Hello all
I'm beginning to feel I've gotten in over my head. Last year I made my first tandem. Skydiving was something I never thought about... I never thought I'd do a jump but the opportunity arose. I didn't really like it at first... but after a few days I decided to give it a try again. I loved my 2nd tandem and couldn't stop thinking about giving it another go so decided that I wanted to learn to do this on my own but it took me another 2 tandems before I got the courage to book my AFF course. So I booked it afew months ago and am going abroad soon to hopefully get it done in a week.
Since I've booked it.. I started to feel like maybe I made a bad choice. I'm not sure if I'm cut out for it. I went and did some tunnel time last week thinking that maybe it would give me the confidence I needed. Well I did 10 mins and hated it! Ok one or two minutes I felt good but for the majority of it I was spooked! Whenever I got stable I fell to pieces... got scared and made a mess of it. It didn't really go all that well. The people watching said otherwise but the instructor didn't really say I'd done well.
For a couple of days after my whole body hurt, and I had big bruises on my elbows and on my head from the goggles being so tight. One concern of mine is I have zero upper body strength so I don't know how I'll deal with handeling the canopy let alone dealing with malfunctions. I know the whole point of this sport is to enjoy it and have fun but I don't feel like that right now. I keep thinking I'll be so scared on my aff1 I'll freak out and have brainfreeze. I'm considering backing out... I feel stupid for thinking this way. I've been saving for ages and I'd lose all that money. I think maybe I should have taken a slower approach to this and take one thing at a time even if it takes me forever. I don't have the same feeling about skydiving that I did a few months ago. I don't think I've got what it takes to get through my first jump. I've never been a sporty person or anything, generally because I have the can't do it attitude but I really wanted to prove it to myself this time that I do! Am I being stupid? Did anyone else feel this frightened in the begining? I'd appreciate your input!
