Jeff.Donohue

I know -- this rains is killing me, and the Otter at my DZ in Mass. turns into a pumpkin way too soon...

You mean the character written by Linsner or somebody else?

No worries. I am an encyclopedia of meaningless crap.

If it's the one I think it is... You might have better luck doing a search for the Muppets (they used it in one of the first Muppets shows). You can see it at: http://www.devilducky.com/media/7452/ or http://www.mahnahmahna.net/ It would probably be too much to strip the laugh track, etc. out of it for that purpose. MP3 file is at http://www.latke.net/mahnamahna/ Quid pro quo is that you gotta show me the vid (if you can).

A sign from above...

I would describe that [the picture Ashtanga posted] as slightly not safe for work...

Since the statutes of limitations on criminal mischief has expired on these... My favorite was one we played on a guy at my college who used to wear way too much Drakkar Noir (this was back in the late 1980s, when that was big). A friend of mine at another university got a weather balloon and we bought a bottle of really, really cheap ladies' perfume (I forget the brand). We poured the bottle of perfume into the weather balloon and set up the blower (to inflate the balloon) in the center of his dorm room. We turned it on, and left the room. The balloon filled to basically encompass the whole of the room (these were small dorm rooms and weather balloons are actually pretty big). As it filled, it basically sealed the room. Since his door opened inward, he had a really hard time getting it open. Finally, he got a pair of scissors and cut into the balloon. He was greeted by the stench of cheap ladies' perfume. Unfortunately, the real victims of the prank (in addition to him) were the other residents on the hall, who had to smell the stuff. Other fun was had when we built a homemade carbon arc welder (two pieces of carbon, non-conductive materials to hold the carbon, and an old electrical cord from, for example, a lamp). Turns out you can blast through quite a few things with a carbon arc welder (even a homemade one). Another one just lept to mind: while also at the same dorm, my friend (who knew far more about how these things worked) found the telephone relay in the dorm room, and rewired it (don't ask how, I have no idea...) so that, for instance, if you dialed x111 it would get you the room that otherwise would be x112. He also made some "person specific" swaps (i.e., people he knew didn't like each other, ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend swaps). The same guy, after graduating undergrad, went on to found his own toy company...

The toads are where? Do frogs even do that?

I'm a fountainhead of useless crap like that. I forget. Probably Fark.com...

Yeah, Boston grammar has a unique (as far as I can tell) negative-positive construct, my favorite being: "So don't I." As in, Person 1: "I love the Sox!" Person 2: "So don't I!" Linguists write whole papers on this stuff...

"Couldn't care less..." See the "caring continuum", attached.

I think they're more equatorial, actually. I think they dig the hotter weather. I just couldn't come up with a South African pest/hazard that would have been equivalent to a U.S. plaintiff's lawyer... Maybe you need to import some really nasty creatures to even out the balance...

It will probably end up with RIM licensing the patent portfolio from the patent owner. It doesn't pay the patent owner to kill it for good. Expect the price of RIM service to go up to pay for the royalty they will owe the patent owner, but I bet it doesn't go away (even for a little while).

Oh, I wasn't trying to be nasty -- as a lawyer, I think I'd prefer tse tse fly infestations to lawyer infestations... Tse tse flies give you malaria and all, but with lawyers, it's much, much worse...

Actually, I think that movie was perfect for Keanu. Basically, he's good in roles where he is supposed to go "whoah!" and have a look of utter confusion on his face a lot. Of course, the part that had me in hysterics in Point Break was the "I am an FBI Agent!" line. So. Very. Believable.

Such a thing is unpossible. I kid, I kid -- I was wondering the same thing after viewing that video... Particularly, in that case, since he dumped his main thinking that it was the main that was hung up.

Here's today's stupid question: A non-skydiver friend of mine asked the following: "Has there ever been a bird-on-skydiver or (from the bird's point of view) a skydiver-on-bird accident? I don't mean anything fatal (necessarily), but a case of a skydiver or her canopy in flight colliding with a bird in flight, even if the result was just a really startled skydiver and/or bird... You hear about bird/plane collisions, so..." My instant reaction is that it would be highly unlikely, but after watching one of the Mr. Bills on skydivingmovies.com, I've concluded that (a) anything's possible in this sport; and (b) if it did happen. someone would have a great story about it... So could you all humor a newbie and his friend on this one? Strangely, the SIM has nothing on it. /not advocating that anyone try this, of couse (or Mr. Bills, for what it's worth -- that's got to be industrial strength crazy...) - Jeff

Beverly, South Africa has tse tse flies. The US has [plaintiff's] lawyers. That's the difference.

I thought that was THAT Tom, but couldn't tell! He didn't put enough information on his bio to know, though, and sunglasses were throwing me off. In fact, he sat next to me on my Category E-1 jump on Saturday. (He was taking up a tandem...)

I'm not sure where you're located (and it would matter what state you're in), but I'll give you an answer that would probably apply to Massachusetts: a 13 year old can sign a waiver, but it is waivable at the discretion of the 13 year old ! In other words, if she was injured, she (or her guardian) could simply say, "I choose for the terms of the waiver to not apply". Incidentally, if there was any benefit that the waiver did give her (I can't think of any in the typical DZ waiver, but plaintiffs' lawyers are creative), she would be able to take that benefit without having being bound by the rest of the contract (the part that helps you and the DZ). Even if dad (and mom -- because you never know what trouble could arise if mom didn't agree) did sign on her behalf and as her guardians, your gut instinct would probably be right. Imagine the worst case -- the poor girl gets seriously harmed. The state/child services steps in on some sort of child endangerment action, and (as her guardian) the state/child services voids the part of the waiver that it doesn't like. Now picture the jury trial: "poor little girl didn't know what she was doing, and trusted this experienced skydiver to protect her..." In short, contracting with kids and the insane (and insane kids) is tricky. Having said that, I don't really work on issues of this sort (I'm a securities lawyer), but my gut is (i) dad is a moron; and (ii) you're well within your rights. Disclaimer: this is not legal advice. [edited to fix spelling error and add clarification.]

Funny -- I had my first real line twist this weekend (6 twists around), and Matt's phrase "don't spend the rest of your life trying to fix it..." was the first thing that popped into my head (well, after an altimeter check). Kicked out just fine. Observation: Newton (and Kallend) was right: it was easier to kick out once it stopped twisting. [edited to add the word "first"]

Key differences: Rock-climbers have their fun going up. Skydivers have their fun going down.

I'm only 36 and I'd say I'm going to start mainlining ibuprofin. Between rugby injuries and an inability to cross the street without looking both ways, I'm going to be a cranky old man by 40. And I've just started skydiving. Better living through chemicals, I guess. /works for a biotech company.

Hand is up in the air, but Syd was in the looney bin in the 80s, wasn't he? Waters killed the band after Final Cut (yes, I know it still lives on with David Gilmore, but it ain't the same). /was more into the Ramones and the Replacements in the 1980s, but I know Floyd as well.

Happy birthday!