JakGramley

I was going through some of the photos from the old PerrisCam website. I found this one of Bob. We still miss you buddy! Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

It isn't AFF, but when I was still jumping at Kapowsin we had a guy in his late 70's that came out to do the static line course. After he was all geared up he had a long wait for his load. I went over to chat with him to try to put him at ease. I approached him and asked if he was nervous. He said he wasn't, that he had jumped before but it had been a long time ago. I asked about that. His answer was that his last jump had been a combat jump into enemy territory during World War II under heavy enemy fire. We both agreed that the jump he was waiting to do was gonna be a piece of cake compared to that last one! Jack Gramley Computer Geek

Yep, I check DZ.com everyday, but I figure it's better to let the current skydivers do the posting instead of a "used to be" skydiver. Linda and I miss Perris and our skydiver friends. We hope to be out for the Xmas Boogie. Might come out of retirement to jump the jet. Wanna video a tumbling exit? Jack

For those of you that are interested, I spoke with Pat Conatser this afternoon (10/3) and he asked that I post this for him. The Skyvan will be down for at least a month, probably longer. For those of you wondering why jump ticket prices cost what they do, this little "fix" will cost over $100,000 (probably WELL over $100,000). Also, having spent a few days at Perris in the past, I know that Pat, Ben and their mechanics won't let the Skyvan back in the air until everything is right. Ask Pat sometime why he puts such effort into aircraft maintenance and safety. His stock answer is, "My family and friends are on those planes". Of course, he also might be flying one of them, so I guess there is a big incentive to get things right. Jack Gramley

Mike, I was just thinking about that night a few days ago. That was funny. Pat was really pissed and wanted to know why I hadn't done something to prevent that. You had him really steamed for awhile. Yep, I was sound asleep that night, but it was worth it to see the look on his face. Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

I had an interesting situation with my oldest son. When he was around 20 I was single again and he and I were living in the same house. He was working as a bartender and was "dating" a lot, including one REALLY cute little blonde. He had the habit of dating one special person for several weeks, then dropping them, hoping they would not show up again. One night several weeks after dropping her, this cute blonde shows up at the door and my son answers her knock. He looks surprised, kinda quiet and trys to figure out what she is doing there. He makes small talk for a few minutes, keeping her in the doorway, not letting her into the house. Finally he blurts out, "What are you doing here?" She replies, "I'm going out with your dad tonight. Is he ready to go?" Interesting reaction from my son. While he wasn't interested in her any longer, he wasn't quite sure he liked the idea of me going out with her. Then he started to think about his dad and this girl, dating and doing who knows what, and he REALLY didn't like that idea. Once I got home he quizzed me about what had happened. I never told. This gives new meaning to fathers and sons sharing special moments (and people). Jack Gramley Computer Geek

Pickup 8-way speed CRW team - "You're in 8" I also thought the team name "Free Skydives For Everyone" might be fun for the manifester. Call over the loud speaker "Free Skydives For Everyone, 15 minute call!" Jack Gramley

I said, "SHUT UP BITCH!" Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

At one point in my life I was a farmer in N. Wisconsin. It was a small dairy farm. Each morning I would get up at 4:00 am to milk the cows. In the winter, the cows were kept in the barn all night, sleeping on cement covered with straw. Most times they would poop while still laying down, getting it all over their butts and tails. One morning I was especially sleepy while milking one of our holsteins. Just as I decided to yawn, the cow decided to swat my face with her tail. Got a mouth full and decided farming wasn't for me. I still think the bitch did it on purpose! Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

Fifteen years ago a female friend of mine was pulled over for goosing the gas pedal on her car to get the back end to break loose on a freeway off ramp just to make things a little interesting. When the cop came up to her car window her opening comment was, "What's the matter officer, Duncan Donuts closed?" I asked her if she got a ticket and she told me, "No, but I had to blow him to get out of it!" Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

A six foot grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender walks up and says to him "Hey, do you know we have a drink named after you?" To which the grasshopper responds, "You serve a drink called an Elmer?" Jack Gramley

Skymama, Come to Vegas. You can spend LOTS more money here than at a DZ! Jack Gramley

