I did the same thing on my first AFF jump. Had the same thoughts even. Then I realized that nobody (even myself) could take the whole experience away from me. And I plan for it to be a long one.
Speeding on the way home and trying to explain the whole thing to those that don't understand it are part of it, but hopefully not for long
I repeated and all was great. Did level two the same day.
Passed level three with no problems really, and then was given the choice to repeat level four or go on. I chose to repeat. And that is this weekend.
No race here, and no reason to give it up for not progressing at the scheduled rate.
I am not a natural at this by any means, but do figure that I will get there eventually. Comfort is key, and it takes longer for some. Me included I am finding out.
The relax part in freefall it is completely foreign to me, but I will keep at it until it is possible and I can understand what everyone at the DZ talks about.
So, two repeats before level five and I have convinced myself that that is fine, just not as cheaply done as some.
What the Hell. They have all been great experiences, and worth the time and money. And it gets cheaper.
The progression is a lot to handle every time. Stick with it and REALLY prove something to yourself. That's my plan.
Good luck to us all.