, then letting go.

Ok... so it took me a while to get back to this thread - and , unsurprisingly, you all covered it quite thoroughly. I'd just like to add that the tandem master who took her up after her accident is a brave soul indeed, or at least so poor it doesn't much matter if he/she gets sued. Bleahhh! I hate stories like this.

Froggie, I am down with your essential opinions - you gotta know when to say no and make it stick no matter what. And old hands need to know when to listen. I gotta go to work in the AM, so bedtime is nigh, but I'll try to remember to elaborate on this theme tomorrow. The article got me fired up too. -patkat

Hey all - I haven't posted a whole lot lately - it's not in my nature, and I've been really busy. Between school and work and jumping and little bit of music-making, I rarely have a lot of free time to keep up with you cyber-freaks. Geez, there's even a new FreeFallFreak (for now - I gather #2 has graciously offered to step aside for the one and only Triple F) The reason I missed all this was that I just finished the BIC: I spent the weekend at Skydive Delmarva in Delaware working on the Basic Instructional Course, and passed. So I'm now certified to become certified, essentially. I learned a hell of a lot, met some cool people and paid up my case of beer for my first jump from a King Air. My goal for this summer: Jumpmaster! Blues - Patkat P.S. I also missed the news about Skydive Texas's Otter and Jan Davis's passing. My sympathy to all those pesonally affected. May your skies soon be blue again.

Great Gawd Almighty! I'd just like to send best wishes to everyone at Skydive Texas. When I got back to work today, one of the guys who works for me told me he saw something on the news about a plane with skydivers crashing, and he thought it was near my home dz, Maytown. I guess what he saw was this incident, but for a few hours I was feeling that same thing that everyone who know the Decatur crowd was feeling: dread and anger and worry in equal parts. It ruined my whole night to even imagine that friends of mine were hurt and a plane at my dz was trashed. Thank God every one lived, and I hope everyone injured has a full recovery. And Mr. Bishop, if what I read about the incident is true, you are the pilot of the year. May the FAA be gentle with you: you saved lives. blues - Patkat

My point exactly. The switch from a fine local brew such as Yuengling to swill like Miller "you must be High if you like it" Life was horrific. I can't believe that I kept that all down. -patkat