Bill, Some years ago I was witness to an accident that had been waiting to happen for some time. A VERY experienced jumper had been "perfecting" his hook turn, sometimes bouncing off his butt and rolling after hitting hard. One day my CRW team was out at the DZ practicing. We were waiting for our aircraft to load when we saw this jumper hook it. Before he even hit the ground all of the team was running to help pick up the pieces. The jumper first impacted the ground hard, shattering his femur, leaving a one inch section of the femur buried in the ground (we didn't find it until later when the doctor called from the hospital asking us to look for it to allow him to try to reconstruct the femur). His second impact, about 30 feet from the first, left a 6 foot long trench in the ground. Some time after the incident I had a chance to ask the jumper what was going through his mind. His reply was that he couldn't figure out why we were all running towards him, since he KNEW he had hooked it perfectly. Of all of those that I loaded into ambulances while at Perris, the vast majority KNEW they had the hook turn timed right, and were SHOCKED when they hit the ground. Now I know that most of the jumpers that this is aimed at (the ones just beginning to perform hook turns) don't want to hear this, but the fact that you KNOW you are capable of doing advanced canopy landings does not mean that you are. By the way, I should add that not all of the jumpers that impacted after misjudging their altitude and skill voiced this message. Some of them could not be revived and therefore we could not find out what their last thought was, but my guess is "DAMN! I got this one nailed!". Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

Here's one that cost the Hard Rock Casino in Vegas about 1/2 million in fines. It was posted during the Nationals Final Rodeo event a year ago. In case you can't read it clearly, it says "Get ready to buck all night". I thought it was cute! Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

You said you wouldn't tell..... bitch! Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

I wasn't opposed to stalling the skyvan, but you didn't make plans for getting VIDEO of it! Where are your priorities?!?! Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

Keely, Yeah, I guess it DOES make for an interesting visual. And yes, most times when I had to speak to someone about safety issues they were not a happy jumper. My goal was to have live, healthy jumpers, some of whom were not happy, instead of happy dead or injured jumpers. I kinda figured it was part of the job. Something about not being able to please all of the people all of the time..... Linda and I are trying to line up a visit to Perris this Thursday (2/17). Maybe we will see you there. Jack

Speaking of the movie Pearl Harbor, what about the floater bar on the DC-3. That is Skip Evans DC-3, the one that flies out of Elsinore and Perris. In talking with Skip, he said that the movie company was too cheap to pay him to take it off for filming, so you see Ben Afflec stepping onto the DC-3 with a floater bar directly over his head. Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

Actually Skaggs, I flirted with you LOTS! You just never showed any interest, so I stopped. Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

Jack? Jack who? I thought he died. Besides, he was a real A$$HOLE! Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

I thought this one was funny. Eat Me Dates. Sure.... we've ALL been on those! Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

Age: 53 Sex: M Average: 0.19039999999999998 Round 1 - 0.172 Round 2 - 0.171 Round 3 - 0.172 Round 4 - 0.187 Round 5 - 0.25 Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

I work as a computer consultant, but I am NOT a geek, and I resent the term! Okay, I may enjoy the company of a computer over that of a human, and I DO tend to get turned on by new programs, but I am NOT a GEEK! Jack Gramley Computer Consultant

Long ago in Washington State, one of the young ladies at our dropzone was in heat and had found her prey. They were looking all over the DZ for a quiet, private place, but a few of us had been watching them and kept them from having any fun. Then they disappeared, and we had a hell of a time finding them. Finally one of the guys comes to get us, saying there were some strange noises coming from the Beech 18 parked on the ramp. We grabbed our flashlights and headed for the tarmac. Sure enough, as we put our ears to the door, the sounds of love were plainly heard. One of us was selected to handle the door, while the others positioned the flashlights to properly highlight the scene. The action was to happen on the count of three. A true skydiver to the end, the guy handling the door yells "DOOR" right at the count of three, the door opens to reveal our couple, locked in an intimate embrace, naked as jaybirds, looking like deer caught in the headlights. The best part was, because they were blinded by the light, they never knew exactly who it was that caught them. Two of them were Dom and I. Now the truth is out, but we will NEVER tell who the two lovebirds were, right Dom? Jack Gramley, HOBFYPS (Horny Old Bastard Fighting Young Punk Sex)

Keith, Okay, now I KNOW I have to hear this story! I wish I could remember it, but I always tried to quickly forget stuff like that. There is NO worse job than having to tell a skydiver that they can't jump for some reason. I hated that part. How about letting me buy you a beer in the Bombshelter this weekend and we can chat about it? Jack Gramley Computer Consultant