One word, embarrassing. If I wrote this, and somebody from my drop zone read it, i'm sure id get an earfull, deservingly though.
Everybody who has a love for the sport wants to "do it all", but that does not mean rush and get hurt or killed. I am more than sure if you were to do it the right way and take your time you would be much happier with the results as far as your skills as a skydiver.
Besides, why rush, life is already to fast.