skydiverscott21

I wasnt leaving things behind for people to think i had commited suicide. the truth is i had myself been the one to call home. I feared backing down if i said i wanted to commit suicide. instead i thought if they thought i was dead in an accident that i wouldnt be the one who "killed himself" and the plan was to hurt myself after the call. thats neither here nor there. I did a lot of F***ed up things. and when i couldnt go through with what i had planned on.. i got on a bus and went to florida to get away from everything that was welling up inside me. Im not here to explain everything i did. im here to just tell everyone that i am sorry. i want people to know i am not going to continue that way. that i really want to be in the sport and only to jump. I know that some may not want to forgive and allow me the chance to hurt someone again. I dont blame you. i havent always been the forgiving one myself. i just hope you can look past the bullshit i did, realize im here to jump and be a friend. and that i want to show this community that i am here for them. as they were there once for me. I came here to take that step and prove to this community that im really honestly sorry and wont be one who wont stand up and do the right thing. I wish i could take it all back. I cant. Im doing my best. Anyone who is willing to accept my apology... Here it is. It took a lot of humbling myself to do this. but i dont want to be that person with a chip on their shoulder anymore. God Bless and Blue Skies

i know. i really messed up. I took a year off. got away from extreme sports. cleared my head. got rid of my baggage. and now i am ready to be dedicated and committed to the sport. i know it hurt a lot of people and a lot of people looked for me. i just hope they can forgive me and allow me back into the family, and be there for me like i will be there for them if they ever need. I appreciate everyones imput on this matter.

thanks nick. im sorry for everything. im ready to just be a man about things, humble myself, learn, and do whatever it takes to get where i want to be. Im willing to listen to anything anyone has to say so i can get somewhere in the sport. im ready to be taught.

To My Community of Skydivers and BASE jumpers: No excuses. No bullshit. Last year in January many of you may have been looking for my body that wasn't found and thought to be laying in a canyon, ravine, or at the bottom of a cliff. In an attempt to try and take my own life i wrote a letter saying i had been killed, as well as made a phone call before going on to hurt myself that i was dead. After the incident, i left my truck at a restaraunt and took a bus to florida to get away from everything... I spent a year trying to get my head back on straight and grow the balls to come here and make my ammends. i know you may not trust me or wish to be in my presence. but i am actively doing everything i can so one day again we can all play in the blue skies together and not have any animosity and wonder what really happened. Again i am sorry. and i will do what i can to make it up to the entire community. I hope you will all forgive me and help me to learn more. i only want to be in the skies.